Hi! We’re Vanessa and Xander! We specialize in helping people stop feel so embarrassed about sex, and start having way more fun in the bedroom. We’ve been affectionately nicknamed “that sex couple” by our followers for our frank discussions of the modern challenges faced by modern couples.
Vanessa is a licensed psychotherapist. She studied human sexuality at Brown University, has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker, and has been featured thousands of times by publications like O, The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, Refinery29, New York Magazine, Rolling Stone, Buzzfeed, and many more. And Xander is a regular dude who left a cushy career in Tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day.
Together, we have the unique ability to make you laugh while giving you the courage to talk about sex and relationships in ways you never have before!
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So let me get this straight, rubbing your clit on your fingers is masturbating but your fingers holding a hair brush with those same fingers and rubbing that brush handle on your clit is not?? You know, that is justification and that is a tool of the devil. Satan is very subtle in how he entices us to sin. He tells us " i am no devil, for there is none" as he carefully wraps his chains of hell around you, as he tells you that its fine to do that, everybody does it. Whats the harm???
My partner and I enjoy lingering in bed together. We are not in a hurry to clean things up, we'd rather cuddle, kiss and talk. We are older and don't have children in the home (but have children whom we love very much). We are enjoying this time of life when we have a lot of time to spend together.
Kinda relatable lol 😆 My thing is asking someone in the same room as me to grab something (sometimes in the same room haha) or bring up clean laundry! I think it’s a way of them helping me but they don’t like it when they just came in for a quick beverage. Does that seem toxic? Bc the person I was dating hated that more than he disliked all the times I was too busy cooking and cleaning to sit on the couch with him. He has a *paying* job and therefore didn’t have to help around the house, just eat the food I spent hours prepping/cooking/cleaning, add to the dirty laundry pile, and leave a trail of messes for me to clean. Since I’m the one who lost their job the onus of housekeeping and cooking is solely mine, and he swears he will help once I am gainfully employed again, but I have doubts. It can be super tough trying to figure out if you’re the problem or if you’re being gaslit 🥴
While in college, I dated this guy who made every time we kissed awkward almost like we had never kissed before. Once, while we together at his apartment we were attempting to make out and it ended with my nose and top lip in his mouth. He didn't even notice because his eyes were closed. I think he was trying to do mouth to snout like you would on a dog lol.
Hi guys! This was an excellent video. Being in a relationship as an older couple, we actually can have a few more to add to your list. Lol...but you really targeted on this subject. This was great for both men & women. Age has no bearing when it comes to these issues. They are real for all. Thank you both again.😉👍♥️
I'm an old guy, now widowed. I was married for 50 years and my wife and I enjoyed anal sex for 46 years after we learned about it. In the early years we sometimes used anal sex for a birth control method when doctors used to take women off of birth control for a period of rest from the birth control medication. After we realized how much we both enjoyed anal sex and it was easier for my wife to orgasm while I was screwing her in the butt while stimulating her clit, we did it a lot! We learned the hard way about cleanliness is very important! "No double dipping, if you do, go wash your penis before going back in her vagina!" Here's what I can add to the recommendations in this video. My wife would take an enema before anal sex, not just a small one with the typical enema bulb! She would fill up her douche bag with water and this would typically clean her out 3-4 times. You can watch what is coming out of your anus and see when you are clean, really clean. This method of cleaning out her colon stopped the infections. Anal sex is pleasurable for both partners...enjoy.
The only reason I thought its bad because I thought It can cause some issues for women. As soon as I started my research most of the stuff is just pure myths.
