00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
@ramitsethi - regarding kids and finances that you touched upon in this video, my 8-year-old enjoyed watching your Netflix series and this past weekend we did something regarding taking living our rich lives to the next level... relating to a hotel upgrade! LOL. I want to email or message you about it but didn't know which would be the best avenue to do so, where you might actually see it.
@@IrisP989 that was my point. Hcol areas this isn't reasonable. So yeah it's a great thing for people living in my rural areas but not so much for urban people
She doesn’t want to be like her mother because her mother said they didn’t have the money when she was a child. Now her parents have the money to give her 100k for a down payment. The reason her parents have the 100k now is because they said no when she was a child. She doesn’t seem to make that connection.
Why do so many parents seem to think its a bad thing to say no to their kids? Giving kids every single thing they want is what is damaging. Teach them delayed gratification. Sets them up for a much happier and successful life.
Because they don’t want to look like the “bad parents”. Plus most kids don’t understand keeping family business in the house. Let a friend ask why their parents didn’t buy/pay for something, guaranteed the friend tells their parents and news of “money problems” will spread like wildfire. That’s MY opinion.
@@nomaam5891Saying no to your kids sometimes and teaching them about prioritization doesn't make you a bad parent - on the contrary, it makes you a *good* parent. A bad parent raises their kids to be unprepared for life, and narcissistic.
I have no children so I might be out of touch here, but I can still speculate 😂 Children might compare what they have and learn̈ the "keeping up with the Joneses" from their parents. Are the shoes from a cool brand or the cheap ones? Where did you go on vacation? Why aren't you in the soccer team? Etc.
Our kids know that we do not compare ourselves to others and that we beat to our own drum. We focus on abundance, gratitude and doing kind acts for others. I’m hopeful that these early taught life lessons will make a difference for my 6 and 8 year old.
My parents gave us 7K for a wedding, and we spent 4. I wrote a check back to my parents for the 3K and they told us to keep it to help us get started in life. We are celebrating 22 years of marriage next month. ❤ I don’t think anyone was overly impressed by our wedding, but I’m completely comfortable with that fact and somehow life has been great despite it! 😅
Exactly..we spent $50 for gold bands each. $50 for registration. $100 for dresses. Then waited to save up for $5k for an entire year to go for our NYC honeymoon. Married 15 years!
The cost of the wedding has nothing to do with the quality of the marriage. Ours was under 5k and we’re still happy 13 years later. If you want a big wedding and can afford it, great. It isn’t a requirement though.
I have several friends who are in their 50s, kids in college, and their parents need help financially. They are supporting themselves, their children, AND their aging parents. I wish parents of young kids could wrap their heads around the importance of saying no to their children in favor of their own financial security. We’re really not doing our children any favors if we buy them gifts and trips at the expense of our retirement savings.
@@lindaanderson1016 so true. Kids don’t need all the stuff and gadgets. They’re not deprived if they’ve never been to Disney. We’ve said no to our children a lot. We rarely say, “we can’t afford it,” we say, “that’s not how we want to spend our money.” That shift in perspective is important-it communicates to them that we’re in control of our money and we can choose how to spend it.
It is not unusual in many communities. The parents tend to live with the working couple and their children. It gives the working couple built in childcare and the older couple often cooks, and are available to pick up the kids. I think this is a good arrangement. and is one that was widespread in the us until the end of WW2.
Honestly, it feels like they are taking their parents for granted. My parents gave me their life savings when I turned 30 as a gift, but I never took used it for myself. Instead I just invested that money and considered myself the custodian of their money instead (I basically didn't need that money anyways, as I make more than enough to pay for myself). I now use that investment to pay for their many vacations and living expenses (since they are retired now, I want them to go on a good vacation a few times a year). They're retired, and I think they deserve it. I would never leech off of them like this couple, and take them for granted or "rely" on their inheritance, as I think its just as bad as my parents seeing me as their retirement plan (which they admittedly do) I don't see them as burdens though, as I'm more than grateful to my parents. Instead of seeing it as a responsibility or some filial piety or moral obligation, I see this more as a gift and appreciation of thanks for being good parents, and I genuinely want them to see more of life and experience more things. And let me tell you, this is a pretty big mindset change. But I guess I'm lucky my parents raised me this way, and that they weren't crap parents. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I think its pretty bad that she seems to see her parents wealth and inheritance as a safety net, and I feel like she's a bit ungrateful to them.
