Oh, Sam! I love these little...glimpses (?) into how your brain (and many of ours) works. I'm hearing you say things about being perceived and I admit to being a little triggered. Not by you...but the thought of being perceived. I will tell you this, as an AuDHD adult, you can only do so much to change your level of comfort in a given scenario/situation. It is hard to talk ourselves out of self talk...but I applaud you for working on that. Love the analogy of the overheating car! Holler if you ever have actual car questions because I happen to be really good at teaching people how to solve their own car-related problems! Find that joy! See you again soon!
There is this Death Cab song that says, "I've been slipping through the years, My old clothes don't fit like they once did, So they hang like ghosts of the people I've been." I totally got this video and felt understood watching this. I've also recently purged a lot of my clothing. Stuff that still fit but I wouldn't wear because I had X, Y or Z memory in the shirt. It was no longer my The Police t-shirt, it was the shirt I got bad news in. I totally went through a waive of happy and sad nostalgia in sorting through stuff. It was like I saw a lot of ghosts of the people I've been which was a weird experience when you live life always thinking that you are... yourself. I found myself struggling to let things go with almost this feeling of, "Well... what else do I have though?" It was as if I was holding onto something more than a shirt or a memory. Weird, I know. Life. Growth. Nostalgia. Introspection. Humanity. Stuff. It's all pretty cool and interesting.
I relate to your videos so much. I spent so much effort to make my birthday an amazing day for me, because it seems like I've spent so much effort trying to make everyone else comfortable for all of the other days. I hope you had a wonderful birthday.
Oh, and hey, I don't know if you've ever done a video about your tattoos on TikTok, but they're very visible in this video, and your videos have always seemed really thoughtful. I was wondering if you'd go into their meanings or descriptions?
Happy belated birthday, my friend. Welcome to 32, the water's been fine here. I'm glad you spent the day on your own terms and hope you found value in your act of self-love. May you find continued growth.
A little more than a year ago, I took up skateboarding as a 30something adult. I'd always wanted to do so but never allowed myself to because it wasn't what "adults" did. Eventually, I decided I'd take a gamble and do it just for the joy of trying something new. People definitely commented that I was too old to skate and that I'd hurt myself and, while the latter was certainly true, they couldn't take away the smiles it brought me by trying something new and falling in love with the process of falling and getting back up. At the end of the day, it became a part of my life that I do for the simple enjoyment of doing it. Your commentary on pottery reminded me of that same feeling. Keep creating, friend.
it made me happy to read this, thank you for taking the time to share this! I think it is wonderful that you pursued a hobby for the sake of your own enjoyment and were able to push past other peoples judgment/perception and to do something for the love of your soul feeling alive. that is inspiring and I am appreciative to be able to have read some of your experience, thank you!
What you say here is so good: 5:25 . For me personally, putting an identity to that voice has been freeing and gives me more permission to disagree with it, because now I'm not trying to convince myself of something, I'm considering that talk as a suggestion from a separate entity, and if those suggestions haven't been friendly in the past, is that voice my friend? And have they led me to happy, fulfilling places? Because if not, they're not my friend and their unhelpful advice can be dismissed.
thank you for sharing your perspective on this and how you have been able to work with the unkind thoughts that can sometimes appear in our head! being able to find a way to put some separation between the rumination is always helpful and I think the way you said "have they led me to happy, fulfilling places" is a very good question to help remind yourself which voice is trying to gain control. appreciate you for your comment!
