I am French and have been raised in the countryside of France. Saying bonjour to anyone your see and walk past is one of the very first things my parents and grandparents taught me. Even if you don't interact just saying bonjour if your walk past someone in a less known area of France will make a very good impression and usually you get a wonderful smile in return!
As for the workout outfit I feel like it depends on where you go in France, more 'young' places will absolutely not care. If still a very fashion country if that make sense so don't hesitate to dress with your personal style usually nobody will pay attention to it (except Karens we have some over here too lol)
@@Jadizi It really depends. In cities obviously you cannot say "hi" or "bonjour" to every passer-by. In the village where I live, saying "bonjour" to even strangers that come your way is normal - even the local teenagers do it.
@@Jadizi In Paris metropolitan area, people understand english but will not answer to some stranger saying "Bonjour" or "Hi" or "Hello", you bother them. In the rest of the country they will answer back but they do not understand what "Hi" means. Hi" for a french, written "aïe", means you have some kind of pain. And if you are just walking people thing you have some mental issue. You would be more lucky with "Hello"
Bonjour Diane, en tant que Francaise, je confirme que tout est vrai mais effectivement le plus important cest le "bonjour" 😄. Cest littéralement la base chez nous. Jamais personne n entrerait quelquepart ou n engagerait une conversation sans saluer. Cest tellement important que cela peut litteralement faire basculer une situation. Notamment dans le commerce ( je suis commerçante) c'est percu comme extrêmement vexant de ne pas saluer. Il peut meme arriver qu un interlocuteur te reponde par un " bonjour" agacé et bien insistant et n engage pas la conversation tant que tu n as pas salué. Et si le commerçant reste aimable et ne s offusque pas en apparence de ne pas avoir eu de bonjour, crois moi, a l interieur, il est révolté 😄
pas de bonjour c'est éliminatoire direct, pas de négociations ^^ / dear US citizen, no "bonjour" is a direct no-go. no offense here. just french thing ^^ as i use to say to my romanian colleagues who deal with french at work, you can have everything from a french person with bonjour, s'il vous plait, merci, au revoir (bonjour, please, thank you, goodbye), it's work ;)
Hi Diane , these are super useful tips 😊. Yet another thing in addition to “Bonjour” at the beginning of a commercial exchange, the French will generally expect you to close the conversation with some selection of « Merci. Bonne journée. À bientôt. Au revoir, » etc.
The importance of « bonjour » or « bonsoir » cannot be overstated. It’s basically your “in” with every interaction in France... from your mailman, stranger on the street, doctor, person in the elevator. Been coming to France since the 90’s and it’s the first thing (and best advice) my best friend, who is French told me. It literally opens doors. That, and not assuming everyone speaks English.
@@loveforgood7520 It's a matter or respect and consideration. In France and French-speaking Belgium (and probably other European countries) you have to start any social interaction (whether it's ordering food, entering the doctor's waiting room or asking for direction) with "bonjour". If you don't, don't be surprised if people are not kind with you, they might indeed even ignore you.
Hi Diane. I just rewatched this episode and wanted to say how fortunate we are to have you as our teacher on French customs, practices and savior fare. And for me it’s particularly special because I had the pleasure to meet you and Tom during my trip. We subscribers of Oui in France are very lucky that you work so hard bringing us the best in French educational content. Au revoir. Josef.
I think the days when being a waiter in France was considered a profession are somewhat long-gone, and many times people who wait tables are students or in between better jobs with shorter hours. However, waiters are paid a salary by the restaurant or bar. As a client, you're dealing with the restaurant or bar. You're not dealing with their employees individually. When you buy something from a shop you're not tipping the cashier, the person who helped you out, and so on…
MERCI de faire ce travail d'information. Tous les américains ne sont pas pénibles, la plupart font des erreurs involontaires parce qu'ils ignorent les règles. Ce n'est pas dans le but de vexer, nous leur pardonnons bien sur. Nous sommes pareils en sortant de France, nous faisons parfois des impairs. Mais il y des américains arrogants qui se croient supérieurs au reste du monde et ceux là nous les détestons et nous leur faisons comprendre sans détours que nous les détestons. Les autres, on comprends leurs erreurs, on les accepte. Mais ceux qui abusent NON, GO HOME. THANK YOU for doing this information work. Not all Americans are annoying, most make unintentional mistakes because they ignore the rules. This is not intended to offend, we forgive it of course. We are the same when leaving France, we sometimes make mistakes. But there are arrogant Americans who think they are superior to the rest of the world and we hate those and we make it clear to them that we hate them. The others, we understand their mistakes, we accept them. But those who abuse NO, GO HOME.
Hi Diane... you are right in every topic.. talking about the tips, my father always told me that I had to give, at least, a 10% of the total value of my consumption... (I am french..) you were right, waiter is not a job... and there are dedicated academies about all the works talking about catering... but tipping a waiter in a restaurant depends of the kind of restaurant... you will make a big difference between a Mac Donald, and Maxim's for instance.. quality is not the same, and the service has to be paid... now, I am shortly going to mary a wonderful american lady.. she will stay a couple of weeks with me in Paris.. but, i think that the best way to make our tourists comfortable in france, is to have a french friend who will teach them what to do, to say, and so on ! this is my plan for my wife to be... as well as to teach her french... we have to care our foreigners tourists, here, as we would like them to care us in their country !!
Most foreign tourists do not need hand holding because they can understand the most obvious things. We end up needing that kind of videos with americans because their society is mostly individualistic and is all about making one's existence known to the world, in a way that is going to be obnoxious in most other countries. What makes things worse is the utter ignorance americans have of the world, and the fact that they generally just care only about themselves as a result of their society's tradition, and hence, have a very misguided idea regarding how much they actually matter to others. Most tourists from most other countries have a somewhat more humble upbringing that makes it so that their ways won't clash with others as badly wherever they go. In short, it is merely that americans are a handful more often than others. And i am confident not many would disagree with this. Except for americans themselves, obviously.
I once caught a taxi in the south of France, I started conversing in English but when I switched to my very basic French the driver changed from cool and distant to enthusiastically friendly, encouraging and praising my linguistic efforts with great warmth. My completely monolingual Australian girlfriend was very impressed :)
Logical reaction. English speakers do not understand France if they can't understand why we react this way. Note that it is ok not to understand if one is only visiting. But, yeah, logical reaction.