Sorry guys. We"re 50 with no savings is completely different from we have $500k in retirement, $15k in savings & live in a $750k house. Ramit needs to bring on someone who is actually 50 with no savings
Someone who's 50 with no savings can't really be helped. Unless Ramit snaps his fingers and makes money appear, what advice can he actually give? You need finances to require financial advice
I appreciate the fact that they came on and tell all their numbers But they are full of stories : Kate … I am a minimalist , when I was young , I fell we never had enough money while her parents generously gave 30k for wedding 100k for the house. However , their generosity is not helping but probably hurting Drew: I can do whatever we want with money … that’s not the case for 99% of people. We are have some restrictions The people who can do whatever they want .. naturally they don’t. They are usually frugal
Note to admin/editors- the sound editing is getting more terrible with the recent videos. When Ramit cuts in with his after-recording comments, his voice is so loud, I need to lower the volume. Then when it cuts back to the recorded couple, the sound is so soft that I need to turn up the volume again. This constant switching and changing the volume is so annoying and a real turn off. Can you please make sure the volume is consistent!?!
I point it out because it's me. I'll buy a plane ticket impulsively but panick if my husband buys a bagel on the "wrong card" I really relate with this couple.
That's insightful! Also, the other person refusing to engage with money can cause the money manager to take desperate measures, and they may not be good.
@@gomezdiana84 it’s interesting right? It’s a co created dynamic, dude isn’t passive by choice perhaps, but rather because his wife has something to PROVE and he wants to give her the space to succeed, to the eventual detriment of all
Really glad Ramit did the "cut in" at the end to explain things more, because the way it was edited, I was unsure why he was so frustrated with this couple. It makes more sense to know that 3 hours of the conversation was edited out.
@@isiah675 Even if I had 100k I wouldn't earmark that for my kid. I love him too much to gift him $100k for just being my son. The single worst thing you can do for your kids is give them money for no reason.
This couple is so unrelatable--everyone's acting like they have nothing but they are making 200k/year (with incredible benefits + bonus income opportunities over the summer), they get 6 figure gifts from the bank of mom and dad, and ultimately have a net worth that's 3x the median for people in their 50's (and she's closer to 40!). It's exceedingly difficult to empathize with them.
Agreed, and the headline that "We have no Savings" is so false with them having a $750 house, $500K in retirement investments, and $15k in savings and nearly a million dollar net worth. They're not even close to the average family. They just need to reign in their spending like anyone spending beyond their means, but they have quite a safety net.
Incredibly unrelatable, to the point, I don't really care about them (as its hard to sympathize). Its not that interesting, because they have such huge safety nets, and a 1 million dollar net worth.... I though they were net worth negative 480K. Not net worth positive 1 million AFTER a 480K debt. Honestly feels ungrateful that she is viewing her parents kind of like a bailout source.
Great unpacking and packing, that 401 K double match … ! I don’t see the source of terror since they have great incoming income … and family support Nice case study !
The video is not about their actual finances, it is about their money psychology and how it has been messing with them. Yeah I'd love to see some lower income and a poorer couple too, makes it more realistic. But the main key-takeaway is about their money psychology and I feel you're missing the point by not looking at that.
The circumstances surrounding the house are insane: Parents push her to get a house he doesn't want so they do it anyway, parents give $100K down payment, they spend $500K (!!) on renovations. How does any of this make sense? It's also interesting how she talks about money while growing up. She says it was painful and she doesn't want that for her kids. Wonder what was painful about it when it seems like the parents have done a lot (financially) for her as an adult.
In fairness to the parents, they urged the couple to buy a house in a market where a house is >400k and gave the couple 100k as a down payment thereby reducing that cost by 25% or more and making the cost to the couple >300k. It was the couple’s absolutely insane 500k renovation, which the parents didn’t have anything to do with, that transformed the house purchase from a reasonable to an unreasonable financial proposition.
