1 family's search for meaning 2 decades after Sept. 11 l GMA 

His brothers voice shakes the whole time. I can feel his pain. It's still raw.

The brother is still so hurt. His voice is heartbreaking. I wish she would give him the journal sheesh…🙏🏽

People who haven't read the amazing article should know that he had many journals, and the last one he had was all about her. He had asked her father if he could propose to her just two days before 9/11. While everyone was in grief and shock, she asked his father if she could have that last journal. She definitely had some selfish moments when she did not want to share it with his family later on, but she was also very young. Years later she eventually did share it with his family and his mom acknowledged that she could see why she (the gf) wanted to keep it to herself. They've all forgiven each other over this.

The brother is still mad she kept the journal …

I could feel the tension between the ex gf and brother from here

Wow! Can't believe it has been 20 yrs. Beautiful way how they kept his memories alive ❤

Unless the fiancee was planning on publishing the journal for money I don't understand why the journal wasn't copied and both of them could have had a copy. Something is left out of this story.

He was so handsome. I was five years old on 9/11 which means I am just about the age he was when he died. May his soul Rest In Peace.

He seemed to be a lovely young fella. And although he already did, he would have brought so many more great things to people and to the world.

this absolutely broke my heart. my moms best friend’s husband died at the same conference that Bobby went to❤️

The brother misses him very I felt the emotions I’m glad he married and was able to find love and children

Rest in Peace !I never knew him but he seemed like an awesome guy ,gone too soon ,always remembered 🐦

I don't know what to say but a beautiful tribute to a man they all loved. I remember everything about 9/11 being that I was 22 and in school at the time. Really love the people that matter and show them that love because life is not always guaranteed

Why couldn't they just made copies so that everyone would be happy?

God bless this family and friends. We will never forget.

Loved this story about grief and remembrance

20 years 😭 We will NEVER forget!!!

I’m kind of surprised the girlfriend would get his journal over the brother? Especially since she’s married with children now and obviously it was a point of contention.

It seems like yesterday. I still mourn with all of the families. 9/11: Never Forget 🇺🇲🙏💕

My aunt lost her god daughter candance on the first plane and my home town in ct lost 2 firemen. It was their first day serving in NYC 🕊.

What a great guy, and such a lovely story. Thank you very much for sharing it. I know how much you still miss him to this day.

I really encourage everyone to read the article on which this interview is based. The author handled the complexity of the situation, and the attendant nest of complicated emotions all with great care and skill.

Its really sad that she didn't have the grace to give the book back to the mother

Totally heartbreaking.. rest in peace Bobby ❤️ bit awkward between the gf and the brother . The family should have the journal x

Grief can take 5, 12, 20, 22 years..... For some people grieving is a life long process. So sorry this family was marked by the September 11 event. It seems like it was yesterday. So many people affected. So painful. Resilience to go on.

and he scored like a boss on Kobe...R.I.P. maybe there are playing one on one right now

Awwww, may God rest his soul and the souls of all the lost Americans that day. ❤️🙌🏾

RIP Bobby😇💙 I also love keeping my Stepdad, teacher and Coach 🏀 Dave Sanders memory alive since he was murdered at Columbine High School on April 20,1999. ✝️#davesandersstepdaughter

So heartbreaking 💔

His brothers oldest son looks just like his brother. Wow 💗💗🥺🙏🏽

I can’t believe it’s been 20 years. The day that changed America forever. The one day that America came together no matter race, religion, ethnicity, creed. A dark day in history

This is a diff kind of grief it’s the kind of grief that doesn’t get old everyday is fresh

They could have shown so many positives about this young man's life.... And they choose to focus on this tension....

So all of you guys responding who have not read the piece on this in the Atlantic, I highly recommend it. Even though it is damn near a book instead of an article. I felt so bad for the father for getting sucked down the 9/11 conspiracy rabbit hole for almost 20 years. The mother DOES get diary (or at least a copy of it), so that ends well. Also, it sounded like the father was finally ready of let it all be put to rest. Such a moving story. This video does not do it justice.

Beautiful tribute ❤

20 years already. Wow! 😿

💕💕🙏🏼🙏🏼A beautiful boy, a beautiful man.