I have found recently that it is getting hard to find a rental car in France that is not an automatic transmission. Perhaps this is just the rental industry catering to the Americans, but I prefer a manual shift and was surprised. It used to be the opposite.
I've found that in smaller towns/airports that don't cater to tourists, manual still seem to be the norm. The shift (I love puns, sorry) is interesting!
Uh oh....strike 2...my voice is loud (thanks mom and dad! It's all your fault). Uh oh...strike 3...I do enjoy chit chat...hmmm...maybe I'd be best to watch the travel channel!!
Hahha, no it's ok Susan. :-) As I always say, things are nuanced. Definitely watch my small talk video if you haven't already to understand the context of what I was saying a little more. You can absolutely chit chat but you approach it a little differently than we do in the U.S. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-boQ7Ymq-ykQ.html What was strike 1? lol
I do engage in small chat myself at times. I am an awkward french, so sometimes, it surprises people, or it can become awkward if they don't jump back. Well, as long as you are prodding tentatively, trying not to be loud (when there are other people around, it is necessary to talk very low, so as to make sure you won't share the conversation with everyone and their dog), rather than being loudly emphatic about things, it doesn't hurt to try small talks. But yeah, don't tell people first thing how your grandpa had a cancer of the testicles.
One definitely shouldn't make the assumption that Frenchmen speak English. However, it's not an unreasonable assumption. If the shoe were on the other foot, and France had maintained its cultural dominance like it did for centuries prior to the dynastic wars of the 18th Century, and the Napoleonic Wars, and, thus, if French had remained _la langue universelle,_ I'm sure that Frenchmen would be assuming that Englishmen and Americans spoke French (and would themselves be much less likely to speak English).
I want to believe our education would have been better than that. After all, the overall views on colonialism were very different between France and England, and simply seeing how differently things were done by both countries in northern America with ''natives" should be telling enough. Hopefully, this logic would have spread to the language matter.
I am French and live in the States since 1987. I love your channel and all the nuances you bring to the table. Your list is to the point. However, what I personally love in the States is you can talk to perfect strangers in the street with a smile and able to have an enjoyable conversation. This is not common in France. You need to be formally introduced for a possible conversation. French are way more formal than Americans. Thank you for a very good job.😊
I definitely suspect that Americans' (and probably Canadians', Australians', etc.) loudness and informality is a product of a culture that is less socially stratified than what you'll find in the Old World. Frenchmen have their unspoken class structures which inhibit simply talking to strangers like you're equals. Especially because the USA (Canada, Australia, etc.) is an immigrant culture and not a longstanding country where the national identity is established and not in the process of being created. In an immigrant country, you can't just huddle in your house and have a society - you need to get out there and introduce yourself to strangers with totally different roots. Also, the settlers to the United States were by and large the lower orders from Europe and Asia (also, slaves), so they were starting from a level of diminished formality and etiquette.
I'm glad you enjoy the American culture in that way. To be able to say hello or to communicate with another should be simple and with ease. There are people with mental disorders to consider and it sounds like the French don't consider that. Does France have anyone over there with mental disabilities?
@@loveforgood7520 I am pretty certain we consider people with disabilities and mental disabilities hundreds times more than the USA. I would have a lot to say about this, but let's just leave it at that for now.
During WWII, an aunt of mine was in the womens' army corps in the signal corps. The call went out for French speakers to act as liasons/translators at the telephone switchboard used by the officers and other higher-ups. As her parents (my grandparents) were born in French Canada, French was her first language (and she was the only one of the family to remain fluent and even read French books throughought her life), she signed up. Another woman in her unit, once they arrived in Paris, began griping about "all these foreigners!" My aunt had to remind her that at this point, they themselves were the foreigners! Some people!
As a Parisian I find it very difficult to have people shouting near me, for me we shout if we are in danger and it makes me very uncomfortable to have people like "sound the alarm" for nothing, for a little conversation.. And since I speak in a low voice, it no longer allows me to speak because I won't be heard. I find it very rude. And then it puts foreigners in danger of speaking loudly in their language because pickpockets are looking for tourists (who are supposed to be full of money (which we don't do in France for security reasons)) I advise you to not having a lot of cash.
Thanks for this, Americans understand “culture” and its importance very little to not all. I lived in France for several years in the 80s and 90s ( and I loved it by the way) but found myself horrified at the utterly rude, boorish ignorant behavior of Americans who put no effort at all into learning anything about France and the French or Europe more broadly. Love your channel and find it very informative and endearingly entertaining.
There are definitely a bunch of rude Americans out there (and people of all nationalities) that we've all seen. Just a thought, I wonder if we just notice them more since they kind of self-identify . Then all the perfectly polite and respectful folks don't catch our eye making us think Americans are all super loud and rude.... confirmation bias at work sometimes. I know that I fall victim to this sometimes on a variety of topics, DOH! Thanks for your comment and so glad you enjoy my content! ;-)
It's understandable for a tourist to not learn everything about a nation they visit when it's just visiting, but when it's someone from a different nation that comes to live and doesn't put time and effort into learning as much as possible about the nation and its culture..thats another.
@@OuiInFrancethat's right. Not ALL Americans are rude, we all need to keep in mind of all the different cultures out there. Example, what if a French went to Korea to visit or even Japan..they have their cultural differences. Koreans ive heard don't open the door usually for each other. Here in America, there are plenty that consider it polite and or considerate to open the door for another esspecially when it's a guy that opens a door for a girl. Japan, they get offended at tipping..weird huh? I believe it's either ego or pride that is the reason for it, because they see tipping as you saying they don't earn enough (something like that). Also, in Japan, they don't consider it rude to slurp when eating noodles. To them they see it as your enjoying good food they worked hard to provide for you. Interesting, huh? One could consider it rude to expect certain things even picky things from a tourist from a visitor when they don't live there. America is bigger than France, there are SO many different backgrounds in America. There are even different accents, each state is different in its own way. China is big too, they have differences in each part as well. Each nation has their own differences, I think some need to consider those differences and be understanding when it comes to a visitor. There are somethings to be understanding about and others to obviously not. I'm one from another nation that has an interest in learning other languages and about other cultures.
