“He earned $17k last month. Why are we fighting over $14?” 

0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize. Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube

The most iconic line from Crazy Rich Asians is where Astrid says “It’s not my job to make you feel like a man. I can’t make you something you’re not.” and I think that applies here.

He said "I don't know how to be a new husband, new father and new business owner at the same time". Yet Kara is having the same experience and is expected to carry it all while he figures it out. :(

She is crafting EVERY response to please her husband. She is editing herself too much, just say it. This is the moment.

Anytime a man says, “I’ll reach my potential when she appreciates me the right way.” Sweet Jesus. He just blamed her for his insecurity that he can’t succeed on the level she has.

She’s everything, he’s just Ken. But seriously, the end of this episode when he was focusing on not getting enough attention and kisses when she had just had a baby was so hard to listen to. I would recommend the book “Fair Play” by Eve Rodsky. It helps couples achieve equal division of labor in the home. It’s hard to bicker about who does more/who doesn’t do enough when it’s laid out in black and white what each person’s responsibilities are.

He wants her to kiss him on the neck for earning 17k last month, but how does he show appreciation for the fact that in the last month, she had a baby and is taking care of a newborn, a toddler, and managing to still keep her business going on top of it? She seems like a dynamite woman who has been holding the family together, and he’s the one expecting accolades? The audacity! The only reason he was able to earn that much money was because she was taking care of everything and everyone at home. It’s her win as much as it is his.

This made me so sad - I was exhausted just listening to Kara. Drake was making her responsible for his feelings, and seems either totally unaware or comfortable with that. And then he calls her controlling! I completely understand why she bristles at being constantly asked to demonstrate her appreciation for him when he doesn’t even seem to recognize, much less appreciate, all the work she is doing.

This woman is so hard on herself! When we’re so hard on ourselves that leads to being hard on others as well. I read this quote recently that I think is apt: “You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you.”

I really hate masculine and feminine energy talks. Because anything surrounding hard work and earning money is always considered masculine. I also really hate it when she said WE did things only SHE did. I’m glad Ramit pointed that out but I also was pissed looking at him knowing he didn’t do any of that, but wanted the credit. ADD does not excuse you from helping out around the house! And then he gaslights her and turns it around and says he feels emasculated when she’s asking for help. I don’t see these two lasting in this marriage.

Ramit is usually very good, but he completely missed the mark on this one. He’s following Kara’s lead, but Kara doesn’t have the language to explain that she’s being manipulated and gaslit by her husband. He is incredibly blame-focused, self-victimizing and has tricked her into doing all the housework and child care. He weapons his masculinity to make her do more. When she asks him for help, he gets upset with her for “nagging”. She can feel that she has a loss of identity because of all this gaslighting, but she mistakenly ascribes it to being a new mom or not being in LA. She has a loss of identity because her feelings get invalidated and weaponized against her every day. She’s told her feelings are wrong, so she doesn’t trust her feelings. So now she just knows she’s unhappy, but she doesn’t know why. There is a reason every therapist has called this guy out and why he refuses to go back. This guy is textbook. And his calm demeanor now is to make her look dramatic. I’m confident he’s a lot less calm behind closed doors It seems like Ramit caught a glimpse at the end when Kara opened up about her feelings and Drake immediately started whining about his masculinity in response. Drake can’t even hold space for Kara long enough to care about her identity crisis. Because he only cares about & feels bad for himself. I hope Ramit unearths it in the next episode. But even if he doesn’t, I hope Kara starts trusting her gut more and stops listening to this man who does not have her best interest at heart. We have all been here Kara and you are stronger than this man wants you to believe you are ❤ And the reason she doesn’t want to kiss him is because she’s sick of giving him every single little thing he wants all of the time EDIT: I would also bet money that he uses the fact that SHE chose cloth diapers + food prepared from home to mean that… she does all of it. There’s always a justification. And she always gets the short end of the stick

This man is one of my worst nightmares in life. I can think of few things worse than being married and realize your husband is a sexist, inadequate and insecure man-child AFTER getting pregnant with his child

I couldn’t imagine being so stressed and anxious, caring for a toddler and a newborn that I risked my life 2x to carry and birth, and having a man so cavalierly speak about what I’m not doing for him. Hell no.

