My sister suffered from the 'Happy Ever After' belief, when she married a man who was a 'Mummy's Boy' and then expected him to change. He worked hard, gave her two beautiful daughters and didn't ask much in return, just an occasional night out with his friends. When a very good workmate died, he went to the funeral and informed my sister he would be going to the Wake and would be home late, so don't wait up for him. When he came home somewhat the worse for wear, she laid into him like it was the end of the world, when all she had to do, was help him to bed; but no, she carried on like he had committed a criminal offence. Being drunk and more than somewhat distressed at the loss of his friend, he pushed her away from him and she fell on her butt. Her response, was to call the Police and have him arrested and charged for assault. Having spent the night in a police cell, he came home to find she'd changed the door locks and had seen a Solicitor and sued him for divorce. The interesting thing is, my sister was a nasty piece of work, even when she was a schoolgirl, always telling lies to my parents, just to see me get into trouble, because my father always believed her and not me. The irony of all this is, that three years later, he met and married a woman who had her own business and her own expensive home and he's lived happily ever after; whereas, she has gone from relationship to relationship and now lives alone in a granny flat. If that's not Justice, I don't know what is. In the Military, that's known as 'Self-Inflicted Injury'.
My sister in-law did the same thing. My brother in-law was working 10-12 hour days to pay for their huge house and luxury living. He was a VP making $225K a year. My sister in-law had an accounting degree but worked five months before she quit and stayed home. They were Married 14 years before they had kids. One day he came home and broke the news he was fired. She got into a huge fight and got in his face. She called the cops and he was arrested. She changed the locks and divorced him. It was a nasty divorce which she accused him of all sorts of things he didn’t do to win the house and kids which she did. He found another job making more money and moved on with his life. He remarried a woman in his field. Todays my sister in-law is the size of a walrus from drinking like a fish and eating like a pig. I doubt he’d recognize her.
I hear you, brother, my college educated yuppy sister is also a very sanctimonious self-focused cunt. She's a church lady, too, who will make sure you are aware that God smiles especially brightly when his eyes light on her very Victorian, self righteous self. After 5 years of dating the guy, she got married at 40. Not only was she a virgin when she married, (she would beat you over the head with that fact if she suspected you were even slightly unaware) to make sure God had at least one saint he could point to as an example of how to do moral rectitude and righteousness, she didn't even kiss the guy for the first time until THE END of the wedding ceremony. I joked with my dad and brother that she liked being a virgin so much that she would probably keep being one after the wedding. Ha ha. While dating I think they occasionally held hands in the car but only when under way and with their seatbelts on, wouldn't want to give their carnal passions any room to explode into a bragging rights destroying (choke) KISS. Fast forward to 6 months after the wedding. My brother in law (sounds like a decent fellow, I've never met him, didn't go to their sham of a make believe high religion wedding) calls my dad just to chat, shoot the shit a little, was asking about the best way to trap a mouse in my sister's room. Realizes what he's let slip and tries to back pedal but my dad was beyond sharp, while he would never let on that he had heard or seen something, he never missed the tiniest detail. Couple weeks later brother in law calls my dad in a panic, "what do I have to do to get her to sleep with me?" I was only joking about my sister wanting to remain a virgin but it turned out she wasn't. SHE HAD HER OWN FUCKING BEDROOM FOR AT LEAST HALF A YEAR AFTER THE WEDDING. Kept putting her husband off saying, "I just don't feel comfortable doing it yet." I don't know how many years it took but he finally got to nail her, they have 2 kids which may represent 100% breeding efficacy, I don't know. Don't know if the kids are normal, she selfishly waited until deep into her 40's to have her first kid(had her non-existent career that had to come first) which is a recipe for birth defects but I'm sure if they are messed up, she'll stand up in church every Sunday and bang on about how God is giving her strength and walking beside her every day as she bears up (righteously, of course) under the challenge he's given her to test her faith because he knows she is strong enough to prove how good he is to those who love him with all their heart blahblahblah. Sounds like the brother in law is living a resigned life of institutional level depression and despair. Too bad, sounds like he deserves better but he had 5 years to get away, my brothers, dad and I several times discussed whether we should warn him away but never got around to it.
Imagine being a negative, controlling, grudge holding , mistrusting person and yet thinking the fault with your relationships is other people. Seems fairly narcissistic to me.
Find out what men want, give it to him without expectation, he'll go above and beyond. Be a demanding bitch that's never happy and watch him walk away.
This pretty much sums up why most of the bachelors I know don't want to marry. Women exhibit a bait and switch when they transition from a dating to marriage. A lot of women look at men as a TOOL to fulfil their goals rather than a living breathing person.
Yup, my experience every time. Either that or we're just a stop-over until they can find a guy of higher value to them. I'm staying single for the rest of my days, as it's soooo much less complicated. The challenges of relationships far outweigh the rewards.
many relationship problems are rooted in the fact that many women, while dating, are secretly planning to change the man, while the man is assuming the woman is being genuine and won't change.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 it is a little suspicious how many women dramatically change within weeks/months of getting married. It strains the ability to not think genuineness is lacking
@@georgewashington938 Marriage changes the dynamic of a relationship and perhaps that happens sooner on one level. But what I was referring to was after about a decade or more the woman changes, as does the marriage
As if I would like to drive a Porsche, but can only afford a Beatle and plan to „fix“ the delta afterwards. Yeah, I changed over the last 25y, but so did my ex. In the end I did not need to complain that she spent most time laying on the couch, even cleaning some spot in the house by myself was a deadly insult. Just met a friend from school recently (after 40y) and he answered to „do you have a family?“ with „no, was never able to decide“. Somehow he’s a lucky guy. Not really, I would miss my children, but I would liked to have missed their mother.
Husbands get tired when they are told to make decisions and then the wife just criticizes what he decides to do. I have seen too many women who run around telling men what they "should" want in a partner. Totally ignoring what men say they want in a partner and then the women complain they can't find a good man.
"women who run around telling men what they "should" want in a partner. Totally ignoring what men say they want in a partner" yes agree. This is very self-centered and manipulative.
My manipulating ex-wife repeatedly asked me what do I expect her to do to support my leadership. My answer was childishly simple: build her career by getting a job. I encouraged her to do something fulfilling with a meaningful career path. Her response: passive aggressive behavior - do nothing, stay home, eat bon bons, compose excessively long emails that no one has the time to read, waste time on social media reading about other people’s restaurant/vacation/new home/new car/mani-pedi-cure asventures that is so much more exciting than her own -> leading to a downward spiral of continuous dissatisfaction. She kicked herself to the curb, I onoy wished she had done it sooner!