You’re so right about trying to learn about the culture as a sign of respect. Carrying g that just a little farther it begs the question: just why would you go at all if you weren’t interested in the local culture, language, and cuisine?
I think ice applies to US tourists only! I’m British and I hate ice in drinks. As a kid, I’d tip it into the nearest plant if ever a drink came with it!
Hi Diane, about tourists eating in France, I was appalled recently at the 2 (obviously American) ladies sitting at the table next to mine at a terrasse in an off-the-tourists-beaten-tracks in Paris. Ignoring the "Today's Special" on the board (a true cooked meal), they ordered a cheeseburger (admittedly of better quality than in a fast-food, but ...) and, to wash it down, one ordered a ... cappucino!!! and the other one a beer. She ignored the glass that had been brought with her beer and guggled it down straight from the bottle! I felt sorry for them :o( In many places, there is an English translation of the dishes on the Menu, which was not the case there. Were they too shy to ask the waiter to translate or explain what was on the menu or were they afraid of getting out of their comfort zone? Which is weird, since they had crossed the Atlantic to not dare taste the local specialties. But the one constant grudge I have towards tourists (in Paris, where I live) is their obsession with the metro: How can one "visit" a city from its dark underground tunnels, walking miles of endless corridors, climbing dozens of steps, etc., to just emerge at the city's landmarks beats me!?!?!?! Not to mention the fact that, fumbling in clusters before the gates, blocking the passage at doorways, etc., they get in the way of Parisians hurrying to work who NEED to (reluctantly for me) use the metro! And the ultimate that had me choke in horror is when I heard one of your fellow Paris-based American RU-vidr advise his audience on how "TO DO" the Louvre in 3 hours!!!!!!!! That can be done in the comfort of one's home, on the Louvre Museum's excellent website, but, when having a chance to actually be there, it's an insult to the many artists who, through centuries, produced the wonders that are on display (some 35 000 pieces!) in the second largest museum in the world where they all come to only see Mona Lisa (that they have seen on boxes of chocolate, advert posters, etc.)!
@@MichaelTheophilus906 A lifetime wouldn't suffice to see all the Louvre has to offer. Even the locals select one or two topics at the time: Ancient Egypt, Roman, ... or any period they're interested in. "to pay the price": well €17 for unlimited visit won't ruin you... I hope! :o) and on-line reservation saves you from having to queue for hours ... I hope you had a good lunch, still.
The fact that I made an effort to speak some French while in Paris seemed to be very much appreciated. I had such a good time there. Everyone was very kind.
From some comments from French people, I can see why. When I see someone from a different nationality that is visiting, I dont expect much at all..because it's visiting.
I feel so relieved because I'm going to France this spring for my first time ever. I took 5 years of French in school. I had heard rumors that if you try to speak French they will switch over to English almost insulted if we don't nail it. I think that that may have occurred with a friend who went to Canada in Quebec. She was not treated well when she attempted to speak French.
@@Lilbopprrr No. It is a question of respect. Our point is: French was the Lingua Franca not so long ago. Now, it is english. We don't know what language it will be next. English is nothing more than one mere language amongst hundreds. Not even an interesting one from my perspective. People who just approach us in english demonstrate how self-centered they are. If they are going to expect that WE make all the efforts so that they can be lazy forever, that won't slide. For tourists, just making the efforts to speak a few words will be enough to demonstrate that you did your share of the effort to communicate. Hence, we will do our share, too, and switch to english for your confort. Those among us who can, at least, because most of us can't. My friends speak spanish, but no english, for example. Sometimes, we may even switch to english for different reasons. For example: we are in a damn hurry, and we still don't want to just ignore yu, so, if your french sucks, we switch to english so that we can go on our business faster. Not because we are pissed, but simply because our time is short. Or, someone is trying to learn to speak english, but never have any opportunity to actually speak the language (this is my case actually), and so, a tourist who speaks english is an opportunity to get some training down. And then, there are miseducated a**holes who simply want to be rude. This happens everywhere. And this happens in France, too. Especially in places like Paris where there are the most delinquents and such. Point is: we need english speakers to understand that communication is a 2 way street. If you are a tourist, you need to adapt and start with "bonjour" in french. If you are moving to France on a long term, you are expected to learn the language properly and seriously. These apply to pretty much any country in the world. Especially those countries with strong cultural identities like France or Japan. Simply makes sense. The idea that the french may feel insulted and look down on people who can't speak french well enough is a legend that i believe is created in the USA and goes with this trend there, about throwing endless disparaging comments towards us (i will refrain from commenting this at least). Don't believe social media or US TV. I know, i have tried US TV. The worst sh*t possible. Frustrating in every way.
Hey ! I'm a french from the south (maybe that's why) but i feel in the south we would be a lot more open to chit-chat ! Don't hesitate, i think in paris it may be weird because people are always busy but elsewhere i think a lot of us would like to know more about foreigners that are coming to visit our contry. Plus, you can learn more about real french life when talking to locals ! Have a great trip (come in Toulouse ✨)
When I was learning about French culture in preparation for spending a semester in France, the teacher explained greeting everyone with 'bonjour' as going back to times when people had servants. Aristocrats and wealthy people with multiple servants wouldn't greet their servants, so to refuse to say 'bonjour' basically means you consider yourself as above them, that they are your servant. No idea if this is actually true. But saying 'bonjour' is incredibly important.
You are exactly right. If you come at me without saying "bonjour" and ask me something, you basically treat me as your slave, and you may get a pretty cold welcome. Furthermore, if on top of it, you do it in english, it is double insult, because you assume i should speak your language in my country, while you are free to behave wherever you go as if the place belonged to you. Let's remember that the relation we historically have to the english language is bound to be pretty poor overall, and so, this means that doing it in english is even worse than doing it in spanish or even german. I have no idea how i would react. Not well, for sure.
I'm from Québec, (I've become more or less perfectly bilingual over time) and I don't like it AT ALL when (certain) tourists expect us to speak English to them right off the bat. It's not the English language that bothers me, it's the attitude. ("Why the hell should I learn French to go up there? They'll speak English if they want MY money!") I'm with the French on this one. Un peu de respect envers ceux qui vous accueillent n'est pas trop à demander.
