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Tell those son of a gun Jewish psychiatrist..... INFJ can't take them in heaven by pressure their black hole... Stop pressure them with EMF stress..... they can't solve those scientist problem. We are awesomely paranoid and bipolar. INFJ just divine, understand them is zero tolerance, they same way you can't define the Creator.
It took me years to learn to love this. Younger INFJ's please do not, for one moment, bemoan your changeability. It's one of your finest assets. That you can change your mind, your station, and your beliefs proves that you are never limited.
That makes sense. Now I understand why I struggle to make eye contact consistently! It’s because I don’t want attention. It’s because I need me time. All this time, I just thought it was laziness on my part.
We spend our time dreading things. I dreaded Christmas shopping for three weeks. I made myself miserable. I have a huge list but I got almost all of it done in one day. It went extremely well. I’m always dreading things that turn out to be no big deal after all. My husband always says, “You say the place will be packed, but you are rarely right about the wait time. Let’s just go and see what happens.” I hate waiting for a table. I have no patience. If I have to wait for a table for more than 15 minutes, I get bitchy. You are right about how we struggle to take care of ourselves. I’m going to work on that next year. I need to ask myself every day, what am I doing for myself today and what will I do for someone else today? That’s my new plan for next year so I can stay focused. I want to help people, but I don’t like to take care of them. I want to help them sort out their life, get somewhere, solve a problem, etc., but I don’t like to do the monotonous things that go with taking care of them (like cooking, cleaning, or participating in some activity I don’t enjoy just to spend time with them because they are lonely.) I’m bad at showing them love during the every day stuff because I am too distant and not affectionate enough. I need to show love less by advising, and more by participating. It will probably make me happier too. Going to work on all of that! I need to bond with my teenager, and if playing video games with him will make his life less lonely, then I need to do it. We don’t recognize loneliness in others because we like being alone. It’s easier to feel responsible for my son’s welfare, than to be actively involved in his happiness. And my son doesn’t want any material thing. I can’t buy him something to make him happy. He wants my attention and he deserves that of course. I need to be less selfish with my time and give more of it go him. I’m going to make a conscious effort to change. Sometimes I just seem to get frustrated easily. I need to break my time up into shorter segments. Instead of an hour of games with him, I should do 30 minutes, then an hour for housework, then a 15 minute walk with him, then an hour of down time for me. Then I will be at my best with him. Why is it so hard? Yes I do feel very selfish (which feels evil).
You are a lovely person, but still very young. Things get only better for the INFJs as they get older and wiser, accept who they are and find their place in the world. Because INFJs are different and they know it, most of the time they feel "not at home", as if they are aliens just visiting Earth. And others, people around us, only contribute to us feeling that way since they also look at us in that way. However, the truth is we belong here and have a purpose. There is a reason why we are here. The world needs people like us, and needs us to be exactly the way we are.
It's not so much about contradictions, but having strict standards. The 'door slam' comes because we are so private that we don't let out tells when people or events transgress our standards. But when those transgressions occur the countdown is ON, and they will only realize that they are on thin ice when they cross the line. That's when the door slams and you go from being that quiet person who puts up with all of the bullshit to being that quiet person who is planning someones death...and they may never realize they crossed that line until the moment that the hammer falls and you go from being Mr Nice to being the avenging Angel of Death.
Haha couldn't have said it better. It's because we are so in our heads that we don't realize when people cross a line with us, until we wake up from our day dreams.
That's absolutely true, what I don't understand sometimes whenever people around me, saying "I knew you pretty well." Its actually irk me a lot because "THEY DON'T!" , whenever this phrase pops up I just smirk and have this inner conversation. Because for me, I don't need to explain much about myself, its like playing "HIDE and SEEK", another thing though, its hard to explain especially to friends why we often reject potential relationship. I agree with strict standards, for us we have this "AUTO-FUTURE PROJECTIONS" we're trying to picture ourselves with this person so much we ended up losing interest somehow.