My dad avoids all difficult conversations. He wanted a superficial bimbo, but my mom got smarter as she aged. His brothers also wanted bimbos for wives and now they are broke and out on the streets/dead because those bimbos took everything from them. Dad would have lost everything, too, but mom saved him. Some men constantly make bad decisions and need some guidance. Life isn't all rainbows and butterflies. Kill the ego and do what is best as a team.
I have a sister with 9 cats who hand makes special treats for them, has a grid on the wall of what to feed them and when, cleans all their litter boxes and sits on the couch petting them and talking to them in a comforting way. If ANY WOMAN did that for a man, they would be climbing over the walls to get to her.
Women also like to be kind to random assorted poor people who are strangers by joining a charitable cause. God help you though if you're her mate and you lose your income. You'd have to seek compassion from the charity, because you wouldn't get any directly from her.
@@kaiserpuppydog7174 Yes, my niece is ashamed that her father is 'only' a police officer and doesn't make enough money to keep her in the style of her sorority girlfriends yet she doesn't earn anything and when set to a store with a $20 bill, says she gave your change to a bum on the street.
I'm sorry but it's clear to me that many women have evolved a strategy to retain a man via abuser tactics. The micro-managing is clearly an attempt to systematically break down his confidence by putting him in a double bind. If he doesn't help enough, he's wrong; if he does, he's still wrong for not doing it her way. Even if you learn to do it correctly, her nesting instincts ensure that she's filled the house with all sorts of useless junk that has to be cleaned/sorted in a very specific way so you'll always be guilty of doing something incorrectly. Her goal is to create an environment wherein you are always wrong & always at fault so your confidence plummets & other women will never find you attractive. Another abuser tactic they love is to identify the objects / hobbies that are important to you & insert themselves in between so you have to ask them for 'permission' to gain access to it.
those women acts as the aristocratic women 19th and 20th century , having a husband for status, including a quicky now and then, and in 60% cases a lover at hand
I have never asked my wife for permission to do anything or go anywhere. She has no say in what I do or who I hang out with. Always has been this way and always will be. If she don't like it she's free to leave at any time
Rory, I’ve never seen a better written description of my marriage. Thankfully I asked for a divorce 2 years ago and it was the best move in my life. I’m still gradually recovering but my trust in women has been shattered. The kick in the teeth moment was my wife kicking me out of the house while I was suffering from PTSD and needed her more than ever before.
@@SammifromMiami im grateful that shes become less of an ahole over time. We split holiday time with the kids mostly 50/50. Though i live too far away to have the kids on weekends. Im still a part of their lives. I count myself lucky on that front.
1. She has her guard up: 5:58 2. They micromanage: 9:55 3. They won't let go and learn to receive: 13:05 4. They complain and or nag: 14:03 5. They assume the worst instead of the best of their man: 15:10
1) when she lets her guard down, the man abuses uses her or is incredibly irresponsible 2) when they don't micromanage, important tasks don't get done 3)they were never offered anything to receive; they are natural givers, and the men and ppl around her are takers 4)they grow frustrated with always giving giving giving to the ungrateful takers 5) when they assume the best in their man, he disappoints her, cheats, abuses her, lies, is irresponsible with money, etc. and doesn't even admit his mistake
@chrisharris2367 - Finally some logic! A lot of men aren't even fully functioning adults so women end up being more of a mommy figure which is a relationship killer. She can't trust him to do anything because what she has witnessed in the past, has been incompetence. Logic tells you to do it yourself or try to get him to step up. Folks like this Podcaster are not living in reality. The issue is unfortunately women are reacting to men's incompetence. Instead of telling men to act like adults, she criticizes women for noticing that the bar for men is low.
100% True. All the micromanagement, nagging, negativity, complaining, assuming the worst, (and then my ex wondered why I wasn't motivated to do anything) these are the reasons I'm divorced. BUT YOU MISSED #6... sex and romance. My ex absolutely made sex into a chore like everything else on her list of things to do. It was minimalist, begrudging, perfunctory and infrequent. If you are not going to take care of a man's sexual needs, he's not going to take care of all your other needs...and you women have a lot of other needs.
So true! The wife will happily have her husband put in 40 hours on a project she wants (and she feels angry and betrayed if he isn't every bit as enthusiastic about it as she is), then grudgingly give him 15 minutes of what he wants and feel like she made some major concession.
Stay single guys. Trust me as a 50 year old man, the juice ain't worth the squeeze. Keep your sanity and make yourself the best person you can be for your limited time on this earth.
No, this might seem crazy. Date as many women as you can. Develop an understanding of their nature and tactics. Use this knowledge to select the best wife. Family life is harder than ever for men. Life isn't easy. You need to be as cunning as them.
I agree with Suzanne completely, I am always grateful for everything my husband does me and in turn he treats like I am the only woman in world. He is such a wonderful provider and I’m am so protected!!!
Your speaking truth to power. You could have called this “5 ways woman sabotage their marriages” or “5 ways woman create their own divorce”. Men have their own faults as well of course, but these behaviors are incredibly destructive to a relationship.
Thanks Suzanne! I spent 30 years with my (now) ex-wife. She was a strong-willed, contentious woman. She constantly belittled, criticized and nagged me. I wasn't a perfect husband but I was a good one (father too). I provided for my family, shared in duties and more. But over the course of many years of walking on eggshells, I snapped. My ex-wife had a bad relationship with her father and I think it manifested into the type of women you describe in this podcast. I'm free now (divorced) and sometimes I feel I have some form of PTSD from it, if that is possible. Your words help bring answers and closure for me. Thanks!
Yes you have ptsd and also your level of testosterone might be low because of the abuse. You can recover with therapy, excercise, diet and suplements specially to raise testosterone. Im a lady, but I have studies on this. Wish you well and enjoy your freedom.
@@yabe1496 thank you! I’m doing well now. I’m finding answers to my questions and doubts. But I have some days I think about how and why I got through things. Thanks again, God bless.
Suzanne Suzanne, how right you are. Over the past couple years I've started to take off the kid gloves with women who want to go pound for pound. But it's even interesting to me how I melt when a woman is nice and feminine. It's like a primal instinct to want to go to the end of earth for a caring woman.
