My husband cooks and cleans a lot. A lot of my friends/family always remark about how "lucky" I am. I want to scream when people say it to me. I KNOW none of my husband's friends/family tell him how lucky he is to have a wife that cooks/cleans.
Right on Jen!! It's incomparable the things moms do for their kids and families, compared to dads. And I don't mean that is all households, but lets face it, it is most households. It is disgusting the things moms have to do and think about CONSTANTLY day in and day out for their families. That is called mental load and it is a real thing. Thanks for bringing attention to this. So many people just assume it is the wives role to fulfil ALL the needs of their families and it is not, it is a partnership.
Exactly. Your anger is warranted big time. Thank you for calling this out and I agree 100% Let’s ask who made the kids lunches, who lined up daycare, who makes doctors appointments and finds the doctors. Who is in charge of paying the bills and on and on. Moms! I hear you.❤❤❤
Jen, you have no idea how much this resonates with me today. Not exactly about parenting but about what expected of people based on their gender. My husband is a great father, and he does a fair bit of things at home. I have been a stay at home mum for the last 5 years. It was our mutual decision that one of us would stay home with our daughter, who is suffering from asthma. She was 6 when we decided it's the right move for our family. We split duties accordingly. I deal with day to day stuff, and he is responsible for stuff I don't like or can't due to health reasons (I suffer with few chronic conditions). It works for us. I like taking care of the service or talking to various tradesmen and sorting things out for the house. He doesn't. He doesn't like fixing stuff or building things. I do. He takes bins out because I dislike it, and he is responsible for dealing with spiders, washing car, and windows in the house. I deal with solar panels, bank and arranging for things to be fixed. We both do things we are good at. The amount of abuse we get from his family over the fact that I know when our car is due service and he does not, is unbelievable. A few days ago, our front doors needed to be fixed, and I called a repairman. His family lost it why we dared to spend our money on a specialist when he could spend hours and fix it himself. I was told directly that he should deal with stuff like that because he is a man, and he is more capable of making decisions relating to "men stuff." I don't understand why people have problems accepting that we live the way we want. We are adults on our own for 20 years, and we are more than capable of handling our lives the way we see fit.
Exactly! I also choose not to affected by "Mum guilt" and all those other sh*tty terms - my kids are fed, clothed and housed - end of story! Great see you pop up again Jen, hope you're well. Whenever my oldest has to pick a YT vid, it's yours 💖
Bang on. Some people don’t know how to cook or don’t have time to cook. Getting food on the table is healthier than getting fast food every day. Kindness people.
Amen, Jen!!! Kudos to you for calling it out. You do your best to feed your children healthy things - occasionally some chips or juice boxes or sugary treats but you put multiple veggies and fruits every night with dinner, you make veggie trays and leave them in the refrigerator while you are traveling for work. I’ve seen all the prep you do before you leave town. So much more than I get done. Tonight I couldn’t think of a veg to put with air fryer chicken wings so I cut up a cucumber for me and hubby and gave my son some microwave cooked broccoli (raw and made into florets.) At least i put out a veggie for us. There are nights where I have no energy to deal with veggies (if I forgot to prep before I left for work.) Some nights I make pasta in the instant pot and serve it with garlic bread and call it a night. We eat, I have to clean it all up, make dog food and get them to eat it and clean that up. By the time I get to bed I am totally pooped and I am 63! So, good for you all that you do for your family. 👏👏👏
Very true Jen. To be honest I stopped reading comments on most videos. It’s either someone bashing or someone saying love you. No one knows enough about someone to bash them and certainly not enough to say love you.
Amen Sister!! Ridiculousness! And I will say that it never ends, as grandparents even. The Nana is the one in charge of all the planning, healthy meals, gettwbaths, etc, whereas, Papa gets "come play with me" AUGHH! Enough Already!
Omg thank you thank you thank you for always speaking up!!! I agree with all of your comments for moms and dads. I’ve always worked full time and cleaned and cooked and ran my kids around without thinking twice and the criticism of , as a mom, not being available for my kids was amazing. As long as kids are fed and have happy parents , it’s that simple.
This is a really powerful short. You totally made your point: well done. Interesting that no one is pointing out how unhealthy pancakes are, especially with all the presumably artificial food dyes.
I watch one channel where the mom makes food from scratch and still gets told her food is garbage and isn’t good enough for her kids. So at the end of the day can’t please everybody.
Yes!! But sadly it’s been that way since the beginning of RU-vid..they use to have forums to bash them now they just make channels to make money or mean comments..
I don’t think we will ever be able to change the way that people react to things and the comments that are made on social media. People are going to form their opinions right or wrong. They are going to voice their opinions right or wrong. The only thing that we can control is the way that we allow them to affect us. We just can’t let them take up space in our head as frustrating as that is it’s important to our mental health to recognize that we have no control over other people’s opinions. We can’t change the world and the way it thinks. What we can do is have a greater influence and positive effect on our children and the people around us. Those are the people that matter the most and bring us the most joy in life.
I don’t know. I think Jen pointing out this inequality can actually have affect on some who may not see it otherwise. The moment we stop doing something because we think we can’t change it is the moment we stop changing things. I say, we keep making these things seen and heard until we change them!
There was a meme going around about a father that went to his kid's game after work and you would think he came up with the cure for cancer for the way he was being praised. I called it out for what it is; bullshit. I got roasted in the comments. It's insane that the bar for men is non-existent that the smallest thing they do is celebrated while we as moms do it on a daily basis and get lambasted. Makes my blood boil
Amen, sister ❤ Being celebrated for showing up to a game? As a mom of 3 who all played sports, I know all of the backstory already. Who do they think did all the transportation to and from practices, shopped for and bought all the equipment, ordered the uniforms, CONSTANTLY WASH the uniforms, fill out all the forms and pay fees, communicate with coaches, purchase and haul snacks & drinks for the team, and also attend every game???