Drake word of advice from a 50 year old : be less focused on yourself and have empathy for what Kara is doing and has to go through. Many men are like you : be better. You can ! Btw I have ADD too

If find it interesting that Drake wanted grace and space to settle into his new role as a father but when Kara mirrored those feelings he brought it right back to his feelings of inadequacy without even acknowledging what she just said! It was also weird that he felt what she said about loosing her identity was emasculating. She said nothing about putting him down. Where did that even come from?? They are going through similar drastic changes and he has no empathy for his partner. I’m sure the whole relationship is not trash but when your partner thinks and operates like this the other partner’s needs and feelings are put on the back burner and often disregarded completely. She doesn’t want to “kiss him on the neck” because the response we just saw is probably like that everyday- and who wants to get close to someone who belittles and gaslights them every day. There’s a reason why he’s fired multiple therapists- they probably recognize that more of the change that needs to happen is with him and he does not like that.

How was it not more directly called out that not only is she the breadwinner, but also doing ALL of the unpaid labor around the house? I also wouldn’t want to praise him for literally doing less than her in all categories and for doing the absolutely minimum as a PARTNER. He wants praise for making money and, as she said, he doesn’t offer her any for being the caregiver. The double standard is so gross and should have been more called out.

I was in Kara’s place once. I was the only income earner, pregnant/new mom and the only one doing finances and home ownership responsibilities. I was expected to do everything without complains and also was expected to tip toe around my ex so he wouldn’t feel emasculated. I’m sorry but that’s just ridiculous to expect a woman babysit a grown adult’s feelings when he is not actively working as a partner. Is not the woman being emotional is the guy being checked out. The husband could very well help his wife with the kids but chooses not to…and he will use any excuse (add or business ownership) to not help out. If one partner is expected to multi task and not the other than that’s gender bias at its best.

45:00 She is a better woman than me because at the moment he complained she only celebrated him, congratulated him, but didn't kiss his neck, I would have destroyed what was left of that man's ego. You want her to go out and bake you a cake while doing everything you do AND cooking, cleaning and raising the kids? You feel insufficient because you *are* insufficient. And it's not about the money you make. It's about the weight you carry in the relationship and right now you're in negative numbers.

I feel like this "control" issue is a Red Herring.. Most women in Kara's situation would have a hard time feeling SAFE enough to lean on Drake. I don't see how trying to budget their income especially with his variable income is control. Same with asking to try and earn more money or helping around the house etc.. Let's be honest, she's not really controlling, she doesn't feel safe.

Just the bit ALONE that they have a 4 week old baby is crazy. I don’t know how I’d even have been on this podcast when my baby was only about a month old. I was in pure survival mode still, and I’ve only got the one baby. I have no idea how anyone does the newborn stage with an older baby as well. This momma is not getting enough credit for the load she is carrying for her family!!

The fact that Drake had a $17k month right before or during the first 4 weeks of his child's life speaks VOLUMES. This is a woman with BARELY ANY support from her partner. Kara just spoke so candidly aboout her loss of identity and this manchild replied with "feeling unappreciated and emasculated." WTF IS HE TALKING ABOUT?????

It seems like she (rightfully) holds a lot of resentment towards him for wanting acknowledgement and appreciation that he not only refuses to give to her but also degrades her for. This episode broke my heart for her, she’s being forced to dim herself and walk on eggshells for an insecure man who would rather force her to be less so that he can feel better. He doesn’t look at her like a partner or like something to be cherished and it’s no wonder therapists wouldn’t “take his side”.

“But I know he heard he’s not doing anything.” BUT HE’S NOT DOING ANYTHING!! Dude…you don’t get the respect like your father had just because you exist. Grow up.

I hope that it's not too negative to say I look forward to the death of the masculine/feminine energy Internet discourse. I know that's not all she meant by that, and I know it predates this generation or even the Internet, but it's tragic to watch people limit themselves or others based on some imaginary benchmark of what "should" be.

They don’t like each other; they both chose the wrong partner to enter into marriage. She said, at one point, they have a “a crazy relationship that worked”, but they just don’t seem to be a good fit for each other. The only thing she could reference as amazing since they’ve been married is becoming a mother, nothing about being a wife.

Drake has no empathy for his wife who had a baby 4 weeks ago. She does not feel safe letting go control because he constantly makes excuses or says he does not see the same problems she does. He is not ready to admit he is disappointed in himself and he is taking it out on his wife. DRAKE- Please read "Fair Play" or "Drop the Ball" if you are interested in saving your relationship and understanding why your wife is so upset with you.

