In Norway from the age of 7 i would walk home from school with my friends at 2 o clock and stay home alone until my parents came home from work. I don't know if its a European thing, but trusting your children to take care of them selves for a few hours is definitely a Scandinavian thing.
It was the same in the U.S. until the 80s or so when the government became too parental, sometimes even taking children away from their parents who were determined to be "neglectful". Also, the rise in kidnappings also.
As a Brit living in Denmark, I must say that Denmark has a lot going for it, otherwise I wouldn't still be here 31 years later :D *_Edit: Now 33 years later_* 😊
@@mikesmith6226 I think a wack upside the head feels the same no matter who is receiving it… It clearly depends on _how_ you discipline your child. In Denmark it is illegal to strike another individual no matter how old they are. That's putting aside defending oneself, of course.
I was born and raised in America, but I'm Danish on my Mother's side of the family. My friends (American) can easily be offended (for example) if they ask, "How does my dress look?" and I respond, "I don't think it is right for you". Often they want you to give the anwer they want to hear rather than an honest answer. It's a cultural thing. I prefer (and I'm used to) direct and honest answers with tact and manners rather than receiving lies... or wondering if the answer given is honest or a lie. Just give me the facts (politely) and I'm happy.
But you know all over the world - if a gf or wife asks you how she looks in her fine dress - if you as her man says yes, nice, they go and redress at once :-) :-)
@@f1nn0 I trust my boyfriend to say what he think. And if he said it looked good. I would wear it. If he said something did not look good. I would usely change it.
@@pavelsmom1089 sure you have scandinavian DNA, still dont make you "danish on your mothers side" claming shit like that is really frowned uppon not just in Denmark but also the rest of Europe.
The spanking thing is really quite simple: It is illegal to hit anyone; if you would get arrested on assault/sexual harasment charges for hitting an adult stranger, you can't hit your children that way. As a Dane myself, it feels so weird that this is not a general thing in the whole world - as if children are lesser versions of humans, with lesser rights.
It surprised me how some Danes have become so foolish that they think any kind of violence is unacceptable. In the matter of self defense violence is the appropriate response to stopping someone from doing harm to yourself or others both if the attack is physical or mentally.
@@sebastianwallin3726, we usually don't look at other people that way, and it's practically never relevant. Perhaps it's because we as a standard trust other people to be kind, that violence is rare in most parts of society. If you go into the world with an aggressive attitude, you are much more likely to meet aggression from others. This is practiced by both private people AND our police force. It has nothing to do with being autistic, but about being a decent human being. We teach children, that it's not okay to hit others, so of course we don't hit them. Practice what you preach. There's also been done a lot of research on the subject, and the conclusion is the same: Hitting children has NO benifits, but it is damaging to both their physical and mental health.
As someone who works with childcare/kindergarten (ages ~2-~6) in Norway, I can add that we not only teach kids that nobody is allowed to hit them. But also that they shouldn't be forced to give hugs etc. It's their body, and they are taught that they should be allowed to limit what happens to it. And that adults should respect that. Uncle/auntie smelly-face might want a hug, but they have no obligation to give them one. :) I believe that part of the desired outcome, is for young people to grow up and be better at handling rejection than the previous generations. And of course, letting them know they don't need to accept abuse.
Yeah, and still, this young generation is the weakest, most useless generation ever. NEVER have I met such pussies, as the millennials in the western world. 😂 Maybe you should stop teaching them to be sensitive, entitled little weaklings?
I never tip (in DK). I think tipping undermines a fair wages system. And besides why tip a waiter or waitress and not a guide, a nurse, a cashier, a lawyer,... Where do you stop? They're all just doing their job.
Un America in particular - it impossible to figure out what is expected! I just told my American friend, "you do the tipping - I'll pay you" - in front of those we had to tip. I think they could here on my accent that I wasn't used to that and everybody found it kinda sweet. I onmy had to tip on my own once - in a pizza place. I told the guy that I was from abroad and I didn't mean to be rude, but that I knew that I wanted to tip him properly but didn't have the slightest idea of how much I was to tip him. So I handed him a bunch of different cash and he took what I hope he found proper. I was surprised that he didn't take anymore and I asked him if that really was enough. He was friendly, laughed and told me that it was fine and to have a good day. I asked my hosts - they weren't in agreement. One said it was fine - the others that it wasn't enough tips. I really liked being in the US!
As a Dane living in the US for 20+ years, I found this one funny: "In the US, it's very common to dress up and be presentable when you go to the grocery store?" When was your last trip to Walmart? :)
@@MyNewDanishLife Yeah, when i visited US first time I think its safe to say that the walmartians stood out. People should dress for the body they have, not for the body they want.
Er det en jysk ting, 🤔 Jeg tænker det med at hilse er = fest 🥳 Tænk at skulle gå rundt til en hel fest og sige pænt goddag Og når alle 50-100menesker har gjordt det er aftenen forbi 😂
T Hansen min familie er ikke jyder... er opvokset lidt uden for kbh, men i min familie har det bare altid været sådan. Men okay min fars familie var også meget "Emma Gad takt og tone"
Also might I add. As a Dane with American friends do not ask a Dane, how they are doing/their day been, without being prepared to actually hear about it - all of it.
😂 exactly! Was so weird in America having to say "I'm great" so often! Great? Well, I guess it just seems awfully self-absorbed and superficial to us, when we're from Denmark
I would love to hear more than "fine" or "great". To me, if they don't say much, they don't want to talk about it. If you really know someone well, they will tell you more.
@@MyNewDanishLife I think, it's a matter of in America, it's a general courtesy. Whereas here in Denmark we default to the weather and reserve the more loaded questions, to those we are acquainted with. So when asked we speak. I find it lovely and have had some great conversations with strangers over the years. Especially elderly folks. Where appropriate of course like say on a public transit - not standing in line at the grocery store at rush hours.
