10 signs something is WRONG with your D&D game 

Interested in this Kickstarted. Just one question: Is this book system agnostic, or are the included guides more suited for one system or another?

It’s agnostic

How much is this gonna be to support the Kickstarter? I've never backed anything and don't know how it works. I want to stash some money aside for it.

@@treythesmall6723 There are various tiers and different prices. I don't want to say anything because until we launch things may change.

@@chaedi8457 100% system and genre agnostic.

Who is thank, and how does he own Luke? 🤣

Don't be paranoid, remember players are people. Tailor your games to your players, as long as you hit the main pillars of gameplay and everyone is engaged, your good. Since I let the players have some freedom, we are all enjoying it more.

😂 my thoughts exactly!

Bro tip: after each session, ask your players for direct feedback about lore, rolls, timing, roleplaying, etc. Don't be afraid, the ultimate goal of everyone is have fun. And be ready to listen criticism, you asked for it afterall.

I have no post game discussion in my group but after playing for 4 hours we are just tired and hungry and I'm sure then it's quite late for 2 people so we just leave right after game ends

It is often a sign of paranoia, not actually good dming. I am a pretty bad DM and after every session I always ask my players "how was today's session? what do you want to see differently next time?" and the response is almost always "It was ok. IDK what you could do to improve it." Now I'm driving myself crazy trying to watch videos like these to figure out what is actually wrong with my games since my players won't tell me, but I know there is something wrong with my games because at least 5 of the 10 points from this video apply to my group. Two other people from my group also take turns DMing their own campaigns for us, and those campaigns rarely have problems, and they never ask "how was the session?" because they don't need to. Their sessions are good.

@@JoeSmith-st9lc it really sucks you are feeling like that. There's lots of reasons why a DM might struggle, and only some of them are in his or her control. It's entirely possible your players aren't helping, as DM isn't actualy a performance art solely performed by the DM. Players write their own stories, and should act them out in order for a game to reach that magical level. That aside, if DM'ing is stressing you like that... don't. DM's are supposed to have fun to and if it's not fun for you, just be a player and have fun. Anxiety isn't fun. Feel better my man, the fact that you care enough to cause yourself anxiety and still try is admirable.

Correct! It's gotta be on the mouth. If they wanna kiss on the cheek something is definitely wrong!

real

What does it mean if they include tongue? Ummm...asking for a friend.

​@JasonRODell they're really into your dnd campaign. REALLY into it.

@@JODamaramu Maybe they want to play a different kind of roleplay naked.

I'd be inclined to agree but i have been an exception to this assumption. The first time i got into a group with an experienced DM, I became so obsessed with the campaign that I was spending every hour of every day of the week planning and thinking about what to do in the next session, but that excitement would make me lose sleep. In the long run, I missed sessions or fell asleep during them 4 times and it was ironically because I cared too much about playing it. I got kicked out of that campaign and was depressed for MONTHS afterwards.

@@HamsterPants522 Did you or your GM initiate a conversation about why you were falling asleep and missing games? If not, why not? It seems a shame to lose a player so invested in the game without a conversation or an attempt to work out a solution. Grab your ketchup and crunch away my friends.

Best alternative: Beef Bacon. Same style of cut, but from a beef instead of a pork. Totally kosher-able, and suitably tasty!

And the rules! Had what I would say was one of the worst games I've ever been in for multiple reasons (and that DM it turns out was just generally a bad person, big yikes), but one of them was the DM's handling of the rules. Which was basically the rules were whatever gave HIM the upper hand in the moment. Example: I made a character who could get his AC very high. This was to balance out the fact he couldn't really attack (pure support). I switched to playing this character midway through the campaign, and suddenly we ended up in a lot of situations where it "just made sense" for enemies to be able to hit me automatically without any kind of roll. And this wasn't just me saying "Hey no fair," this was the entire rest of the table going "Wait, what? Shouldn't there be rolls happening? That's not how that works." and his reasoning was always just "Well as the DM this just makes the most sense to me." And I was not the only one getting that kind of treatment, and there's a reason that game ended up falling apart.

When I am a player, I don't use "voices", but I do have different body language cues for different characters. My rogue leans back and grins. My fighter leans forward and often gestures with a fist. When I DM, I try to use the same methods for recurring NPCs to help me AND the players be able to tell that NPC apart from others.

ah, yes! i too am bad at this, and i am a gm, let me tell you... there is a reason why my dnd games dont have very much social interactions, luckly my players dont mind... =O

Anybody who gives you a hard time for that is a jerk. That said, if you're not great at it and want to get better (the second half there is key!) the only real way is by doing.

@@dirtywhitellama Do or do not. There is no try.

Do you roleplay during encounters?

You should direct that person to your town’s theatrical improv group, would be more up their alley.

@MagiofAsura Yes I do and have the players roleplay also. I think it was more he didn't want any combat at all.