Jojie Omana wow that’s so true I’ve declined many relationships only bc, I truly didn’t see myself in the future w/ that person . My mom says I’m picky, but I have standards and need to feel that connection w/ someone. Dating is tough
Sometimes the "future projections" also make it pointless actually getting into a relationship with someone. Typically I end up having already done all the things I want to do with that person (or the perfect version of that person) in my mind / internal world, so it feels like a moot point actually getting to get to know them in the real world. By not trying to engaging the real person, I feel like I also don't have to risk the emotional distress involved in getting to really know someone, giving myself to them and facing the inevitable disappointment of them not living up to my standards. It's kind of sad really.
I am like a mirror. I just reflect back at people what they give. Makes me a loyal friend and a worthy adversary. ;) --Jonathan Charles Byington it is a rare person who turns my mirror back on myself allowing me to see myself as well as I see others. these are the few who get to see the real me. thank you for playing with the metaphor. ;) Lisa Marie is the person I trust to remove the mirror and just be me.
My father never stopped telling me I was weak for having extreme shifts in perspective... among infinite other incessant narcissistic behaviors I had to eventually cut him out of my life at 31 years old. I will always wish I had a loving father in my life and continually reevaluate that decision... in the end it was the single biggest positive decision for my mental health I’ve ever made.
With all these contradictions, we are consistent about one thing. Regardless of which way the pendulum swings, we never half ass any of it lol. We will feel strongly and lean heavily on one side then do the same on the other. We will not passively scoot over, we will stomp loudly and proudly towards the direction we feel suits us in that moment. 😂
Great vid!! I thought I was bipolar for quite a while, fortunately I was completely against seeking medical attention, otherwise I might have ended taking drugs for a condition I don't have. The self hate/love contradiction is a tough one, it dictates my self esteem a lot, when I am happy with myself I am a force of nature and can do anything I propose myself, when I am not happy with myself I just want to stay in bed all day for a week or two. I have found that having a fixed scheduled activity you enjoy helps mitigate or shorten the bad periods, in my case it is physical excercise.
You’re right as an INFJ young child , teen and in my 20’s as a college student it was hard for me to love and accept myself bc I knew I was so different then most and had quirks and I was shy. Most ppl don’t understand us. And I longed to be understood. I had low self esteem for many years. Bc I didn’t even know why I was so different then most. We feel I lonely most of the times. At least I do. It’s hard for me to find someone who “gets me” . Few do. And yes at times I want to juggle so many different things but it’s hard for me bc I do get burned out lol. And I have to tell myself to rest or calm down not stress or have anxiety (which I had bad anxiety before) .
I think we have awful anxiety because we're so hard on ourselves. We kind of unconsciously attempt to be everything to everyone and people kinda except you to be that as well.
Elfen41 this is so true. My father put high expectations on me as a child . I always try to live to others standards & mine which causes me to break down, stress, sad. I have to learn to let go & love myself much more
That loneliness is a killer. Literally. I have wanted to die for 2 years, but it’s more just like I don’t want to be here in this messed up world anymore. I’m past that I think, but it was very serious. I’m healing and can see the light. Just sharing.
I thought im the only one whos weird af haha Edit : i also have this weirdness that contradicts which is believing in myths and etc u know what i mean, like fairies, mermaids, sorcerers etc but you're also serious about being a rational human being ... like wtf i dont get my brain
I have 2 things to say: 1.) I’m an INFJ and I’ve been grinning throughout the whole video at how accurate all 10 statements are. 2.) HOLY SH*T, that radiating smile is so cute and precious that it could KILL!
I really hope you take this right ...... I found this video almost creepy...... It was like you were in my head or something I have NEVER had someone get me or get how I think and feel the way you do. It's nice to feel like there is someone who understands you. I feel like I am bashed my brain in trying to get my dad to understand me ( I think he's an ISTP). So it's like were speaking 2 different languages.
Ha! Didn't take this the wrong way at all. I'm so glad you found this video creepy (in a good way I think). When I encounter people who speak a different language than me, I know they are not going to understand me, unless I speak their language. So I try to speak their language. That's the only way to communicate.
Agreed with all. I hate people but also love people. If I lose respect in someone I shut the door I dont yell or argue I just stop talking to them because I am done. I want attention but don't wanna be in the spotlight. I feel crazy in my own head sometimes.
All of this resonate so much with me! I was diagnosed with BP, at a young age (meds never worked) because turns out, i don't have it, I'm just an INFJ and a Libra LOL Making big decisions, I can do, small decisions (like what to eat for dinner) ... those are a real struggle. A lot of my nice/mean has to do with being overstimulated. I start off everyday pretty nice, but the more energy people take from me, the more i feel myself wear down.