@@markenochsambleben656 @MyNewDanishLife I also struggle when asked "How are you" in North America, I start formulating a more elaborate answer before remembering its just a greeting. On that account I think it also relates to the thing about dressing up for shopping. Keeping up appearances. In Denmark it's okay to be tired because the kids woke up 4 times that night or you slipped on ice on the way and actually hurts a bit.
lived with a couple of British people, and it was weird to told "how do you do" as a greeting, without telling them how I felt :D [EDIT] I live in Copenhagen
As a Dutch from Holland I live in Danmark for 6 years now. Denmark and Holland are not that different. But I want to add things I really like in DK. When you meet some new people, and start a conversation, you never ask what they do for work and how much money they earn. That is very unpolite and not done. In the region where I live (North Jutland) it is also a custom to leave your shoes at the door when entering a danish house. It is unpolite to keep your shoes on and walk thru the room and house. And yess I love Danmark and its people 💕
I know I'm late but still... Asking people what they do for a living or how much they make, is really not due to politeness, we actually doesn't give a shit about it. 😊❤️🇩🇰
8 and 9 / It is actually very logical that you do not show up at work sick, an employer wants you to stay home so you do not send other employees home sick, so many employers do not see someone coming to work sick as a hero, but more as a fool who do not understand the damage they can do ..
It is logical. Employers in the US (at least my employer) put posters in staff areas that tell employees to stay home if they're sick and management might even tell employees that, but they don't actually mean it.
working in usa for 45 years not one employer encouraged an employee to stay home due to illness. working in medical field some insisted you came to work anyway even if youre sick
I'm happy paying All those taxes in DK, for me it's like buying my way out of worries. Or it's also like putting my money in the bank where I could withdraw it whenever I'm in need. And I'm talking about not worrying when I get sick or needs operation and all the things an illness brings or worrying about my kid's education. So yeah I'm grateful I live in 🇩🇰.
@@persimonsen8792 totally true. We don't have to set up a "gofundme" acct. I don't have to beg for help, since I know that I'm depositing in my "bank".
@@mesj3798 But again, it's just the danish (scandinavian & n europe) way of doing things. Ask Bernie Sanders every time there is an election over there.
The first day in kindergarten my mother followed me and introduced me to the caretakers, and then she picked me up and we walked home. Every day since that first day I was on my own. It's just the way it's done here.
@@DuffyHimself Yea, I also arrive early, then the other people have to go to greet me. When I was a teenager I would sometimes go to the Toilet during the greeting session.
@@tooslownotfast Nope, I do it too, as do some of my friends. We absolutely hate it. It's stiff and fake and noone can remember all those names anyway. It's an antiquated custom that should be disposed of.
When I was in Denmark visiting my father's family I fractured my elbow. Didn't cost a thing to go to the hospital and they even gave me the xrays to take back to America to show the Orthopedic surgeon, which charged me thousands!
@@MyNewDanishLife ,No! It’s not weird at all in all western countries EXCEPT the United States. Healthcare is seen as a right just like education or having the fire services show up for free if your house is burning down, or the police investigating a robbery free of charge etc.
To those people who have trouble greeting in person at a party. If you are among friends and family at a party, and have trouble greeting everyone personally when you arrive, then you must tell them that you have a problem with it. And if all are decent people, then they will all understand and respect you. I am 61 years old, and in my childhood and youth, mental illness was taboo, and not something one talked about, as something positive. I got sick as an adult and it has caused me to sometimes get social anxiety, and can trigger panic anxiety attacks. I told both my friends and family how I sometimes feel that I can have these seizures once in a while. And they respect me if I have to cancel an appointment if I get it too bad. The more you talk openly about your problems, the less they become taboo and the better you get it with yourself, so your symptoms become less over time. :)
If it's just the closest relatives in a small group then the greeting round is not usually done I think? But at larger parties with more distant relatives and their friends it can be difficult to communicate to all that you'd rather skip it. I agree that if it's due to mental health issues it’s different. I too suffer from social fobia and anxiety so I know the dilemma. I tend to go through it rather than spending a long evening afraid that someone was offended that I didn't.
For your first part about the party, a good tip if you are going to a party where you expect to not know most of the people attending is to come early, because then you don't have to go around to everyone, then everyone will come to you instead :) That also means that you repeating your name will be spread out a lot more as people tend to not all come at the same time ;)
Not entirely true. We have both private and public hospitals. You can still be bankrupted if you choose to go to a private hospital in stead of a publicly funded one when you can't afford it.
And why not? Because in Denmark you will have spent tons of money throughout your life so you won't get bankrupt by a hospital bill. So in the end you spent way more money in Denmark than you would have in the US, its just overtime instead of all at once.
@@d29i I know what bankruptcy means mate. My point is simply that in Denmark, on average, you will have spent much more money throughout the years in taxes than you would have on a one-time payment from a hospital bill in the US
Most Americans don't think these things are strange, just different. The majority of Americans actually agree with things like universal healthcare, but our government is literal shit. I hope things will change here soon.
Just a few jumbled thoughts... - I hate the handshake round at parties! In fact I think most - especially younger - people do, it’s just that it's customary. 🤦♀️ - I think you don't feel the high taxes as much beacause you know that what goes into your account is just what you have every month. And then you don't have to worry about having to pay a fortune for health problems, education, and other vital things. We also have higher wages in many areas, so... 🤷♀️ - You can get fired for being sick, but in general you have to be (legitimately) sick for 120 days within a year before it can be used as legal grounds. And taking time off because of your baby...well, we have a one year maternity leave. 😏 - You only get the first day off when your child is sick. It's to help you arrange for a sitter and such. - I love that we don't beat around the bush when addressing a problem. That's the quickest way to fix it. Just say what you mean (but please say it in a friendly/well mannered/diplomatic way - noone likes a bully). As always a really good video. 💜
@@hesselvanderkooij4825 That is the time-tested way of avoiding having to do "the round" XD Though I remember it being a very Jutlandish tradition. I don't really remember doing that a lot while I lived in Copenhagen as a child. Perhaps it was because I was a child and could just run over to my cousins and play. Imagine my shock as a fairly shy individual of having to go "the round" with my husband the first time we went to a family party. I had no clue it was a thing until he started doing it and I just had to follow along and do the same. XD
State employees actually gets to first two days off with a sick child. Or we can at least if permitted by our boss, it is not a right really, but we are allowed if work permits it. It usually does though. :)
Getting to the point is something I appreciate and my friends do as well, we call it: "Kalde en skovl for en skovl og en spade for en spade" Where we are very blunt to each other and say if we dont like what others are doing/saying, some dont like it, but hey if people dont like me I dont mind them telling me, I just want the right to respond in kind, and 20 minutes later, we are still friends.
