As a Ponnu in this story, neenga onnu consider pannala : Ponnu veetla mean ah irukalam, but namma society la Ponnoda parents ku expectations onnu than , ponna nalla paathukanum. So their mean is different but yes very valid. Payan oda parents ku expectations adhigam - neenga nekailam summa solren nu , but our society thinks the woman belongs to the guys house, including the girl’s own parents. Unga mela expectations avlo adhigama irukum , most mamiyars were mistreated by their mamiyars and they want to take that power back and this is the only way they think they can. Avanga anubavicha kashtam illanalum hurt hurt thane. Hurt people hurt people - Indha explained psychological concept and action is embedded in many parents. You can never imagine what it is to be feeling like every small thing of your life change. Ponnunga oru toxic relation ah accept panni than vazhanum nu ippo as a woman nan nambala. Enna mental ah abuse pannanga, narcissisme was real (I know what it means and I’m not using it just for saying it) . Apdi evlovo parents boundaries eh illama irukanga. Not all, but every woman who hates her in laws know that they have been robbed of their existence in many ways. And she has the right to not have a relationship if it is draining her for who she is, no one deserves it, apdi namma semmaya iruka venam ore room la exist aagalam nu neenga sonninga , nennga endha parent adha apdiye eduthupanga? Ok hi bye podhum nu, expectations grow aagum, anxiety create aagum, somethimes namma mental peace ah namma choose pannanum la - vazhka full ah ayo ippo enna solluvangalo appo enna solluvangalo nu vazha mudiyuma? daily naragama irukadhu? seri monthly once naragam accept panniko nu solluvingala? kashtam kashtam thane. Ella ponnungalum oh nan kalyanam pannitu avanga relationship venam nu poga poren nenacha varuvanga? No, every woman want that nice relationship, but nadakala , opposite ah pogudhu mental torture ah iruku na enna panradhu? Cha chumma edho periyavanga solranga nu pogalam , but everyone has a saturation point, as women we have to do it everyday and maybe being with a toxic in law is not something that women can do. In-laws are many times very hard because many of them think “enga veetu Ponnu” and still get treated like an outsider, and expect her to become one and respect them in a way that’s not reasonable but very boundary less. Men may have a higher tolerance but they don’t get treated the same way by their in laws as a women’s in laws. Sila time, as women we want to break the cycle and we don’t have to accept mental abuse. Adicha mattum than abuse nu illa. Sorry if i said things to straight but this is my reality. Oru ponna unga mela irukura expectations uhm pressure uhm neenga karpanai panni iruka maatinga. I do not ask my husband to not do anything, I just don’t want anything to do with my in laws because it’s mentally abusing and they are old and cannot change even if they try, I am unable to give up part of my mental piece to help them grow and then become acceptable to each other. because no one can change including me 100% and that’s something everyone needs to accept. Women need to know that they can choose their mental health over saving a family that abused her in a way she couldn’t handle. Men should do it too and must, if they are abused in anyway and is unacceptable for them. The lesson shouldn’t be accepting no matter what, the lesson should be okay , how to manage it and be a team and support each-other's decision. It’s difficult. Yes. But that’s the choices we make together. Seri okay, I don’t want to be in contact with your parents, but you do what you need to do nu honest ah pesi Enna mudiyumo adha pannalam. Perfect tamil padam kudumbam irukadhu aana andha tamil padam kudumbam perfect illa just mostly accepted abuse for a happy song ending :)
Balajan, this phenomenon is a sign of a developing society and economy. Women have got power now due to property rights, economic participation and the increased respect in society that comes with these. Men have to adjust! If you think about it, the rise of fascist religio-political entities which spout a regressive ideology (like conservative Christians in the US, sanatana dharma apologists in India) is a reaction to this new power equation which most men are not comfortable with. Enna solreenga?
Yenna ku exactly andha day la errundhu unwell bro. Ennum seri aagala. Doc check panna first Dengue, apro dhu typhoid aachu, then adhu Jaundice. Mudila na. Hope I'll be fine soon...