I gave my wife exactly what she asked for. She asked for a divorce on Sunday. I had two real estate agents in on Tuesday to give me appraisels. She wanted to know why I didn't discuss it with her. Told her if she didn't like my agents she could hire her own. She was no longer a part of my decision process. Careful what you ask for. You may get it!
As a 56 year old single by choice man who owns his own business and has plenty to offer a woman in all aspects of a relationship, what you have said in this video is right on the mark. It isn't men's fault or the lack of good men that are single, keeping women single or bad husbands keeping their wives miserable and making her unhappy. It's women doing it to themselves. First, most women have no respect for men. Period. Women think they are better, smarter, and feel superior for reasons that society has trained them to be that way since about the time I was in kindergarten, around 1965. Women since that time growing up had everything catered to them in school and in social settings. Women (girls) had teachers adjust the way a classroom was taught to help girls with different curriculum and certain classroom settings. Girls were easier to teach they weren't full of energy like boys and girls could focus better on subjects and they did their homework when boys were playing sports or exploring other activities challenging themselves and competing against each other the way they have done since the beginning of time. Girls got better grades without actually being smarter than boys but got scholarships just because they were female. Girls (women) became the highest number of college/university grads and outnumber young men in grad school, law school, Med school, and again, not because they are smarter than men but because the education system caters to females. Then even the females who only finished high school, have been put on pedestals their whole lives and have had everything done for them or given to them by boys and men who were cultivated from birth basically to worship women and to believe women are infallible and perfect sweet angels that deserve everything just for having a vagina. That gives women at a very young age a superiority complex, a princess complex, a deep rooted narcissism, and they look at boys and men as tools, as the help that will also pay for her way through life. And men don't know any better, sometimes their whole lives they aren't men but resource providers in a losing battle to keep spoiled women content when she will never be content, ever. And as soon as she is bored with the man and he no longer entertains her enough, isn't elevating her social status, and isn't a man she can brag about to other women as the best slave of her peer group plantation owners she is already planning her escape without the man ever knowing until the day she tells him he has to move out and her lawyer will contact him to sign over the house and kids etc... Feminism and the pill and no fault divorce is what ruined women's lives and they don't even see it. They are so self absorbed and brainwashed that they have no clue that they are their own worst enemy.
This is the best narration I've seen on this problem. Especially inregards to academic achievement. The situation has gotten worst recently thanks to social media.
My experience from my 23 year (and going) marriage is that there are no water-walkers in a marriage. And no mind-readers. So I blame myself for the way I am treated in my marriage-people treat me how I let them treat me and if I don’t like it, it’s my job to fix it. Any authority my wife has over me, I granted to her, and I can, will, and have retracted it as needed if I feel it is being abused. Not all at once, and once retracted it is never re-granted. This is clearly communicated when it occurs, no appeal, no debate. We each have our areas of competence, and I will stray outside mine when needed or asked. In these instances I will make reciprocal any criticism of anything I do that is not to the other’s preference-this street is going two ways or else it’s a head-on collision. Finally, I have updated the colloquial expression: happy spouse, happy house. And this has been agreed upon, generally speaking.
I'm tired of the excuses these women give of "he's not worthy of me following because I can't trust his leadership" BS. Then don't get with him in the first place! If you do not believe a man is worth following... stay single or choose someone else!
If I can play the Devil's Advocate, she'll say that this was the best guy available to her, and that she tried her best to help him, but that he just wasn't able to learn. So, now he's lucky just to have her.
@@francisdashwood1760 the "best" man for her is one that she TRUSTS and one that she doesn't have to "help"! Men don't do this. They find a woman that they want AS IS. Women try to change or build a man. Then they get on this merry-go-round of "he's not good enough" or "he's not changing"! Women have to put an end to this. Choose a man that you actually LIKE and that you actually WANT as is! Give up this idea of changing him. More than likely, it's not going to happen.
@@BetterLoveMovement I was responding to the initial comment about following a man and trusting his leadership. A woman will say that she gave a guy chance, but that he just didn't work out.
I hear a lot of stuff like this in the church. "I'm not undercutting and sabotaging my husband's leadership (yes, you are) I'm trying to help him be the Godly man and leader God wants him to be" (No, you're not)
#1 THEY don't know what they want #2 They DON'T KNOW what they want #3 They don't know WHAT they want #4 They don't know what THEY want #5 They don't know what they WANT Any questions???
I still remember when my gf of four years would come in the kitchen and monitor and criticize me as I did dishes; meanwhile her clothes are all over the house and the cats litter box is full. But somehow she feels it's more important to oversee the way I load spoons in the drying rack. NEVER EVER again will I tolerate anything that seems to suggest that a women is feeling like or LOOKING at me like that. I'll peace out and let her die in the wilderness
Oh yeah! This was the last straw for me. I will no walk on egg shells on my own house, I will not tolerate nagging or behavior that is healthy.. Kick rocks!
It is literally a compromise to your survival if you want to stay and entertain a woman when she is being like this. Your blood pressure will go up. Cortisol increases and you gain stress weight. If you're prone to using substances to cope this is maybe the worst situation to stay strong and clean. Even if you are okay and you want to start a new working out routine, it's going to be twice as hard because the woman you are dealing with is like a bucket with a hole on it, you keep putting in more and more but it's more mess all over the place. Now you're trying to apologize or fix something and the energy gets completely wasted. As of you had been arguing with a camel or a Christmas tree.
Men work full time and do their laundry, cooking, cleaning. While maintaining house, yard, cars, computers, investments Yet, she will tell you how to do it better And act as if things will never get done. (I get everything done according to my schedule) What is wrong with this picture?
I think I did that twice to my husband (boyfriend at the time), before he told me he didn't want to do them anymore. I think he has done them a handful of times when I was either sick or during/after our sons are born. I prefer it that way, I like my dishes done a specific way and I struggle when people try to help.
When she said that women need to remember how they felt when their man did something for them when they were dating really resonated with me. I’ve seen so many women be like “Oh whatever you want!” When asked where they want to eat or where they want to go … BUT after marriage it becomes, “YOU WILL OBEY ME!”