@@Berks11 it's funny because most of the encounters in that game were exploration with plenty of roleplaying outside of combat

@@mmcalli0 ...if he wanted to play "Bunnies and Burrows" they he shoulda looked for people to play that. This is why a session zero is important. Even a game of noble intrigues and courtly society has the everpresent threat of violence just under the false smiles. I can't imagine a game without ANY combat!

Players like you are the real MVPs. I ask one on one with my players but they just tell me I'm doing good which doesn't help me at all. My wife is pretty good about letting me know things but you go above and beyond and are such a helpful character

What do you mean by using the info to find out strategies?

@@Dungeon-uh4ph For instance, if players are aware of a fight in the near future they may strategize amongst each other how they’ll deal with it. If you learn of this and alter your plans to counter that specific strategy then you are abusing the trust of your players and will most likely not have them for much longer. That is what they mean. Meta gaming is using outside info to assist your abilities in game. It’s not just players who can meta game. The dm has far more tools and power to meta game and results can be far worse. Bare in mind I’ve been a dm for four years now and a player for 8 months. If a player meta games it can be easily fixed in game and the player will usually get a slap on the wrist or the spray bottle. Bad. No. If a dm meta games it can do a lot worse. Players don’t have much power to fix that outside of just walking away from that game.

Sounds similar to something we do at work called plus deltas. Plus is obviously anything that went well, delta is where things could have gone better. I'm not sure it works great to have bad things that aren't also things that could be changed. Maaayyybe?

Roses and Thorns (good and bad) was a relatively recent feedback method, added Buds (new/change) a bit later. Then got revamped into Stars (good) and Wishes (new/change) feedback method so as to not focus on negative aspects, I guess. Luke had a video that put forth the similar: something to keep doing, something to stop doing, something to begin doing.

Now I liked this ending!

Have you considered if everyone was paying attention, participating, and raving about your game that they were in fact enjoying it, and that you're just fighting one hell of a case of imposter syndrome? You say it was their "actions" in that first game, but didn't list anything that they actually did that made you feel that way.

​@@Jhaiisiin I did have that thought as well, and deal with it to some degree even with my current players. The issues in no particular order: 1) talking about other things (including when i am describing a scene) 2) playing phone games, browsing instagram ect 3) having to recap what has happened when their turn comes up because they were not paying attention, and even with a recap including the fighter is currently down and is at negative health the healer goes "ok i will summon woodland creatures" 4) just giving up when it involves problem solving (puzzle that they just decided "i guess we are stuck here then" instead of using any of the skills or spells even when i hinted heavily. Luckily on this one the one playing the 6 int barbarian actually did pay attention and solved it even though in character he should have been the last one probably. 5) the second round when we were playing online i added sound effects, including warnings for when your turn was coming up and i still would have to say their name multiple times. I commented about having added sound effects to warn of upcoming turns and get "oh i listen to music so the sounds are muted" 6) going along with the not paying attention.. i timed turns for certain players at 10+ minutes more than once because they didnt plan before their turn come up. this of course didnt help with the paying attention for everyone else 7) for the online game: Being late regularly then taking 15-30 minutes to talk about life before getting sorted and logged in 8) i set a scene and then crickets... ending in me prompting "so what are you doing?" and sometimes ending up with "so you could try doing x y or z" Honestly I could keep going. the group I have now has none of these issues except maybe the being late one sometimes. Even so I always feel like I am not doing enough after two campaigns of the above making me feel like crap. edit: the actions never matched the words for anyone in the group except the one who didnt join the second group. she didnt want to play online, she had never played before so alot of her issues were new player learning and when i quit she had started getting the hang of it. that was the downed fighter mentioned above. In the second group my best friend who i played with as a teenager and i knew I would have no issues with was fine, the other three were in both campaigns. The one who played the above mentioned healer and such was the one raving about how much fun she had and really pushed for us to play. She also made me feel guilty when i stopped the game, even when I told her why she blamed it on others instead of taking ownership for teh fact she was the one listening to music, not paying attention or taking 10 minute long turns.

@@ultrakitten674 That definitely changes things with all those examples. Glad your current group is better, and g'luck with managing that imposter syndrome. As a person who deals with that same issue all the time, it's an eternal struggle.

I have a DM that keeps annoying me by making my character look like an idiot. In a role-play thread on Discord that was set to be before the end of the in-person session for talk on a day-long journey: "Do we even have trebuchets? (to launch pigs over a wall at our destingation)" > NPC points to the scaffolding of the army at the destination making siege equipment. On the other hand, he keeps trying to kill the NPC love interest and/or sisters of our female player, so it could be worse.

Any mechanic be it spell (such as banishment) that removes a player from the game so that they sit idle should generally be avoided by GMs. Players come to play, not sit there and do nothing. This is a reason I dislike the spell Counterspell; it forces both GM and players to not play the game. Furthermore, I have always advocated strongly that new PCs should be worked into the game flow immediately, within say 5 minutes, of being ready play. No waiting. It comes back to the previous point: players want to play and things that stop them from playing are to be avoided at almost all costs. Those are my thoughts on the matter. The only solution is speaking with the GM about it and explaining how those situations make you and other players feel and why it's negatively impacting the enjoyability of the game. Hopefully, he'll see the point and change.