On se comprend je vois :). Les gens tout permis qui se croient chez eux partout, et qui en plus se permettent de se plaindre quand on leur pointe qu'ils sont à peine des invités, encore moins les propriétaires du lieu. Et en plus, c'est de l'anglais quoi... De l'anglais. Y a pas pire que l'angliche. L'angliche avec qui on a eu 2 guerres de cent ans, et qui ont cramé Jeanne d'Arc vivante. C'est vraiment le dernier langage que je veux voir se répandre dans ce monde ou chez moi... l'angliche.
9:22 Not knowing how to drive a stick shift. The picture is wrong, because in France (Europe) we drive on the right side, the driver sits on the left side and uses for the stick his right hand of course.
The limited time of opening hours for restaurants helps employees and workers to have their rest too. As it is a salary job, after lunch service, they'll be back for dinner service. Very good video !!
It has really helped me to understand the role the French Revolution played in some customs like saying "Bonjour". I picture the serfs who liberated themselves from centuries of oppression by the royalty and aristocracy. They changed the culture and became "lords and ladies" themselves. They addressed each other as such. "Madame" and "Monsieur" literally mean "My Lady" and "My Lord". No one is less than anyone else. Everyone deserves respect. This is the root of saying "Bonjour " when you interact with some one. You are saying that you acknowledge your equality. When we don't greet people in France, we send the message that we think we are superior and that they are there to serve us. This is deeply insulting subconsciously. Capitalism supports the belief that people have different value depending on how much money they make. The French have a different point of view. (Although financial hierarchy definitely still has its place here.) Long post. But you got me going!
@@loveforgood7520 This means that how much money you make is irrelevant, does not interest anyone, and won't bring you anything in particular in France, except for the money itself. Flaunting one's money in France is obnoxious, impolite and simply annoying. This is a good way to become a laughingstock, because it probably gives off the idea that the guy is just stupid and superficial on top of being obnoxiously noisy. No one dreams of becoming a millionnaire, and one won't be listened to more because he earns more. Although money still has some power unfortunately. But during socialising, what matters is your brain, not your bank account. Diane made a video about this, too. Where she details the specific cases and rules to talk about money. Mostly, it is about complaining about stuff (we are good at that), or answering questions rather than bragging proactively.
I've related this story in the comments of another video before. I've spent a lot of time in Paris for both business and pleasure, and the only time I have ever run into the "rude Parisian"/"French hate Americans" stereotype was once when my wife and I went to a small cafe for lunch. As we entered there was already a group of 5-6 Americans in one corner who were being very loud and boisterous, enough so that we were annoyed by it. The few French customers were all sitting at the end farthest away from them, all visibly trying (and obviously failing) to ignore them. We also sat as far from the group as we could without crowding anyone else, and kept our speech respectfully low, but we unquestionably were recognizable as Americans, and we were absolutely treated as guilty by association, particularly by the waiter, because of how obnoxious the loud group was. So the "loud in public" thing is definitely something you want to avoid, though I'd say that the rest of the list is spot-on as well.
Here in the US, most of the time I don't even hear a please, thanks, or hello. Just "I'll have the steak". I do cop to being a loud talker, but not on purpose. It's the result of working with large groups of kids for decades!
Merci de vôtre avis Diane. I always enjoy your videos, their content always rings tru to my experiences. The one thing that saddens me is that you feel the needs to make such expansive and frequent disclaimers. I am truly sorry if the very people you are trying to support attack you for the cultural education you are offering. Bisous
You'd be surprised at how crazy people are! I'm sure I'll even get some comments here along the lines of "I don't care what the French do or think. I'm the tourist spending my hard-earned cash and I'll do what I want! You're an a-hole for telling me how to act!" When I broach these topics on social media, there are always a bunch like that.
Hi there, I like to be explicitly clear in my videos because no matter what I say, someone is always going to misunderstand me or assume that I'm saying something I'm not. It gets really tiring reading comments that are rude at best and downright hateful and mean at worst. There are SO many people out there that equate "This is great in France" with "Everything about the US is terrible" by default. No ability for nuanced thinking. And then people think I'm slamming the US and attack me. It sucks the fun out of YT when people are out to find fault all the time. Personally, I include the disclaimers so that people are clear on my point of view and if they want to purposely misunderstand me after hearing that, then that's on them. It's kind of a mental health protection measure. Many people who watch my videos aren't longtime subs and have no idea where I'm coming from. I can't please everyone and people will still always find fault, but I feel better when I point out things like "This isn't ONLY in France" or "This isn't a judgment call" or "Not EVERYONE does this," etc. because no matter how common sense we might think it is, there are people out there that believe otherwise and are really nasty when expressing themselves. It's par for the course being a woman on YT and if a few simple disclaimer lines make me feel more confident and protected, then it's worth it. ;-)) Hope that makes sense!
Really sensible suggestions Diane and might I also add, please use these same rules in just about every other European country too. Germany especially is one country which has really rigid manners rules. And with regard to loud voices, and particularly loud personal interrogations to exact information from strangers, it's really cringy. Although I'm English, I've hidden in the crowd in France and muttered, 'non' when a loud American tourist has asked 'DOES ANYONE HERE SPEAK ENGLISH?' You're right that, particularly in France, the French will really respect anyone who learns a few of the norms and a few French words and will come more than half way to meet you.
I remember when i was a student working in a hotel in Paris, Americans were looking for ice machine and were very surprised when we said that we don't have any 😅
I spent several days in Paris some years back and agree with your whole list. I was still taken aback by how unhelpful people in general could be; much more so in Paris than in other cities/countries we visited. I really appreciated the ones who did help & remember them to this day. I’d still love to return and see more of the whole country
We’ve been to France dozens of times, and I agree that in Paris, in general people seem to be less friendly and helpful. On the other hand, once you’re outside of the big cities, we have found the French to be very friendly.
Paris is like all other large cities worldwide, people undergo the big city stress and hussle. Plus millions of tourists to cope with. In France like everywhere else, the "real" country is often outside big cities.