1 they don't trust 2 they micro manage 3 they won't let go ( this one was a bit ambiguous ) 4 they're negative 5 they assume the worse of men. So basically, if a woman hates men, constantly belittles them, nags them, criticise them and has only contempt for men, this doesn't lead to a healthy relationship for her; don't spare a thought for what it's like for him though... I don't know what's happened to women, in the past women idolised men, screamed at boy bands, took a compliment as a compliment, but now women have a default setting of hostility towards men. Sure feminism plays a part, but it's only allowed to demonise men because all women let it.
I agree, though I'm going to be the devils advocate. Media isn't portraying very respectable men. Men look more like women these days, are overly feminized, and are lacking the masculinity women need and respect. If you want women to respect men, men also need to he respectable and masculine. Not saying that women don't have the work to do, too, because they definitely do! Though men need to stop being so cowardly towards their women, just tell her no. Women actually need to her that lol. Though women also need to be in the receiving role for this to work. We have a lot of work to do 🤣
Women also need to stand up for men when other women demonize them, I would agree with that. The trash talk that goes around about men doesn't help. Can we bring back the wild west cowboys? They wouldn't put up with this.
No where is Any Accountability On Women and What They Had to do to have a healthy relationship. It's all about Minipulation. Then wonder why all the men I see next to me just check out. Let alone discuss laws, behavior, attitudes. And lost on many multi millionaire I know
Oh boy, you make a very good point that male role models are few and far between.... I guess the first ones that come to mind are 1. Jordan B. Peterson 2. Adam B. Coleman 3. Jonathan Pageau on RU-vid 4. Stefan Molyneux 5. Finding a church father that you aspire to locally, or maybe your family members @Chris G
I was at a family gathering recently and noticed how many of the women acted like alpha-male peacocks. We men folk were kinda off to one side talking when one of the wives came over to join in. Her husband was in the group. It was obvious what she was doing, trying to act masculine. That is, her version of masculinity, which is not even accurate. She was loud, poking fun at her husband, who's very successful in his profession. She tried to take over the whole group. It was a total turn off.
My family is the same. The men are lost. I have been divorced for 30 yrs. The women to come over and take cheep shots at me. The look one their faces when I put them in their place is priceless.
My family is the same. Women/wives all “in control”, all alpha. The men don’t ever stand up to these women because then sparks will fly. I feel bad for them. I never married so I can see it all objectively.
@@jonm57It is not worth the ensuing, childish fight (that women can wage ad nauseam, unlike us who don't see the point and tire of it very quickly). Let them posture and try to enjoy your time with the other blokes.
Working in a church, what I hear constantly is women complaining about their husbands and telling stories to make their husbands look like a fool. Men never talk about their wives. They mostly talk about hobbies and sports.
Have worked in offices for many years, mostly with ladies "of a certain age". To overhear them talk about their husbands, it's never anything positive about them.
When women tell each other things, it's to vent and normally because heaven tried telling their husbands for change and they've gotten defensive and upset. Women can vent with each other or divorce
@@steph6109 Stop making excuses. Women are horrible reputation destroyers not just of their husbands but also of each other and anyone else who gets in their way.
ladies, your man probably spends all day at work being told what to do by his boss, who is probably a crap boss full of negativity and who tells him what to do and how to do it all day. He puts up with that for the money, which he then plans on giving to you or spending for your benefit who will then be made happy and that will make it worth it. But when he comes home, you are not giving him money, and if you act the way his boss does but you still expect him to give you money, he has no reason to do work for you, and what he does do he won't be happy about.
After YEARS of abuse from a WOMAN, I am FREE. 56 Years old and I never looked back. She begged to come back for 5 years and I said NO NO NO! No dating at all for 11 years.
I'm 60+, been married twice, been divorced for 20 years now, and these have been the happiest days of my life. I look back on my married days and realize I made sacrifices that were never reciprocated or even appreciated. Women do not respect men anymore, they simply see us as a tool to get what they want. Being single is the best option nowadays, save your money, treasure your time, enjoy your freedom and protect your sanity. Stay single, my friends.
Close to 60, married twice and soon to divorced twice. Someone asked me „how is it to live in a small flat instead of a house?“. The simple answer „it’s mine“. Only children and grandchildren are allowed to move around my stuff. Before my ex had this as a hobby. Hiding my stuff, requesting impossible things, …
Yet the Lord says marriage is honorable. The Lord says 2 are better than one. Please don't generalize about women. You need a Godly, humble woman. They do exist! I look forward to honoring my future spouse. I used to be difficult because I didn't know any better. Because of culture and my terrible upbringing. Jesus changed all that!
For most of human history, the men were hunting and gathering while the women tended the hearth. Until fairly recently, this was the standard family arrangement, and it let each sex have its own little world where they didn’t bother each other more than necessary. It’s unrealistic to expect men and women to adapt to constant contact and “equality” over just a few generations.
Bullshit. Women were hunters too. All archaeological evidence proves this. Under Roman law, women were banned from carrying weapons. It's since then that men started to think of us as less than equal. Just as you obviously do.
@@louisavondart9178 so what is the excuse for women thinking of men as less than their equal? I.E. men are relationally inferior, or worse at child rearing, or their emotions are not deep enough? I've read and heard all of these judgments of male inferiority. What is the excuse for women wielding these thoughts of male inferiority?
I recognized early in life that these problems are primarily a issue in the English-speaking Western world. I have traveled to Asia and Latin America and seen first hand how much better it is in those regions and how bad it has become in The US. American women have unrealistic expectations without offering a fair exchange in return. I finally gave up and live outside the US. Any man who is of marriage age is a fool if he thinks he will find a suitable wife in the US.
I feel for you, "Joel" if you are listening to this podcast. I am at the tail end of a divorce - a divorce which I did not choose. In theory, I believe people should not get divorced. However, this is something I did not choose so I choose to make the best of it. I am a shift worker so in a 24 day rotation, I am off 14 days. The children are with me fully 50% of the time. I play violin and before Covid, played with the local community orchestra, even playing for a musical production of "The Addams Family" with the local Theatre. Great fun! I need a way to survive "divorce rape", so I have a miniature jersey cow - a specialty breed that is much easier to manage than regular cows and are very expensive. They mini cows are actually cheaper to maintain the regular cows but I can sell the calves for more money as they are a specialty breed. I will also learn to make all my own diary prodcuts, ice cream cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, butter and have my own beef if I have a bull calf - which is not worth as much money as a female. I will expand my herd to four cows and then start selling calves after that. Putting out hay, water, cleaning the stall is not horribly hard work so this is definitely a home business I can do at least until I am 70 and maybe later than that. I remember what it was like being with an angry, controlling, micro-managing wife. It was Hell everyday. I had a boss at work and another boss at home. I made over $200 000 a year when she had never earned more than $2000 a month in her life and it was NEVER good enough. Women don't treat anyone but their husbands that terribly. I even said to my wife when we were together, "who treats people the way you treat me"? Like I said, I didn't choose this, but frankly speaking, I am happier now that it is just my children, me and my cow. I hope this helps somehow.