Imagine arguing to be the leader but lacking the critical thinking and attention to detail skills to know how to be a leader. Sheesh, I hate this for her

The thumbnail is misleading. It implies that this income is standard for Drake, which is not the case. Drake earned $17,000 one month but that's anomalous. He usually makes around $4,000. Kara has a steady income of around $5,000, which makes her the usual major income earner. He wants extraordinary praise. What does he give Kara for her carrying the family on a steady basis?

A woman having a baby, let alone two, means ZERO to a lot of men, sadly. Carrying and delivering a baby is literally mind blowing! And let’s not talk about all of what a woman goes through before, during and MONTHS after mentally, hormonally and physically. That’s in addition to CARING for the baby(s), husband, house, and in some cases, a full-time job!

He wants to be a provider, but he seems to be making this all about him. I don't see him providing any emotioal support to what his wife is going through. I don't think he's mentioned their kids once the whole convo. It's a red flag they have seen multiple therapists and he refuses to believe that he needs to change. I want this to have a happy ending but i am not hopeful.

what i hear is a woman diminishing herself so her husband feels better about himself??? its so weird.

He doesn’t like her.

I understand Kara’s pain. It was a pivotal moment when she sorted it out. Being vulnerable isn’t something she’s very practice at doing so it was really a golden moment. I was heartbroken when Drake missed the opportunity to acknowledge Kara. It’s been over 27 years since I gave birth to my son. I still remember the joy and the beauty of being a new mom. I also remember the agony of postpartum depression, the frustration of not being able to “do it all”, the anguish of leaving my old life behind. Being a mom is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I adore my son, and I have loved being a parent. That said, it is typically the woman that gives up her “old life“ but is expected to revel in her husband’s continued progress. It’s difficult to make that shift instantly. Kara and Drake are courageous to come on your show and be so honest and open. I hope that Kara realizes what a gift she’s giving to new moms listening or watching this episode. Being coachable is huge in personal growth. In my first marriage, my husband refused counseling and refused to talk about anything. He stonewalled me at every turn. After 26 years when my son was only 6 1/2 I left the marriage when he told me he would never go to counseling and to never ask him again. I have been in my second marriage 20 years. We have done seminars and counseling together. It’s made such a tremendous difference in our relationship. I’d like to recommend the Gottman method. As a strong, independent woman, it helped me to focus on my relationship with my husband. I can’t wait to see the second half of this conversation. I have incredible faith that both will come to a meeting of the minds and find that their love is the most important thing, and with that all else can be conquered.❤❤

31:56 I can't help but wonder if this idea that her behaviors are masculine and her "responsibilities as a woman" are feminine comes from Drake

I'm looking forward to Part 2 and hope this couple can sort things out. Kara had a baby four weeks before this video was recorded. At this point, her body isn’t even fully healed yet from the birth. The baby’s sleep pattern is almost definitely still erratic, so Kara is sleep deprived, and she has to take care of a very young toddler at the same time. In addition, she has become completely disconnected from the person she knew herself to be before becoming a mother. She is at one of the most vulnerable points in her life, and right now, being the man means that Drake needs to give her what she needs to get through this difficult time. There will be other times in their life when Drake is the one in the vulnerable position and Kara will have to set her own needs aside to give him what he needs; there will be times when both are vulnerable and all they can do is cling to each other. That’s what marriage is: going through the highs and lows that everyone has to go through in life and not doing it alone. I truly hope they figure things out.

Is it me or when he got to the part where he was asked about which of his parents earned he wasn’t being dishonest? He said “I believe my father made more.” Then in the next breath said “my mom said the $2,500 check is our money for the month.” 😑

This was one of the most frustrating episodes to listen to and I loved every minute 😂 I can’t stand when people are so stuck in gender roles! Why is she considered masculine because she earned more money and speaks directly? Why does she have to take on the primary caretaker and housekeeper role specifically because she is the woman? Marriage and parenthood should be a balanced partnership! Theirs clearly is not. As a mom, I was nodding my head the whole time she was explaining her loss of identity. It’s so true and you really don’t expect it to happen the way that it does. I hope she finds a counselor to speak to about her feelings!

I'm so sick of women being burdened with "being feminine" , not being masculine, etc, etc. She's tip-toeing around his feelings. It's exhausting to even look at. Imagine being in it.

Postpartum depression and the loss of identity as a new mum is tough. I hope that they find the middle ground and Kara can stop living in fear for the future. Women need to feel safe in their relationships and it’s obvious she doesn’t feel safe enough to let go.

KARA: my 3 year old thinks you are very pretty and tried to kiss the screen to kiss your face.

