My grandmother had a sentence :don't do stuff alone that you won't do in public because you may forget yourself one day in public 😂 better have good habits even alone ❤️
46 seconds into this video and Anna said the most important thing in the entire video. Perhaps the most important thing in every video she’s ever made: Etiquette in the home is about respect for ourselves! Thank you for putting this first, Anna.
My dad always says "a family that eats together stays together". And we aren't allowed to even have our mobiles/tablets with us or near us in the dining room. This is always a great time to catch up with each other and help the little ones learn table manners
Same with both my parents I always make sure to put my phone or laptop away, because we have always been told it's rude we also turn the tv off aswell.
You just spoke exactly what's on my mind. I try, however, to do my part by being as elegant as I can even if it's a bit challenging when you're surrounded by people who don't appreciate elegance.
@@EleftheriaMeansLiberty so true My class mates and people at work usually are not the nicest, they make mean jokes think it's funny to ridicule and make fun of someone's looks and like to gossip and talk for hours about people's business which are things i don't like but i would kind of go along with just so that i wouldn't become the new joke and the so called ' justice worrier ' but I'm currently finding new friends that are more like the new me
I love how you drag me for my actions without ever making me feel like you're judging me as a person. I really appreciate all the work you do and how you continue to speak up about the things you care deeply about despite it feeling uncomfortable or the backlash you get for it 💕
Can you please make a video about hands...Nails(polish color, length, nail shape), types of rings/jewelry on fingers/thumbs and where to place our hands when we sit or stand up? A big thanks for all your help!
@@personincognito3989 sure I'll elaborate everything u do on this planet everything u say every person u interact with those movements & activities are quantified & measured by energy vibration & frequency for example if ur home is messy & chaotic (like mine lol but I'm working on it) that type of space is going to cause u to function in low energy & vibration you'll probably feel depressed lethargic etc...but a clean refreshed beautiful space with say for example fresh flowers in it is going to give u clear thinking & inspire u to be greater if that makes sense
I think it’s good to add that it’s not elegant to use swear words. So many people around me use profanity and it’s not elegant or classy. It lowers someone’s status in my eyes. Please, Ana, make a video about this!
I so agree. It is totally unclassy. Trying to get people i know to see the value in not swearing has been unsuccessful. So in my circle everyone has been told not to use swear words when around me 😊
I have just fallen in LOVE with this channel. Finally! A modern femininity channel without strict rules and weird rituals. Yesssss 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Let me get my notebook 📓 🤓
I was thinking the same thing. I'm not very elegant but I don't know anyone that actually useses toliet paper as a napkin and a paper towel. I feel good I'm at least doing one elegant thing well without even knowing it 😏
I want to cry because i was never taught these things. I really feel i missed out on how to respect myself in everyday life in these little ways. Thank you so much Anna, for this video please make more videos like these. Really want to learn more practical everyday life ways to love and respect myself more. You won't believe it but many children are never taught these things.
When I took up knitting, all the ladies in the meetup were well to do. I was so ashamed of my lack of etiquette when I was around them and had no idea how to learn it. I am so glad that I found this channel. I may never bump elbows with the well to do again but at least now I am aware of myself and have an idea of how to behave. I'm still an ox in a china store for the most part but I am a work in progress.
I was chatting with a guy some time ago... after some days of talks he decided that it was ok to send me an audio message of his bubbles... 😀 I deleted his number right after 😄
I watched this video 5 months ago when it was first published, and it has resonated soooo well. I did everything you listed either 80%-100% of the time elegantly, except for one - talking to/yelling at others in different rooms. Since watching this video several months ago, I have completely stopped yelling to someone in a different room or part of the house or property or office and have instead walked over to that person to speak whatever I was going to say in person. I had even forgotten where I had learned to do it. And I honestly have been wondering where I did learn of from for a while now. Silly me, of course Anna taught me! In any case, it has completely evolved my habits for the better! :) Thank you kindly, Anna
I’ve always thought fake plants were tacky, but my family can’t have real flowers in the house. Allergies start to act up when there’s just a vase of roses for Valentine’s Day. Lol
Amanda K not sure how severe you and your family’s allergies are, but for me, succulents and other types of greenery that are non-flowering give a similar effect without the need for Benadryl, hope this helps! 😉
You are absolutely precious! My southern mother taught me these 10 but certainly without the delightful delivery! I have giggled (quietly and elegantly) into a regal mood. Please have a fantastic day (all who pass by this comment).