@@jhgh2000 Omg, half a million for a home reno feels insane but I know it's not... It just feels like a shame because they were set up so well on that front if they were willing to take renos slowly and save up for things that they wanted...
Lots of parents are control freaks. Including financially. Not saying that's the case here, I don't know. But I know people who didn't want kids but realized their parents would shower them with cash if they did have kids, so they had the kids.
I’m so confused they are spending $550 on homeopathy and we are arguing over $125 for kids soccer this is where you massage the CSP for what is important.
That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about this couple. Anyone that is spending $500 a year on placebo sugar pills isn't a rational individual.
trusting allopathic medicine doesn't mean you're a rational individual. It just indicates you follow authority. Lots of homeopathic treatments are effective, and the way you snap to judgement about the type of medical care they use doesn't make you look rational, it makes you look like a well trained sheep.
@@--..__ Exactly zero homeopathic treatments are effective. You are correct that just because someone uses normal medicine doesn't mean they are rational, but if you do use homeopathic medicine, it *does* mean you are irrational. That is to say, not using homeopathic medicine is a necessary, but not sufficient condition.
@slmay3484 She sounds like A LOT was done. Idk how much was really necessary. Recently my parents got some repairs/renovation done in the bathroom. That stayed four digits. They didn't do more although they don't like the old tiles, because they heard that others spent 20k or 30k. The whole house is good but an "80% solution" (I recently heard "Pareto Home" 😂 ) instead of the dream house so the renovation also are 😂. Fix what's broken or annoying.
I really don't understand how that's possible on a $350k house. I would have put the house on market as is and cut my losses before I dropped a half million dollars.
As a parent, yes, I want my child to have the world. As a reasonable person, I know that's not possible all the time. When I have to say no, I need to explain my 7 y/o that we're not poor, but spending that money won't allow for us to do other things she really wants to do in the future. Guess what, she understands completely and is ok with the temporary sacrifice.
This couple has had one of the more positive follow-ups than a lot of the more recent couples. I think that should really be applauded and I'm happy for them now working as a unified force. It took some time to get there, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel!
9:02 I’ve never heard of a $100k down payment assistance from parents. And this is even additional assistance from previous assistance?? Her parents are wildly rich yet she threw away $525k on renovations
She mentioned how she felt bad and deprived about money growing up. If her parents said yes to her all the time, they probably wouldn't have had 100K to give her later.
We had a young single woman buy one of our family homes. She was a grad student and we couldn’t figure out how she could afford a 4/2.5 SFH in a nice area. Turns out Grandma hooked her up. That woman was a spoiled brat. She was so entitled that she had the cable company come and try to shut off our service to set hers up before we had even left the house and signed at closing! My old neighbor told me she had mental issues, didn’t care for the house, and eventually sold it for a loss.
We were gifted a very generous amount from both our parents to the amount of 115k.... but we also had saved up our own 100k.... we bought a nice but modest first house (450k in late 2022) so the large down payment brought our loan down to 235k at 6.63% (hoping rates lower soon) which made our mortgage only slightly higher than our rent had been which has freed up a significant amount of our housing budget. I cant thank them enough and regularly still voice our appreciation to them for helping us stay close to them physically (we had been seriously planning on moving 5 hours away where houses were more within our price range without any assistance) I never felt entitled to this and never planned on it.. but we are so grateful to them because we love our house and love the area we live and love our parents
I received 68k for down payment in 2012 (20% down payment). My sister received 200k for her down payment (also 20%) when she purchase her home in 2021. We also received early inheritance of 250k but stipulation we have to buy investment homes. Which we did. My parents weren’t well off but they want the best for their kids. They gave us everything for what they saved up for 25 years. We are very conscious of how we have to grow that funds so we can help them repay them. They never want it back.