I do tell my wife to treat me like her coworkers, every now and then. She doesn't realize how poorly she treats me sometimes. They just feel entitled to it, as if it was normal.
It is unfortunate the advice on this channel is effectively aimed at women, yet it seems the viewers seem to skew male. The guy at the start, for example, has no choice but to divorce. A woman who knows things are wrong and refuses to engage with attempt to address her behaviour is a lost cause. Pull the rip cord, get out.
@TradMum There is the aggregate stat of RU-vid that skews male but then certain types of content skew massively one way or other. Make-up and "level-up" skews massively female, manosphere and DIY/mechanical skews massively male. Given that this is a woman talking from a womans perspective about relationships you would expect the skew should be in a female direction.
It might help if she wrote a romance fiction and wove the lessons into it. Alison Armstrong did that and she said it was a big boost to her reach to women. She says that a lot of women don’t want to bother with the instructional format but are fascinated with relationship/romance stories, and can absorb some of the lessons in passing. It also makes sense that many would be deterred, in that it would be much easier to listen to the mainstream girl power narrative than take on the burden of responsibility of self improvement.
@TradMum Unfortunately, I can not recommend her currently released novels to anyone with a traditional Judeo-Christian moral code regarding ‘intimacy’ (which I thought might fit within ‘TradMum’ territory) as it strongly violates it (like many/most romance novels now). I made the mistake of giving the novel (without having read it, myself) to a married Christian woman I know in the hope of her getting the same lessons from the story that I had learned from the lectures and interviews. She was shocked and offended by the book and on that basis rejected the lessons and refuses to hear any more of Alison’s work. Her husband told me, though, that during the brief time she was reading it, she treated him much better, and that this improvement dissolved afterward when she rejected it. Alison Armstrong’s interviews and educational lectures and books are rather good, though. I disagree with some bits here and there, but it is some of the best stuff on the topic of male/female relationships and communication that I have encountered. Edit: I have heard that they (her team) may be considering releasing a ‘cleaner’ book or a ‘cleaner’ version of the original book.
I’m 59 now … great thing for me I’ve noticed as a 59 year old man … I no longer give a damn what women need. After decades of all the male bashing, manipulation, condescension and outright selfishness … it’s great to no longer care. Young guys … one day when you’re less intent to act on your urges … you too will free yourself from the drama.
Ive fought that urge very sucessfull and my career is going very well, going from a apprentice, to Factory worker, to Buyer in procurement with good chances to make it to management in 6 years. I almost wish someone would break my heart again, the last heart break Was very productive
This is all very reasonable, but sadly a little "after the horse has bolted." Lots of men are so stung and damaged by female behaviours that it's pretty much impossible to get them to trust women ever again.
For increasing numbers of men who haven't been burned yet, they're looking at the divorce-data, as well as listening to anecdotal stories about burned men). Intellectually, they're seeing no positives to trying to partner with a woman and a host of dangerous risks in doing so. So many of them have made the decision to never risk trusting a woman that the marriage and birth rates are in a steep plummet. Women are so used to being emotion-led that they try to transfer their emotionalism on why men are walking away from them, when the majority of MGTOW-men are making an intellect-led decision bases on the statistical evidence of divorce-data and anecdotal evidence from divorced men. The two largest demographics of MGTOW-men are young men who were raised by single and divorced mothers, and the other group being older, divorced men. The combination of these two groups adds up to being a tremendously-large percent of the adult-male population. MGTOW is the effect that rampant female-narcissism and abuse of males has caused. Women refuse to see the cause-and-effect at play, continuing to be emotion-led, and are frustrated by intellect-led men not responding to their emoting. With so many men ignoring them, they've been forced into flooding the internet with articles, forum-posts, and videos, complaining about uninterested men being "incels" and "man-babies". Since men aren't engaging them much, it's become a female echo-chamber. Women try to portray themselves as great communicators when they're really only exercising one half of what makes communication possible. They're talking to and about men and refusing to listen to men. When men are constantly met with mockery and insults when they try to communicate with women, they give up and MGTOW happens. Women killed marriage as an institution by making it too risky and dangerous for men to partner with them. Men are quietly nailing the coffin shut and walking away. Women empowered themselves into being left alone. Now, they're having difficulty coping with their self-created loneliness.
The micromanagement thing is so true. I won't let my husband fold the laundry because I don't like how he does it 😂 but it works out OK because I let him help me with other things around the house. I think we're both better off if I just do the tasks myself that I'll nitpick about and he does other tasks that I don't feel so strongly about the way they should be done.
My wife and I have an arrangement. She makes the small inconsequential decisions and manages the household to her satisfaction. I could care less. She is an expert at it. If she needs help she can hire it. I make all the major decisions and provide the money. I am an expert at my job. We basically enjoy life with no arguments or hassles. She is provided for and protected.
OMG, I'm 73 and you described my X-wife to the "T" ...... notice I wrote X. My best story: One day Debby became very frustrated trying to balance our checkbook and started berating me for not helping (she always kept the checkbook in her purse). So, frustrated with her, I said give me the damn checkbook and I will take over managing it and our finances, BUT!!! I WILL DO IT MY WAY, NOT YOUR WAY, DEAR. Well, that lasted less than a minute, she grabbed the checkbook, cursed a bit and I never touched our checkbook again...true story
Most of the things Suzanne mentioned seem to align with what I categorize as things that position the woman as the opposition instead of being an ally. Men will do anything, include giving their lives for an ally. An extreme example, is in the military. Men in the same unit who don't even like each other, frequently risk their own lives to support each other. The opposite is true for the for the enemy. Micromanaging is simply disrespectful and devaluing Negativity and negative energy is bringing the enemy inside the wall. We go to battle every day with the outside world that seems to be conspiring to make our lives difficult, and women should not make themselves look like that enemy who must be diligently guarded against.