No way are people who can hold two contradictory concepts as being true simultaneously mentally weak. They are quite litterally thinking on a higher level. And there's so much more to it than that, infjs are processing all the time, like a mighty furnace that is never allowed to go out. So whats the problem? The fact of the matter is unless it involves a moral question it does not matter what position or posture you take, you can in fact switch back and forth several times in a conversation, thus refusing to play the identity/ego game that it seems like everyone in this age is so insistent on playing. Once you realize that your identity depends on you alone you will know what i mean when i say that only imminent and moral decisions matter, everything else is just symbols and fluff, which the ego puts so much effort into hoisting high in the air. And the thing is when a moment for an authentic ethical decision presents itself you as an infj will naturally know what to do, while those who had been so vocal about making sure everyone knew what their precious identity entailed instantly crumble into duplicitous or even cannibalistic behavior. You may not like to be around people most of the time but if need be you will fight for them, you will encourage them, you will teach them, you will help them feel like they belong. Many people dont even know this about you but they dont need to, youre identity is not dependent on them. They have got so much invested in things that litterally do not and will never be truly relevent in their own or anyone else's life. Unless of course youre a fascist and you simply,without any contemplation or consideration, shove your views down others throats, even if they have no desire to engage with you. These are the natural enemies of the infj, our great fear is that in the future these blind desperate lost individuals will completely run everything. Some may accuse me of relativism and being dismissive of "the Truth", but the truly wise know that the only good is that which is true, and the truth is made up entirely of that which is good. If youre an infj you should know exactly what im talking about. If you scoff at that statement then you are a perfect example of what im talking about. Not because you disagree with me, but because you dont bother to even understand, you are reflexive and thus predictable, and why do you scoff? Because you are so desperate to prop up your identity by distinguishing it from another. You yearn for the contrast because without it you have no idea who you are. You build your house on shifting sand. Because you dont really believe in who you are, youre afraid to embrace the protean nature of your divine soul. And in doing so you voluntarily close yourself off to the ever giving Spirit of wisdom, love, and, spontaneous service. Whether its Trump supporters vs Democrats, shouting past each other turning a blind eye to everything that binds them together, or if its a fundamentalist religious enthusiast telling others that they cant believe × and also refer to themselves as y. Just go into a church and tell them you are saved, that Christ is central to your life, and that you entertain the concept of reincarnation. Its the same thing on the other side, i laugh at these fools whose only reason for opening their mouth is to spit on the beliefs and faith of others, by insisting that Jesus never existed or that Moses was a street hooker, or whatever. How in the hell do they know? How do the Christians know what will send someone to punishment for eternity? They are both just as indoctrinated and just as blind. They are afraid and thus they submit. Im hoping the Age of Aquarius sees an end to what seems so unnecessary and yet so indicitive of our current situation in the world. Im not bi polar, im the good with the bad simultaneously, i am both proud and humble, i can seem cold and be considerate in the same instant, i can be provacative and then disappear before youve uttered a response, I am all things as the situation calls for....im reminded of a quote by Bruce Lee, "be like water my friends, water can crash and water can flow, pour it into a glass and it becomes the glass. Yes.... be like water." And dont let anyone tell you that your contradictions are anything less than beautiful, simply because they emerge from your deepest heart and mind regardless of what anyone, including yourself, thinks or says about it. So you infjs who dont celebrate and reward yourself, opting for self deprecation instead, just stop, its unnecessary, irrelevant, and almost certainly not true. Carry on the good fight friends, follow the path that your intuition leads you toward. If you mess up, learn from it, help others learn from your shortcomings, thats if they want to listen, if not, you can still wish them the best, and if they find success then be happy for them. Narcissism, resentment, arrogance, hubris, entitlement, willful ignorance, and seeking out violence for its own sake. All of these will eventually come to terms with that intractable law of the universe that cuts off that which over extends itself, refered to by the Ancients as the goddess Nemesis.