Excellent follow-up! I struggled to watch this episode and was frustrated with this couple, but the honesty at the end was worth it. Some of the commenters here have completely missed the point of this podcast because they think it's a show about fixing finances. What they don't seem to realize is that people with high incomes aren't always happy because they have no purpose or vision in their lives. The commenters get stuck on the word "rich" because they think it means having money instead of having depth, flavor, joy, meaning, and passion (a rich chocolate cake isn't filled with money). The commentors also seem to ignore the word "conscious" in relation to the spending plan (not a budget!). If you don't pay attention to where your money goes and especially if you spend it on things that have no meaning or bring joy, then what's the point of the money? No money and tons of money will make you feel the same because there's no vision with a plan to get there. Money is the tool, not the goal. I think the biggest thing some commenters are missing is that smart people with high incomes have trouble with finances, not because they're not smart or rich but because they turned on autopilot and let society and upbringing decide what their lives should be instead of taking ownership of their own destiny. That applies to every income bracket and every economic market.
How on earth can people come on Ramit's show without reading his book!? Kind of rude. I read it in a single afternoon. Also, "dire" seems kind of dramatic for their situation. They still have a lot of years to work and grow their retirement savings. They're not at $0.
It’s easy to feel frustrated and annoyed by the behaviors of this couple. However, I made many of the same mistakes in my first marriage. The biggest mistake was abdicating too much responsibility to my wife who frankly wasn’t capable of handling it. I lacked boundaries and discipline to hold myself and her accountable. She was a spendthrift and I was focused on putting her and the kids at the center of my life. After 12 years it finally all came to a head and ended. Ultimately I can only blame myself for being blinded by a fictional version of our situation and a coward once I realized what I needed to do to fix it. Having to start over is a real pain but at least now I’m more aware of what I want and how to keep it from going to shit.
2 million in retirement plus their house and social security.. also $200k is gross right? I don’t think they’re in THAT BAD of a spot with their retirement numbers..
Assuming they both stay healthy and don’t need to outsource caregiving for a long while (if ever) they are good. But if someone gets sick young or needs long term care, the person left behind might be in a pickle. Also people being people as the kids get older they are going to spend more on them (college, graduate school, cars and weddings). They CAN change and get in a better place in the next 20yrs if they are diligent.
One idea to to ask Kate’s parents to fund or partially each kid’s sports as a Christmas gift. Instead of spending $8k on Xmas, make pine cone ornaments as gifts. Be honest with all about attacking a financial hardship.
Kate kept saying money was painful when she was a child … if her parents did not restrict when she was a child. I can guarantee there is no money now for her wedding /house down payment vacation
Hey Ramit, great show as always. When you come in on your solo shots (different from when you're interviewing the couple) the microphone is LOUD. Much louder than when you're interviewing the guests. Please make sure your editors keep the audio levels consistent. Thanks!
These people need a simple Ramsey solution. Get on a budget, work more, pay debt. The sad thing is the stress in their lives is completely unnecessary. They’re over complicating their finances.
I swear some people have all the opportunity and support in the world and they mess it up. I wish I had parents like that to help me out once and a while.
New rule: you have to read the book before coming on the show lmaoo. Also, the call with them lasted 4 hours???? i feel we got nowhere. although, I got to say their follow up was really detailed so it kind of makes up for it :)
looking at their numbers in an annual format gives her a very convenient excuse for overspending. i think the monthly numbers would bring her face to face with the facts. its like someone on a calorie restricted diet only counting the number of meals they eat, not what the meals actually consist of.
It also means she only has to be held accountable once a year rather then monthly. "Maybe next year will be better". Keeps them from making immediate adjustments
@@twlight9000 It's in quotation marks, doesn't mean it's a direct quote. They did say the $15k wasn't an emergency fund, it was for expenses they were about to have or something, and they had no emergency fund.
This is not a financial problem by any means. Here’s my take: When they started dating, she was impulsive and he saved. Before marriage, that’s fine. Go be impulsive with your own money while you are single. After marriage, finances get combined and it’s striking that he didn’t want to buy the condo and the house and she just went ahead and did it without him agreeing. The number one rule for couples should be to agree on a decision first and then take action after agreement. If there is disagreement, then talk about it and find a place where both agree but NEVER do something when you know your partner doesn’t agree with this course of action. Deep down, he thinks that he never wanted to buy the condo, the house and do all the renovations and all this debt is imposed on him and as such, he is not responsible for this mess so he acts like it. Any couple can make poor financial decisions but they do it together. This couple did it apart from each other. What’s to say they come up with a plan and she gets impulsive again NOT WITH SPENDING, but with taking action without him agreeing!!!
