“Why did you hate working in the hospital?” 

Your stories has helped me lots to be less scared of death and believing that there is an afterlife

I'm waiting for my paycheck to land!

Hello I have a very simple question that has a big curiosity behind it is there a difference on a person when they have lived a good life versus when I have lived a bad life?

Pre-ordered it! I love your stories ❤

Being Mortal and The Conversation,both books by doctors, should be mandatory reading for families facing end of life challenges.

My grandma was too! She sadly coul hold it anymore and couldn't open her eyes eat or drink because she couldn't swallow but she fell asleep and passed that night

Its truly a beautiful thing🙏🏼❤️

We did that too , my grandpa begged and cried for months that he didn’t want to die in a hospital room where we all couldn’t gather around to see him. So we did hospice. You could tell it was a good thing for him. He looked like he was so much better and felt like he wasn’t suffering from his cancer.

Hospice was very kind to us when he passed. They sent our family flowers once we got him back from the crematorium.

@@raynaakuma9981 it gives you more time to get to know them better and focus on your relationship instead of just the health for us Some of my best memories of her are when she was on hospice. Fly high.

they probably addressed it but the family makes the selfish decision ....as if the mom is never going to die...

@@emmib1388 Every single day

It was probably addressed. Sometimes people WANT everything done.

And then there are the families who haven't had contact with a family member whose health has declined drastically due to chronic illness. The patient gets an acute illness, and the family hasn't been clued in by anyone and suddenly has to make a decision in the ER. Hospice care includes guidance and compassion.

The family doesn't always decide on DNR no matter how much they are educated. I had a 90 year old last week who was a full code and I prayed we didn't have to code her. It would have been traumatizing for everyone involved.

❤ sending love. i’m so so sorry for your loss.

My Condolences💔.

Special, or hardened?

​@MaryRosebud Special. My girl is a hospice nurse. Every patient that passes takes its toll, but she realizes that she is able to help make their funal moments as fulfilling as possible. Often she will make special food for them, or try to fulfill a final request. She also realizes that she's there for the family. They need someone to help guide them through the process of losing a loved one. A good hospice nurse is special, and is truly a blessing for the patient and their family.

All of my interactions with hospice workers have been positive. All I can think is they must all have strong faith that they are just guiding the person back out of this life and into Eternity after their brief stay here. ❤️

​@@MaryRosebudBoth maybe? They don't usually tend to be the mean girl nurses in hospice. I mean, jerks are in all places but certain occupations tend to pull them more than others. All the people I've met who worked hospice cared very deeply, and often had some traumatic experience with the death of a loved one that made them want to go into end of life/death care. But they do tend to have hardened, wicked senses of humor. You can't do the job without being able to separate your feelings from the situation really well. I couldn't remain in emergency health care for that reason, I had a real knack for the knowledge part but emotionally I got too distraught watching people in pain and took those feelings home with me. I can't imagine how much harder that is when all of them are dying. Thick skin would be needed for sure.

Respiratory Therapist of 20 years….when I retired, I realized I had enough of seeing patients die. RT’s are always on the code team. Assisting with the intubation, helping to ventilate the patient and then managing the ventilator. We are the one who takes the patient off the ventilator when the patient is brain dead,or the Dr. writes the order and the family makes the decision to remove the brain dead patient from the ventilator. Often the family wishes to be at the bedside when the patient comes of the ventilator. I always explain to the family, how it will be done, how the patient ‘s color of skin will change, that they will not suffer as the brain no longer functions, due to not breathing. This is a very difficult time for the family. I tell them that they have made the hardest decision they’d will ever make, but that it is because they don’t want their loved family member to just exist, without real life. I offer a hug if they would like one. I give them time to pray or saying goodby to the patient. This a very tough time for them. It must done with care and love. I worked in every patient area and ER, there are patients and deaths and things I’ve seen that to this day make me tear up, as I will never forget that day or those patients. I loved my job, but I realized I had enough of seeing people die. I had to make those decisions for my mom, and now I face this time with my hubby. We had made our DNR decisions years ago, my hubby is in hospice, it’s the best decision for him. Tough for me. Bless all of you who face or have to make this decision.