Boom Shikha Thank you Boom, i only found out i was an infj about 5-6 months ago, i really resisted taking the test even though i had been a long time admirer of Jung and his theories. But i was just like why would i want to take a test thats just going to give me a label, i hate labels, theyre so confining. When i got the result i was like this is crap, im a thinker not a feeler, but then i saw how infjs were the rarest type, and i became intrigued and started to read up on the quirks, hangups, functions, etc of this type. And it was so spot on about 85% of the time, i felt at times that i had been surveiled for a long period of time and someone was simply using that info to compile these detailed preference files that i thought only pertained to me. Ultimately despite the creepiness, ive benefited from the the way the mbti frames things, i think most importantly i was able to embrace my extroverted feeling whereas before i always thought of myself as more cerebral. Now that i know that critical thinking side of me comes after my ability and desire to help others, advocate for them, help them see their problems from different perspectives, to break down complicated systems and offer them a condensed crystalized version, and basicly to help others feel comfortable while still being my unique self, not jeopardizing it by spreading myself too thin and letting others extract too much from me. When i got into my 30s i found this got much easier and that i could begin to not only use my abilities but to really articulate what they were, and why they worked so well, and how they explained so much about my personality, as well as worked so well in deciphering others. It was often like weaving a spell in my head. You know... i remember from a very young age, say like 7yo, i would look into the mirror and tell myself i was weird....then after a pause i would easily conclude that thats ok. The alternative, being normal, sounded more insulting to me as it implied basic, mediocre, and average, which im just not any of those things, and ill be damned if i have to explain to somebody why i am the way i am. I can be fairly articulate but i could never distill what exactly i am into words, i prefer to keep my soul, my thoughts, my future hopes, my learning endeavors, all that stuff, open ended. You did help me btw with one insight recently with your clip stateing that the burden is on us for others to understand us, if theyre not getting it, then its never their fault, its my responsibilty. That was a bullseye and i had never thought about it that way, thanks and keep it up.
Contradiction? Not to me. I'm single I like being single, but I'm horny I don't like being horny. 🤨????????? Seriously that's not even a contradiction, it's a paradox😂😂😂😂😂😂
I identify myself as an infj. I have looked through many videos on how to identify them.. And I relate to almost all of them. But I took the 16 personalities test.. And 2 out of 4 times it told me I'm an infp.. I still think of myself as an infj because I can never be as open as I understand an infp to be.. But I don't know what to make of the test. It says I'm 50% infj and 50% infp lol. My question is.. Is this the classical infj bipolar behaviour? Because the results of the test depends on how we are feeling when we take the test.. And if we are feeling different, we are going to get a different answer. One more thing I have in common with many young infj is that I've had long term depression (it's better now) and not a lot of people to talk to about it
Yes!! Absolutely. We usually end up in the middle on extroversion/introversion, and perceiving/judging. It's because we can play so many chameleon-like roles.
That's not true to everyone. It all depends. I've been a classroom facilitator for years and have noticed that if I'm really comfortable mediating a topic with my students, I am in the most comfortable place.
maybe she expresses her Intution like that. I get the depressed face comment. I used to be so gloomish when shyness took over. when I'm in my head I can feel the disconnect with myself and my body.
Lara O'neal becaaaaause, she found an outlet that brings her joy. I like paddle boarding, crystals meditating and creeping on kardashians. Find your outlet infjs it helps turn our frowns upside down.
Purposely Dress Down Even Though I Want To Dress Nice Or Beautiful I Probably Receive The Same Attention Only Ppl Think Wow Only The Other Way😂Eye Roll
I think the big difference is that the contrasts in our behavior is because of the OUTSIDE, of the other factors, not from INSIDE. We react (logical?!) to some factors, maybe overthinking , not because we are bipolar.
We as INFJs are treated as odd when our personality fluctuates...even though the entire world thinks it’s normal for every OTHER process and area in their life. 🤨 Everyone needs to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, whatever, but not ALL THE TIME! No one ever says, “I asked you if you were hungry earlier, and you said no; so who do you think you are, three years later, wanting to eat dinner EVERY NIGHT!?!” Lol. So, we’re social...and not. Depending. Want close connection...and don’t. What I find hard to understand is why people find it hard to understand. You articulated these so well, and brought up several I hadn’t even thought of; keep up the great work!
