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» .. your words in my head, knifes in my heart;
you tear me up & then i fall apart .. «
HUGE NEWS GUYS!
- where have i been?
well.. everything got complicated in my private life..
it's not that it hadn't been complicated for a couple of years alrready, but in december, everything changed. i feel different to be honest. not that i changed the way i am.. i changed the way i used to think. think about life. i started questioning everything in my life. and i've never felt more; joy, sorrow, loss, pain, love & luck at the same time as i did, the last couple of months. i feel like i'm actually just now, by the age of nineteen, starting to grow up. set priorities, what matters while we're alive. and ugh.. i start blethering xD okay, so; i feel like i'm just starting to live you know? everything happened at once. i feel like i lost so much; family, friends, my heart got like.. broken. no it got shattered into pieces. and the next moment, i was amazed by all the beautiful things that life can offer. seriously guys? the past weeks, were the baddest, goodest and weirdest i ever had to go through .. it's SO WEIRD ! this must sound so creepy to you, or will maybe make you think that i'm mad. but i just had to tell you and be honest with all of you who wondered where i have been for such a long time.
- about the video;
this is undoubtedly the most intensive video i ever made. i worked on it over weeks. day by day i added sth. why? bc this is also the most personal video i ever made. if you watch this video, you know EXACTLY how i felt/feel at the moment xD everything is mixed up. my emotions are driving crazy and do what they wanna do. this is like THE HUGEST CHARACTER STUDY EVER ! XD my feels, compared to how the characters felt in the movies/series. uhm to describe that; i felt sentenced like olive. i felt outta control like elena. i felt confused like jane. i felt ejected like damon.. EVERYTHING AT ONCE XD & this song.. omg. i helped me to survive ! and it costs a lot of braveness to tell you that. but i know i can tell you. imo i owe you that. this video means EVERYTHING to me, and i appreciate every feedback, and every criticism you wanna tell me ! please please tell me what you think ! ♡♡
- what's next?
i'm a vidder since about january 2009. it was ALWAYS my goal to reach 1.000 subs. and i did. i still can't believe that. i worked 5 !! years to reach that goal. a lot of, tears and hard work are uploaded here on youtube. and i shared actually everything i felt about tvd & co and my own life with you! and i don't regret one second. this time here, i spent hours on, changed me, in a positive way. you were part of this chapter of my life! you know, all these character studies, we're working on every single day, shape us as a person. that's just my opinion but i'm pretty sure that's just the truth. compare your life with your favorite tv show. or your favorite character. does the boy you ship with a girl act like the boy in your real life? HUH! IT'S CRAZY ! it kinda helped me sooo much. cause in the end. we're all just HUMAN ! so to get to the point, cause i'm reaaaally typing a lot, i wanna tell you that i won't be able to upload that much anymore.. i can't even come up with tvd lately, and i'm ashamed of that. cause it's so confusing lately, isn't it? i have no idea what's actually going on XDD well, i will for sure finish some of the stuff that i planned to do, a lot got lost on the way, unfortunately.. and i gotta say sorry to EVERYONE that i couldn't dedicate a video as promised or couldn't hold the deadline.. i am SO SO SORRY ! really, i am. BUT if there is ANYTHING you wanna know, vidding OR real life, please, don't hesistate to ask me. and who ever wants to stay in contact permanetly PELASE tell me ! i got wechat, twitter, viber, etc. nearly everything hahaha i wanna stay i touch cause i love every single one of you, you made my dream come true. the 14 year old girl, reached her goal; 1.000+ subscribers ! 1.550+ ALREADY ! i can't believe it! i am especially amazed at how fast the views grow at my 'kelena - the monster' video. THANK YOU SO MUCH ! thank you all for EVERYTHING ! I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ! i really really do :')) don't worry, i will keep uploading and vidding and everything. just that i won't spend everyday on vidding, just like how i feel and what i wanna vid (: i hope you understand and don't hate me now or sth xD and thanks to everyone who read this! it means a world to me.. ♡♡♡
♡♡♡ ! I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALL ! ♡♡♡
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footage listed at the end.
coloring; made by me (definingxstudios)
program used; sony vegas pro 10
I don't own anything but the editing. All rights belong to their respective ownera. There is no profit being made, my videos are only for fun only !