This is the other side of the coin, as you say. The French are not outwardly friendly like the Dutch or Italians, but will usually render every assistance to those in trouble. Parisians are famously snooty throughout the rest of France. Mediterranean French are more open.
Fantastic list Diane! I really hope that tipping doesn't become the norm in France as I love it the way it is now as you explained. In Canada, over the last few years it has become ridiculous to the point where I don't go out to eat as often as I do. It's literally everywhere and 20% is sort of the starting point now.
I know…I’m Canadian and the whole tipping thing drives me crazy. I hate it. You see the RU-vid videos where people talk about tipping in the US being absurd….it’s the same here. Now that the table side debit machines are preprogrammed with percentages, it puts a lot of pressure on the customer to just do what is quick. And yes…..an awful lot of them default to a 20% minimum. It’s just terrible. And the tip options at fast food and drive thru places…holy cow! I have a rule…..no feet coming to a table then no tip. I’m not cheap but I also know that unlike the US, employers in Canada are not permitted to pay paltry hourly wages to service staff on the basis of potential tip earnings.
Bonjour Diane. You have a friendly yet throughout way of educating your followers. Nothing heavy handed, just some important practical advice. I consider myself a polite visitor in France and practice the essentials of good behavior. Yet, because I feel so comfortable during my visits I sometimes wonder if I might have unintentionally forgotten to say bonjour before asking for something after entering a shop. I say bonjour to the guards stationed at entrences of larger stores as I believe that is polite too. You always heighten my learning and enjoyment of my visits to france. I look forward to my visit to Angers. A bientôt, Josef.
Let's debunk something. I am french, and was always regarded as someone very polite. I do NOT always say "bonjour". I do so most of the times, but after seeing these youtube videos that advise to say "bonjour" all the time, i realized that even i don't always do it. There are simply times when it is okay not to say it. It is mostly depending on situations. When you face someone, be polite. Making mistakes and learning little by little is the normal way to life. Don't believe anyone that may say to you that the french are unforgiving. It is untrue. Some people may have a bad day, or be natural a**holes, but this is nothing more than that. Sometimes, i don't say "bonjour" when i enter the shop. I say it afterwards, when i approach the person to pay, or to ask some question. The rule may be: "If you end up talking to someone, say "bonjour" first". Don't be too obsessed with the letter of the rule. Think more about its spirit. The point is: "acknowledge the fact that the person there is probably having a hard time. Be considerate of her/him the way you wish people would be considerate of you. Understand that you are not above this person in any way, no matter how much you earn, how famous you are, or how beloved you think you are. Instead, consider that YOU are below this person, even if you expect "customer service" from them. This is called basic respect. And this is probably where many americans struggle, given the very individualistic and egotist society they grew up in. Acknowledge people's humanity, and if you need something from them, be grateful for their efforts and for their time, even if it is their job, since this is time they gave you that no one will ever be able to give them back".
I live in a tourist area in the Netherlands, so many French tourists come there. I notice that French tourists only speak French, even basic English is not present. The average Dutch person is unfamiliar with French, even in the tourism sector.
Yes, my friends tend to speak spanish, but not english. One is interested in Russian. Another one has a decent written english level because of his job. But overall, i am probably the only one who can speak some english somehow. English is simply not all that popular a language in France. At least, not more popular than Spanish, arabic, portuguese or things like that. Actually, i am puzzled that english seems to have taken an undeserved forefront role in many countries that seem to lose their national pride. Or maybe it comes from History? During the Cold War, the US propaganda was just non-grata in France for the longest time. The rest of Western Europe has seen the USA very, very differently from us all this time. We never had such a good opinion of this place. This, on top of things like The Hundred Years War against the UK, the fact they burnt alive our very Jeanne d'Arc, and the competition over the centuries with the english language probably added to the fact that english is not too popular as a language in France, compared to other countries. I am fine with it.
@@bjam27 There are 3 countries worse than us in Europe. We are 4th to last. 3rd to last was... i am not sure anymore, Romania was it? The 2nd to last is Spain. And the very worse, by a landslide to top it off, is very obviously the best at complaining about it: the UK. They should shut the f*ck up. And everyone should stop echoing their whinning and remember that they are allowed to have to an opinion that is not dictated by social media or TV. Why is it that people say that we suck at languages and never say anything when it comes to those other countries that are much worse than us, starting with the UK? Oh, i know. It is because in this fascist world, knowing languages is all about knowing english. Well, except it isn't. So, english speakers can just get lost and never come back, for all i care.
@@bjam27 There is much worse than the french. Take any english speaking country, most spanish speaking countries, and then a good third of the remaining countries and they will be worse. Where does this legend comes from? Speaking languages is not only about speaking english. Shake up this stereotype.
I think most rental cars would have automated gears so this part should not be an inconvenient to tourists. As a Frenchman, I think saying Hello and Do you speak English? (when it's not obvious that they do) is very important and you should do that in English if you don't know the French.
As an American, I agree. with you but I still think it wouldn't kill us to learn 3 or 4 basic sentences/questions in French. Americans can use the 5 to 13 hour flight to practice. I was in Bourdeau with a friend. We were entering a supermarket. I said "Bonjour" to the man at the door. He replied in kind. Then my idiot friend just walked by him and, before I could correct her, he said "It is rude to not say "Bonjour". I wasn't sure who to be more upset with. I'd appreciate your input.
Many people think that the French people are unfriendly. I found that just doing a few of Diane’s suggestions, especially using “Bonjour” and then just asking the person if they speak English before jumping into a full conversation or trying to use a few words of French does wonders to change the experience you will have with them.
So incredibly true! I feel like when tourists get the impression that the French are rude or unfriendly, that a lot of times maybe they forgot the bonjour. Of course anyone can be rude, so I'm not saying this is always the case, but it certainly counts for a lot.
Obviously. This is the difference between 2 persons talking (what you do), and a poor sod mistaking someone else for his slave and trying to order him around. Obviously, the end result of the conversation will be quite different.