Yes - but as a Dane you must be aware that by this very direct indictment - which Danes prefer as a very natural thing - you can insult people from other cultures - without wanting to.
@@thrustsst As a Dane living in France, I learned that the hard way... I made enemies without even being aware of it! The French culture is an extremely implicit culture, and they spend so much time on formalities and smalltalk before getting down to business. If there is a problem of any kind, the amount of time spent on beating around the bush is excruciating sometimes. I have had to apologise so many times for going straight to the point, insisting that no insults were intended, that it is just the "rowdy northman" in me who is still learning the ways of the French :-)
@@grantofat6438It's been two months since i moved to Denmark from Greece.I will tell something,i came here with a clean criminal record,with qualifications,i did extensive research on Danish society prior,im learning Danish since the day i set my foot to the country and i try to integrate in the Danish society and prosper.If foreigners respected the Danes and their ways of conduct,looked to prosper through hard work and not state benefits ,i think they wouldn't cause any trouble and the danes wouldn't have any problems either cause they are mostly inviting and polite people.Of course there must be a limit of how many foreigners a country can handle and integrate so as to not alter the ethnic characteristics of the locals.What i dont understand is foreigners from eastern Europe,Africa,the middle east come to Denmark to enforce their failed system of beliefs,conduct and don't adopt.Isnt this this failed country,beliefs,conduct that you tried to escape by moving to Denmark in the first place?why continue the same route or in sometimes try to force your way of life to local Danes?
@@GKOSTASINS Welcome here, you got the right spirit..! Why move to a country and try to change it? it does not make sense anyhow that`s what we see with the muselman and their "religion" which is really a political system set to enforce social control like in the middelages. We have a danish writer called H.C. Andersen who in his time (18xx) traveled through Europe and Turkey and he said "follow the country's customs or leave" which I also use my self when traveling. If you dont like the way people are and behave and the countrys rules, laws and customs then probably you find your self in the wrong country. In Denmark we love freedom and that includes that women are free and that we have freedom of speech. Generally it is wrong to burn books, like the Koran but if you cannot tolerate to see that you are not a democrat and does not belong in the west at all..! Hope you have a good life here Kostasins
I had the reverse shock of every single one of those points when I as an East European went to the US for three years. 1. Yeah, it was weird go to a social event or a party and not knowing a lot of the people who were in the same room with me. 2. In the US one can get arrested for many different things that would shock the average European. Oh, and kids can be arrested too, which is outrageous. In the US any police officer can arrest a person, it's up to his/her decision. Here they don't have that right. If the situation requires it, if the said person poses a danger, they can detain him for 24 hours but no arrests can happen without the approval of a judge. And yes, without all the guns in everyone's hands we can actually raise autonomous children who don't have to be afraid when walking on the streets. 3. Americans do quite a few things just because they feel that they're supposed to. Dressing up with makeup is one of them. 4. I got some bad news for you. In 19 states in the US it's legal to beat children in schools. They do it methodically in an almost ritualized way, giving paddle swats. Yes, schools actually keep an implement to hit children with. The US is the only country in what we call the Western civilized world that does that. And spanking being frowned upon... it depends on the region. All I can say, it's not frowned upon at all in the Bible Belt or in the Midwest. And I'm not speaking about love taps either. 5. Oh God.... the omnipresent allusions, innuendos, fine hints and indirect suggestions ... I never got them and I never understood why can't people simply tell what they want or what's bothering them? It's called verbal communication folks! Language... that shit... it was created to convey meaning, to formulate a message. Why on Earth would people then hide that message behind this thick curtain of awkward quasi-polite roundabout way of speaking? 6. I had my first icy shock (pun intended) on the plane. My teeth froze painfully, my throat hurt and I was just.... arrrrgh... I mean, I asked for a drink, not a shitload of ice!!! The flight attendant literally filled my cup with ice to the brim and then poured drink in whatever space was left. 7. You remember the Beatles song "...all the lonely people, where do they all come from?" (Eleanor Rigby). 8. The work fetish that characterizes the US was always shocking to me. Try to watch American news TV for an entire day and count how many times you hear the words "hard working" to describe someone. We're also hard workers here in Europe, but we always put society as a whole and people's lives before profit. A happy worker is a hard worker. A healthy worker is a good worker. A stress-free worker is a good worker. What's the use of increasing profits if in the meantime we lose our humanity? I always wondered how can American bosses sleep at night after they fire someone for being sick? I guess if everyone around them does the same thing , they end up not even thinking about it. It's just normal to them. 9 and 10. I suppose a few more generations will pass before Americans will reject perfectly normal and reasonable things that happen to work everywhere in the free and civilized world, just because some people label them as "socialism" (most have no idea what the eff that means, they only know that it's bad, ungodly and un-American). It never stops amazing me how perfectly reasonable people are so adamantly against their own best interest, just because some rich fat bastards invented an ideology. It's like they live in this refined Stockholm syndrome where they are cheering for the very people who hurt them the most. If they could somehow forget those ideologies and labels ("socialism") they would see the obvious: a healthy and well educated society is simply better for everyone. We're in this shit together, we should make our country and our society work together. Words such as "community" should mean something that goes far beyond charity and acts of kindness. If my neighbors are healthier, it's better for me too. If more people in my country get the best education they can get, it's better for me too, because they will make a better society, a safer and a more advanced society! How on Earth can anyone think that education should be a function of money?
Dude and being "conservative" got hijacked to mean being a freaking fascist maniac. I agree with you about the ice and socialism. The US is crazy about ice and people actually expect their drink to mostly be ice! I tell you the USA is a tycoon's dream! Fare wages? Socialist! Healthcare? Socialist! Clean water? Education? COMMUNIST! Labor unions? TRAITORS! The rich might enjoy it now but for real people can only take so much of being told "take the pain and be a true patriot!" while they are driven off in their giant car. It's like a certain headless royal feasting while the people outside starved, crazy stuff happens. I am sorry your time in my country was not so great. The employers here are starting to have labor shortages so hopefully, they will wake up to the needs of the people.