No amount of money is going to buy back those patients lives, or the countless hours you brave people spend putting every ounce of yourself into. Anyone in the medical field is truly special, you do so much for people who may never see you again and throw yourselves into scarring scenarios to help others, from the bottom of my heart please take care of yourself.

I understand you. 35 years here

@@bakokat6982 it's an amazing thing you chose to do with your life, and quite a burden to bear now that you're in retirement. I spent a lot of my time in the hospital from an early age, all the way into my 20's, and it was the nurses who made all the difference to me during those times. I ended up addicted to pain medication, unfortunately, and it was a nurse who got me on the right track to recovery, also. The work you guys do is often overlooked and underpaid. I know you're facing a lot of struggle and heartache right now, but I hope you find peace.

@@bakokat6982 if you don’t mind me asking is your husband saved. I’ve never experienced death close to me until October 18th. It was my grandmother… she was also my mother too, she took care of me while my father worked during the day. The reason I ask if your husband is saved because it made it so much easier for me and my father along with the rest of the believers in the family to be at peace with my grandmother passing because we KNOW that if heaven is real she’s there. She was a big believer. I’m a judeo-Christian and I believe but I definitely have some doubts. I know my grandmother has some doubts because she would tell me she stayed awake until 3 or so in the morning scared to go to sleep. This went on for a long time. But the way she passed is she fell early Sunday morning at 3:30 getting out of bed to “make the bed up” as she told my aunt Bonnie who she lived with because she couldn’t live by herself. She had many strokes. a major one and countless mini strokes. Well she fell and hit her head. She was conscious but they couldn’t get to her because she fell up against the door so they had to call the ambulance to get her up. Well the paramedics checked her out, didn’t see nothing out of wack. But she did complain about a headache (what my aunt Bonnie told me I wasn’t there) the paramedic and my aunt Bonnie put her back in bed. Then at about 6:30 or so my aunt Bonnie heard something fall (it was the water from the bedside table) she was half on the bed half off, out, unconscious. She then fell to the floor or something because my aunt Bonnie said she specifically remembered looking back in there while she was on the phone with 911 (my cousin zack was there also trying to sit her up) but she said she looked in there and granny was “wrag dolled” out on floor. Well the ambulance took her to the local hospital. Still no consciousness or anything from granny.. they then flew her to Greenville NC to the hospital there. They did a CAT scan and her brain was so full of blood, the fall shifter her brain over. I don’t know how she was up when she first hit the floor. Because of her age and her being in blood thinners and along with her weight and many other things along with the severity of the brain bleed it was nothing they could do unfortunately. We immediately took her off life support once all the family got there to let it be in Gods hands. I felt deep down that granny wouldn’t want to be on that machine the doctor told us that even if she did wake up she would never move her limbs. Her pupils weren’t responding or anything or that was a sign it was no hope. She ended up passing away between 5:00-6:00 am Wednesday October 18th I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to force my beliefs upon you or your family, that is your choice. But I feel saddened by the passing of my grandmother but I’m also no glad or happy but content is what I’ll call it. I’m content with feeling deep down inside of me she is dancing and singing with a now beautiful angel voice (she wasn’t a beautiful singer but she tried and she liked too sing🤣❤️‍🩹) I am just too selfish to not feel saddened because I will *not* * be able to see her for a long time until it’s my time (hopefully no time soon I’m a young aspiring man) Just to be 10000% transparent. When I was saying my goodbyes before I left Tuesday night I was telling her how it was okay and how we all will be okay. And all that. Then I said “I will see you again granny, but hopefully not too soon” 🤣🤣❤️‍🩹

Thank you for what you do. ❤

We need people like you for these kinds of jobs thank you ❤

Thank you for doing what you do. A huge huge heart. We need you.