I literally had to fight my Mrs for the 'right' to do anything around the house. I am a qualified Civil Engineer and have been a qualified landscape gardener for 20 years. When our son was young I fought her in order to make the place liveable. I no longer attempt any projects around her house (I have my own). Her house is degrading over time but any attempt to help is met with an attack. I am quite happy but would enjoy helping her.
Holy #$@! - How to manipulate men to get what you want 101. How about actually wanting to be the person that doesn't nag, doesn't micromanage, etc. instead of not doing those things to be manipulative. Come on Suzanne!
2.5 years ago if my marriage counsellor had had this information my marriage may still have been intact, thank god he didn't I've met someone better since. This information was very informative, thank you
As a man, it is always interesting to me to see the difference between the way men naturally work with each other and the way that women do. When men work together there is an automatic hierarchy and the notion of "team." The order is there, and usually the respect goes up and down both. Think of a huddle where the half-back and quarter back work together but in totally different tasks. Women are not like this as far as I can tell. They seem to communicate until some idea finally seems self-evident and compete for prominence as much as for dominance. In general, no man wants to compete with his own wife. She is on the team. But what does she want? What makes this stranger yet is that women will sometimes work in far greater harmony with other men than with their own husbands.
To the men who watch this , and are overjoyed to hear that the message is out there ... Yes , someone gets it ! This lady is absolutely right . But it just doesn’t matter . For those of you that have not been through the years of empty sorrow , the dead bedroom and constant blame and shame ... thinking your loneliness is the worst thing you could experience ... You may not want to hear it , but you missed a bullet . Your dreams and desires almost lured you into a disaster you had no concept could occur . To those of you in the last , waning days of your relationship... Going through the pain and fear , the overwhelming feeling of loss ... The ending of everything in your life . Beauty , love and light ... gone . Because your happiness was contingent on someone else’s whims . Hold on , ride it out . Get through this , just get through it . Life gets better . No matter how your life turns out from here on out , it will be your life , and you living it . To the survivors ( not victims ) that have made it to the other side . Welcome , brother . You have learned how to transition from being attached to detached . From belonging to someone else ... mind , heart , body and spirit ... to finding yourself . You made it . You learned the lesson . You know now . This world will give you everything you ask for ... and then turn it mean and cold , so that you can’t stand it . But you can steer your life through the challenges you must face . And each storm makes you stronger . Do not discount or ignore your own strengths and talents . In the end , nobody gets out of life alive , so lighten up and enjoy the journey . And when a woman sees you navigating through these dark and dangerous times ... composed and competent ... able and aware ... she will ask you : “ Can I come with you ?” Gentlemen ... the answer is “ NO .”
@@Ekam-Sat Ah yes ! We happy few . We Soldiers Of Misfortune… We Brothers Of The Sword … Those that have been tested by the flame , and passed both anvil and forge . Tempered like steel , not burned to ash . Quenched and hardened by reality . Our smiling visages may be rugged and worn … but still pleasant in their scarred homeliness . Our voices rough from shouting through many a gale . Our spirits indomitable , uncorrupted… unconquerable . We have seen the storm , and the empty void . Neither frightens us any longer . We have their measure . And of those softer terrors … found in a woman’s charms … while lying in her arms . Perfume and sweet words . They are but fleeting shadows , nothing more . Illusions seen dimly in a dream . Pretty pictures dressed in lace … Gone like smoke on the breeze . We thought to be Tom Sawyer , and win Becky’s admiration … When our fate was rafting down the river like Huck Finn … Spending days in glorious adventure… and nights beside the fire under the stars . And that great stream that flows from “here” to “there” ? It is life itself … time , and knowledge, and experience … So , then … welcome , brother … your journey is ahead , not behind you . Look forward with a smile . You are on time … and just where you are supposed to be .
This podcast is transforming my marriage. I am changing for the better, and I want to make my husband feel loved and appreciated. Im doing so much better and I can tell you, this works!
My husband and I have been married for 17 years. We both came from broken homes with no example to follow, both raised in feminism mindset and worldly ways of self love is first and foremost…. We loved each other but didn’t know what the heck it meant to be a man and a woman .. much less a Godly man and woman. Since 2019 he’s been in a group call The School of Man and we’ve both had our hearts and lives changed through Christ and learning to be Godly men and women thank the good Lord. Works in progress always but oh how things have changed for the better!❤
Years ago I would listen to some of the gossip my ex-wife brought home from her coffee mornings with neighbour women. They would be complaining about their husbands in various forms while all their husbands where at work. All where middle class stay at home moms living what would be considered very good lifestyles. I knew all the husbands and bar one all where solid guys who loved their wives and kids. They all sacrificed personal goals, pleasures etc and by my reckoning good men. About 80% of these good men are either divorced or living sexless, loveless existence. I consider myself one of the lucky ones being divorced. My ex fell for the hypergamy trap too. At least I got a second chance to choose a partner more wisely while also making it clear marriage will never be on the table. The relationship stands on its own two feet or it falls and each leaves with what they came with. Unsurprisingly the current relationship far outshines the previous marriage and part of the reason is all of what I bring to the table can be removed and therefore it's never dismissed or unappreciated. Also unsurprisingly all of these divorced men are now with younger better versions of their ex's and their ex's are either single or dating down. I feel sorry for women who can't manage their desire or hypergamy. The are doomed to a life of misery and making the men in their lives miserable.
Suzanne, doesn't it amaze you just how many men visit your blog? And doesn't it also amaze you that we all come out of our shells and state exactly what's wrong with our relationships with women.? Even discounting men who are disgruntled for no reason, there's an overwhelming chorus of men saying that women drain the life out of us and provide nothing positive in return.
Wow what brutal but necessary honesty! Slow clap for you Ms. Venker. BTW I'm 48 and since I earn well into the 6 figures and stay in shape I have the 35+ female crowd chasing me hard trying to lock me down... with a few 20-something ladies as well but... I'm moving to Mexico and will find a woman there who actually knows how to be a wife (if I ever do get married... I'm giving it 50/50 lol). What man with his eyes open would risk marriage in the West? My brother and so many of my friends did and it turned out awful for them. Our society teaches women to ruin relationships because of the cancer that is feminism. Equal rights my ass! That's a big fat lie. Bravo to Ms. Venker for pointing this out so clearly without pulling any punches. How tragic that these Western women don't even realize they've been sold a bill of goods, and then both the man and woman post-divorce are miserable. To be clear: it's not women that are the problem here. It's feminist indoctrination along with all the other negative messages in the media that have made Western women generally unmarriagable, with a few exceptions here and there. And to be fair Western masculinity has generally declined as well. Very sad but hey my life is good I'm heading to Monterrey whoooooooo!