@@DROIDFARM I didn't became an America hater. I'm actually grateful for the three years that I got to spend there. And yes, there are many things that the US does really well, things that we could and should learn. I guess my ultimate conclusion is that while there are a handful of really bad places on this planet, on the other end there is no such thing as "the greatest country". Everywhere is good from a certain point of view, everywhere is bad from other points of view. Every society is a jungle, I happen to have no map or compass for the American jungle and if I had to live there and call that place my home it would be painful and a struggle. My country, Romania is considerably less rich and less developed but here I do have perspective, opportunity, community and I can certainly navigate its jungle.
@@ferencercseyravasz7301 good points all! I have traveled to multiple countries and lived in some for a while and I can see what you are saying. Is there anything you miss about the United States 🇺🇸 ?
@@DROIDFARM Mainly my American friends. The wide choice of international cuisine (as I love to cook), the lack of bureaucracy. I miss walking on the NDU campus, I miss Boston and Chicago... just to name a few.
@@ferencercseyravasz7301 I agree. Every country does things different and better than the other in some way. Personally, I don’t put ice in my drinks. Obviously your drink will taste watery.
In Denmark generally, you won't get judged on how you dress, set your hair or if you are wearing makeup... You will however be judged on how you behave and interact with other people (like the employees at a grocery store)
As for the ice in the drinks - yes, you do get ice in your drinks here. in the US they seem to think "A large Coke" means "a glass of ice with a bit of Coke" as opposed to a "a glass of Coke with a bit of ice". It always annoys me when I'm in the US and I specifically ask the server to dial the amount ice back to a minimum.
At least many pålaces there(that I know of) they do refill with out charce. But I have only tried a couple of places. So it may be different from place to place.
Prefer cold coke with no ice, but really if you add ice to any liquid that you are going to drink you need to use a lot, as then it does not melt as fast so that way you actually get less water from the ice into whatever you are drinking. Of cause it's also cheaper to serve a lot of ice than the actual product you order. Unless you order water ofcause!
The editor in chief for the book I was just published in, is from Copenhagen. He was so good at making everyone feel welcome, and drawing them out to participate. It was respectful and amazing!
As a dane, i agree with the "being direct" thing. My American friends would always try and do those things when we were together. I would always get straight to the point, and they would be mildly confused and think I was being rude, but no other danes thought I was rude, cause that's just the culture. Conveniently, someone was being loud outside my apartment whilst writing this, I just opened the window and yelled at them to "Shut up"
In America, parents get arrested for letting their children be alone but not for spanking them. Seems insane to us and I am so happy it is the other way around in Denmark. Spanking is abuse and violence and of course, we teach children that they should not accept this. Everyone should know their rights children including
spanking isnt abuse??? As a childe, I’ve always fancied the physical ass whooping of my dad to my ma ignoring me for weeks, taking away my technology and source of comfort (especially since im not allowed to hang out with friends after school) which just left me even more angry, lonely and insecure :(
@@soupy3481 not bring allowed friends after school is Also a kind osf abuses. Like what the fuck it is your time. You should not be isolated. Sneak out
@@soupy3481, the problem seems to be that there's a LOT of focus in the US on punishment. In Denmark the focus is on inprovement. We don't want to punish people, but we want to help them do better. So grounding a child makes no sense, because that's just punishing them, it doesn't solve anything. If a child is sent to their room it's probably to give everyone a little time to breathe before talking about what went wrong and what we can do about it. I'm sorry, but what your parents did to you was abuse, just in two different ways. Neither way is okay. It is however okay to admit to yourself, that people close to you made some terrible decisions, because they didn't know better. If you know better, you do better. We don't "spank" our children, because it IS a violent act towards them. If you do it to another adult it's a criminal offense. If you do it to a random child it's a criminal offense. Why should it be any different just because it's your own child? Your child has the right to a life without violence. This includes violence from the people, who they depend on. Violence doesn't build trust. Love and good communication do.
When I don't ride my bike to work, I'll take the metro and S trains. And I'll see kids taking them as well all the time often they go two together but not always it's perfectly fine.
I have to disagree with u on something. Now the law here has it where children can call law enforcement on their parents n have their parents arrested. I don't know of your religious beliefs and I'm not trying to enforce mine onto you. "Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are older they will not depart from it". I worked with small children for over 30 yrs. I knew of children who had the kindest of parents never been spanked and they were not only disrespectful to their caregivers but you their parents as well . I'm 57 spanked only a couple of times when I was a child. I've never gotten into trouble at school...I grew up in a single parent household, I was taught to be respectful, and do what I was told...children need boundaries...discipline doesn't always mean spankings. My mom is now 87 and now I take care of her because of the sacrifices she made to raise her kids!
I love Danmark 🇩🇰the system cares about uplifting humanity fx. Clean water for all, Healthcare for all, Maternity for all, free education for all plus more others not aware. Might be the cause of straight forward lifestyle......
I am giving you a like (but i would had giving you two likes if possible) for spelling my country's name properly with an A instead of the stupid ''e'' which for some odd reason are popular with the english tongue, which i find to be an insult to us Danes and our beautiful country, who has giving so much to the world to enjoy today. But you clearly have what it takes to make sure the Danish culture prevails, and lives on into the future. Something which all english people should learn, including those cosmopolitan 'denes' from 'copenhagen'
@@Hrorikr Tak, thank you for important information about spelling mistake point noted. l learnt how to spell it correct after going to language school in Danmark(Sprogcenter, free education, free books and writing materials available for all) We learn everyday and unlearn our old way of speaking, writing and reading not easy but can be done with tålmodighed, det er svært.
How you describe children walking to and from school and being safe on the playground reminds me of my childhood in the south! We never needed to worry. By the way, I am 73!
I laughed at number 3. That's true, also for men. I can easily walk to my local supermarket on a Sunday morning, in my relaxed clothes, and have morning hair ;) Then the cashier and I get a good laugh, and joke along, about if it's been a hard-fun/long night.😂 Danish smalltalk in a nutshell.
Dane here. I do the impossible thing of avoiding to go around introducing myself at parties. I smile, raise a hand, glance quickly at everybody and say Hi. Sometimes, if I know almost noone, I've also added something like "I so much hate going the round, so I won't do that", of course in a very light tone. People actually smile appreciatively, and I just know that they feel the same. To me it's more awkward to go the round.
I started doing kinda the same thing after I went to a easter party with my sisters boyfriends family, my family and friends etc. and I went over to a group of people who were all 2 meter. I introduced myself saying nice to meet you and who they came with. Then they hit me with the “you have grown so much” then it was my cousins and so on. Never again I tell ya.