Ahhhh I’m a walking contradiction!!! Mysterious yet want to be understood, I’m very silly with people I’m close to but I’m very serious haha Omggggg everything you said Is true!!! I understand the contradiction but on the outside, people may see it as a problem/disorder! (And it sucks) Thank you for being awesome and creating this space for people to come together to understand themselves and others! Peace and light
Hi INFJ here ,I pretty much agree with your observations but disagree with most of your conclutions .I wanted to give you my take on what you said but that would be a lot of typing (one finger typer) .If you respond to this responce to acknowledge that you read it I would give you my take .I don't believe people read responces so I cant waist my time ,if you did read it I would be happy to send a very long responce .It may not be completely correct but I'm sure you would get some information you could use .I'm 56 years old (male so it might not count) and only figured out I was an INFJ in the last few mounth so I've been going around the web gathering information to clarify things for me .One thing I should say if you can get an outside cat ,you have to take care of it for a few months but after that it's about a minute a day to feed and give it water and you will wind up with a companion for years who knows when you need to be alone and when you need affection and always just seems to get you .Yes this is a short responce . THANK YOU FOR THE VIDEO ,I don't subscribe to anything but I do put main pages in my favorite bar to keep up .
I know I am not mentally weak, I have very strong opinions, I see things in very black and white. I agree about the tiresomeness of people. I go away to get rest. I expect that I am invisible, I accept that, until..... I used to want to be nice, now... I don't care anymore. Relationships take too much energy. I am no longer wonder woman. Yes, run back to safety. I like to think the good outweighs the evil... A lot of "things" are a burden, also pets do bad things in your home... I know I am an enigma, it's my superpower. Having a love/hate relationship with yourself is a challenge.
I always want to be nice. That's my first choice but then something in people's minds happen that they the idea, Ohh Keren is so nice am just gonna fuck with her and take advantage. And that just brings my bad side out. I don't understand. Why won't people take the good side of things? Why they wanna piss me off. I always warn people with what ever I going to do. And they still act surprise. Bitch I warned u!
Hi Boom! My mom actually is an ENFJ, but why she also has this back and forth behavior? I mean, sometimes she is very welcome and listening to other people (she is a good listener tho) but when she is tired, she doesn't want to listen to me at all like she just nods or does not give any response... Is this because she has FJ type too? (eventhough she's extroverted and loving people)
Everyone has bad days and good days, and times when they want to listen and times they want to shut down. We just do it more than others, but everyone has those tendencies. :)
I have a bad back broken disk. Since I moved to a new place with hardwood floors, my pain has doubled. I may have to have help now because at 60 I cannot keep up. This is scary to me. I do not want to have someone in here I do not know while I they may cramp my freedom. I love being alone and do not like the idea. It is horrible getting old and infirm as an INFJ. Most people never mention it. Aging.
I get what you mean, because I am an INFJ too, but to me, you are a very immature INFJ. You have not seen the people you really need in your life to discover how you truly should be. You will experience it with the right relationship which you have not found yet. With the right people you will not experience the draining.
This reminds me of what my ex once told me. After getting to know me a while, she said that I was a very "complex" person, and I'm difficult to figure out. LOL! Yes, I am a pretty complex person! On another note, she would expect me to give her money all the time. She would also get frustrated and snap at me from time to time. This is when I realized that I was being used and abused, and I gave her the ole' INFJ doorslam. And at that time, I didn't even know anything about the INFJ personality, nor the doorslam.
soon as I get around someone I thought I missed I can't wait to get back home and hate I ever left the house. I don't want to be consistent in order for someone to THINK they know my every move. I prefer to be unpredictable. You never know what you're going to get out of this box of chocolate. lol
I was literally nodding my head when you said you was sure we was if we are an INFJ. lol. I am just so glad you are doing these vlogs. Thank you for validating me. Not that I need anyone to validate me. lol
This makes sense now. I even call myself a walking contradiction. It also explains why I say I can be inviting and comforting as a warm summer day, or cold and harsh as an antarctic winter. I do not revel in my single status though. I miss having that companion and the affection they give in my life. No, pets do not help. You can't have an intelligent conversation with a dog or cat. It also explains why I like people, but loath society.
I don't consider the door slam evil. Evil ppl are killers. I've never killed anyone, but I've door slammed many. They know they've been door slammed because I tell them why. The door is slammed and it stays shut. No revenge, no more anger. The person is not dead to me. The person is nothing to me.