Jenna you’re an angel.❤

i’m so sorry for your loss. i remember when the hospital did that for my family before my grandmother passed, it means a lot but you’re never really ready. i obviously didn’t know your great grandma, but im sure she was a wonderful woman and is in a better place now. i hope you’re doing okay :]

@@non-corporealentity67 She was 94 thankfully so while any age always feels too early, it’s nice to know she lived a damn good life as well as a long one. Truly a celebration of life with the mourning. She was an absolutely amazing woman. RIP to your grandma as well, and the condolences are much much appreciated

sending love to you. ❤ so sorry for your loss

@@non-corporealentity67❤sending love. so sorry for your loss.

Most hospitals have a policy that when someone is near death they allow more than the normal max, usually they have a set number like 4 people but they don't mind letting more people as long as it isn't so many it's a safety issue.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss, I'm glad you had a shoulder to cry on

And you already on RU-vid watching shorts??

@@watchyourmouthbetch the internet has helped me heal from it and if it wasn't for things like this i probably wouldnt be strong now.

The doctor is the one making everything painless. Nurses cannot prescribe medication or make treatment decisions.

I hope you don't tell that to people with depression

They said sometimes, like when nothing can be done. Depression is treatable.

​@keroki932 💀💀💀 that's a totally different scenario but I'm taking that as a joke 😂

I mean like... the woman was full code. she didn't have a DNR. it would be against the law to not revive her.

@@keroki932 Why in the world would you even think of such a thing that she would eve tell someone that w/depression?? .. This is about ppl who are at the end of their life! .. Hospice vs hospitals!

Big misconception is the medicine kills them faster. I’m working with a hospice patient now who takes morphine for COPD it relaxes the lungs and thins secretions to let her breathe and she has family tell her not to take it to much. It’s insane

I work as a nursing assistant in a long-term care facility and I have to say that I am always so relieved whenever hospice decides to put one of my residents on morphine. It's sad because it means the end is near, but it's comforting knowing that the sweet old lady I've been watching suffer for over a year is finally allowed to start letting go.

Sometimes patients are given an overdose of medicine that 'accidentally' kills them?? What a confession!

​@jessyvalentine7492 so long as they have a DNR or have given their (or their caretakers) concent for the medicine, it should absolutely be allowed. If it's given without the responsible party's concent, that's 100% murder.

​@@jessyvalentine7492 that's because they care about the patient... not your egoistic need to see your family member awake till the end. I have several nurses friends and trust me, they care, they don't give medication just for fun but because they know.

I'm sorry for your loss.

@@16tangerines thank you 😊 ❤️

If it is true keep that personal shit to yourself please ,makes you look like an attention whore 🥱😊

@@victoriabarendregt3790 so insensitive of you to say

You were 16? So,,,wouldn’t that mean your mom was really young? Sorry for your loss, I wish cpr was taught in schools :(

Hands on experience has to occur somehow.

I get your point but that is what our work and training is all about... We have to start practicing things on the patients since the very beginning.. otherwise we wont be able to learn..

​@@pdub707And without practice like that you would be dead right now because no one would be able to learn. Learn humility. Arrogant fool

Don't think any nurse would use those exact words ... not in my 45 yrs of experience 😳

​@@pdub707How else do they get real experience? I'm pretty damn sure that practice dummies are a lot different than a person when it comes to practice.

This is something that took ages to get through my brothers head. He wanted mom full code and I tried explaining the realities of CPR and the aftermath. It took me caretakers and nurses to finally convince him DNR was appropriate.

What is hard is when the children understand, but grandma insists that she wants to be a full code and refuses to discuss the idea of DNR

I never would. I’m against DNR’s because I consider it to be morally wrong. My psychiatrist says a DNR is basically assisted suicide. I don’t care if I’m in pain, I would want to do everything possible to keep me alive. Them refusing pain meds though is just plain wrong. Only God should decide who lives or dies not doctors or patients.

@@tanya5322 it is entirely her right to do so! If she wants every ounce spent prolonging her life, she gets that. It’s hard on the other ppl but we don’t badger someone into making our life easier by cutting their life off. I am DNR but I would never convince someone who did not want to be.