French parent and grandparent here. Almost first things we teach our children are: always say bonjour and merci, don't speak loudly (in my grandparent's time it was: children don't speak to adults unless invited to! It's over now.) don't ask personal questions, keep quiet and--a point you didn't mention--look at me when we are talking to each other. And I am a "almost never tip" person! By the way service (which is always included) and gratuities don't go to your waiter personally but are mutualized and divided between the employees (including cooks and other hidden service persons--which is fair).
Were there in May 2023. I would say "Bonjour, hello". Which I get the idea means I tried, but am hoping for English. I found learning how to say "one" and "and" would get me thru most bakery transactions. Before the waiter came back, I would google what I wanted to say and took a stab at it. Easy enough. One complimented my French, but I just laughed and knew he was being nice. I said " I would like an omelet with ham (jamon blanc) and cheese, please."
It always amazes me how people that talk about behaviour of Americans abroad never talk about American table manners. In restaurants the way Americans eat is decidedly off-putting. Ik know there is an American way of dealing with cutlery but compared to European tablemanners it’s like seeing baboons eat. Not knowing how to hold a knife (making a fist to hold the fork pointing down), holding the knife also in a fist, subsequently using the fork to scoop food up and have elbows on the table and a myriad of other things all go against against every rule of dining etiquette. And of course they know nothing of special cutlery for specific dishes. Wouldn’t that have to be a first for Americans who want to “blend in” as you call it?
I suppose I should add complaining about things that are done differently in France. Had to drop my wife off at Charles DeGaulle last Saturday and had to fill up the gas tank before heading back to Burgundy. Stopped at a Carrefour for gas and then desperately need a bathroom stop also so I headed to the next door Burger King. First time, I have ever had BK in France. After a bathroom visit, I used the kiosk to order and got a Whopper, fries and Coke avec glaçon. When I looked at the burger, there was no mustard....hmmmm, a hamburger without moutarde, Dijon's finest? I have eaten numerous French hamburgers at regular French restaurants and always had mustard on them. So I asked the BK person for some mustard. They looked at me like I had two heads. NO mustard in the whole store. Of course, I am flabbergasted since as an American I think all hamburgers have mustard on them and Burger King always makes it my way. Evidently not! Guess I'll put a small jar of Dijon's best in my car for these emergencies, but I will also complain because that is the French way.
Thanks Diane your information's always so helpful. I was in France in the spring and I went into a bakery and I was all set to say bonjour every time I entered a store and I was so excited about being able to say the chocolate croissant that I forgot and I just ordered it without saying bon jour. 😳 Anyway, had a great time.
If the order doesn't entail questions like "does this contain vanilla flavor?", if the order is short and straightforward like "(may I have) one chocolate croissant please", in other words if the order doesn't require the shopkeeper to spend extra time and show some extra attention, then it might be okay to entering a store without the bonjour, the shopkeeper wouldn't mind it much at all.
@teriberk1983 No...bonjour always. And you should say Messieurs / Dames if there are others in the shop when you walk through the shop door. Even asking a supermarket shelf stacker where the sugar etc is should always start with bonjour, not excuse me.
Learn how to say im sorry i dont speak French. It wjll get you everywhere. Its only americans and non french speaking canadians that i run into who refuse to do this. I think partly out of intimidation of looking stupid/failing but also...genuinely theres an entitlement to language we only have "english is the most popular language they speak it. Its not a big deal. Etc." It is. Just humble yourself for 2 seconds and accept you are a guest in another country and the customer and english is not king there
If someone "French" approaches you and speaks to you without you initiating it, politely walk away. Probably some type of scammer. French people do not normally initiate conversations with tourists/strangers.
Bonjour Diane, you have a nice channel, which should be declared as "d'utilité publique" 😄 about gun point, in france law mindset is that people have to trust official forces, such as police, "gendarmerie", army, because of french revolution. no politician want people cut their heads 😅 again or carry out an armed uprising ^^ this is why guns regulations are soooo hard. Except in Marseille 🤣😂
Bonjour. We stopped at a restaurant in Eastern Ontario 🇨🇦 and awkwardly discovered we were in the French speaking part of Canada (isn't that just Quebec? No) And we knew absolutely no French. We started talking to the waitress and she just gave us a dirty look and walked away. Soon after another waitress came to our table and took our order. It turned out that the first waitress knew only a bit more English than we knew French. Big learning curve on that trek.
Well, it only makes sense that if you want people to be helpful, you have to respect them first. Most of these points are not all that important, and no exactly bad per say. Although obviously, as she says, doing these things won't be pluses for you, either. Some points she mentions, though, may actually annoy me for real. Loud people for one, even more so when they don't care about it and refuse to tone it down, and if anyone approaches me in english. These are the worst for me. It is indeed more than just presumptuous to assume you can simply adress me in english, in France. We won the Hundred Years War, and as Jeanne d'Arc wanted, we threw the english out of France in 1453. So, i personally wish they would have taken their language with them, once and for all. I can make an effort and use english for your sake if you can't speak proper french. But if you first disrespect me by just assuming i will make all the efforts for you, just so that you can be lazy... that won't slide. Communication is a two way street.
I think the rule about aknowledging someone's presence says more about Americans that French people. I have never been to any place in the world where it was fine not to say hello when you start interacting with someone. And come to think of it, I've only been to NYC in the US but I'm pretty sure all shopkeepers and waiters said hello to me.
I was trying to buy a newspaper in Paris 20 years ago. I did not know to say bonjour. The dude Copt an triture and made fun of my English language. In hindsight it was probably because I did not say bonjour.
It's worth knowing how to say, "Sorry, I don't speak French". Many French people have some English (many youngsters are fluent), and are glad to help. On another note I often say that French eateries like to close for lunch! (Brit).
I think some of these points relate to Europe rather than France per se. Generally northern Europeans are quiter than Americans and don't like probing/personal questions from strangers. Re cars - Automatic cars have negative connotations in some European countries.
They absolutely could apply to other areas in Europe, for sure! Just to clarify, here on this channel I talk about my lived experience which is from the point of view of an American in France. Since I don't have first-hand knowledge of what's done elsewhere, I usually just keep things specific to France but often say of course France isn't the only country that does something like this. And funnily enough, when I've generalized to say something is a certain way in "Europe," people jump all over me saying no that's not true, here in Estonia we do xyz. So I stick to what I know.... France. ;-)
@@OuiInFrance It wasn't a criticism - just that your advice/tips could be useful in more than one European country. I meant to write quieter not quiter too.