I am extremely glad to have found your channel. While any of your videos, I am constantly nodding my head in agreement. I wish everyone could know there personality type, and better yet, we could all let each other know our type. That would help me help the people around me better understand my quirkiness lol
Awww, thank you for watching. But also, I always tell people what my MBTI is, and I make all of the people in my life take the test if they haven't already so I know how to speak and relate to them. :) And I am always training people to understand who I am and how I work.
I sometimes want to eat but I sometimes don't want to eat I sometimes want to drink but I sometimes don't want to drink I sometimes want to sleep but I sometimes don't want to sleep Oh I'm so bipolar...
This is so so true. So bipolar in a way... my mom used to call me bipolar so often. It is good to know I am not alone and I am less crazy than I thought. However, the back and forth with unhealthy people can really damage an INFJ. How to find safe people from who we can receive something as well instead of constantly giving?
We want to be loved but it's a issue of consistency and intent and the fact that we can pick up on what people are thinking feeling and we see what people work so hard on hiding
OMG this so sounds like me with everyone. I complain, but I get it done. I am always looking for more boundaries with certain things and yearn for simplicity.
it's amazing how can we found an INFJ talker like you , and you seem to have a leader's caracter too ... whitch i think is rare to find in INfj's ( leadership ) ... and what you talked about about in this video is all right to me , i'm always thinking about that , and the problem is that it takes me more to philosophic quetions ... this MBTI theory is very important to me now ... and i uses it to think and everything and see the world with a lot of visions ... thank you for sharing your great notes
I see myself as a cat, because cats are like that, I see my cat and she loves me but then she wants her space, then she wants to play then she is in a bad mood and I am exactly like that, sometimes when she wants to play I tell her to be a cat and act like cat because sometimes I am cattier than her, don't know if that makes sense but I feel you. I am a Christian and once my parents literally had doubts about my faith because I told them our vision of the world it's not necessarily the right one even though we believe it so and, also one atheist friend of mine thought it was an absurd that I said science and religion may have their differences but to me they are just different ways to see the world and to talk about the same thing and that if we put them together we would get a better conclusion of what we are than separate them from each other, anyway I got what you said lmao
Thank you for posting this. I don’t feel alone in the way I think!!!!! I SO relate to your reasons of not owning pets! I live a minimalist life, too and most people ask if I’m bored. “I’m always like, how can I be bored with the party going on in my head!”
Great one again! You're amazingly eloquent, and I enjoy listening to you! There certainly are no absolute truths out there, simply because truth has to be interpreted by us, and complete objectivity therefore is impossible ever to achieve! Logic in other words, dictates that all "truths" manifest a degree of bias originating from their source without exception, and in a similar fasion also apply to the receiving end due to intellect and values! In other words, no matter how unintentional the bias happens to be, it's surely an inescapable reality nonetheless! Now, how's that for an absolute truth? :D
I relate to some of these things.. especially the door slamming thing. Best friend from school, childhood friend i knew for 15 years, ex gf, sister... all casualties of taking my effort for granted. All backstabbed me in some way.. haven't talked to any of them since I stopped believing they cared and that they didn't just take me for granted.
We have black and white thinking only as a result of thinking black, white, and GREY most of the time. We hold the words "know" and "certain" as almost sacred. We will look at things from every angle multiple times over before coming to a settled conclusion like a scientist would do. People often make the mistake of equating confidence with easily being able to say they "know" something. To me, it can seem to be almost a false confidence, as if they were overcompensating, but I "know" it's just the fact that they are a decider personality type and I am an observer personality type. They make a decision and run with it until something changes their mind and we will think things through thoroughly before making a decision. This can make us seem to be indecisive most of the time to a decider type, but when we are decisive it's absolute or near as you can get to absolute.
My cousin just messaged me on Facebook about two statuses I posted that contradict each other. I'm seriously thinking about sending him this video cause this is exactly how I think.
How about certain signs (astrological) being INFJs? I am a Cancer and an empath. This resonates so much it’s uncanny! I hate people per se but my passion is the medical field and I have been thrown into Real Estate for over 20 years. Also, do you work with Tarot readers? Contact me if so 😇