​​​@@YeshuaKingMessiahAgreed! If the person is of sound mind they should absolutely be able to decide whether they want all the measures taken or none. If they aren't of sound mind I think that's another story and the spouse/next of kin needs to advocate for them and help decide what is best.

Right because when you truly love someone you truly love them even if you're PREPARED 😢 ..... I feel you

I’m so glad she lived

I major in nursing and this made my day. It gives me encouragement and determination to become a nurse like that, so thank you ☺️

Rest in peace so sorru ops

Why are y'all not reading the whole thing, her mother survived. People nowadays literally have an attention span of the size of a peanut.

Was it covid? I'm happy she survived for you and herself ❤ very strong woman to have made it through.

So glad she married a keeper. ❤️ Men get all hung up on caveman protect and provide, deciding they're worthless if they can't kill a mammoth with their bare hands or buy three mammoths, already killed and dressed, but *that* is protecting and providing, right there.

Rest in pewce so sorru ope

Your moms mom??? Dude… I do not mean to be rude but this was really confusing to read bc I thought you said your mom, not your moms mom and it’s like, JUST SAY YOUR GRANDMOTHER !!!! Bc that’s what she was!!!!! If she was your moms mother, that makes her & her husband YOUR GRANDPARENTS AND JUST *SAY THAT* !! Don’t tip toe around saying moms mom and her husband when it was your grandparents… like seriously?!?! 😟✋🏻 .

⁠@@Lori.jane08 **peace **sorry ***OP like damn, stay in school kiddo ! You def need it 🌝 .

@@allisonlacy3004if you can’t infer that her mom’s mom is her grandmother, you may be the one who needs high school 😢

Special People...indeed.❤

Thanks. I love being there to help them have things go exactly as they told me how they wanted things to go....it is so comforting to know they get to say what they want. And I'm very proud to make sure of it!!!!!!

😂 that would be lovely to have it in writing to show my husband occasionally 😜

I agree! I could never express how grateful I am for their help with my dad. They took care of everything, from equipment to medication to emotional support when he passed. They are amazing. I could never do that kind of work. Thank you, hospice nurses, for being there for families at the worst time of their lives.

No, they are not

That sounds dreadful… I mean , why didn’t your dad call the nurse?? So sorry

@@maggie4475 I’m not sure, I’ve never asked him

Oh how I relate. I'm sorry you had to experience that. My sister refused hospice because she was young and didn't accept she was dying. They were called in the final few hours and in her case with cancer she probably needed fentanyl. She didn't get what she needed and it was a traumatic death. As a caregiver I will never put myself in that position again. Hospice care is essential.

I commented something similar. Hospice nurses are angels but the actual process of death is ……? It will tear you apart.

❤

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your great grandma with us ❤

What a touching story. For my grandmother it was red roses… It’s a nice little reminder of them, isn’t it? Wishing you and your family all the best! 🌹

My uncle also died that year, december 12.

This is beautiful 🥹❤️ thanks for sharing

I hope you two will always be this close

You are both so blessed to have each other, and to appreciate it. me and my mom were the same-I’ve missed her since losing her seven years ago .I hate seeing so many take their parents for granted -they’re so lucky and don’t even know it -but you do -that’s very wise and I wish you both lots of happiness ahead. ❤

I feel this way too. 😢

I remember thinking the exact same thing and it bringing me to sobbing cries. Then it happened and I'm still in shock almost 3 years later. I'll never be okay with losing my mother. Cherish her as much as you can while you can. 😢❤

This is exactly how I feel, I hate to think about it

I to had this with my father, he was 65. He was begging for medicine. The doctors said no for almost two months. He was able to have the hospitality of hospice for 14 days. They were able to relax and take away the pain. The nurses were amazing not only for him but for me and my family. I am so sorry for your loss.

Not trying to be weird but what do you mean both scenarios?