I can't imagine they spent 500k on reno and they aren't underwater on the house. Ramit didn't show him pushing back on the house valuation, if they have had an actual appraisal.
Ramit, I think that was one of the best sets of followups ever. In their case 4 weeks does not make a fullsome trend, but their attitudes have taken a great turn for the better. Well done sticking with them until the end and pushing hard for exposing the elephant in the room.
I know parents that are giving their daughter and her soon to be husband a set amount for the wedding. They also told them they could keep any money left over. This wedding couple is making some choices about the wedding that will result in them putting a lot of money in their pockets to launch their lives together. Smart couple.
Our budget for the wedding was 10,000 we spent 9,500. The next day we brought everyone out to brunch. Just a smidge under budget at the end- about a hundred bucks left in the account.
In my church we gift the member couple alot of services and the venue. The coordinator helps them plan, work with in their budget. Help one another, bear one another's burdens. This is Christlike.
When Ramit said phrases like “you don’t have time, times up, you are not 25 anymore” that kinda triggered them. But hey, Ramit NEEDS to be the bad cop here. Someone needs to tell them that and just be brutally honest with them.
I find it interesting that she is the one in charge of money and is constantly accusatory, but she seems the more problematic one from where I'm standing. And it all comes down to how they talk, he "wants the kids to be happy" and "not say no" she clearly judges, but then she's the one who spends 8k on christmas. Her actions and her words/tone are completely discrepant
I was waiting for this comment/Ramit to call this out. She's the driver of the major overspending, he was a historical saver and frugal, spending less than he made. He wants to do the same thing he's always been doing, but because she's running wild with MAJOR MAJOR expenses, so he is having to say no to french fries with the kids (while bringing in $200k/yr)???? Something tells me he didn't want to spend $55k on the wedding. She straight up said he didn't want to buy the house, but she and her parents pushed them to. He tried to keep the renovation costs down doing what he could himself, she went out and hired a contractor when it wasn't like immediately done (and a bad one at that apparently). Her tone as the person controlling the finances places way more blame on him than he seems to have earned. And ... Ramit was fairly harsh on him for being checked out and letting her shoulder the emotional weight of the debt situation. I'm not saying he should be oblivious or ignore it, but she's the one that put them there, and she's not earning anything to help them get out of it. She probably should feel more emotional toll from it. edit: Plus she's "a stay at home mom and home school teacher" according to the intro, but "home school" was listed as an expense on the CSP, so what exactly is that expense? Shouldn't a home school teacher have effectively zero expenses related to that?
I am in shock they spend 8K on x-mas with two kids. Like where the F does the 8K go to? I have 2 kids and never spend more than$1,000 on gifts for my kids, husband and entire extended family!
Probably the best possible ending. I’m glad Ramit was willing to call it quits. They (initially) just wanted hand holding all the way and do none of the work.
Another person crushed by a calendar/events….Christmas, birthdays, “events” etc are constant, you can’t pretend to be surprised by them. Their net worth would look dramatically different without that $100k seed from the parents
$8k on Christmas! Like what are you buying? I can't imagine spending more than $500 per kid on Christmas. $1k if we are feeling REALLY good with our numbers. At some point you're just getting them a bunch of junk. Have them make a list of 5 things they really want then pick from that list based on your budget.
In short: They want to be debt free, have savings, and be good at money but can't tell their kids no. Makes no sense..and yes I'm a parent. My parents told me no all the damn time...not saying no to your kids leads to entitlement which will hurt them in the long run if they don't learn the hard lessons now.
I used to take my son to the library and other times to Barnes and Noble so we could read and spend quality time together. Every now and then I would buy him a book for his Star wars collection. I also used to look for free sports activities at church like Upward. I used to pay $35 for the uniform, pictures and gym use.