Great video and tips! I was in Paris last month and loved it. I tried to get my friends traveling with me to say Bonjour and Merci in all of our interactions with locals but it was a struggle. I think it's more of a social freeze and shyness of not knowing French, let alone the culture that leads to this. It's not done with any ill intent but more of being overwhelmed I think by everything so new and different than U.S. city suburbs. Not an excuse but perhaps somewhat of an explanation. I hope all tourists, and especially Americans, will get a bit more courage about learning and using a few foreign words to make everyone feel respected and appreciated.
I would hazard that americans are simply too used to living in an exclusively english environement. This is somewhat true for us french, too, who live in an exclusively french environement. This means that many french probably have the same difficulty speaking english to tourists than your friends have to speak "some" french. Even me, i am unsure i would engage in an english conversation in the street if i can avoid it. And then, there are all these americans who complain that the french won't speak english to them, despite the fact that they don't say "bonjour" or use any french word, despite being in France and not in the USA... which sort of legitimates the fact that we don't.
Very helpful, thank you. My husband and will be spending this winter in Nice. I have been practicing saying "hello," before asking for things (like in a grocery store,) here in the US (before we set out.) It feels good to do it! I am also very aware (now) of how loud we are. We're quite excited, though I am still nervous about the swimming club locker rooms, lol.
Beware of pickpockets there! I was followed on the promenade but managed to notice so didn’t get robbed. Zipped bags. Rucksack put in front, not the back. If you have a shoulder bag, put your coat on over the strap. Otherwise, lovely place. Hope you find a boulangerie that sells good croissants as I went to two and they were awful. Have a lovely time.
What is your fear? In every french public swimming pool you will find cabins in which you can undress with all the privacy you need. There are usualy 2 separate shower zone. One for women and one for men. Everyone keeps their bathsuits while showering. And sometimes there are also one or 2 individual showers.
@@jml4774 Are you realy sure it is true? There are a lot of people who think they know what happens in a country only because they heared a rumor or they saw something once and made it a generality M. I've never heared about that kind of thing in common usage. It can probably happen in a few places but only for specific events maybe like a naturist meeting (not even sure) and in this case you would have a information. If you are scared you can ask "Est-ce qu'il y a des cabines individuelles s'il vous plaît ?". In the vast majority of swimming pools there are
The Bonjour is paramount. Most Americans who ignore this important point may return to the US saying that the French are rude, as the French consider it "Uber-rude" to not say Bonjour and will react coldly. Speaking and laughing loudly has been one of the worst thing I had to deal with when I was accompanying American tourists in France in high-end tours, as it included the highest level in matter of restaurants, cafes and boutiques. This leads to this important point that you are developing so well: Americans do not make a big difference between Private and Public. French do, very much so, and higher you go in society, and more important it becomes. Boundaries are quite different in American and in French society.
Regarding loudness, think of the following. You're coming back from work. You are tired, have a headache. You take the metro. You're trying to read a book but you cannot concentrated on it because the tourists in the seats across the aisle are talking so loudly that the entire car hears their conversation. Or you may try to have a conversation with a friend but you cannot hear each other due to the aforementioned tourists. (Add that many French understand some English without necessarily able to speak it, and the details of how you spend your holidays is of no interest to them. Even more if you pepper it with reflections how the country is badly organized for you.) The issue here is that the tourists behave as though they were in their private car, whereas they are in shared public transportation. Other they behave as though they were in an amusement park and the people around are paid employees. :)
Born and raised in the United States yet seeing Americans as rude and lacking etiquette now makes sense. I am Haitian and was exposed to intermingling with Americans in my late twenties (all of my friends and family were from the Caribbean) it was such a culture clash that I did not care for. I can't wait to relocate to France (my soul I feel was there before this life). I'm not the least fond of the American culture and can't wait to be surrounded by those who practice the etiquette I am accustomed to.
Boy, the french seem picky when it comes to tourists. Its one thing from a tourist, its another from a foreigner that decides to stay in france to live. Ive heard that there are at least some french that know English. I think it would be appropriate for a tourist to ask firstbif speak English too. I dont expect tourists to know the language when traveling, but it would be great if they did. I for one enjoy learning some words in different languages.
No, if the foreigner decides to stay in France, he will have to become fluent in french. As Diane did. Just a few words won't cut it. At all. As for speaking english to tourists, it completely depends on the tourists. Depending on how they approach me, i may remember my english, or completely forget about it. Which is exactly why Diane's advices are so important for those who want to come here.
Diane, you mentioned the stick shift on French cars. I can drive a stick shift, but I was curious if the shifting pattern was the same as standard transmission American cars.
Yup, it's exactly the same. Just like in the US, some cars have 5 gears and others 6. And some have the reverse as a press down, up and to the left and others are different, but same variations as cars in the US.
@@OuiInFrance I grew up in a small town in the South. The culture there was not too much different than France. If you did not say hello, good day or good morning before speaking to someone, you were not going to be treated with much respect. They will bless your heart.
Hi Diane, thanks for your nice videos - I am french, and find them great to understand US expectations. For tips here, the most usual behavior I see: For a casual coffee or a beer ("un demi") no tip or rounding up is fine. For a full meal, especially for a full table of 4+ people, a tip of 5% is what you'd leave if you found the service and the food really nice - anything more shows that you think it went "beyond expectations" - or that you're a big tipper ;). Waiters in France have a work contract, and are paid at or above the french minimum wage (about $13/h). The tips most often get pooled.
It is important to note that while the salary may be 13, the pay includes many advantages that do not exist in the USA. So, the real pay may really be the double, from an american understanding.
I am not american but I used to act like one by not saying "bonjour" to everyone, everytime... more because I was shy and awkward growing up as kid... 😅
The only text you may find on some t-shirts are random texts that have no intended meaning. Wearing a t-shirt with a political slogan is not something i ever saw. I can only imagine it in one occasion: during riots, to illustrate the motives for the rioting. If worn in everyday life, i can only see complete idiots who want to be a laughingstock. Why you ask? That's the last thing you would do here. If you have a political opinion, simply shoving it in everyone's face by wearing a t-shirt will achieve nothing. Obviously. If you want to spread this opinion, you will have to demonstrate how you master politics and various topics, by debating and explaining properly why this opinion really makes the most sense. Wearing a t-shirt like that is the same as saying "i have an opinion, just because. I dunno why, but still, i have it". Something a moron would do. In France, discussing politics is not a taboo like it is in the USA, so the t-shirt makes no sense.
