1.9. CELPIP Writing Advanced Masterclass - Task 1 - How to revise your writing on the test day

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In this series of video lectures, you will learn everything you need to know about CELPIP writing task 1, otherwise known as the Email task.
The course consists of a series of lessons, which should be viewed in sequence. In the ninth lesson of the series, we review what you should be doing after completing your first draft. Remember, even a few seconds can sometimes be enough to make some life-saving revisions. In this video, I explain what to check before your finalize your email.
In the upcoming lessons, we will review some useful language boosters for each type of function (e.g., requests, complaints, etc.). Finally, we will end the course with some sample responses for you to model.
You can access full content of this course by becoming a member of the channel.
After watching the video, take a close look at the sample email below and see how many mistakes you can spot. Share your answers in the comments:
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Dear Manager,
I am writing in connection with a loan that I received from your bank.
My name is Bernal, and I borrowed money from your bank last month on Feb 2nd, 2021. The amount that I borrowed is $20,000 and I am supposed to pay $200 per month within a period of 11 month already including interest.
The reason I borrowed money from your bank is to purchase a new car, which I will use for my new job. I just got a job offer, which is my dream job. However, the company is located at Kitchener while I am at Mississauga, where it usually takes 2 hours by bus. Therefore, I decided to get a loan to buy this new car.
Unfortunately, I am unable to pay this month because during the covid 19 time, I lost my previous job for 3 month and hence all my savings are already spent on my daily life. But now, I have a new job which I recently started this month and I will be paid by the end of this month. At this time, your bank can automatically withdraw from my checking account.
I apologize in advance for the inconvenience.
Sincerely,
Bernal

Опубликовано:

23 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 12

@sayyadjanimd Год назад

As requested, in my opinion, a few errors introduced include: 'from your bank', 'I borrowed money from your bank', 'my' are repetitive 'Covid 19' has to be 'Covid-19' 'hence' may have to be 'hence,' '11 month' has to be '11 months' '3 month' has to be '3 months' $200/mo for 11 months doesn't sum up to above $20,000 (incl interest) 'which I will use for my new job' may have to be 'which I will use for commuting to the new office' 'Last name' needs to be included on the signature, for formal letters Appreciate it if you could acknowledge and correct it as applicable.

@sayyadjanimd Год назад

Hi Sam, Thanks for sharing the wonderful guidance. I have a few questions and I would appreciate it if you could clarify them. Many thanks. 1) Do I have to introduce my name in the background paragraph, when it is already a part of the signature? 2) Could we address 3 bullet points in two body paragraphs? 3) Do we have to always precede a comma before the word 'which'? 4) Is a line space mandatory after leave-taking and signature? 5) Could you shed some light on the right way of mentioning currencies, units of measure, time (AM/PM), date formats etc?

@fasttrackesl Год назад

Hi Sayyed, Glad you’re finding the tutorial useful. 1. Yes. The aim is for you to not just state your name, but to provide a brief statement on who you are (e.g., My name is John, and I’m a first-year student at Grove College). 2. It’s best to separate the bullet points so: (a) you don’t end up with lengthy, unbalanced paragraphs or undeveloped bullet points, and (b) the examiner will be more likely to recognize each function, if it’s placed in a paragraph of its own. 3. No. This depends on whether you’re dealing with a restrictive or a non-restrictive relative clause. 4. I always recommend using blank space in between all paragraphs (it’s just easier on the readers’ eyes), but the leave-taking and signature can be squeezed together (if you prefer it that way). 5. You can use symbols and abbreviations in your response. The conventions vary and there are exceptions, which is why I suggest you go with a good dictionary to check in each case. However, when in doubt, spell it out! Hope this was helpful, and good luck!

@evabenjaminioolilll1236 2 года назад

Hello sir! Could you share some reading and listening please thanks

@dibamahboubi7570 2 года назад

the tutorials for task 1 supposed to be 16, I can only 9 of them, are they in process or I can't find them?

@fasttrackesl 2 года назад

The complete tutorial will be released soon!

@shubhamsinghmrok9513 2 года назад

Hello sir, please suggest similar videos for CELPIP Writing Task-2

@fasttrackesl 2 года назад

A similar tutorial for Task 2 is in the making. Stay tuned!

@polyd9055 Год назад

Hello Sir, Thank you for these videos. They were very informative. Would be able to share the sample of the email that is being used in the video as an example ? Thanks in advance.

@fasttrackesl Год назад

The sample email can be found in the video description.

@patricktaino 8 месяцев назад

To: Canada Airlines Customer Care Department Subject: Missing Wallet To whom it may concern, My name is John, and I am writing to request for your assistance in locating my lost wallet. Last week, I took a flight from Vancouver to Toronto with your airlines and seemed to have dropped my wallet on the airplane. I only realized that my wallet was missing upon arriving home and frantically searching my bag. The wallet in question is a black leather wallet with the initials “P.M.O.” engraved on the outside. It is similar in size and shape to a passport and is around 4 inches thick. It is vital that I retrieve this wallet since it holds some of my most important cards such as my drivers license, health card, credit cards and other cards I use on a daily basis. Thank you in advance for your kind cooperation regarding my request. Regards, Patrick Max

@patricktaino 8 месяцев назад