He knows he needs to do better (lift more weight with the money, kids, house chores...) but he doesn't want to do it because it's "emasculating" being told to.. 😑

Ugh, the title of this one. I feel like she's being ignored all over again. She wasn't upset about him spending $14. She was upset because her husband ignored her and doesn't value how much effort she put into creating a realistic budget.

Ramit Sethi is the most financially and psychologically literate cuddly teddy bear ever haha

I'm triggered by this one. I'm not going to say anything else about this because it will not be kind.

This was the most frustrating episode to listen to. I feel like women and girls are socialized our entire lives to factor in everyone else's needs before our own. We're taught that this is caring. We "care" so much, we lose ourselves in the process. From early into the episode, Drake revealed so much about himself. My jaw literally dropped when he mentioned his "ADD" and "creative skills" as an excuse for not being able to participate as much in the family finances. I also have ADHD and I have a career as a creative - a freelance wardrobe stylist. I can't imagine using this as an excuse when it comes to running my own business... again, maybe its a pressure that women are just expected to deal with, while men get a free pass. How is it not a huge red flag to the both of them that multiple therapists have said that he needs to change? He doesn't seem open to any kind of criticism at all...How can you grow as a person and as a couple if one partner isn't open to growth? It was so immensely frustrating to hear about how he'd called her "nagging" and accused her of emasculating him.. this seems like the perfect example of gaslighting. HIS behaviors cause her to react a certain way, but then she is the villain for having a totally human response? And she is doing it while raising the children that HE fathered, supporting him to pursue his career, and running her own business while supporting the family financially? Honestly, what is he bringing to the table? Besides his huge ego and self importance? So many men think that just being a man is enough. He thinks that because he is a man he is entitled to her affection and praise. He expects her to tiptoe around his feelings and serve him. What about what your wife is feeling? I can't believe that this is a 38 year old man. The honest truth is that if you told me this were a teenager, I would probably believe it. I really hope that he works on himself. If not, I hope she finds the strength to leave him. It's clear she would be fine without him. She deserves someone who is her equal - and not in a financial aspect, but in terms of maturity.

Now I also see why the therapist said he needs to change! 😭

I feel for Kara 😩 She's been happy being the breadwinner and in control during their relationship until KIDS and reality hits.. Now she realised she needs/wants support from her hubby as well as financial stability and he finds it emasculating. She's overworked, stressed and he's right here chilling, expecting a standing ovation for that one 17k check.. 😮‍💨 Keeping hope for part 2

He’s basically saying it’s her fault if he doesn’t earn more money. Talk about a BS transfer of responsibility.

This is why i and many other women choose to remain single. I feel this so deeply from remembering my 2 marriages. The anxiety and lack of support, the single mother marriages, the gaslighting and refusal to take accountability and improve 😢

I did not get a kiss? And then blaming it on her? Ew. Disgust

Nah I'm so confused by Drake. Are you actually listening to your wife!? Because obviously you're not.

Ramit, you completely missed what's going on here. Kara is carrying like 90% of the mental load in this relationship -- consistently earning the main source of income, doing almost if not all the housework, doing almost if not all the parenting, staying on top of the finances. That on-top of being an emotional support for the husband who isn't pulling anywhere near his weight. This is very standard in straight relationships and women are the ones who burn out and suffer, who have to compromise on their own wants and dreams. Kara better be seeing her own therapist individually and understand that this is a great deal for him, and a pretty shitty deal for her.

Did he blame his shortcomings on ADD?!😂

Some people get caught up in the perception versus the practice. Now, the man here, may be heading in a legitimately compassionate route, but it sounds like he wants to be perceived as a great man (like dad) versus actually being a great man.

All of the therapy sessions have been fix Drake and Drake’s like therapy is the problem.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I have a hard time seeing what good he's bringing to this relationship, could anyone honestly enlighten me, please? I can only see excuses, but maybe I'm not empathetic.

I know everyone wants to psycho analyze people, but that man is a bum. She wanted a relationship, but ended up with a man with no drive. That’s every woman’s greatest fear.

Ramit shaking his head when he says “its emasculating…” 😁 and then “wait wait wait where is this coming from” - this is gold.

That husband ain't listening at all. This is what you get when you marry a man child. She busted her ass for 3 years and he wants to be put on a throne, all because of 1 check. He needs to bring that 17k consistently for 6 months for her to trust him like that.

The months after giving birth are the darkest! Do not make permanent decisions during that time.