My partner is from old money, and I’m very fortunate that he’s generous and buys me very nice flowers. I’ve some what turned into a flower snob! I agree flowers make me so happy😘
Why is it an old money thing to buy flowers? Maybe for American men. It's just normal for most European guys/men to buy you flowers rich or poor,new money or old money.
Thankful for the understanding and wisdom she shares on etiquette and elegance. My family didn’t have clear etiquette rules for me to follow growing up, so I’ve had to learn social behavior from peers around me. Those experiences weren’t filled with any self respect or value. So to finally have a reliable source such as herself explain proper content is so refreshing! Thank you very much Anna. 💐
@@laurenzulu2060 right especially if it's an individually packaged water bottle like i'm the only one drinking out of it, it's so pointless to pour it into a glass when an individual water bottle and a glass cup serve the same purpose when drinking water
Darien Kim I think your missing the point. It's not about the practical but the emotional. It makes you feel more elegant drinking from a glass. Think about it... If you had lipstick on and at a meal would you drink from a water bottle and still feel elegant?
Can you make a video about education and general culture? Literature, art, music, philosophy, politics even movies etc. I think knowledge is the most sophisticated and elegant thing.
I think her expertise lies in some other department as you know it. In my opinion she’s good at what she does. Yes ‘education’ and ‘knowledge’ is elegance, I know what you mean, but just institutional education is not enough to be elegant unless you come from such sophisticated family background. I come from east Asia and in London I trained myself to be sophisticated for 10 years and now I am married to an oxford educated ‘proper’ Englishman and I have friends who come from aristocracy. I like proper manners hence I am here today in life; it doesn’t mean I don’t have education or knowledge.
@@Life_after_45 I didn't mean college eduaction, or someting specialized. I ment general culture, affluent topics, for example basic art/literature knowledge or even about wines.. How can you be affluent if you can't hold conversation? You can have most elegant manners but without this it's just an illusion.
I love your videos. I'm 35 and I wish I've known these things before. But I'm glad to learn them now, better late than never. Being an average person in a working class doesn't mean we cannot be elegant. Self-respect is one of the classiest things no matter what socio-economic status we are in.
I laughed when she said don't fart in front of your partner. My husband watched me give birth twice. I think we are waaaay beyond the no farting rule. 😂
@@silencedogood9747 this is a rule for trophy wives whose main job is to be attractive and "elegant", not real world wives. She probably would tell you not to tend to your terminally ill husband in the hospital because it's not elegant.
@@ShaferHart lol I know right? Sooner or later though, trophy wives have to be "real people" in some way, shape or form. You can't be with someone any length of time and not be.
I needed the moment when Anna said “Screaming like a beaten pig.” about being intimate. She is so classy, but she has great humor. Proper, but not stuffy. ❤️
A.M. M. I totally agree with you! Seriously, that was so disrespectful. I like doing my personal hygiene in total peace and privacy. I think everyone deserves that. Any person who cannot understand something so simple can’t be taken as a mature, considerate human.
I found this channel unintentionally, but I'm having a great time watching it. I actually got surprised while watching this particular video because I do all of those things since I remember, but all the other members of my family do the exact opposite.
Remember that she comes from Europe!! Many of these norms are VERY run of the mill in Europe such as sitting down for meals, and in America it’s much less common! Even if you don’t agree with everything she says, some of it is because of her culture, and she’s not trying to micromanage your life, she’s just giving living suggestions that she likes to live by.
These are general rules of behaviour taught by all etiquette experts. I am also from Europe and I am really surprised that these do not seem to be followed in the USA.
USA is falling apart, we could use a comeback of the "elegant lady" and takes some notes!!! Yeah, few sit down meals because mom's so exhausted from working all day like dad, just microwave and have a TV dinner staring at a screen. Here, women wanna be masculine, provacative, easy, fast, many men don't want anything to do with women because they're so angry, "empowered", the family unit is literally dying, birthrates are falling so much... No one thinks Anna is micromanaging us LOL she's obviously giving advice... That American women desperately need IMO!!