@@theDMLair thank you for the reply. It’s great to get feedback from the DM I have watched the most on RU-vid, especially when you tell me I’m right…

@@theDMLair well, I had my private chat with the DM. I politely made the case for getting new or visiting players fully engaged as quickly as possible, and to avoid making players sit idle at the table. I also pointed out things he had done both as a DM and a player that I thought were exceptional, and that I looked forward to seeing the rest of his campaign. He responded by just not showing up to DM with no notice to the group. Classy. The rest of us just pulled out a one shot map and a bucket of minis we had prepared for just such an occasion, and had a great night of DnD. It’s sad, really, and disappointing. But if it turns out to be a permanent thing, I guess it’s for the best.

Awesome, I so happy to be able to help and hear that your games have been going so well! For initiative, what I do these days is hang folded cards off the top of my GM screen with everyone's names in order from left to right to represent their turn order, with my monster turns there too so I know when I go. That way everyone can see the turn order super easy. You can see me doing this in my Thieves Abound games that I put on my channel here.

@@theDMLair Thanks that’s a great tip, I’ll be sure to give that a try! I’ll check out your Thieves Abound games as well 😊

I hope so, otherwise the comments are quite unprofessional

I was half expecting a skit at the end where Luke was looking for a new job because he had just fired himself. 😂

@@kspice6807 same

Either that or the script writer wrote those asides too.

My exact same question too

Thanks! You are very welcome

@@theDMLair Bacon!

Oh yeah, I get it. It's tough to tell if someone is thickskinned enough for the truth or not, so polite declines of "I don't have the time" are less risky.

I think this mostly true, however the extent to which a GM influences everyone's fun cannot be understated. The table can still have fun if there is a bad player or two; if you have a bad GM, the chances of fun happening are very low.

Imitation is the highest form Of flattery

You are very welcome! Happy to be able to help. 😁

I know... I know... I will have to fight this battle until I retire. :D

@@theDMLair You're not alone in the fight.

I actually agree with what you say, but that's the problem with having "pure" combat system for me. I once tried a system with friends a few years ago where you didn't have to cast any dice, but you had to describe everything you did, to the combat. Then, the GM decided how effective it was (he had key words or something). It was interesting to try, and if you could not RP a lot, it could get very long

100% agree.

I usually cut things off at a certain point and start the game. Especially when I know other players want to get on with it. As long as it's done politely and respectfully stopping there conversation isn't a bad thing. It is literally allowing people to do the thing that they came to do. Play the game.

@@theDMLair I often remind them that I have a discord channel dedicated for rules discussion! They both say that these are not rules discussions but hints and tips and tricks for me to use. Yes; thank you for that but I have a game to run so chop, chop; let's roll digital math rocks.

When rules discussion start I'll usually make a ruling then say "that's how we'll do it this session. We'll look it up after. If it's wrong and hurts you, sorry. If it's wrong and benefits you, then you got away with one"

I always like to say "Game on!" when I'm ready to start. Until then, my players are allowed to talk about whatever, but once that's said, it's time to focus. Doing it consistently eventually gave me the ability to switch to Game Mode like a lightswitch, and get folks focused.

@@theofficerfactory2625 One can probably read the entire rules section of the SRD in a half an hour..what more could they really be offering? It kind of sounds like feedback, or nit-picking, or maybe even trying to mod their DM to suit themselves. Perhaps ask them to save the feedback/tips for after the game session.

I think I heard him say a few times before, (and I agree) give painfully obvious warning signs in the game that show that their course of action is deadly, and they will likely perish. (For example, the party witness the bad guy destroy an entire army with minimal effort, or they encounter an experienced NPC on the way that warns them that they WILL die if they continue any further with their decision) And if you are feeling particularly generous when they are at the doorstep of this obvious danger, then perhaps still give them a last opportunity to escape or withdraw, (a tunnel underneath the city that leads to safety and is protected from the dragon’s breath) and if they still decide to go despite your obvious warnings and chances you’ve given them, then let them make the decision. Pull no punches and let them experience the consequences for their actions. Even if that means a tpk, if you always shield them from their own actions, it’s going against their player agency. Not your problem!

I have a "Homebrew/House Rule" that I created where Player Character Deaths/TPKs are nearly impossible except in extreme circumstances. As for that Lich/Dragon thing if you simply make it that it disappeared & can't be found until they are high enough lvl to handle it, that might work.

We use Shard, which I love, and then everyone also uses Discord so we can see each other. That is super helpful. Ironically, we had one player who would always sit off camera, so we could never see their face. The only time we would see them is when they got up to play with their pet. That is another sign a player isn't enjoying the game, when the player is interacting more with their pet than the other players!

@@frankpayne8281 We use discord too, but our cameras are turned off. I don't know why, we just started that way and never changed. Now seven months in, there's no reason to turn them on.

They were jokes. I write my own scripts. :D

Sweet, welcome. I rant sometimes, espeically in live streams. :D

Shadowrun was fun, my friend Joe ran a one shot for us