Ready Nest Counseling on RU-vid features FREE counseling, encouragement, and education for individuals and couples transitioning through conception, pregnancy, postpartum, infertility, or loss. As the Founder of Ready Nest Counseling in Nashville, TN, Emily Pardy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who is certified in Perinatal Mental Health. This content is one of the many free resources that Ready Nest Counseling offers to help create community and comfort for those who need support in the perinatal season.
This is a no compromise issue! It needs to be talked about before you even develop an emotional bond with one another! I would almost say it should be discussed on the first date so that time isn't wasted!
I never cared either way. My wife is infertile she wants to have a baby with my sperm and another woman's egg. I was shocked and replied we already have one of those. I have a kid from an ex, my wife is a good mom. The problem is she is 46 and I'm 50😮. WTH
This is a valid reason to break up. Best not to keep hanging on. The partner should not be pressured, either, otherwise they will not be in it with their heart.
Looking for somw advice. Me and boyfriend have beem together 4 years, both 19. I love kids and am pretty sure I want them but not an absolute yes. Boyfriend is totally on the fence but leaning towards nor wanting kids. Not interested in breaking up and we are in committed relationship, at same college, met the famil, etc. I don't know what to do if he decides in a few years that he doesn't want kids after all.
I’m 41 and I have two daughters, 12 and 2 years old. My husband and I wanted also a boy but it didn’t happen. I had a second very bad pregnancy with cervix incompetence and was in the hospital for 3 month because of preterm birth danger for the child. Thank God she made it till 36+2 weeks and is healthy. But I saw so many other women who had not that much luck. All the mothers their suffering traumatised me and I can’t risk another pregnancy.
I am pregnant now and he left me without asking or letting me know He went to his country in algeria and left me here in dubai and in from Philippines now i ask him that i should go with him he keeps saying his done
I'm 24, husband is 34. We have been married for over 2 years, been together for 4. When we were dating he said he wanted 2 kids but now he says he doesn't want any. Now what?
I decided to finish two relationship because of that. Please men if you don't want kids don't waste the time. Also if you wanted and later said that a child it is expensive don't waste my time.
My partner already has a child from previous relationship and I don’t. I’m in a stage in my life where I desperately want a baby and he says he’s not ready. I’m 30yrs and I feel like my life is on hold. I want to move on but I love him
Then you should either accept that he does not want children and live childless or leave him because what you both want in incompatible. I tend to be flexible with the idea of children but would prefer not to have them as they are expensive and mean no more wild random adventures at last minute,
Kind of just seems like you're pushing folks toward considering having another child. This isn't super neutral. It would've been helpful to offer considerations for years into the future that don't involve children to counter some of the language. "who do you see sitting around your Thanksgiving table" is difficult to envision if you don't have an additional child yet. It would've been helpful to consider, "What kind of gatherings do you see yourself being happiest at in the future, large full fun family gatherings or intimate cozy get togethers."
Yes samething my husband doesn’t want to have a baby so I don’t because all i want us to have a baby I’m just felt bad because he doesn’t want a baby!! I don’t want us break up but I have to do something
I completely get that! With our first, I had a horrible hospital birth experience. I literally had PTSD for years from it. I read Ina Mays Child birth book and it was sooo helpful. We had an unmedicated, home birth last year and it was an amazing experience. I'm so grateful we had another. My husband wants another one already, but I just want to enjoy the babies we have for now. ♥️
I wanna date but as time goes on there’s that talk about kids and I do not want anymore. Whoever I date, I’ll do whatever I can for her, be there, be loyal etc.. but having kids is where I draw the line.
I have 1 daughter. I don't know whether I want another one or not. When you said how do I see myself 20 years later. I don't see family or children. I see myself at the top of my career. Nothing else. I feel sorry that I see this way. I guess I shouldn't have anymore babies 😭
@@mahmudaislam5428 me too. My daughter is a happy kid. I just want to do something for my self and always be a good mother for her. And also a good example for her.
Obviously there is no law that says you have to have more than one child. But for those who says want the best for their kids, don't forget that a mother can't give what a sibling can give. That's just another kind of relationship that lasts a lifetime. It might not be perfect, no relationship is. But its different than friendship, which can last or not, and parents usually will die long before siblings, leaving an only child as a lonely child? Ive just read comments from people who lost their parents early and some mourned to have no siblings to share their family related memories with. Plus, as a mom of 5 I can tell you one child is harder than two, cause parents will always have to entertain their only child and can't imagine how only 2 of them can occupy themselves, giving their parents much more space to breathe. Last but not least, read or watch some comments of really old people about what made their life and what matters most of them looking back. I guarantee, very few will speak of their career...
@@angelab4518 i know what you mean. It's true. We are trying to do our best for the only 1 we got. We are not in that mental and financial boat to afford another one. Wouldn't that be cruel if having another child creates more stress at home? We as primary care givers need to thrive not just survive to be able to perform our best as parents
Most people are just bad at choosing a partner. For both women and men, it really comes down to what you want from a relationship. You have to make your intentions clear from the start.
