ENG: May i asked him, how he committed suicide ?? Jumping out of the window, did he pointed a gun at his head, or he said "I'm so useless, I just want to die..." R.I.P PowaPowa-P... and why his death is so secret ?? I just want to find his secret death mystery... At last... i found his finds/beta songs... But, I'm surprised to find out that "Please Give Me A Red Pen" and "Healthy End" are both connected each other... 🤔🤔😯😯😔😔 JAP: 私は彼にどのように自殺したのか尋ねましたか？ 窓から飛び出したとき、彼は頭に銃を向けましたか、それとも「私は役に立たないので、私はただ死にたいだけです。。。」と言ったのですか。 私は彼の秘密の死の謎を見つけたいだけです...ついに...彼の発見/ベータ版の曲を見つけました。。。しかし、「私に赤ペンをください」と「健康的な終わり」を見つけて驚いています 両方が互いに接続されています。。。🤔🤔😯😯😔😔
@@hatsunemikuchannel2023 Hello the cause why he's dead is still unknown since powapowa family keep it as a privacy, Healthy End was the song he last writed and then he gave it to his friend, i'm sorry for my bad English Sorry for the late reply
even the shakiness in the way he plays the piano.. you can feel his pain through this demo version. Rest in peace siinamota. you've made an impact on so many people's lives through your works, and i hope you can rest in peace.
i originally heard the vocaloid for this. and that didn't make me cry. but his voice here. even the piano. as a pianist myself it just....... now im crying. the piano hits so ahrd here too,
@@whatever_art so true, i definitely understand the voice shakiness, i hear it in my own somtimes. alltogether... this song means much to me i think as a lot of his works do.
"The last song he ever released (“Please Give Me a Red Pen”) was also quite dark, and he uploaded it only 30 minutes before he died. It is believed to be about why he committed suicide." rest in peace
@@Karma_Akabaneeeeehe died a short while after he released "pls give me a red pen" the cause was not told for obvious reasons but it's likely it was suicide
@@GetRektBud2I think that they are meaning, "Why would he rest in peace when he is clearly in pain? even after death, who's to say he is not still hurting? who's to say that it's still not affecting him even while dead?" I do sincerely hope and wish that he finds peace and happiness in the heavens above. may he sleep soundly and peacefully..
it still saddens me hearing this song. Wherever you are right now, I hope you are doing well and hope that you already found the happiness you've been wanting to experience.
i just discovered this cover, and its honestly very unsettling and a bit disturbing since, he sang this just a few hours before his death and his voice is very shaky. RIP siinamota :( 💞
@@NotAdachiPeople i personally think its because of a few reasons. 1, no one appreciated his work, or at least he felt that way. 2, the loss of someone special to him. and 3, rejection from someone.
@@NotAdachiPeopleactually I might know a few reasons. 1. Failing his exam 2. He thinks he was a failure 3. His mother punishes him a lot 4. Lost his father 5. Rejected 6. Bullied 7. He was wasn’t ready to be a adult
thats because he used vocaloids which cant portray that type of emotion and pain which was behind the screen that siinamota feeling and going through. i really hope that now hes in a better place, reuniting with the one he lost or found peace that was never given to him when he was still with us.
It really does sound like someone who was holding him together either abandoned him or died. Likely died from how they seem to say they're no longer there at all and wanting to be like them. Considering how horribly depressed he seemed and practically begging for help that never came, and the family is STILL keeping it a secret, I imagine the reason he's depressed has something directly to do with how Japanese society is structured, OR whoever died tried standing up to the wrong people and none of them were allowed to reveal it like the Yakuza or something, and because of this, Siinamota couldn't properly mourn their friend outside wishing they were brave and optimistic like them, and wishing that they "came back" instead of going out to deal with something that killed them. Maybe that's why he says "no matter what" when he talks about being like him, and the end result is taking his own life as that's essentially what his friend did trying to stop something. This is my guess, anyway.
So PowaPowa-P, always that there was something taking him away, he thought that his family was abandoned him, his friends have nothing to deal with him anymore... You know Entropy... I'm brave, luckily, but i don't wan't people to committe suicide. These people need to have someone with to talk. Unfortunately, japanese society has been like "Our son and daughter need to be perfect or we don't want them in our house" 😯😯😔😔😥😥
Once again, coming from the official channel who posted Young Girl A, o7 my brother. The final songs of the man who created masterpeices, the popularity of this song will surely be remebered in the history books. o7.
You can literally hear the pain behind his voice, the emotions, how he feels. It sounds like he was about to cry. And as people described his hands are shaky while playing this. I think so.. I hope he rest in peace
I think that this song may have been referencing s/h because he mentions multiple times "red marks" and "red lines." Including, "The more the nonsense, the more the red marks." I used to do that, but I've been clean for a couple months now and it pains me to think that he may have been doing that too. I'm sorry to those who do that, but I'm not going to be the person screaming "STOP," just please be safe.