That is what I was thinking, the American way sounds like the most passive aggressive thing I've ever heard :-O Weird how being polite in one country is being rude in an other, and vise versa.
Getting straight to the point I have had to explain more than once that it's not to be rude that we are blunt - on the contrary! Why waste time and energy to circle around the matter if we can get along just as fine or better if we just speak our mind? 🤔 I mean - why wouldn't I trust your good intention, and if I'm being too straight forward, why should I have to worry that you don't tell me if I wrong you? 😄 That's a very Danish way to move about in the world!
@@jimmybaldbird3853 True indeed - but what triggers those emotions also depends on what culture you're socialised into, if straightforwardness is what you are accustomed there's little cognitive dissonance associated with it in the same way that in a public setting the f word is not generally considered as appalling to the average Dane as it is to the average American. There's a high degree of trust among Danes and a high degree of tacit knowledge about what it means to go straight to the point making it communally perceived the most considerate way to approach the effort to reach concord. So your understanding of what causes which human emotions has a cultural bias to it not always readily translatable into other cultural contexts.
@@jimmybaldbird3853 How you like to twist it is up to you - get straight to the point! If she asks you if this outfit makes her look fat, she's asking if she looked better in this or the other. Nobody said being direct meant being stupid - you're supposed to be thinking about what, more than when you're circling around the drain! Getting to the point takes precision - not shooting blindly or aimlessly. But please do as you like, as long as you can trust your own good intentions it shouldn't be hard for you to explain yourself if you miss the point. Happy Easter! 💚
On the spainking. I think the key is "It was never like that for me"... But it was like that for some, many actually - and that's why laws has come into place.
No - the key is: 1. Imagine a person twice your size smacking you in any way shape or form. How would that make you feel. Totally powerless? Humiliated? Would you trust that person to have your best interest at heart? 2. Would you confide in that person after that smacking? Would you tell them "I did this bad thing and now I don't know how to fix it" 3. Never mind actually hitting you, just imagine this person threatening you..... Repeat the same questions And we are talking about kids here, they can't just go out and find better parents. They are hard wired to bond with their parents, imagine how fucked up their minds get with these mixed signals. I love you but I will fuck you up if do stuff wrong.
@@mysmirandam.6618 i was born in moldova Here education can envolve your parents screaming and you and hit you with a belt or diferent objects. Im now 18 and going for Denmark and I have never been traumatized
@@bogdancociurca7856 you probably are in some way you just dont know it until I knew there was another way i didnt discover thats where my emotional problems stemmed from
Thanks Kelly for the nice video. :) As a comparison, health care is taxpayer funded here in Canada as well. In other words, it is"free" here too. It is a good feeling to know that if people get really sick or injured that they will not have to worry about the costs. Post secondary education is heavily subsidized by the government. Depending on the province and the program of studies offered, students will pay some tuition.
What I try, and often times it is try, to tell americans who don't understand that universal healthcare stuff and high taxes is. If the americans take what they pay in insurance and have in copay expenses, and put that on top of their taxes, their tax rate isnt that far off what people pay in Denmark. If you earn 40k a year and you pay 400$ a month in health insurance you are paying 12% of your income a year, and if you put that 12% in taxes, you could cover yourself and help your friends co-workers etc, and then perhaps even not having to have a co-pay on top as well, so you would save that. But it is hard to get some people to figure that out themself.
@@bazzakrak It is so ingrained in the American way of thinking that "job" and "healthcare" goes together that most just can't comprehend any other way.
All your points would also apply to Germany except for the last one. In Germany we get a near free University education. We only have to pay 300-400 € per semester. But this semester fee also contains lots of additional services like a free semester ticket for public transportation, almost free meals at the cafeterias etc. But we don’t get paid for studying at a University. That’s something unique to Denmark. 😄
The stipend S.U., Statens uddannelsesstøøe, or The State's Education support, is a five-year monthly stipend. It has four categories, belov and above 18 years of age, and living with your parents or by yourself. For a person of at laest 18 years of age living alone, the stipend is very close to $1.000,- gross a month. The Danish tax system is a bit complicated, but you have a monthly tax-free allowance of appr. $600,- and pay 38% tax from the rest, so the net stipend will be $600,- + 0.62 x $400,- = appr. $850,- a month. That might sound like a lot, but universities are located in the metropoles, and the number of dorms are way too low, and thus the rent is high and easily takes half the net stipend, if not 2/3. There is a 25% VAT on all gods and services, so working while studying is very common. It is difficult not to eat for at lest, say, $250,- a month.
@@sneakyfox4651 Oh okay, so the Education support is more a financial support which enables students to study as otherwise they wouldn’t be able to afford it. Then we have something similar to that which is called BAföG in Germany. Not everyone has a right to claim it as it also depends on the financial situation of the parents etc. And as rents are also quite high in Germany - a normal university dorms rent is ca. 400-500 € per month - many students also have to work while studying.
@@amandaziccatti6195 Yes. It's more support than it's a "salary" for studying. If you are very, very lucky and find a cheap room, it might be possible to study without working, but I think it's next to impossible. A generation ago it was easier, even possible. The SU was lower, but so were food prices and rents. My niece will graduate from university this summer. I don't know that much about her economy, but I know that she worked throughout most of her studies, however, also to finance two semesters away from Europe ( to South America).
I think you're video was great. I'm a Dane who moved to the US 7 years ago. I'm here for the opportunities this country gives me as an adult, not as a young or old person. People in the US have no clue what they could get for their tax dollars.
@@MyNewDanishLife Sorry for late answer since I haven´t seen this upload until now. Well take education. You already know that you won´t have to worry about your children in that area. But did you know that they can actually get another education later in life if they need to for, say, health reasons, and that you personally can too? And still you will receive money to live for. The unemployment system nowadays require that if you are outside a job, you join a program where they will try to get you back at work as fast as possible. Of course. But if you are somehow incapacitated permanently in a way that will not allow you to continue in your present line of education and work, you have the option of either a bachelor degree or a trade school as long as it doesn´t take more than 3 and a half year in total in a field that you will be able to handle and would be interested in since you cannot continue the old one. It is also available if your line of work no longer exist (which actually happens sometimes) and you need to change your line of work for that reason.