My boyfriend today does not want to have kids and so am I (we are both in our 40s) but he was in a longterm relationship before he met me. Ex Gf wanted to have kids even he told her from the start that he does not want any. Initially it was okay for her but then years after she realized she wanted kids and so they broke up after almost 8 years of being together
You've never been in love. I didn't "choose" to love this man. I chose to date him and get to know him but love isn't something you choose. I can't choose to unlove him. My love for him is unconditional. It knows no bounds. I'd do anything for him. I'm not in this relationship to get something out of it. I'm here cause I love him.
Break up. Not only are you putting your partners in danger your putting your kids in danger too thinking they’re gonna save your marriage but that’s not their job there’s 8 billion people in the world anyway it’s not like they’re the only one. Be smart about this don’t get your feelings in the way.
My partner and I both started as "maybes" when we first started dating four years ago. Unfortunately we have both gradually moved to complete opposite positions on this topic. It's heartbreaking because I think we have to end the relationship over it. Everything else in the relationship is great and she is the most amazing woman.... But I fear resentment on both sides.
I'm currently in the opposite situation my husband wants another child and I'm not so keen on having another one yet it's not that I don't want another child I do but I want to be able to give our first all the attention
I currently have a 16 year old and a 3 year old. Big age gap right? And I'm really wanting one more precious blessing. My husband and I are 35. But I just think the bigger the family, the better. But then I have wants to my own private time. I'm so torn.
When my partner and I met we both had kids and neither of us ever thought we would want more kids. As Our relationship grew and became stronger I found myself wanting to have another child. It took me too long to express my feelings about it. Originally he said he wasn’t open to it but over the last year he has said he is considering it and finds himself “theoretically” wanting to have another child. Now that I see the option may be possible I have found the yearning to have a baby with him becoming more and more strong. I think he’s only like 60/40 70/30 about it but I am like 90/10. I don’t know what to do with my feelings during this period of time. I get so emotional and feel such a longing and I can’t set it aside. I know I want to be with my partner more than this longing (I think I know this). I am so confused.
There are chemicals in your brain making you want these babies. Not logic. Why add the stress of a baby all over again? Enjoy your other kids, save up so you can help them in this tough world because the new gen won’t be able to afford a house anymore
This issue has really brought my dating life to a halt. I strongly believe that I never want kids.. my last 3 serious relationships have all ended due to the fact that the women couldn't see a life with me without starting a family.. I'm starting to feel like I have to either live My life alone or I will have to put my views aside and have a child because the person I love wants one as Im feeling like I won't really find someone that shares my views.
if you hate life now imagine being stuck with a decision you can’t undo. I am alone but not lonely, and having disposable income does wonders for my mental health. I can book a flight at a moment’s notice without having to arrange for childcare
He could have stayed with u my boyfriend stayed with me I didn't want kid s but he did .I think that is just wrong to leave a woman because she won't have your baby.
Stay strong about your decision don't give into her. If you have kids and it doesn't work out you'll end up in divorce and child support. With child support you won't have money for anything let alone dating again. Trust me I know.
People who make the decision to have sex which should between a husband and a wife should be wise enough to understand the possibility of becoming a parent and be open to that . Not everything in our lives can be controlled and there are severe consequences to our decisions .
That’s a very narrow view of the world. Marriage is just a social contract made to give you benefits in case one of you dies. It’s not a moral obligation for sex to turn into babies, we are not wild animals. We have a consciousness and we have science to help us defeat our instincts
I am in the middle of my heart breaking abortion. I keep weeping. I don’t even want to be with my partner anymore. Just because he didnt own up and became a protector of our purest love. To me that has been completely uncomforting. I don’t feel like I love this person anymore. And now my dream of marrying him has vanished. I really regret not having my baby right now. I am also regreting being in this relationship. I didnt think I was wasting my time. And I thought aborting was going to make us happy, but now I feel so bad. I don’t want to be in this. I am so hurt. I feel rejected and like a piece of meat. This man is not for me.
That’s why I left my partner’s they didn’t like kids and I love kids I can’t be with someone that doesn’t want the same thing as me, I am married to a amazing man that loves kids like me and before I met him I never really wanted kids because of how toxic my ex partners were, but now that I’m married to someone that loves children and isn’t toxic towards me I want a kid and want to start a beautiful family but for now I only want (1) child ❤️and in the future 2, after 2 I think I’ll be done ❤️
I'm 35 now and we were together since I was in my 20s. It was always later later later. Now he has accomplished little and still has a grand future. My dad is dying and won't see his grandchildren. I don't want a damaged child bc of my maternal age. This has destroyed me and he doesn't understand. I have nothing. I feel like I'm going to die.