A beautiful life remembered greatly.. GOD BLESS HIS FAMILY

Rip, such tragic losses for all of the families- mine included.

This article was amazing

Heartbreaking 🤧🥺🙏🏽

Great story, but I’m a little angry the gf has the journal. She should make copies of the entries she cherishes, and give it back to the family.

I read the Atlantic article about this young man the other day. Long and well worth the 30 mins of reading💕

After reading the Atlantic article, I understand that the gf was dealing with very complex emotions after the loss of both her mother and her fiancé. However, how could she not see the grief of a mother? How could she be so callous as to not even give the mother a photocopy of the journal or even a hint as to what was written inside? His mother was literally pleading with her! If she knew that the journal would give some semblance of peace to his mother, how could she be so cold hearted? Yes, the contents of the final diary were primary about the gf, so obviously she feels very sentimental about it. If the mom knew that, she would likely let her keep it too. Why didn’t she at least tell the mom what was inside and why she wanted to hold onto it? The contents of Bobby’s previous diaries led his mom to believe that perhaps it contained more of his philosophical musings, thoughts, gratitude for his family, etc. That is why the mother was pleading with the gf. If she had a conscience, she would give it back to his mother and let his mother make the decision herself. And after reading about how kind the mother is, I’m sure she would give it back to the gf. The fact that gf cares so little for Bobby’s family’s sentiments shows that she would’ve been a terrible wife to Bobby. I understand the grieving process differs for each person, and that she wanted to keep some things for herself, but she had no right to hurt his mother in this way. She only cared about her feelings and what Bobby meant to her, not fully comprehending that he meant a lot to many people-especially his own mother. She was selfish. Period. I feel for his mother, and the pure agony she went through. I also feel deeply for the gf, but I don’t condone her actions. I hope she understands the sentiments of a grieving mother now that she has children of her own.

He'd be almost 50....I can't believe it

Prayers

I was... confused, shocked, absolutely shocked, then my grieve for the PEOPLE who were gone but then for the PEOPLE who were going to be gone & then for the ones who jumped (in no way do I blame or judge them). I was... wishing I was available to help one family, I felt so much compaction for the CHILDREN who loss anybody or even if they handed lost anyone but were scared & confused. The list I made goes on. Sometimes I think it will never stop. I THANK THE LORD FOR SOOO MANY THINGS TOO... THIS I WILL WRITE DOWN TO!

Aww he named his son after his big bro!

RIP ♥️ Forever missed

That journal belonged to his mother. The look on the brother's face at 4:02 says it all.

Wow. He had such a bright, bright future.

Never forget indeed. Compassion and kindness towards each other is our true nature. 💕💙

Girlfriend is very selfish.. not a nice person. Even if Dad said she could have the journal..knowing that his MOTHER wanted the journal she should have given it to her. What a mean and selfish thing to do. Huge lack of character.

I knew the name sounded familiar Bobby’s Nephew was one of the children that spoke names of the victims and his uncle during the 9/11 ceremony this year. It was very sad to watch and to know more about his uncle saddens me even more.

Yeah....That "water" under the bridge... is SOOOO NOT GONE

Still cant believe people think Jan 6th was worse than 9/11

I’ll have to read this article because I think it’s odd the gf has the journal and not the family

If he was my son, I would have kept the original copy and shared the photocopy with the girlfriend, either that or Im not giving his journal.

Who decided to give the journal to the girlfriend instead of his mom

Give the journal to the family please

That's wrong. Give it back to the mother. She knew him his whole life and you come in to a tiny part of it. Give it back cuz that is her child. Make a copy and give the book back. Also sorry, but she looks like the selfish type to get angry and not give it back for some dumb reason. Or they could share it over the years like one gets it for however long then the other takes

Nice reunion.

very sad such a young vibrant life taken for no reason

Those talking about the girlfriend and the journal need to actually read the article Jen Senior wrote in The Atlantic. Don’t judge without knowing, READ IT. It all makes sense, his parents understand and they’ve forgiven her.

Bobby McIlvaine would be 46 years old today.

For human decency she should give back to the family his journal!!

You can’t make copies of the journal? ???

She wasn’t married to him; she had no right to keep that journal. Had she been his wife, different story.