This was an amazing show. Their arguments were never over just money but about control and lack of identity. I hope they find their solace as individuals and as a unit. I wish them the best. 💕

I wish she had divorced him before she had a second kid with him 😢 so sad to see yet another woman make sacrifices to give an undeserving man the life and family he claims to want, with no reciprocity. If her children grow up and see this, they will undoubtedly weep for her. It's one thing to hear your mother tell you about the struggles of parenthood. It's another to have a time capsule of her doing all she can, coddling your father, pleading for empathy and your father not giving a fuck.

My jaw is on the floor. At first I was thing how Kara needed to be called out for not being “supportive and loving” to her husband’s success, but what came out of Drake’s mouth next just explained everything. Drake doesn’t care about Kara whatsoever. All he cares about is chasing the goal of being the “man”. Ramit did such a good job facilitating, always so impressed!

Saying "we" instead of "I" is an argument avoidment. I used to do it and it's a 100% a learned behavior from being consistently beat down from trying to express how you are feeling. His dismissal is apparent. He constantly shifts from this what she said to but what about me...me...me....how I feel...me. They need serious therapy or divorce. This just disintegrate as she is conforming and changing who she is but can't speak and he doesn't know how to listen.

He's a sorry ass and she's foolish for moving forward with this type of dude. Smh

She basically had to depend on someone who refuses to let her know how much money he has earned while being pregnant. Yikes. I know sje was stressed out

I feel a lot of tenderness and compassion for Kara. Strong, intelligent woman, going through massive identity shifts and (as it seems) not getting the supports she needs. Good luck!

I totally get what Kara's saying. She feels fragmented, almost destroyed. She barely knows any more who she is. The only constant is that up to last month she's been the major income earner, and there's no certainty that Drake will continue to put in the effort. He said himself that he will only show up for the hard pull of age kisses his neck and lavishes praise in him. Kara lost so much of what she loved, including her father, in a very short time frame. She's reeling in a whole new world. Drake is who he's always been - and she's seeing that in a new way.

I really hope she gets immediate mental health support

A lot of unexperienced couples councellors can’t spot a narcicissist in a couple, since narcicissits often seem calm and collected and their spouse, often on a verge of the breakdown tends to seem emotionally unstable and gains attention as a source of the problem. The session started to take a right direction in the end, hope it really did…

I don’t think she wanted to say it…but if I was in her shoes, the reason wouldn’t be because I don’t want to be “the captain”. It would be because I was resentful. She’s been doing it (and MORE) for years and nobody kissed her on the shoulder :/

Such a brilliant woman.... Why she couldn't wait for someone better? She doesn't deserve to support 3 kids... One of whom is feeling emasculated and not kissed enough on the neck... I feel so bad for her! He wants respect and admiration and then maybe he will give her something to respect him for...

This whole episode has strong manosphere vibes, and I'm real curious how Ramit is going to handle that in Part 2. 😅

Poor woman. So gaslit and she can't see it.

Drake is acting like a man child. They need individual and couples counseling. He is sexist and insecure yet he married a boss. Now, he wants her to waste time she doesn’t have worshiping him so that he doesn’t feel mediocre.

This was a good episode! The moment she started talking about masculine energy, I had to take a deep breath. I will say there are some couples that I learn from bc I admire what they do. Then there are others who I learn from bc I see them as a cautionary tale.

His reaction to her opening up is PURE NARSISTIC response. Turn everything around and make it all about him. He's not even able to acknowledge her vulnerability.

Interesting that so far no mention of him helping a bit more with the chores or the children. Also when she said "we got pregnant" it was like I was walking down the street and the pregnancy hit me. I get it that late 30s is considered "geriatric pregnancy" but a bit more time to find your balance may have been warranted. I see women all the time that as type A they go into child rearing as if it is just another check off to do item and are then overwhelmed, angry and resentful when in addition to their prior earning role they are expected to be the care giver. I chose not to have kids and I have so many friends that tried to convince me otherwise saying it was "selfish". I can list 3 that self-medicate on a daily basis with wine and other crutches. I learnt a long time ago parenting is typically equated with sacrifice mostly on the part of the mothers, thanks but I will always be in my selfish era.

Just wondering if he had been celebrating and congratulating her for making 20k a month for years? I think it’s resentment on her behalf. Like why congratulate hime for making 17k once when he has never congratulated me once for making 20k a month for years that allowed him to focus on him and be able to start a business of his own

Providing doesn't only mean financially...