You are depressed. Sounds like your partner is the cause. While I am spreading awareness of the childfree movement, I am also for living your best life. If that includes babies, you need to go to therapy to help you cut the ties with your partner
I want to have a baby but I'm concerned about money 😭 I'm 23 and have been married for 2 years with my hubby. I was thinking maybe we should wait after our vow renewal ceremony and honey moon, but now I'm thinking different because I want a big family. Soo do I start now? But I have no money ? Help.
If you can’t afford a baby, don’t bring one into your home. Wait until you’re financially stable enough to provide everything and anything for your child AND having a surplus so you can still save for trips, vacations, emergencies, etc
I feel hopeless been with my girlfriend since 2016 until know and nothing yet I feel like she don't want nothing with me seriously I want at least 1 child get married and be a good dad and good provider to them be happy but I dought that will ever happen idk what's going through her mind she just works works and we hardly see each other unless it's a Friday and she doesn't work.. I feel like loser I really love her with all my heart but idk I don't want to leave her and look again and start over again tired of that.. she's a good women and loves me well I hope so but idk I want a child and be happy I can't force her to anything she don't want to do.. Al keep trying with her hopefully god sends us a baby if not then I won't try anymore real simple
@@Tionaintown876 yeah ur rite man... just want to have my own little family 👪 one day and be happy and feel appreciated loved etc.. maybe am just to of a nice hearted guy that's why they do that to me.. life is short to be wasting it on a person like that!! But yes ur rite about what u saying
I can’t say this enough guys, if you don’t know you want kids get a vasectomy. Better then her using birth control and it’s reversible. Otherwise you are highly at risk of getting into something you don’t want. kids don’t come with a return policy.
When youwant a baby but your partner doesn't you become a mooch and a freeloader. You re asking a person to give up their life so you can have what you want. A pregnant woman is whinny, complaining and is not very attractive. She expects the daddy to spend every spare dollar on the kid. Have you ever done some research on how much diapers and formula cost. Your partner will be expected to buy all this(also baby furniture and medical bills) Thr price he will pay is to be second place in your life as you will no longer to have time for him. When you have tricked him into be your personal bank to support the kid and he gets tired of being used you will push him out of your life but demand child support for 18 years. Ladies, quit being selfish and realize guys deserve a life
Asking a woman to have a baby is the worst kind of insult. Nothing in life is free. You are asking for free babysitting. Woman spend time educating themselves to do thr kind of work they are good at. Asking her to have a baby is Asking for 18 years of free slave labor is an insult. Are you going to pay her a monthly salary? What if she is used to spending 2 weeks a year traveling in Europe. Are you going to pay for that? Kids are hateful BAST--ds that steal a woman's time and life. Make sure you find a really stupid woman to have kids with so she will never realize what you are cheating her out of
I'm going through this right now. My boyfriend and I are so utterly in love and couldn't imagine our lives without each other but he doesn't want to ever have children and I do. I don't want kids right now but having children is something I feel very strongly about and he feels very strongly about not having kids. We've had several in depth conversation on this topic. We both aren't willing to break up right now over this. We're only a year and a half into the relationship but very serious and committed. I'd rather live our life together and cross that bridge when we get there. But that's so unfair for both of us as well. It breaks my heart so so much. I don't know if I could live without starting a family one day. I also don't know if I could live my life without my partner. I'm so so lost in what we should do. I pray so so much that he will change or that maybe I'd end up being able to give up my dream of having kids. I'm not ready to let go of this relationship.
Okay, so let's say you keep the relationship going and you two eventually have a baby. If he's doing that just for the sake of your happiness, and he's not 100% willing and committed, he's going to end up resenting you and the baby. That's a guaranteed way to end up with a breakup/divorce. Same thing on the flipside with you. If you end up agreeing to not have a baby for the sake of him, even though you still want one, you're also going to end up harboring tons of resentment for him. Especially as you two get older and your biological clock starts to tick down. You two need to be on the same page now or break up while you're only a year and half in, rather than 5-10 years in.
Dear Sara. I have had 4 kids. You are better off not having any. Kids steal your time for 18 years. They are a nuisance. They make continual demands. When they are 18 they leave home and you never see them again. Your boyfriend understands that his life belongs to be him, not to a kid. If you force or trick him into a kid, he will hate and resent you. Do you even know how much it costs to raise a kid? Be satisfied with your life. You will find out how easy it is to have Child Protective Services on your butt if the little monster learns how easy it will be to control you by screaming when he can't get what he wants That usually brings the policexto your door and you get accused of child abuse because you told thr little monster he couldn't con you out of something
@Patricia Martin I understand that children are a forever life changing commitment and that everything in your life now changes and it's not just about you any more. Your child becomes your sole responsibility. I understand that. Difference is none of that bothers me. I'm completely willing to adjust my entire life around a child. Absolutely none of that is a deal breaker for me. Once I'm a mother I will be a mother for the rest of my life. And they are expensive and take all of your time. But again, I'm okay with that. Thats the difference between my boyfriend and I. We both understand what it takes to be a good parent but are on completely opposite ends.