@@cheyennev8881maybe one parent hospital other hospice

​@@cheyennev8881or the mother had both the hospital experience and the at home hospice experience...that happened with my dad he was brought back twice at the hospital and then came home on hospice and passed...for the third and final time

Why would that make u weird?

And I have seen decisions like "dialysis " not done because of lack of education. I talked to the 75 year old woman and she "wanted to live". She decided to go on dialysis and went on to live another 10 years even leaving the nursing home and going home to live independently in a senior living center. All because of misinformation. She was so sick because she needed dialysis.

​@@chary361 how long were you a nurse?

When my 90yo grandma had a stroke, my mother (her daughter) had everthing ready: patient's provision, AHCD, etc My grandma had detoriated into dementia. She was deaf. The stroke left her unable to communicate, she could only move her left arm, but not the hand... It was clearly stated that she didn't want feeding tubes, ventilators and so on...When we came back to the hospital the next day they had inserted a feeding tube. My mother insisted on taking it out and had to listen for nearly an hour to a M.D. how she would kill her mother and that she wouldn't care for her mothers well being before they took it out. The hospital dismissed my grandmother the next day because "they weren't allowed to treat her" Luckily my grandma had already a mobile nursing service and after my mothers desperate call, they calmed her down. Setting my grandma up to full time care and telling my mother where she could get a special bed for rent. My grandma died ten days later, peacefully at home, while her son was reading a story to her, she wrote herself...🥲

I agree. I've seen it happen to people I heard say they did not want anything done. But they are still doing cpr and even going beyond..... trying to put a pacemaker in them. That crushed me. I cried. They moved her fast to the bed. Her wig flew off and they began CPR. I'm telling them she told me she didn't want anything done. But they just did not listen to me. And I was young. It killed me to see that happen. So that is one of the first things I always ask and make sure the paperwork is done stating what their wishes are!!!!!!!...

@@Goaway624 That's so sad! In case of my grandma they had all these things. My mother saw with her own eyes when they put it into my grandmas case in the ER. When my mother saw the feeding tube, she asked about the papers and they said they didn't have any. But when my mom insisted on it they opened the case of my grandma and voilà there the papers are, right on the first side! 🤬

What if someone doesn’t want a DNR? I’m against them because I consider a DNR to be a death sentence. It’s basically assisted suicide according to my psychiatrist. Nobody should have the right to terminate their own life. That’s morally wrong. I wouldn’t want somebody to terminate my life. If someone signed a DNR without my consent I swear I would become a ghost and haunt them to their grave for terminating me 😂 I understand about CPR and all that but in my opinion, hospitals should give medication for the pain. That bullshit about meds slowing breathing is nonsense and an excuse for someone to suffer. I don’t care if I’m a vegetable I would want to be kept alive.

If the pt has a written DNR. They have to do as she has it written!!!

The problem is too many people don’t want to think about a living will until it’s too late. So most of the time it’s left to the family members. A lot of people don’t want to feel like they are giving up on their family members and will not understand the realities of what prolonging life would mean for someone who is not capable of healing. There is no easy answer for these situations and it often takes time for everyone involved to make peace with a decision unless the patient passes suddenly. I can’t express enough the importance for everyone to fill out a living Will if you can, while you can.

​@@erinw6813 I agree my late partner dead suddenly and I wish he had a living will so I could have at least followed his wishes

I work in peds/onc and these parents always "do all the things " instead of accepting the reality. There comes a time to just accept and ameliorate.

im so sorry for your loss :((

I used to feel differently. My first code/trauma was an 18yo new father that was in an accident. They allowed the parents in the room. I switched from chest compressions to airway and noticed we weren't suctioning blood anymore, but pink saline. He had bled out internally. When the dr called it the mother's screams were heard thru the ER. I always thought it was cruel for family to witness it. When my GPA passed, I was the only one who wanted to stay in the room. I thought I was helping by saying it was cruel bc of my experiences.

Thank you for taking the time to share this with all of us.