Wow. I was a single mom and the things this couple expects themselves to give to their children is terrifying to me. But I'm equally scared for this couple's parents.I just hope they have enough for themselves before being generous to their kids
Hot take but if I had parents/family who could easily bail me out in an emergency, I'd be tempted to get my debt in a good place before focusing on my own emergency fund.
My wife and I went into debt twice and out of debt twice. The second time I began educating myself with David Ramsey and then as the debt got paid off I read and learned more about investing . I read and listened to Paul Merriman, RU-vid, and Bogle heads resources. I began maxing my retirement savings and living off 50% of my after tax income. I am 55 and I have no debt and a net worth 31x our living expenses. Our expenses budget is adjusted yearly and I use the mean household income for the USA which has worked pretty well for us for the last ten years or more. My income is roughly twice our expenses and that has been consistent.
The problem here is Kate. Drew didn't want to buy either house. Drew earns $200k a year. Kate is clueless and wants to only blame Drew except for "I'm impulsive with money". Oh MAN is she self absorbed. Hey Kate, get a job and take some responsibility. Stop blaming Drew, it's not him, IT IS YOU!
This seems pretty reductive to their situation, Kate has had the complete mental load of the finances and self admits that she's drowning. Not to mention, the fact that they are is a better spot working as a team means that the solution is being a unified force. Drew admits he's been absent in these decisions, putting too much pressure on Kate, causing a bad dynamic. They both played a part in their past mistakes, Kate's are just more 'noticeable' since she was set up as the fall guy by being solely in charge of the money.
@@twlight9000her spending habits have always been, daddy will pay the bill, even in her "Matronly" role, she's constraining his spending, but not her credit enabled christmas splurges. so it's a reductive take because the answer is simple, and accurate.
@@saeedhossain6099 But she's not constraining his spending, he knows they can't afford it yet he sends a frowning text with their son in order to absolve himself of the guilt. I actually don't think we have drastically different opinions on this couple, Kate 100% overspends and is contributing to the problem. I just don't think its fair to absolve Drew of all wrong doing since he admits hes been asleep at the wheel for all of it as well.
@@twlight9000 so we're skipping over the large fries anecdote that is the backbone of Ramit's tutting that he's the adolescent in the relationship...... and it underpins your own analysis.
@@saeedhossain6099 I actually think the fries situation falls into what I said earlier - Kate's are just more 'noticeable' since she was set up as the fall guy by being solely in charge of the money He knows they have no money. Why send a picture frowning with their son to get permissions about fries? While I think he should have 'fun money' allocated for fries, it doesn't change that she was being setup as the bad guy having to say "no" when he is capable of "being the bad guy" himself.
They have all the options to sell their house (if its really that much worth), rent a smaller apartment, send the children to school and have her got to work ... and pay off all the debt in the process. But I guess that is not convenient for her.
I appreciate your candor with this couple, I was frustrated, with especially her, 10 minutes in, she was looking for a quick fix. Their way to fix this isn’t that hard, they have enough resources with some consistency to get themselves in a good financial place. They did come to self realization near the end.
People are allergic to spreadsheets, this is an easy solve with plopping the numbers in and seeing what the smoothed income&expenses are. Mind blowing how difficult people make this
If she has siblings, I hope her parents treat them equally. It's horrible to be the sibling that makes good decisions, watching your parents throwing money at your irresponsible sibling.
Kate "I feel guilty about the decisions WE made". Um no, that would be the decisions YOU made, Kate. I sincerely doubt Drew overspent your wedding budget.
I think Ramit needs a reality check himself in what is a dire financial situation. This is far from dire. His level of frustration was surprising. This couple doesn’t need big changes. There’s work to be done to get them both aligned on a vision and financial plan. There’s social security or a pension for him as a teacher and she’ll get a spousal benefit. That’s another $30-40k a year. Nobody needs to replicate their paycheck in retirement, they need to cover their expenses.