I remember when my first baby weaned off of breastfeeding. after about two days I found myself crying in a little ball on the bathroom floor. My boyfriend came in and picked me up and hugged me for the longest time until I came back, I didn't even know where those emotions came from. It was like emotionally and physically my body was in shock from loosing that connection I had with my kid. I felt so bad about myself, the feeling of worthlessness was so real. The emotions we go through as new mothers and also during pregnancy have to be listened to by ourselves and by our partners.

Out of all the videos I have watched, this one really was poignant. The young lady seemed pained. This series is less about money and more about relationships. One thing I see in alot of the videos is that the couples seem to have enough “money”, but money is not the root of the problems.

Holy shit, Drake wants a gold star and a bloody party every single achievement. And Kara needs to be a perfect housewife - - but still bring in money so they can still live comfortably.

When Kara said she insisted on cloth diapers and then later she said she had to make her daughters food for school despite the school providing food and birthing at home, I figured it was control issues. She's feeling so out of control in her daily life, she's choosing other things to be in control of. She's lost her identity and is trying to create "perfect mom" as her new one. I feel for her. I was recently laid off from a job and didn't realize how much I'd used my career as my identity. I hope she can find some grace for her to just be Kara and know that's enough and she will never be perfect. If she can give herself grace, then she can give Drake grace as well. With that, I hope Drake will step up in caring for his family and leave his pride and toxic masculinity behind.

My question is, how does he celebrate her accomplishments?

Great podcast I loved the way you navigated it! Imo I don’t think it’s as much of a money problem as it is a relationship problem.

Did anybody else almost chocked when he described his dad and Ramit asked him if he felt that way and he said yes? or was it just me?

Drake, you want to feel like a man? Then BE ONE.

You know what the issue is? My man talks the talk about being the most masculine person. But it is so incredibly fragile.... his masculinity depends on his wife and his surroundings. He has to put people beneath him to feel masculine. That is the weakest kind of masculinity that I can think of. My man, time to grow up.

She’s a Queen, she’s missing a King. If he doesn’t see how bad this is.. oof.

He married a woman he DOESN'T LIKE

Shes making so much excuses for him, and shes not speaking her mind /facts. He's a professional bser

Poor Kara. Hes manipulative and hiding behind “masculinity” to gaslight his partner. I hope he reads this/

Ive been binging these... Why is it so common for women to take on the full mental load? This and the last 2 I've watched just have such woman-driven relationship dynamics.

Is this the one where this dude who made 17k wanted his wife who makes 20k to give up her business so she can wash his crappy underwear? They make 37k between them. Why can't they just hire a maid? Oh because maintaining is more important to him this his wifes welfare. He made 17k one time and she makes 20k consistently.....divorce him....he's will lead you right into poverty. A woman should never give up her financial independence because of gender roles. What happens when this dude decides he no longer wants to take care of a family? She ends an impoverished single mother

Dang he used her heartfelt admission as amo. Listen I think I hated my husband after I had my first kid. He (and I) just couldn't understand why I was so mad at him ao much of the time. Its all the things Kara said. He eventually heard me and things are so much better. We go at things like a team. Its so hard to celebrate your spouses' win when it feels like you the primary everything. In other words find out why healthy lunches are important and just start making them so you can both have fun on the 4th of July

In Finland we have this saying "ei lasta eikä paskaa" and that seems to be what that "husband" is producing... (translation: "no baby nor shit" , meaning all the "effort" he has don't produce enough outcome)

Wow! Ramit is so good! Soo soo good facilitating the discussion and getting to the root of issues. Well done to the guest for being so open and vulnerable. I always learn so much from each episodes. I see great qualities and qualities to work on and how actions, thoughts and mindset can make another person feel.

WOW…. This episode is absolutely sad… I am no doctor but Drake is clearly exhibiting narcissistic tendencies… this poor woman is screaming out and he is only concerned with himself … I am cringing the entire time. I hope and pray they find peace , understanding and happiness … god bless

OK, this seems wrong. He made $17K for one month, and she's been puling $20K months at a time. Now they have 2 kids under 2 and all he can talk about is sleeping in, feeling emasculated, and needing a maid. When is he going to help with the kids that he made? When does she get to sleep in? Cara, can't tell you what to do, but it seems that you need to put this man child in your rearview. If he could have made $17K once, he could have been doing it this whole time, but he seems to resent you. I know what it feels like when this happens. Not says it will happen but in my case, as part of his resentment toward me, cheating came into the picture which made everything worse. Good luck on it all.