These things also create good “elegant” habits. Then we don’t have to think about it when we’re in public! PRACTICE makes habit! 👍 Additionally, sitting with good posture is very good for strengthening the muscles around the spine and excellent conditioning for your back.
I agree with your tips, although I'm a maximalist, an artist and collector. People are surprised that I can have so much stuff but my place doesn't look cluttered. That's because the collections are curated and grouped by color or theme and thoughtfully displayed. I'm a visual person, which means I'm a piler, not a filer. It's taken me years to figure out how to have everything on display but not look like a nightmare. But I never let my children eat in front of the TV and their phones had to be put away for meals, too! Oh, and the posture thing--it's important because sitting in a hunched or slouched position is very bad for your spine and shoulder/neck muscles. You can develop a permanent hunch and it can give you debilitating shoulder and back pain you'll need treatment for.
I can't find a single flaw in what Anna just said...all of these habits are important manners that we all should build up..treat everyone especially yourself with respect ladies.
my mother was always VERY strict with ettiquete at home, i learned all of those since child, e specially the table eating, drinking everything in g lass and the sitting (its a rule to me), glad for this! ! It gets much easier.
every point Anna says reminds me of my mother. she grew up in a remote area of Afghanistan without having anyone to tell her about these stuff because she lost her parents in a very young age. However, she grew to be such a quality person and elegant woman.
It does look very tacky and kind of gross because it reminds you of toilet and things we do on the toilet. And has the role she brought been in the toilet previously?
Omg i didn’t even know that people would use toilet paper for anything else 🤦🏻♀️ this woman is teaching us all how to keep self respect and feel good even if we are by our own or with our husband/partner. PROBS to this beautiful woman
My mother taught me almost everything you talk about on your channel. She taught me that good manners were all about making others feel respected and comfortable. And if you let this slide at home alone then you get so comfortable that you run the risk of letting your good manners slide when you are not alone. And also you should treat yourself as nicely and as respectful as you treat others. PS I hate fake flowers too! And at the moment I can't afford fresh flowers but I forage the area for pretty fall leaves or pinecones etc. to grace our table. Of course due to Covid we are not planning to have guests anytime soon BUT we deserve a nice arrangement of natural things too. So I forage our yard and I ask neighbors for pinecones because it is fall. PPS. My very gracious and elegant mother would have loved your channel as much as I do!
Honestly I wish I was her daughter- my mother is probably the least classy woman I’ve ever met and I wonder how she managed to marry a man like my father, who is proper in every way.
...who is also completely miserable and will likely rebel big time before reaching her teen years. Imagine this lady being your mother. She's probably far too classy to do what needs to be done to have a child in the first place.
Some more things: Talking about money, politics, and religion with people you don't know; Asking personal questions; Gossiping; Eating out of the pot while someone is cooking; Talking loudly; Being rude to waitress/waiter; Bad tipping; Being cheap; Bragging; Belittling someone in public; Not having poo-pourri in guest bathroom; Not using manners and being polite.
@@ferson8734 I think it's fragrance tablets you install in the toilet. When you flush after using it releases some of the liquid or fragance into the toilet bowl.
I *loathe* when people communicate by yelling across rooms, my dad does it. My voice is much too soft naturally to do it so I thankfully never adopted the practice.
My husband does this when we're out shopping and I've wondered a few aisles away and he wants to show me or ask me something. He'll yell, "babe......babe...babe," as I'm clearly ignoring him on purpose, while slowly walking towards him, to try and make a point. You would think he would learn by now, as I always have to whisper in his ear when I finally get to him, "please don't yell for me, I hear you, but I'm not going to yell back, ever."
It wasn't done in my household growing up. Now, renting with my brothers as a grownup, yelling from another room usually results in one of them saying "Don't yell" or "Why are you yelling?" So, I'm still not allowed LOL
My Goodness, she critiqued my entire way of life.😂 - I'm sitting on my bed -- one leg folded the other hanging off the bed. - As I'm chugging out of a water bottle that I received from an open house. - A roll of tissue is on my bedside table. - I have a vase of artificial flowers on my dresser. - I just yelled for my mother to come and watch the press conference concerning the pandemic. Oh, my. 😫😂
All the things that Anna Bey discusses on this video my mother used to say to me constantly. I thought she was just being mean. I mean these were rules my parents expected us to follow. My husband and his family were shocked by these rules that we were made to follow. I’m so glad I met you. I thought my mom was insane.