​@phoenixfire2578 yes and no, sometimes it's the only thing that will solidify the truth of the words coming from your mouth that the person they love is dead and gone. Those ones suck so much though, even rapid infusion does nothing at that point of bleeding out 😕

I'm an ED nurse too. Nothing teaches us compassion like the real life situations we have. I've had 4 PICC lines, meningitis twice, sepsis twice, almost died after my second birth, and I've had cyclical vomiting since birth. I understand and it makes me so much more compassionate

There was a suction cup combined to Palm holder so the helper was able to press the check by it and lift it up and the lungs filled up. A very genius. One research said it requires 100 continuous presses to increase the blood pressure effective so don't stop in the beginning. Just press and press😉 and press a minute at least continuously. The oxygen already in the body gotta move.

If people knew how traumatic resuscitation is they might be more willing to sign those DNRs. I know I don't want my last moments feeling someone break my ribs, shove a tube down my throat and poke me endlessly with needles. Feeling pain, lots of pain and fear. Just let me pass in peace and not alone. BTW thank you for what you do.

@@hollybug-76542 it depends. I guess one can specify no CPR by heart manipulation. But it is VERY traumatic to just stand by and watch somebody to choke to death because the nurses refuse to suck the ice cream from their throats when the patient is not able to sow anymore. Not nice to follow dying, nit nice. So I would NEVER want to choke to death. You die that way if you wish,I will NOT!

Are you a firefighter?

@@GinEric84 I was a volunteer in one Search And Rescue with firefighter capabilities so kinda yes I guess. I have been witnessing some deaths by choking and it's not nice to stand by 15 minutes watching one to fight for their lives eyes literally bulging from the heads! It is traumatic even for those, who see it let alone for those, who were in such situation experiencing it first hand surviving it! Often people adapt and get used to their weakening circumstances and no longer want to die even though they thought they would never want to live in such and such state while still being healthy. Which is why such agreement can shorten life unnecessarily. Also some people have felt the need to experience the NDE in order to have their matters arranged in order to die in peace. It's very gruesome to follow somebody begging for help while dying. So it's not all black out and good bye. There are so much stuff in between, that it is hard to make such forever agreement without knowing all the aspects. Besides most hospitals seem to pressure the close ones to agree with such a thing for the patient without even asking from the patient just to speed up the rotation of the beds in palliative care. The body hardly gets even cold before it is moved away to the cold storage and the room emptied for the next patient. Then there is often no time for grief work after the patient past's away in the name of effectiveness in this society. English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes.

Thats super cool! I had no idea! And thank you!

​@@NurseHadley I feel like that's similar to childcare. Both my husband and I have worked in childcare and neither of us want to send our kids for more than 1 day a week if we can possibly help it and not until they're verbal. I've met a lot of other childcare workers who feel the same

​@@Asharra12 And if you need childcare before they're verbal, as a nanny, I ask parents to please install cameras covering every room and outside areas, and that those cameras are sound recording. If anything like an accidental injury to the child or nanny occurs, that evidence will help immensely. I also ask them to make sure they can see and hear us from their phones and tell them to please feel free to drop by or contact me at any time. Most parents are surprised that I'm not comfortable without a nanny cam of some kind.

​@NurseHadley this is somewhat true www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4882251/

That’s my grandpa being retired from internal medicine for almost 20 years and refusing to get a stent with angioplasty because he did not trust such “new” operation and did not like to adjust his current medications. It took the whole family to convince him that it is a really mature operation, and should put some more trust in the system cuz things were not the same as 20 years ago.😅

So glad you got to be with her , sorry for your loss ❤

Checking in to say i hope youre ok ❤ i see you and im sorry for the pain youve endured. My best wishes to healthy healing ❤

May God give you the strength to cope through this loss. This made me tear up and I’m sending you a virtual hug. Take care. Your mother is looking over you and will always be there. As a mother, I know the bond between a mother and a child.

Love to you ❤

Thank you for sharing your story with us I do not look forward to that day. Your mom sounded like a beautiful person just like my mother And obviously raised a great human , I truly do believe that she's with you in spirit. Hugs ❤

Thank you for your work. I can’t imagine how hard it gets. You are very brave🫂

I teach CPR and one of the first things I tell my students is that the patient probably not going to survive CPR and you did not do anything wrong!