I really don’t know all of the Details but I find it really hard to believe that the girlfriend ended up with a journal when really I feel it should’ve been the mother if she was able to get it if not the brother. A close family relative otherwise

The guy narrating this sounds like he is just going through the motions and couldn't give less of a f--- about this story

Don't like Girlfriend. Brother doesn't either

anyone got a link to the article ?

Bro scan the entire journal and give it back to the mom … wtf ?

“Water under the bridge”? I’m sure his mom doesn’t think so. What a clown.

Grief is a process.

so many people lost for no apparent reason what a waste?!!!!

Wow he really loved his brother.if my brother dies Ill just move on swifly.Then again I'm a narcissistic self-centered jackass

20 years is far too long to hold a grudge.

The botched withdrawal from Afghanistan is an insult to the memory of those lost on 9/11.

Got pregnant 4 years after he died but won’t give up the journal lol

There is some rare footage ( because camera phones weren't a thing before 9/11) of his brother's first game playing against Kobe Bryant ( before he was a star).......It's only 10 seconds of footage but it is genuine.....They will both be playing basketball in heaven now.

America needs to take LARGE breath and take a look where we have been, and where we are heading..........9/11 never forget

It took 20 years to give a 9/11 victims family his personal journal & the brothers college roommates sister writing a story about it? What am I missing here? How convenient 20 yrs later….

The girlfriend should give it back, she's not a blood relative and has moved on with her life. The brother clearly can't stand her.

I have read the article so many times - even taught it in my contemporary literature class (I am a professor) and Jenn was such an elusive character for myself and my students. Still can't understand why she refused for the parents to look at the diary, even when all they wanted was to photocopy it. It came across as vindictive and immature.The Diary could have so helped with the grief of the parents...

feel for the Brother. You don't give over stuff like this.

The father is trash for giving away belongings of his dead son. Nothing would be given away by my family until it was reviewed and agreed upon by all surviving members of the immediate family.

Saudi’s say, you have no meaning, our military contracts between the two nations mean more than village peasants tears.

Girlfriend is mean 🙄bad person. Mother should have the journal. She already moved on . Her mom clearly not

The girlfriend must have suffered a lot of sue was indeed truly in love poor Bobby he sounded and looked so great he was awesome this must have been hard on his parents and brother the girlfriend sounds cold detached and her voice is horrible

hate when people say get over things

why fight over journal so frivilious

after hearing the girlfriend, the first thing i thought was why in the world would she have the journal. one of many journals or not, his complete writings should be in possession of his family. full~stop.

What a shame that Bobby loved this seemingly cold-hearted woman enough to have wanted to marry her, when she can’t have extended a teeny bit of kindness and compassion towards his mom and brother in the last 20 years by simply sharing the journal with them!! It’s fine that she has it, but after, say, 10-15 years, which’s a very, very long time, can’t she have just a teeny, tiny bit of compassion towards his still-extremely-heartbroken mom and brother, and let them read the journal that’s all about love anyway? Especially when she’s moved on and gotten married and has had a family of her own within just 2-3 years after he’s passed?! Geesh, how hard is it to treat the mother and brother of the man you “allegedly” loved with just a teeny bit of kindness and compassion that I’ve seen even perfect strangers have for each other?! OMG, for goodness’ sake!!!

She was just a girlfriend not his wife.. what right she has to keep his journal? Moreover she has her own family , kids.. give that journal to his mom

I can’t believe it’s been 20 years since 9 /11. To all those who lost their lives: R.I.P in Gods heaven. To the hyjackers : Burn In Hell

Why bring a girlfriend from 20 years ago...she has nothing related to him. It was a moment in time they were dating but that's it

George S., you're an absolute coward for towing the line. Support the Bobby McIlvaine Act.

Why reading diaries from death people? I don't want anyone to read my journals when I'm gone.

HAVE RESPECT FOR THE PEARL HARBOR OF OUR GENERATION!!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY DID TO THE WORLD THAT FAITFUL DAY. THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY IS APPROACHING AND WE HAVE AND WILL NEVER FORGET. THE LIVING GOD OF ABRAHAM WILL BRING HIS JUDGEMENT. REPENT FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND!!!!!