When does it become appropriate to kiss on the cheek. As you see the same people more often or if you are brought to a meal or someone’s house. I would not think this is not appropriate with someone serving you or are there a set of rules there such as repeated visits to small family restaurants? As I have traveled Europe, I have had a goal to mix in. It has been a great triumph when a native has asked me something in the native language.
You definitely don't faire la bise with waiters or store employees or anything like that (unless you know them well). Usually, la bise is reserved for friends and family (when you arrive at their house or at a restaurant and first see them) or when being introduced to friends or family. Like even if you've never met your cousin's girlfriend, upon meeting her at a family party, it's appropriate to do the bise. Context is always important and I'd let the French person lead. When you see them leaning in toward you, get ready to cheek kiss.
@@Dak36 Diane understands it. She understands the details. And because she is american, she can actually explain things that we can't explain ourselves, because it is too close to us. Diane's channel is very possibly the best channel about France on the internet. I mean, what she says CAN be trusted. More and more so.
A good traditional French restaurant in Paris is Bouillon Chartier. It is not expensive and is open continuously from 11:30 to midnight. Even drinks are below usual prices. Here is where you should go between 14 hr and 18 hr, otherwise you risk waiting in line for sometime.
It's quite common in more rural areas to greet someone in the USA with a good morning or afternoon or similar, but in the city, much less common. Of course, in business you also greet people, but it also really depends on the role and what you're doing. A lot of men seem to really not care about greetings. They will sometimes as a formality greet someone, but the other person sometimes or frequently responds like "good, now..... addressing whatever the topic they wanted to talk about is." They'll say it in a way that indicates they'll respond to your greeting with a response, but they believe it's a waste of time and want to just get to the point of the reason for communicating with you. Chatting up strangers is something very odd to me. I was in a queue in a large clinic, waiting for a vaccine for covid, and two people began chatting quite loud about having cancer. I thought as I was standing there listening "why are these people talking about this? None of them are doctors or have any control over their medical outcome. This is odd, and they're talking very loudly about very personal things."
Your videos are great! I agree with practically every point you make in each, great job. Bonjour is definitely a must, Bonjour Madame/Monsieur is even better.
I love how you still feel bad about not tipping and still end up doing it; but really the norm is don't tip at all, nobody expects you to; you can tip if you really want or round up but don't feel pressured to. specially since bar and restaurants have become really expensive and quite of a luxury. Conversely if I go to a country where tipping is the norm I will consider that the tip is just a fixed tax and automatically add it to the bill; regardless of the quality of service or food.
This is broken english. Try again? We are perfectly fine with being disliked by anyone who feels like basic respect is annoying. We are more interested in attracting educated people than hobbos. As long as this can put these people away from us, we welcome any degree of dissing.
When I went to France, the tip is included automatically to your bill. That's why you don't need to tip, they calculated and add it on the bill already!
I've never seen that. Not sure if you're talking about "service compris," a line item you'll see on the receipt. If so, your server won't get any of that.
@@carolineseguin-ro5vt "service compris" mean: the wage of the whole staff is calculated in the price specified on the receipt. Whatever tip you add to it is to your discretion and to recompense good service/food. beware. Some establishment will replace the "service compris" formula with "tip non included"... in English... this is an incentive directed at tourists (US ones in particular I guess) and is borderline illegal since I believe the "service compris" formula is mandatory...
@@carolineseguin-ro5vt There are no tips in France. Because, as opposed to the USA, waiters have a proper full salary, and are not enslaved for 2 or 3 dollars an hour. When tips are given by customers, they won't necessarily go to the waiter. Oftentimes, they are shared between the staff, including the cook. I hardly ever give tips myself.
For 40 years I traveled frequently to over 40 countries. It was of course impossible to learn all the languages and dialects, but to reinforce your point, one can usually master a handful of words, and several useful expressions. I used to tell people I spoke 32 words in 32 languages. But if you travel much less, and spend more time in a few places, nothing opens doors with people and the mind more than studying a foreign language.
The "bonjour" in French is important. It means you ackowledge we are not another Disneyland. Meal times : a way of life, a time for everything 😅 Could not believe how Americans would be chomping on something anywhere anytime.
basically if you go in france every steps that you take personally to be as far as the "easy way" to do things will be praised, we won't try to make it harder for you to be here but we will accept you more if you put more effort than it's convenient, like driving manual cars against automatic, or buying bread to the bakery to make your own sandwiches instead of buying pre-mades ones, those things we do mostly for pride of ourselves and if we see you do it too, we'll be more than happy to share this pride with you, if it's easy it's a child thing, if it could have been easier you did theright thing, example : you wait 5min to take a bus for 2 stations ? the bus bring you here in 4min, you could have walked 7min to be at the same place, you would gain 2min of your time while the walking is better for your heart and it would have been more space in the bus for elderly/children/disabled people, the bicycle is a good alternative too but bike circulation especially in paris can be a bit rough
Younger Americans often don't respect space. Example: on a fine summer day at Leeds Castle in Kent, England, many your tourists were gathered on the spacious grounds enjoying sun and shade. A couple were a slight distance away throwing a frisbee. Not far enough away in my judgment, and of course they were Americans.
I'll never forget the shame and horror I felt when two American women got on the metro in Paris and started loudly and obliviously discussing a visit to the gynaecologist with lots of extremely intimate details!!!
Agree, as an American I feel like our manners have slipped greatly. The south, still for the most part has manners, but the north east has gone down the toilet. Thanks for the video.
Hi! I haven't seen your vids for a while, and I hope you, Tom, your families and of course your Cavalier are all doing well. Remy (my Blenheim Cav) say "Hi" too.
It's always informative and fun to listen to your insights and advice. I am looking forward to another shopping excursion soon - I hope! - into the market.