Ramit, your conscious spending plan is the same concept as a budget. A budget, done properly, is forward looking and keeps you focused in your already-defined priorities. Same as your conscious spending plan. It’s the same thing!
Fix this. Put aside some money until savings hit $20k. Then, throw every available cent towards the heloc until its done. Keep the investing and matching. Cut homeopathy, cut subscriptions and they will be out of heloc in 3 years. No clothes, no ski, no vacations, no Christmas gifts for 3 years. They can get out of the hole.
Have the same thought. Don't understand why that didn't come up at all, especially when she mentioned how much it had appreciated. Sell the house, take a couple hundred grand in proceeds, dump it in the marke, work 10 more years, and problem solved. (And, yes, they need to reign in their spending and increase communication; really happy to see they are on that path now).
She's a teenager that is chasing happiness through keeping up with something you can never catch. He has checked out mentally beaten down by her behavior and probably that she runs to mommy and daddy to get her way. They look like brother and sister or cousins too. I love people like these that keep the stock market going through their insane consumerism.
There are no healthy boundaries or limits here and we all need them. As long as they have her parents with an open wallet to hit as they want, they can not get out of this mess. IF they want to make changes, they need to go cold turkey with the old people's cash!
Looking at this couple and Ramit, he noticed something. That you cant teach hungry. This couple was hungry to change their financial situation because it hasnt been working. They just didnt have direction on how to change it. I know it mostly came down to read book and meet weekly, but Drew still needed that wake up call on how bad things are for his family. And using humor as a coping mechanism wasnt helping his wife or himself. He may not retire at 65, he may be pushing retirement off until 68 or even later to make sure that he does have enough.
34:50 when he says "it would really hurt ME" to know the full financial picture as though that excuses placing the full emotional burden on his wife 🤦🏻♀️ and men wonder why we're not ok
I think her husband is leaving the money management to her cause she’s the one driving the large spending and wrecking the finances. “If you break it, fix it”
I agree. When he does voice his opinion, she does what she wants anyway. She bought TWO different houses that he didn't want to buy... And then the man couldn't have french fries? 😬 Yeah. He needs to be heard.
Ramit, I am so grateful for episodes like this. As you often say, this sort of couple is like a crystal ball into the future of how my family could be. It’s inspirational to see them make so many changes now, and especially lights a fire in me to make changes NOW, before I’m them in about a decade.
The episode illustrates well that how people feel about money and their relationship with money is only loosely related to their current financial status. A lot of the comments say this couple has so much in investment and retirement and they have parents that provide financial support etc. etc. It's easy to say others should be happy with their situation or that their problems aren't so big. It's true that there's real variation in how bad problems are, but the subjective suffering people feel at any size problem is also real to them. People can commit suicide over financial stress even if they have more net worth than 95% of the population. This couple was obviously very stressed about money, especially Kate. It makes sense - if I'd witnessed myself overspending all my life and getting myself into expensive debt, I'd be anxious all the time too
If they are reading the comments: instead of only putting half toward repaying it, another route with the HELOC is to stop making ANY additional payment for a few months to build up an emergency fund, and then switch back to throwing it at the HELOC
The common denominator with this podcast is that couples with good incomes that are behind the curve are making unthoughtful and rash decisions, then burying their heads in the sand. It happens at all income levels, but with a high income you have a bigger shovel to dig yourself out once you acknowledge the mistake(s). This couple will be fine if they spend the next 10 years staying on the right track, but it will require a lifestyle readjustment.
Most of the comments are about “these guys are not poor”… for me anyone in the US is NOT really poor. This guys are a cautionary tale about the damage that parents do. Subsidies hardly work -as a leftwing It hurts to admit it-
Drew, take over the finances - it will be painful but you will be SO much better off and it will be LESS painful than having Kate continue to dig you into a hole you can't dig out of.
38:45 is a fantastic idea for a financial podcast if you know a kid that's funancially inclined. That sounds amazing as, like, a once a month special edition since kids can be so blunt and straightforward. I wonder if anyone has done that before? And i wonder if there are ethics considerations around involving a child in other people's finances. Would they be considerate enough not to spread rumors and judgment about the interviewees to their peers?