I was walking home from school on my own after maybe the first day there. I had a club near my home I could go to after school, but it wasn't required, and I could just go home and be on my own until my parents came home. No biggie :)
The first one; that’s why we want to be one of the first people to get there, cause then it’s the others who has to come to you Number two; I was six years old when my mother send me to the bus to school, and I walked alone (or with friends) from the bus and home. And no! We don’t have that school bus who’s stopping outside our house. We have to walk to a bus stop
While this is true, workplaces in Denmark generally dont need a reason to fire people, they can just say: "you dont fit in, you're fired". If you are able to prove that they fired you for being sick that is another case, but unless they fire you during a longer sick leave, or specificly says to you: "you are fired because you are sick", you cant really prove they fire you for being sick. You can get fired if you have more than 120 sick days during a year, and if you have lets say 4 months sick leave and get fired the 4 months can get substracted from your notice period.
Obviously they can fire them due to injuries in some cases, for example my mom got a new job because her legs have a problem (It hurts when she walks or sits up) She was a janitor, so it wasnt very practical having to walk a lot. Although that is different for sure, as it physically hurts for those people
@Ida Riis Jørgensen. Hvis ikke at man arbejder under funktionærloven eller en overenskomst, så kan man uden problemer blive fyret under sygdom. Der er ikke nogen lov i mod det. Meget af den beskyttelse, som danske arbejdstagere har, er bestemt ved en overenskomst, det er det vi kalder "den Danske model" og det er derfor at det er vigtigt at være medlem af den fagforening som har overenskomsten.
They can do it. But it's after something like 120 consecutive sick days and they are required to try to solve any problems first and help their employee get back to work.
I had to laugh about the ice. When I moved to Danmark in 06', I was surprised that my beverage didn't have ice and many times it was room temperature. When visiting a friend she offered a beverage and then asked if I would like ice but she said she was a bit embarrassed because she bought a bag of ice cubes from the store. I found that very odd but then being from the US ice is as common as air. I have noticed over the years that ice is becoming more common here and I always have ice cube trays in the freezer because I love icy cold drinks! lol I remember (pre-COVID) the handshaking and saying my name over and over and thinking the same you did that I would never remember everyone's name. Also my first time dancing around a Christmas tree was interesting, I didn't know the song but I danced! Great video, thanks! Oh, you forgot one thing that I found very strange when I first came here, leaving your baby in the carriage outside of the restaurant or store you were in winter or summer, now I don't give it a second thought.
When I was a kid back in the 70's I travelled 50 km to school by bus on my own - starting from second grade. I had to change bus a few times on the way but that wasn't an issue. It's simply the way things are here. Leaving a toddler in a pram outside unattended isn't a problem either.
"Aaaaw, I feel this strange pain in my foot, I wonder what it could be" Had me crying with laughter :D :D Thanks for that one hahaha. And its true, at least for most Danes and especially males. Myself included.. We don't like to waste time guessing stuff, if we don't absolutely have to haha.
Im danish here. First I want to say that you make some good videos, but in this case i have to correct you on some misunderstandings. 1: Entering party and greeting people. yes thats correct when you enter a party, mostly a more formal party like a wedding, or a big bithday party where you dont really know all the people. Then its a formal and nice way to meet and greed people that attending the party, both for the host, so he/she or they know you are there, and next to greed the rest of the people. but for small family parties or friends parties where you only are a small gathering, then its totaly fine to to yell hi, or even dont greed all. 2: Kids at the age of 10 or older are allowd to stay on school area, cause there most likely is an after school club for kids from x class to x class and another club for older kids at the older classes. there is no law probhitting kids to stay after school, but its recrumentet that ether the kids go home by them selfs, or are followd by a sibling, or they go to the after school clubs until their parrents can take the kids home. its due to most people in denmark intendt to have both mom and dad having jobs and jobs normaly go from 8 am to 4 pm, and most schools "open" from 8 am to 3 maybe 4 pm at some classes. So the parrents have no chance to get the children in time, unless they skip work everyday. but the rest is pretty correct. 3: Thats totaly correct 4: Spanking kids in Denmark is illeagal, but it still happends in private homes tho. I was spanked as a kid, cause i deserved it haha.. Im 34 now. But yea its highly illeagal to hurt, spank or do some harm to a kid. But i think it was leagal for teachers to spank kids in school up to like 1960's or some like that. 5: Correct again, go straight to the point instead of go round in circles to go to the point. 6: Thats kinda wrong. you get ice in mose places when you order a drink, soft drinks as soda or hard drinks with alcohol in it, you are 90% sure thats ice in it. where you dont expect to get ice in your drink is sparkling water also called danskvand, or regular tap / bottle water, beer and wine. As written multiple times on the other comments, then you can simply just ask for tap water, with no ice, or just a glas and go fill your glass up your self. Cause they cant charge you for tap water unless they have put ice, lemon or made some kind of serving to you with the water. 7: That intirely depends where you work.. Some places dont have that, and other places have morning gatherings every morning, som have them every thursday and some on fridays. You are totaly allowd to say no and go to your desk and work. But its polite to go with the flow and intend the gathering with your co-workers, and have a good time. And why not intend them most of them are paid "work time" while eating. 8: totaly correct to. Nothing to say to that point. 9: Correct again, some work places even have a health care insurance on their own, so if you need dental care, chiropratic adjugements then you dont have to pay for treatment. 10: Correct again Danish students are spoiled.. But to say that, some educations are not in the SU system, and there some laws that state some where you have to buy your own books and such, but in general then yes. Most like 90% of all educations are paid by the tax system, so everybody have equal oppotunity to get educated to same degree. Hope you dont take it personal, i just wanted to adress some of what you said can vary from place to place according to where in Denmark you live. But general you make great videos about living in Denmark.
11. It is easier from a legal standpoint to say no spanking at all, than having a degree of seriousness which can then be debated in court. Especially as u grew up in a healthy family. Many didn't.
Er det ikke lidt fornærmende over for den anden person, når du snakker rundt om din pointe i stedet for kom til med det samme. Fordi man spiller jo bare begge personer tid og det kan virke som om man snakker ned til den anden.
as a dane... I cant leave my house without people looking at my hair or tattoos... so as long as you look "normal" it's okay, if you stik out you get the look
That's the thing, I'm a person with alternative fashion, from the US, I get comments and looks already so it's nothing I'm not used to, but people really make a big deal out of tattoos/piercings?