⁠@@RoamingwithRover OOH only 1 in 10 achieve ROSC, according to the AHA. In my experience, that's accurate. I've only seen one ROSC and plenty of TOD being called. Never bothers me when they don't make it, but I do feel empathy for the family that are present.

I’m with you

If you work in a memory care unit YOU are fabulous. We are thankful for what you do !

well I only do hair but I try and help them as much as I legally can. but thank you :) I love memory care @@emmib1388

Thank you for what you do. My dad passed in a memory care unit during one of the COVID lock downs. His nurses all came to my family to say how sorry they were for our loss. They were angels 😇❤. We hated having to make the difficult decision to put him there for his last few months, but realized we couldn't keep him safe and comfortable anymore at home. They made us feel so much better about it.

thats so mf cute i legit sobbed to this 😢😭😭

@@k_intra I do too every time I think about it 😭😭

As a non-medical professional, just plain old person who has taken a few family members to the ER when they were in pain or with my ex-husband, several visits due to a mental health crisis I gotta say I relate to ur story a lot bc I always noticed how ER staff seemed kind of unsympathetic, in general, and it always struck me as counter-intuitive. I'd wonder to myself, why are they in a field thats about taking care of ppl in need if they don't seem particularly concerned w how the person FEELS. It dawned on me that physical needs and emotional needs are quite different and it takes a special type of nurse/ medical professional to take care of their patients emotional needs as much as the physical needs. Seems like YOU are that special type :)

You sound like a great nurse… needed in every setting 💜

If that truly happened then that nurse was an idiot and not a good representation. Hopefully you stood up to her and stuck to your guns and did what you knew was right because that's what good nurses do and in turn it weeds out the bad ones. I spent over 10 years with my 26-year career as an ER nurse and I cared every day and went above and beyond anytime I could because that's what nurses are supposed to do and I never let some idiot nurse that didn't belong in the field dictate what type of care I gave. We all know that there are horrible nurses out there just like they're a horrible people in every field. It takes the good ones to make a difference and to get rid of the ones who don't belong there by showing them that that type of mentality won't be tolerated. I'm sure you were a fabulous nurse

It's not just caring too much. Sometimes it's just our nature to engage with people and in the ER often you need to stay somewhat detached so that you can function more efficiently. And the pace is often hard-and-fast. I'm an RN and it's not for me either. Thank God there are many kinds of nursing so we can find our own niche.

michellesartori6695, Thank you for reminding me that there's always time to care and make a sandwich for someone. It is difficult to work in healthcare when the goal is efficiency and rescue, rather than acceptance of the reality that 98 year old people are not well served by the brutality of CPR. This is going to be an explosive topic with my siblings regarding our 98 year old mom: mom's DPOA is not accepting that mom's days are numbered. The flip side is the unrealistic expectation that I, the retire-nurse-daughter ALWAYS sit in the ambulance with mom instead of drive my car and follow, so I'm not stranded at the hospital without a car.

Same here!

Your story has me in absolute tears. That sounds so lovely.

I’m very glad she spent the end of her life in dignified comfort and was treated well. People who wake up after a coma often talk of times of awareness of their surroundings, so I think there is a very real chance that she was grateful for the peaceful, kind setting. Thank you for sharing

Go to your Dr and discuss being a no code if the Dr feels it's time to let you go. You call the plan .....get it in writing make sure you have a copy for each Dr and child you have. Tell them that's what you want .....best to do it now. Before you get things you don't want!!!

Do you think the additional eight months were worth it to him, or was he in a lot of pain for that time?

@@cynthiaholland13I’d say eight more months of time to be cherished with his one and only family member, and to provide joy and comfort and compassion to his partner was worth it.

​@@doubleeta56 if you aren't familiar with this particular situation, you have absolutely no way of knowing that. It's most likely he never even regained consciousness. Think of this situation.

🤍

May he rest in peace 🕊️