I always thought that this song was a metaphor for his life as a test. Red line means red mark/wrong answer to a question on a test -- he puts those for all the mistakes he's made etc.
The saddest part about this song is that in Japanese culture, a red name represents death. This is the last song that he wrote before taking his life hours later. You can truly hear the pain and emotions that are behind the words. Please, everyone, call a friend and ask them how they are doing you could save a life.
If I recall correctly "please give me a red pen" is the last song officially released by siinamota and healthy end was an unreleased song that siinamota couldn't upload in time before ending his life, his friend uploaded it for the public to listen in 2019@@nikkohayashi5182
You can tell by his voice and from the piano that he’s crying, in Japanese if you give someone a red pen, it means “end of life”.. and it’s heard that this was his last song before suicide….
Well this comment is EVEN worse than the creators death u made the depression even worse for him RIP the last long that he made before suicide :( sad seeing ppl talk about him without knowing the deep meaning of his depression😞
@@W1ng_str1pe I do like song, I was just expressing how raw the emotion is here considering what this song means to Ryou and to us to an extent. I have no idea where you got to assumption I didn’t get the meaning of this???
@@shockwave2819 lmao yeah, I wasn’t really thinking when I was writing this, I just wanted to express how I felt when listening to this again on his anniversary in remembrance. Definitely could’ve worded this differently lol
jesus everytime he says "here is the red pen" it hurts. i can feel the shakiness and near the end part of the piano sequence you can hear the off-key tunes. this version of the song makes me feel awful. I hope siinamota will rest in peace.
@@JJ5_dragon_heart The vocaloid version of this song was released by Siinamota 30 minutes before his death, this version with his vocals was released some time after that happened
Not sure if you know this, but this was the cover he made hours before his suicide, his voice may seem cute, but in reality it seems so cute and shaky due to what he was experiencing at that time, which was extreme depression.
I mean...respect on them for releasing/publishing siinamota's demo songs, but this feels like it shouldn't have been released to the public (especially with the extra unfortunate context of the song's release). It's cool hearing the development of a song, but listening to this feel voyeuristic in a way.
This was the last song he posted before his death. This song is about reflecting before committing suicide. He passed away 30 minutes after uploading the original version of this song.
Basically in Japanese culture if you write you're name in red you will die that's why he said "please give me a red pen" so he could write his name in red aka (commit suicide)
he may be talking about the "mistakes" that he has made during his life time or on the so called "examination papers." correct answers are marked with checks, wrong answers are marked with circles. at the end hes talking about the first circle to be that last he will ever get and theres a zero as his grade, indicating that he didnt get anything correct and the only circle on his paper is that zero. in most asian cultures, writing your name is considered to be a curse or bad luck to the person. we dont know what siinamota was specifically going through but we mainly ASSUME that he was going through depression or some mental health problems, so which is why the lyrics or he keeps saying "please give me a red pen" in the song, maybe to write his name down with it. the red marks probabl mean $h, he couldve been doing that to himself too. i think one of the lyrics said, "the more nonsense, the more red marks," probs meaning that everytime he did something that didnt go along with his ideas or the person grading his "paper" (life) was saying he was only speaking nonsense caused him more RED MARKS on him or on the paper.
I wish i could be like you more and more marks "my imperfections" keep appearing. You are so happy if i were you id be happy too. (Right?) The pain is too much give me a red pen "a reason to live or a way to open up to the world" so that i can be more like you. If i were to mix the ingredients it would be weird. (People will never except me if i tell them everything.) This is an example of what kills people im fucking 13 and i am a fucking therapist that destroys themselves everyday listening to others problems. It hurts but i do it to allow them to continue. Im fucking trans gay and even a furry and i cant fucking tell anyone because i would just get outlawed away. Shunned. Proven to be a mistake like i have always fucking been. Goodbye people im done. In a valley dark lit by moonlight. A sorrowful willow tree. Sit aside a mountain. It's grown tall but still is overshadowed. The mountain dark and dull. The tree bright and smooth. The mountain overpowers the tree. A seat beside the tree. A seat covered in thorns. You take a seat you feel pain but the mountain shrinks. The tree sees light and grows. You sink down buried in the rubble. The tree is now great but you sacrificed yourself. Why to see the beauty in a lost withered willow.
we all have a will to live or a reason too we were all born to do something great if this is you letting it out go ahead ket it out you are loved never forget that
![[ 椎名もた ] Please give me a red pen - Eng Subs (Siinamota vocal ver.)](/img/logo.svg){kind=logo}