I deal with this ALL THE TIME on my channel. Mom shaming. Mom guilt. I do grocery Hauls and cleaning videos. And I get murdered in the comments haha. It's crazy!
I've seen the comments you mention the worse part is that when I have seen it.... it has been women bashing other women and telling men what a great job they are doing every single time..... women need to be more supportive of each other
Or you can not worry about what other people think. It's too exhausting. People are going to do what they are going to do but I can control my reaction
🎉🎉 when my daughter was 5 I was a nurse and decided to go back to school to become a funeral director/embalmer. I was gone most of the week so my husband took over as he should and did all the things and I will never forget when a bunch of moms saw me one day and said we can’t believe your husband does all that he does to help while you are gone. How do you get him to do that and I looked at them in awe and said what do you mean, how do I get him to do it, he’s her father and it’s his job just as much as it is mine .
I agree totally! Plus, if you don’t like what you’re seeing on that channel, for God’s sakes move along! I can’t believe some people, really! I suppose the people commenting on such an unhealthy dinner never ever had sugar sweetened cereal or a poptart😊
I watched a video recently and the comment was made that fed is fed. I absolutely love that statement. You never know someone’s backstory behind these videos. Maybe the parent has made so many decisions the entire day that they could not make one more decision. Maybe they are struggling to make it to payday and literally using as much as possible in their Pantry and freezer. Maybe their kid has food aversions and will only eat those items and you just want them to eat. Either way, it seems like so many people are quick to judge anymore and feel safe to comment and critic others behind the safety of their devices. It’s so sad. Just remember to be kind, because you never see the whole story, but only a few seconds of a bigger picture.
I dont know where to start jeepers. Narccisits always have to be the best at everything and do not appreciatte anything. It goes both ways. And yes we, which ever side is on the side that is being made to feel like we are not good enough...well yes we are. Life is not a competition of who can do it better in a partnership. It should be team work. One does certain things the other does the other things that keeps the family together. It should never be about who can do it better and that is what is happening to much right now in so many family relationships. Trying if it is trying is good. Advocating their way is just better is not. I hear you loud and clear. hugs and luv
I feel the same and yet I have found myself praising a dad who does these type of things because I'm so use to them not doing it, on RU-vid that is. My x use to cook dinner for us if he got home first. He's really a great dad in many ways not only because he cooks lol! I do praise anyone who cooks, cleans well I'm really just a positive reinforcement kinda person.Tell the kids hi for me. Love and hugs from Texas 💕
what irritates me is the judgement coming from strangers who don't show what they cook so people can tear them apart.. it is soo not needed or helpful. Those "haters" you know are not cooking perfect they just are passing their own "guilt" of how they cook for their kids onto strangers. I say this all the time but happy people just don't criticize other people, people who have low self esteem and jealousy issues do. Happy people don't bring people down, only hurt people do..Time to stop shaming others for just trying to put food in bellies and keep a roof over their heads and start being better humans to one another..
Yes I've been saying this! It's our job our responsibility to do everything but when their dad does it they get worshipped. And that mom did the cooking with kids Around too lol
All true….unfortunately it’s so difficult to rid ourselves of our cultural expectations after generations before us have pounded them into our heads. But we are making progress!!❤
I’m sorry you, and so many women in the comments, aren’t acknowledged by your families. I’ve never been faced with this, I guess we call it inequity? in my home or work. All the men in my life have always been uplifting, and done their fair share without complaint or demands for praise. I wish you all the best in your quest for equity.
And here’s the part that stings the most……. It’s other WOMEN who perpetuate this. They’re primarily the ones making the comments. Between patriarchal society and religious narratives so many moms and women are perpetuating this “awwwww look at that adorable man” story.
I hate to hear "oh you're such a good dad", for doing something that he is suppose to do. I never hear "oh you're such a good mom", for doing the same thing. Both parents are suppose to take care of their kids 100% of the time and 100% of whatever the kids need. That's what being a parent is.
Yes spicy!🌶️ I am just learning more about feminism and supporting women. Even as I woman, I was taught that I’ll never achieve as much as a man could, so why bother? Women are weak and I’ll always be weak. Nope. No. I am unlearning these messages myself. And I am looking forward to learning more from you! ❤
The sad thing is, when you look at the negative comments, most of them come from women. So much judgement comes from other women, and it’s so sad to see. We need to be bringing each other up instead of judging every move the other makes.
I've never clicked on anything as quick as I clicked on this when I saw your name pop up. I feel like I've been missing a friend... partially because we share a lot of the same viewpoints, including on topics such as this 🎉
I totally agree. It's pretty ridiculous. There wasn't anything wrong with either video. I've missed you and have been sending you good thoughts. I've been burnt out and hoping you were not.
Your right Jen! I’m tired of being “mom” and the uncool one of the house. I’m tired of being the go-fer, the cleaner, the worrier, the cooker, the cat feeder, the launderer, the make sure the bills get paid by the due date-er, and the taxi driver. Part of this is my fault - somewhere; somehow I’m sure. I think it was inbred into me from before I was born. It was the sperm cell that told the others “no, you rest, I’ll go”. Sad but true, I think.
@@Jen-Chapin you know, it’s okay. I’m sure that in a lot of places, especially in today’s times, things could be a heck of a lot worse for people-especially women. But what makes us American women strong 💪 is the ability to stand up and be heard. This isn’t necessarily a choice in some countries. So I’m complaining with love I guess, because I can and I’m proud of everything us women do. can you even imagine a world without us? Lmao!❤️😁