I am so glad that I’ve found your channel ! I’m about to move there in January , next year, and these info are gold👌🏼 my family lives in Denmark, so I hope I’ll do ok there 😁
I am sure you will have a fantastic time! Feel free to share my videos with others, so they get an idea of what you'll be going through! LOL :) It is nice to have people supporting you when you make a big move! Good luck!
@@muller-petersenfamily8499 Does everybody in New Jersey get free health care and college education? You know, the relation between taxes and public spending on these things would remain the same regardless of the size of the state. More people just means more tax payers.
As an elderly American, I remember walking with my friends, without parents with us, miles from home. It seems that the US is a very dangerous place now. I moved from New York to the US Virgin Islands in 1990, and now live in the Dutch Caribbean, so I am not really up to date of daily life in the US. Sadly, I fear returning to the US.
The US is a dangerous place to live because of your crazy gun laws--or should I say lack of gun laws. When people can be shot dead in schools, shopping malls, sports halls , churches , and even in their own homes , by people breaking in, then nowhere is safe..London is the only dangerous place in Britain, and the danger is confined to young people carrying kitchen knives, as our gun laws are very strict , and young people cannot get guns--only knives.
Copenhagen was a charming place, clean and orderly. We lived there for 1 year several years ago. People at my childs' school so kind and helpful and while we didn't get to know anyone closely, and no one ever invited us to their homes, it was still a wonderful experience. We would not want to live there forever, but just to experience a different culture, the trains, boats, history and nice parks, were what we remember most. (We had a flat on the 4th floor with no elevator and so we were all very fit and thin that year!!)
No 1, so true - especially if its ppl you have never heard off or met.. it is must to greet each person. Also frustrating to say bye to each person when leaving, especially if its ppl you see on a regular basis. But I was taught to be nice and show respect, its called manners..
I am born I Denmark in 1958. When I was 5 years old . I take the train to Copenhagen. No problems. We learn to deal with the world in early age back then .
My daughter is 10 and I like to walk with her to school, but we also live in the middle of Copenhagen with alot of traffic in the morning (bikes everywhere), but she comes home by herself (and have done this for two years)...
I would walk alone to school from week two or something, age 6. My mom would watch me cross the street from the house and from there it was just following the sidewalk. Week two, she had seen me check for cars often enough to trust me and go to work. My dad would have left before I even got up.
You forgot that it's considered normal (and actually good for them) if babies take their naps outside. Of course they are dressed for the weather. It's also safe to leave them in their carriage outside, when you go into a store og even go to a café. Usually you can get a table by the window, and if needed, you can breastfeed baby without too much trouble. There will always be offended people, but Danes are usually pretty relaxed about those things. Most of us don't think children should be protected from the serious parts of life. Therefore children visit people at the hospital, go to both weddings and funerals, and are encouraged to ask questions. This is also why a lot of us get the sex-talk at home AND in school (no purity-talk!). Most of us have our first sexual experiences in our bedrooms, and it's completely normal to have your girlfriend/boyfried sleep over. We're also on first name with their parents, and with our friends' parents. I love living here, and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
Regarding spanking and telling kids about their rights. Read some first hand stories from people who were beaten as kids. The feel alone, feel ashamed or think it's just normal. I wasn't beaten, but I guess telling the kids about their rights is a way of giving those who are abused a feeling that its not something they just have to endure and let fester. That they actually habi rights
@@hrleif8994 I was talking about why they educate the kids about it, so those who ARE beaten/being abused know it's not something they are meant to endure.
@@f1nn0 and Hjorth87: Personal story: My dad returned to school after having the mumps (fåresyge). On the first day back his teacher slapped his head/ear. He became deaf in one ear! That was an "education slap". The kids need to know that NO form of violence is EVER ok and that this goes for when they're grown ups as well.
Same - I was like "that's not true". I have seen places serve bottled water, but with a glass with ice on the side. I believe that it's illegal to sell water without ice, but I could be wrong
@@michellejensen98 it's not illegal, but if they want to charge for tap water they have to serve with ice, otherwise they're no allowed to charge for it
@@n9nnascreativeandrandomstu858 Oh right - It's a rights thing then? I really don't know/remember. I just know, that's it's not allowed to do it with tap water
Among all videos that taught me about Denmark, this is the best so far! I am moving to Denmark soon for my master's. I hope this channel and its content will be more helpful to me.
I´ve lived in Denmark for 33 years and the one thing which shocked me when I first got a job here, was that when it´s your birthday, YOU are expected to provide cake for everyone else! In the UK it´s your colleagues who provide cake for you...
In the 1970s a new Danish word emerged that would describe the kids who had to go home to an empty flat or house after school because their parents were at work. The word is “nøglebarn” and refers to the key which they would have on a piece of string around their neck so they wouldn’t lose it.
Regarding the "looking nice" for the store, etc... I will somewhat miss masking days when it's over. I look so much better with my mouth covered. Lol. Just brush my hair, put a little eye make up on and I save time on over half my face not to mention money on make up.
You should watch the movie “Drømmen”. Gives a great insight into respressive school authority in the 60s and 70s. Helps better understand the complete distancing from corporal punishment in Denmark. You may have not had negative experiences with it growing up, but I assure you many both in the US and Denmark have.
Teaching school children about their rights is not about you as an American mum padding her child on the butt, its more about to give those children that get abused a voice (if it helps is another thing) I am not sure if there is a law prohibiting to take your 24 year old (or younger) child to university (school). Its more a way to prevent schoolkids to bully the child. Danish school always has been about teaching children to be independent and taking responsibilities for their own action. While the American system almost is teaching the opposite. Something you as well later will find at work I guess most of the world goes with the "Danish" model, when it comes to sick leave. After all a sick person, as seen here under Covid 19, easily can give his/hers illness on to other coworker. If the entire work place is sick, it either has to close or work at lower volume making it cheaper to give one person free for one day. The same with maternal leave, even in some of the worlds most poorest countries you get weeks of by law of that country (though it might be unpaid). USA does not have such a federal law.