On the flowers: It's actually a great thing to support your local florist during this time if you can! With people not being able to go out as often as before some of them have to throw their stock away (a lot also donate but that doesn't profit) and some might even have to give up their company (or at least here they are). Some have set up systems so you can order online and they deliver flowers to your home. Treat yourself or somebody else with some beautiful flowers
You remind me of all the rules my Grandmother brought to my growing up. We seemed to have drifted so far from the elegance you now remind us to renew and embrace.
This would be a good time to do a video on how elegance comes from within. It's not just about looking elegant and behaving in an elegant manner, about buying elegant things and having an elegant home. It's about believing in the value of elegance as an inner quality. This would be a good time to look inward and ask what the true qualities of elegance are.
9:21 "there are two types of people: the minimalist one and the one who likes a lot of stuff around"- yes, and sometimes they are in the same household!
I was raised in the South in the US. Important lessons: A lady never eats, drinks, or smokes while standing or walking. She must SIT DOWN. A lady never drinks straight from a bottle. We NEVER shout for or to someone else in the home unless it's a REAL emergency. If you have something to say to someone else in the home, seek them out. Shouting is not only rude but it can be very startling and adds to the stress level of the person being shouted at AND of the home in general. And it should go without saying that a lady does not pass gas or burp in front of others. If a food or beverage causes you to have excess gas, consider eliminating it from your diet. Anna, your tips are great, and I love the way you present them.
@@tinuke-mo1ke That's a very good question. I do, in a car, or if it's just otherwise unavoidable. But I prefer to sip from a straw rather than turn a bottle up and "glug, glug" as Anna demonstrated. If I'm on the go, I take my beverage of choice from home (or hotel) in a tall insulated cup with a lid and a reusable straw. This is easy to do as most vehicles have built in cup holders. In a restaurant, club, casino, or poolside, if a lady wants to drink a soft drink or a beer and it's served in a bottle, she asks for a glass.
i have roommates who have children and the adults are always shouting 🙄yelling for them to come eat , yelling for them to "come here", yelling for them to stop fighting with eachother ..it's really annoying when im trying to rest or unwind after a day of work . and the house isn't even that big for them to not be able to find the children
@@violettepetals9931 You have my sympathy. If it was the other way around, you might be able to tell the children not to yell for their parents unless it was a real emergency, like someone is sick or hurt. As it's the adults, it's not so easy to resolve. Depending upon your relationship with the adults, you could have a quiet sit down with them and discuss this calmly, but if you have no children of your own, be prepared for them to use that against you. You might then explain, however, that although you know they are right, you were raised in a "no yelling" home and find this very stressful. If they care about you at all, they will try to change their ways, but they will be offended initially. Accept that and don't worry about their feelings. You have your own sanity and peace of mind to protect. Other options are to wear personal ear plugs to help drown out the racket or look for another living situation. Good luck.
Watching your Videos makes me realize, in how a great home I was raised. We had fresh flowers at home every day, because my dad was always buying some for my mom. It was always important how you sit and dress, even if we were just having a family dinner (I didn´t even own a pair of sweatpants for 17 years of my life lol). Also, by limiting Technology in my early years, they did me such a great favor. There was a time, when I was Angry with them for making me practise playing the piano, doing Sports, reading, drawing etc. instead of buying me a Nintendo and letting me Play games like the other Kids. But today, I´m more than grateful.
The “releasing bubbles” had me in stitches 😂 . But it was a cute way of discussing something gross . Hats off though since I probably couldn’t talk about that on camera at all . Or even off camera!
Thank you for the friendly and elegant reminder. I'm guilty of (quite) a few of them, sometimes consciously and sometimes not. I totally agree with you that I should be stricter with myself out of self-respect, and not just striving to be more refined and elegant.
Artificial flowers collect dust, and really look cheap. One long stem Rose or another fresh flower of your choice is much better, makes a great positive statement of beauty, class and elegance.