All of these reasons can be boiled down to: women is angry that she settled for the guy rather than marrying her Chad ideal, so she decides to exploit the husband for everything he's worth to make up for her failings.
Alpha seed, beta need. Ideally, she has a baby with Chad but gets a beta to provide for it and raise it (Chads don't make for good, reliable, docile laborers). To be fair, if us men had our way, we would have a harem where we would pick a different girl every night.
I am a woman. Sexual trauma and abuse at the hands of men and women leaves me almost laughing at your 5 things. I guess I am in no way going to ever be able to be in my marriage of over 40 years, cuz I can't do any of these things. My husband suffered severe abandonment issues. We are trying to make it work at 59 and 61, I just can't see a happy ending.
Different generation not who think they're degrees give them a societal pedigree and make them better than those that do not. And have been skewed by the social media with attention and validation constantly and access to the greater public population of men through instant messaging on their social medias. Narcissistic characteristics are being displayed in larger numbers than even in our 30s than I've ever seen before. People will still find each other. But the numbers are decreasing.
Notice how many comments are from guys? Can we ALL be wrong? Thanks for hitting the nail on the head, and reminding guys that the price ain't worth it. Personally after decades of relationships and a marriage, I've seen the same patterns again and again. I thought it was me as I'm the common denominator, until I watched many, many MG.T0W vids where guys had exactly what I've been through. Personally I'm exhausted with it all; trying to find a woman with the positive attributes as described in this vid, is like looking for a diamond in a gravel quarry. Staying single means peace and freedom to do what I want and when.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 but many have no problem doing this to men. Describing men as emotionally shallow and inferior isn't exactly high praise for the men. Someone who really doesn't believe in being viciously maligned don't turn around and do what they despise to others. Those who engage in this behavior are saying with their actions that it is okay to do it.
@@buffuniballer Interestingly your last paragraph I can provided you with several examples of such behavior from men towards women, promoted by male centric relationship guru's. These gurus provide suggestions and men just celebrate them
"need"? you can work TOGETHER on helping each other but in the beginning and end each persons happiness is up to THEMSELVES to provide via decision outlook and gratitude
What's also a problem is if he finishes doing whatever it is you asked him to do and he asks you for something he gets push back or you feel you shouldn't have to, why would he be willing to do anything for you just because you said so but not get the same in return Female: baby can you do this, This and this Male: ok no problem Male: babe can you do this Female: No You think he is going to say no problem so easily the next time you ask him something
I can’t express how right this video is. Especially the point on assuming the worst. Sometimes you are married to a bad person that does not have your goodwill at heart in those cases there is not much that can be done, but when you are married to a good man or in a relationship with a good man all of these points that Suzanne is talking about,are exactly correct. I was unfortunate enough to marry, a not good person. Lol. Now that I’m in a relationship with a good man all of this works…naturally …. Might I add. I know he cares about me and has my best in mind. Therefore, when he forgets some thing I look at it like he’s human we all forget things. It wasn’t an intentional attack on me or laziness. I could go on and on… I do hope women take this advice to heart. Our culture is sabotaging relationships with its philosophies. Listen to this and learn!!!!
This is giving "its all the woman's fault and the man did nothing to cause her to change". I'm not overlooking mediocre behavior, or behavior that is sabotaging us. I think men get married and expect the woman to just be happy and stop being herself and he stops doing all the dating he did to get her.
I really need this! Thank you so much for making these videos! I need to be a better wife. I think I've been a good one, but there's always room for improvement. Especially only 1 year in
This is great information for any woman who is in a relationship with a healthy man. Many women are in toxic relationships bc the man is unhealthy. In my case I was lied to and manipulated bc my standards were too high for him to reach. In cases like that these 5 reasons you mentioned are only normal ways to respond. Women reciprocate.
The 5 reasons you listed pretty much summarise what I dubbed as "mom syndrome" as a teenager. Everything seemed like the end of the world, only bad things ever happened, anything worth a laugh or celebration was overshadowed by some world disaster or tragedy.
Very helpful to hear this, im a wife and stay at home mom of 3. Have had issues in my relationship with my husband since the beginning 12 years ago. I didnt have any good examples of a relationship growing up, father wasnt in the picture and had experienced men coming and going in my life as a kid. Now that im older and married ive done alot of self work and realize that i have had my guard up and thus dont easily trust men. Iam working on myself, but it has been hard to overlook the things in my marriage that cause me unhappiness. All while trying to meet the needs of someone else. Its a very hard thing to do, to not feel loved, but to then show love and respect. Its a vulnerable place to be, and one that can really hurt. Especially if the guy sees that he can get exactly what he wants without doing much in return for u. So i find it very interesting to hear that us women should be the ones that have the power to be that vulnerable bc we have more of an effect over men then men do over us. I found how you put that really interesting, and actually makes alot of sense. 😅
If I give something to someone that doesn't give me nothing, I'm a freaking moron. That's why they don't get "what they need" from us, they don't bring anything.
Another reason why a woman doesn't get what she needs from a man is because he's a narcissist and actually letting your guard down around someone like that can be very dangerous. Those people really need help and if you keep thinking, it's because of your behaviour that he treats you like that it just wears you out to the point that you become nothing and lose yourself entirely.
I am a man. You are absolutely correct in all that you have said within this podcast. The only reason why I am single is because women have changed and lost the ability to understand a man. My hat is off to you.
It's naturally hard for a woman to give up control to a man who she feels more capable than, though. This is because women aren't stupid. If decisions are really suffering by not having her input, she's never going to feel that relaxation that comes with giving up control to a guy capable enough to run things well without her. So IMO it's still very key for a woman to choose wisely in the first place. She can make a strong man weak, but she can't really make a weak man strong enough.
Spot on, Wyatt! It's all about choosing wisely in the first place...something so many of us don't do, myself included. Young and foolish marriages cause so much damage.
Albert Einstein is rumored to have said "Women marry men with the hope they will change. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Invariably they are both disappointed."