I live in CPH and we always get ice in a glass and your soda bottle next to it, if you're at a cafe or a restaurant. Maybe it's a "jylland/sjælland" thing. :D
When I was living in France my American friends and family would visit and complain about not getting ice in their drinks. When I was visiting the US with French friends they would complain that drinks were filled with ice rather than the actual drink. :)
In Denmark we don't like add break's or commercials. We simply don't accept 4 commercials in at 20 minute video. We do add break's before and after. Or sometimes in the middle of it's a long movie or interview I. The excess of more than one hour!
We do get what people are Trying to say when they "spiral" round a point, we just find it insincere and manipulative to not be direct and so sometimes we May chose to ignore the (already understood) point out of spite 😜 At least that's what I think Will sometimes happen
We SO ignore the point out of spite! It's annoying that people spend forever trying ti say something, when they could just ask. But it's great to be able to tell the drunk idiot at the buss to shut up and stop talking, when everyone just want to be left alone. And then get the grateful smiles from the other passengers.
14:00 When you're not a very social person this can really suck, I have hated it my entire life and if you decide to just not meet up at events like birthdays or anniversary parties, people will look down upon you.
Hi Kelly, I am Danish. It was both fun and interesting to hear about your 10 things 😊🥳 Yes, sometimes we are a little weird 🤪 Have a wonderful day. All the best Britt
15:27 more and more places in Denmark have got what is called øv-dag, meaning if you have a bad day where you really don't feel like going to work for some reason. You can just call in and say I have an øv-dag. Of cause, that's not something you can do all the time, and for some jobs it's just not possible. The idea is that in case someone really has a bad day or something really important happens in their private life that they need to handle, then they might just feel forced to call in sick but if you got the flu or diarrhea you will most likely stay home for a few days same if you are faking it. Then it's better that people just take the øv-dag and only are gone one day. Also if people have a really bad day or have a lot of personal stuff to think about they will probably not deliver their best at work anyway.
plus if you feel like you are not pressured hard to go to work and you know if you have a bad day and it's okay to say it and stay home, you will 1, have a higher opinion about the workplace. 2 if it's enough for you to call your boss and say you cant/don't want to come, its most likely serious enough that it'll probably affect your work efficiency and it might have a long affect on it too. we have a strong sense of responsibility now that i think about it.
As a dane i have mastered going into a party unnoticed because i'm too shy to go around and say hi to everyone. The "wow i need to use the bathroom the second i come and dammit i have wet hands now" method!
First and foremost I am an American and proud of it. Unfortunately the times have changed since I was a kid. I'm 57 yrs. old now. I walked home to and from school with a older cousin. I grew up in a single parent home and I was taught discipline and to be respectful to my elders. In my opinion children should be taught to be respectful. Discipline doesn't necessarily mean spanked. I worked with kids for over 30 yrs...knew of children who were never disciplined or spanked if u will, and would see them yell at their parents even hit them and the parents pleading with them to do what they need for them to do!
Another thing that doesn't happen in Denmark: Mass shoortings. My condolences on the recent ones. Well, almost. There was one single incident in the 1980's when a young man shot and killed two or three students at a university. I don't remember much about it, but I think it was a jealous revenge for a break-up. A few comments on the 10 things mentioned in the video. Now, the things described are not as black or white in reality, but I realize it has to be a balance between information and running time. There are also regional and age-related differences when going to parties and doing the friday-thing at work. Because of its 400 islands, Denmark is (was, until all the bridges were built) a very diverse country, both language-wise and cultural. A person from North Jutland didn't understand a person from South Jutland. However, the person from North Jutland understood Scottish better than the dialect from Zealand (Sjælland), and the same was true with German for the person from South Jutland. There is still a cultural war going on between Jutlanders and Zealanders as to whom does the most important contribution to society, the agricultural, the fishing, and the heavy industry in Jutland, or the high-tech and the cultural industry of Zealand, broadly put. And with all the nice people from Fyn pinched right between the two shouting combatants. It is also a bit more complicated with sickness and job. You CAN eventually be fired from work, but only after a law-stipulated 200 days, and the employer has to have tried to assist the employee back into work on easier terms before the lay-off, something like that. In the past you also had one year on the highest level of social security to get well and back to work. Unfortunately, this has been reduced to just above half a year after which the payment is reduced by 1/3. This doesn't heal you faster, even though that's the hidden purpose of the reduction. Children can still be left alone in their prams outside stores, and older children are still allowed to commute to and from school by themselves, but it is not as safe as a generation ago, mostly due to a huge increase in traffic, but also due to occasional attempts from child abusers to lure children into their cars. Sadly, a 10-year old girl was kidnapped and raped er few years back, but at least she wasn't killed, and the perpetrator was arrested shortly after. A little peculiar story from maybe 25 years ago: A Danish woman was (living in) New York and parked her pram with her child outside the windows of a café where she was having a coffee while keeping an eye on the pram. However, that wasn't good enough and she was arrested, much to her surprise because it was totally normal and totally legal in Denamrk. But things CAN go south: In 1965 there was the famous "Tina Case" where a barren woman kidnapped a baby girl. Tina was found unharmed a few days later, but it was breaking news every day until she was found. Back in th 1960s it was allowed for teachers to spank the pupils but that was abolished around 1970. Much later it also became illegal for parents to punish their children physically, but that is a law that immigrants rarely get told, so there are trials about child punishment from time to time, mostly with foreigners involved. But sometimes also ethnic Danes. However, most of these cases cover more than just a bottom spank or one over the ear; mostly it's about cuts and bruises and perhaps even broken limbs. And that's way beyond corrective punishment.
You're right on with the "going around shaking hands".. that might be one of the reason for always coming in time or 10 min. Before, because er dont wanna be the one that has to go around, but just standing and shaking hands 🤣🤣
17:30 the work place gets money from the state to compensate like 70% or 80% of the salary if people are sick for more than a few days in a row. If you are sick for a really long time you will go on sygedagpenge.
I may be a bit different with friends and being direct. I would at times say. The pain in my foot right now, is due to the amazing amounts of weight you have gained, and chose to stand on my foot like it was a scale!
13:13 why dilute whatever you are drinking by adding ice to it. Though you need to ask them not to add ice in your soda at some cafes or fast-food places if you don't want it.
Ice or not, I am somehow reminded of the "tintin" character captain Haddock who when asked if he wanted ice in his whisky retorted "If Iwant to go skating, I will let you know!"