This is an excellent video, which encourages me to change. The point about eating in front of the television is incredibly important, since staring at screens ad infinitum diminishes the quality of social time with others. Also, I was extremely happy to hear advice on maintaining a neat home. Elegance involves simplicity, something I had never realised before. I thought being elegant meant being rich, which meant having many luxurious possessions. This RU-vid channel has opened my eyes. Thanks!
Hello Anna your videos have really inspired me to make adjustments in life! 😊 I would like to know more about proper behavior when visiting someone else’s home. I find it most important to be proper when visiting a new place or being offered drinks or food and how to respectfully decline or accept. Thank you for your knowledge!
Anna... I really don't like when you say "to drink like a man", as if we had to be indulgent with men. Society may be indulgent towards men but that is wrong, and no woman should allow herself to think that way. We carry the beauty of course, but the basis of elegance is the same for both genders.
My opinion is going to be an unpopular one, perhaps, since not everyone believes in God, and even if they do they might not share my views at all, but anyway, here it comes. I believe men and women were both created to reflect the glory of God in a bit different ways. Personally I think women were created to specifically reflect things like God's beauty, grace, and gentleness. Men were created to reflect things like his strength, justice and rectitude. Not that both genders cannot reflect all of these things, and they absolutely do, but I believe both men and women have it in their nature to specifically act and live in ways that accentuate the things they were made to demonstrate in their "class" of creation, and these things differ a bit. In my view, both genders act the more elegant the more they live true the nature they were given as men and women, and it is slightly different for both. Morals are the same for both.
Ana, I live a rural farming life, I have many outdoor animals, and three young children. I manage and maintain my home. I love to feel put together and feminine, but what is a woman to do when she MUST clean, cook, feed the flock? I am an educated, well-spoken woman but my lifestyle is more hands-on. What would you suggest for "work" clothes in a more domestic life where clothes are likely to be a bit messy by days end?
There will never be a release of “bubbles” from me around my husband or anyone else. As a matter of fact, I had my youngest, a boy, convinced that I NEVER do that. He was actually worried about me because he thought it was extremely unhealthy. He would look at me with such worry and concern over my health. Poor little one.
It's Ok, the point is that what have to be ate in the dining room is eaten on the table... When it's a movie, I think that a mini table, or something where you can put your snacks it's Ok. It makes it fun. It's a mini event lol. Extremes are not good.
I love the idea of always having fresh flowers!!! I have been doing this when special company comes for a visit, but you make me realize that I should do it every week, for my own pleasure. So wonderful, and it makes me feel elegant every day.🥀🌻😘
This is one of my all-time favorite videos, Ana. It was so much fun watching you let your sense of humor take charge! The additional sound effects were hilarious! Let me see how I rate... 1. I always drink from a proper glass or cup. 2. Toilet paper is only used in the appropriate space. But, due to allergies, I do have boxes of Kleenex in practically every room. 3. I am guilty of eating in front of the TV. I live alone. Staring across an otherwise empty table can make one feel a bit lonely. But since I serve my plate in the kitchen, I can still practice portion control. Since I am also a foodie, I am still able to enjoy every bite, despite my chosen entertainment during the meal. 4. I have lived in large houses, and small apartments. In large houses, I did use high quality silk flowers. I could not afford enough fresh flowers to fit the home. In my current small apartment, I use live plants & fresh flowers, only. 5. Ana, you actually skipped from 4 to 6. I will follow suit. 😉 6. I relax in a comfortable recliner, but I remain somewhat ladylike. I've never assumed any of the sitting positions portrayed in the video. 7. The only shouting allowed in my house is if there is some sort of emergency. Otherwise, raised voices are not welcomed. 8. Does not currently apply to me, although I am respectful of neighbors when watching TV or listening to music. 9. Typically, my home is not cluttered. My current residence is, because it is very small and lacking in storage space. I do at least try to keep the clutter neat. 10. For the majority of my life, I was incapable of um, releasing bubbles. It simply never happened. As time has passed, there have been a few sparse occasions when bubbles have erupted, but I make sure they only escape in the same room in which the toilet paper resides. Okay, so how do I rate on the elegance at home scale?