This was excellent! Joel's wife is displaying some classic narrcissistic behavior. If she truly has a narcissistic personality, he has to approach his relationship completely different. Hopefully she is not and is willing to listen to Suzanne's advice. Suzanne is an expert and knows exactly what she is doing! I am a long time married man (46 years) and everything she just talked about is resonating 100%. Oh, BTW, if you don't think women can be narcissistic, yes they can.
If anyone thinks that women can't be narcissistic a. I was married to one, and b. Women are naturally narcissistic. Before anyone loses it over that statement remember the narcissistic TENDENCIES are so far, far away from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The tendencies are there for a reason and and there are degrees of it, it's a mating/survival instinct, men have ego's and just like women there are degrees of it. Personality Disorders are NOT supposed to there and the person uses it as a substitute for something.
@@andrejensen7837 I agree with you on there are more covert female narcissists than male ones but I think your estimate is a little bit on the optimistic side. I would say there are probably more than 35% but it's a very hard disorder to diagnose as people have to WANT to be helped and a narcissist thinks they're perfect and there's nothing wrong with them, it's everybody else who has something wrong with them. Also the present political climate doesn't help either because the man is automatically assumed to be in the wrong in most cases and the "woman" is protected from anything that might cast doubt on that.
1) Modern women are disagreeable. 2) Modern women are disagreeable. 3) Modern women are disagreeable. 4) Modern women are disagreeable. 5) Modern women are disagreeable.
How many parents raise their sons to be good men and good husbands? Most I would wager. Now, how many parents raise their daughters to be good women and potential wives? Nah, go to college, waste your most fertile years and have multiple casual encounters and have so much emotional baggage you will drive any good man away. There is ultimately only ONE reason for a man to get married traditionally, thats to have children. Men dont have to do that anymore. And lets be honest, most men dont want to with the way many women are.
Suzanne, this seems like a what came first, the chicken or the egg? It could easily be presented as ‘It starts and ends with the man; men hold the key to relationship’. ‘A manly, masculine man (redundant, I know) brings out the feminine in a woman naturally.’ ‘Men are initiators & women are responders.’ As a man, all I can do is change myself and how I show up. From my perspective, I’ll probably get better responses by having high standards for myself and those around me, being proactive, knowing what I want, asking for it directly, and not tolerating bad behavior. When talking to a man or woman, it seems the most important idea is that they have the power to make changes in themselves, and that alone can change the relationship dynamics.
Pretty much spot on for some of the base causes of failed relationships. Too bad this isn’t required listening for every woman out there who actually desires a successful relationship with her man.
#3 Is a biggie. If you are going to complain about how I did something, it's just easier for me not to do it at all. If I'm going to get the same result either way, then I'm not going to waste any effort on doing the task, and I don't get my feelings hurt either. It's better to just turn the cell phone off and go fishing. Suzanne, I've only watched a few of your videos so far, but they all seem to be spot on. You should write a book, or five! LOL! I'm struck by how many men seem to be chiming in on the comments (90%?) of a video directed towards women. To the ladies that have watched the video, I don't see any men making comments claiming to be without fault, but many of the comments contain many of the same complaints from men. I'm sure someone could easily make a video on 999 things husbands do that drive their wives crazy. But I feel this video is very accurate, and judging from the other comments, I'd say that many other men do as well. If you want to strengthen your relationship with your man, watch the video every few months, and also listen to the frustration manifested in the comments.
#6 - Neglecting to remember how crucially important sex is to a man (which this woman's list also does BTW). It's one of the top things that can influence the way a man feels about a woman, both good and bad. Lack of intimacy is one of the more common problems that couples visit marriage counselors for. If she's being insensitive and unsupportive, accusing him of being "greedy" or treating her like a prostitute, and generally making him feel like a pig for the way nature made him, all while he's doing precisely what's expected and coming to HER for intimacy instead of another woman, then why would he be motivated to take good care of her needs in life? Why should he even stay in such a situation?
Let me shorten this.... When you come at a your guy like an attack dog you trigger his warrior defend mode and you get aggression. This doesn't solve whatever problem you have because now the fight is about the fight instead of the problem.
i remember a male counsellor who more or less said that men should not feel the need to protect and care for others. i'm not suggesting that all counsellors are bad, but perhaps there are aspects of modern culture which militate against marriage and happy families
Many married men have a married life where nothing they do will ever ever ever ever ever be good enough. After a while, he stops trying. Women fear to tell a man what they desire, because they fear that he will say no to their true desires. This fear has many women tied up in emotional knots as they demand that a man satisfy their desires while refusing to tell him what they are.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 so you are engaged in #5 here. You assume he's said no to their desires, so it's his fault when she breaks her vows and leaves the marriage. Thanks for proving the point. People own their behavior. Well, at least adults do. If she chooses to leave, it's because she made that choice. No one MADE her do it. She made the choice to do so. No blame shifting her. If she chooses to leave, then she owns the choice. If it's the right choice, it doesn't become more right by shifting the blame to others.
That’s my favorite “ I need your help with xyz”. Took me years to get this out of my wife. But I finally did. She will leave me alone now. And I stoped the phrase “ I need help with “. Nope - the phrase is “ I’d like for you to do xyz for me “. Help with implies both of us doing it. If I’m doing it by myself. It’s not we. Its me. I don’t claim that “ we” breast fed the kid. Or “ we gave birth “ or “ we picked out the drapes “. If I did there’d be a war. Right ? Come on. Just be you. Let me be me. It’s the that easy.
The comments on this video are amazing. So many men having very similar experiences. I can certainly relate. And women have the nerve to feign ignorance and ask "Why?" At this point, why would a man even date unless a woman really sells it?
This is an exact description of my wife and how she acts every day, 20 years of marriage and the only thing I look forward to anymore is when she goes to sleep and I can be alone. I have two daughters who I fear will grow up to be just like her, how can they learn to be good women and wife's from someone who isn't either of those things. I expect to be divorced after the girls grow up and leave the nest, maybe then I can have some piece. If any guy's are out there wondering if marriage is for you all I can say is you've got less than a 50% chance, not sure it's worth the gamble.
Smh leave now . it bothers me when us men will go threw hell for the sake of the child . now the child leaves on their own and the man is stuck with mental problems
5 needs men do not get from their wives 1no honesty 2 no intimacy 3 no companionship no backup when needed 5 no real love no sex I could go further but I don't want to join their club
