𝗔𝗯𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 ▲ a short film 

I had a very similar experience (growing up with art, addicted to the praise, but also kinda lost as an artist). For me, it changed when I took a class that challenged everything I did: timed assignments where we only had a minute to capture a full pose, assignments with limited palettes or unusual colors, draw the idea of something by only drawing the textures with no outlines, etc. I HATED it at first, but then was shocked and intrigued when I stepped back and realized I had made something unexpected...and interesting. And it was like falling in love with art all over again. Thanks for sharing your journey, keep up your work!

"to turn off our mind and just create is the hardest thing an artist can do" - true! Also, I liked in the beginning how you were sharing the excitement and validation you got when you were younger and family and others would compliment your art. I also remember those moments when people would compliment or support my writing at a young age and it was a thrill.

This was beautiful, thank you.

So powerful to share your path in this aesthetic way 💛

This is a great video, and a such relatable journey! Your artwork is great. I heard that Picasso once said "It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child."

Thanks!❤

I needed this. Thank you 💐

I love this.

Some better understanding.about abstract vs realism. For one, you have already experienced the lost connection of pure Expressionist Abstract and have moved on to Semi-Abstract. Somewhat like the Impressionist movement away from Realism, semi abstract is discovering feelings of the mind and soul of subjects that matter. Where Realism is more about bringing out assets of a picture plain. The problem with pure Expressionist Abstract is it is much harder for most folks to relate to the meaning of the work. They view it as pretty color and shapes, unique enhancement of line, something that feels incredibly interesting. It can have a soul, yet much more difficult for the many to relate. Semi-Abstract is creating a picture plain of what the soul feels about the more obvious subject at hand. (The enter feelings where some lines are hard edged and others soft and pliable, the actual play that goes on deeper within human consciousness. Humans can't escape Yen vs Yang. There is no hard edge without softness and vise versa. From the time we awaken its a constant and even going into dream states. It's about everything and there are infinite degrees of how much soft and how much hard. Then there is the middle ground attempting to tie them together.because the human needs both all of the time. Iv'e been painting for over 40 years, mostly oil Impressionism. and Soft Pastel portrait. There was nothing more left to discover and I moved on to Semi Abstract. Creativity is a bit of a lie made up by the evolution of the social matrix as an explanation for what unique things humans accomplish. The truth is discovery, humans driven to discover. the new, discover the real. I think you have found the right art path. Now it's a matter of fighting for time to keep discovering within this current social matrix of work, relationships, information, consumerism, the list is long and important. Except you still have some control of time if you want to discover bad enough! The matrix is a given. Take what you must and leave the rest. If you want an artist life, artist life is #1 and the rest of the social matrix follows, gets automated and turns out just fine.

Interesting i had a similar but opposite experience. Abstract art is what comes naturally to me and realism is so incredibly hard. I never viewed myself as an artist until my senior year of hs and in the past few years I've realized that art is something that i always longed for and needed but didn't feel "allowed" to like abstract art always seemed frowned upon and i never could pick up on the more technical skills of realism. Abstract is all about introspection and release. I don't think of myself as a creator moreso a curator, the drawings and paintings i do feel like they're of their own mind and the art that i make is just a small glimpse into that. But realism has structure and rules and specific technique, its less "fuck around and find out" and more dedicated practice which is way more difficult for me because I'm so accustomed to art being something you just, breathe. I'm not used to it being something you "work" for.

Beautiful video. I’ve been having the same thoughts the past few days! How do I know it’s good, how do I know when it’s finished. What’s the point! ❤

Wow, this is so beautiful.

Very soothing..✨your voice creates peace.

Loved this❤

i noticed how the thumbnail are your pics of painting something from sideways instead of your painting, saying abstract art is ABOUT YOU, thats awesome, but then content full of yellow walls of display fonts as if you are implying an unsaid truth. All the existentialism coated around with a blanket of so called "art"... Making 7 random strokes of different colors randomly to EXPRESS yourself. vaguely. without even being stoned?... wow Thats a big feat... This is a wrong narrative for something as subjective as abstract... It is not hard, especially when you say it is subjective! hard is a relative word, and the closest would be realistic drawings, which actually put impact... im not saying abstract art is easy, im saying it doesnt matter, because that too would be subjective lol... realistic drawings have a set goal and metrics..., the real world, better storytelling, composition, and so on... its much more objective, is able to tell stories and is not selfish... abstract art isnt even selfish, its just random shit at best, which accidentally looks good sometimes. and when it actually looks good, its not subjective, its intentional... its very much like the question "how do i charge a logo?" well, everything in logo has to be intentional and there has to be some value proposition... abstract art isnt even good at expressing, writing is a far better choice. there is always an intent... i believe its far beyond my understanding how people want to express their acid trips through Brush strokes. damn, good luck with that... ur video editing has far better potential, storytelling too, just be more intentional next time. good work