20 Harsh lessons I learned at 38 but wish I knew at 20 

After 3 years of marriage I've come to the conclusion that comparing your relationship with others is a waste of time. Everyone is different and as you said, everyone creates their own boundaries. My partner and I create a unique union that will never be the same as other couples in social media or even real life. Thanks for sharing this! I love your videos!

The "no one is coming to save you" hit me hard. I'm 26 and in my culture I should've been married but I'm not. A man is expected to take care of the woman which I am not against but when you also tie in the the factor that marriage is lifelong and not just a wedding night , you realize being with a partner that you actually see eye to eye with is hard. I am now going to be going back to school for my masters in counseling and aiming for a career to take care of myself.

Wonderful video. We are about the same age (I am 37) and I agree with all of these. Another one I want to add is: You are responsible for your own happiness. You cannot expect your partner, friends, family or children to make you happy.

No one is coming to save you but many people will help. No one is going to do the job for you, but there will be people who will support you on your journey.

"No one thinks about you as much as you think about yourself"

1) No one is coming to save you: life is consistency 2) A good relationship takes sacrifices 3) Building wealth is about owning assets: real estate, equity 4) Pros and cons don't work, what will you regret not doing? 5) Health is the main priority, not aesthetic 6) Black swans happen 7) Don't be afraid to change 8) Be able to lose your old self 9) Lifetime learning 10) Don't blame others, learn to work around, how did your actions contribute to this? 11) Grass always looks greener 12) Try and fail 13) Be the partner that you want to have 14) No one thinks about you as much as you 15) All your actions compound over time 16) Internet keeps lifetime archive 17) Fuel your body accordingly (food choices) 18) Shed people 19) Wedding is for a day, marriage is for life 20) Control your reaction to outcomes and events

I figured this out at 33 Changed countries and jobs at 33. From 37 to 47 made my first million. For 99%,your family or friends or job is not going to save you. Time to try something new.

I am in my mid 40's and I think all of these lessons are absolutely spot-on. Well said.

38 😦 i dunno about u guys but she looks 27

Hey boss. Thanks for another biscuit of wisdom. I think a lot of us folks feel just a tad bit more courageous, and maybe even invincible with your insight in our pocket. Happy weekend. Already looking forward to the next video :D

That no one is coming to save you!! Hit different this morning 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾

Im turning 35 this year but still on the way on how to deal with things in life, its difficult but will go through it.

wish all u want. but each one has his/her own journey. and the best way to start living is not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today.

You're not wrong hun have definitely felt the heartless aspect of poor or rich peoples cruelty of greed and fakeness

As a 25 year old watching this I feel kind of underestimated by being told this is the novel advice I need for my 20s…

Great content Poppy.. as always 😍

I just love all the points you had mentioned! worth watching this & thanks a ton for posting this !

Don’t stress so much, things have a way of working themselves out.

There's a reason why you learned those lessons at 38 and not 20. You did not learn those things at 20 because you weren't ready to learn them at 20. You did not at that time possess knowledge, experience, nor did you put in the process and change your vibrational frequency at that age to know the things you know now. You know and have learned them now (at 38) because you are ready to learn them now. Not 10 years from now and certainly not 20 years ago. This type of mindset can often leave a person in resentment over what hasn't been learned or experienced in the past. Life doesn't work this way. So, be at peace knowing that you are experiencing and learning exactly what you are supposed to and this is based on the daily process that you engage in, which shifts your vibration in the direction that you wish to go. Good luck.

When I was four, I learn that Life is Cruel...that was the year I watch my family buried my mother.

You are really wise!

Me too realized that you see bad side of others when u stop giving. From family, friends to maid 😅. Nothing is free in this world

Very wise and on point!

Family. Nothing more important.

I mean project.Pat told everybody to don't save her.What did you ladies expect😂

This is a good listen

It’s too late when you have that realization ::

Brilliant! ❤

1) No one is coming to save you. Unfortunately, you have to forgive your wife when she does not want to save you. 2) A good relationship takes sacrifices. It is one way street sometimes. My wife does the cooking and laundry when I do the cleaning. We both share responsibilities in educating our kids. 3) Building wealth is about owning assets. We are fortunate to pay off 2 homes before my retirement. I do work part-time as an engineering tutor. 4) Pros and cons don't work. Well... You have no choice when you are stuck. 5) Health is the main priority, not aesthetic. I do my sit ups and pushups. I do mop our floors which help me burn some calories. 6) Black swans happen. This is true... My parents have gotten very ill where I need to take care of them while I am a full-time father. It just makes no sense to work as long as I have to take care of my aging parents. 7) Don't be afraid to change. Marriage and being a father can do this. 8) Be able to lose your old self. I worked at the Samsung company as an engineer for 7.5 years. I just have to let it go when I was never happy working there. If your employer fired you illegally, you really need to move on and respect their decisions after they gave you a generous severance package. 9) Lifetime learning. I do try to learn online. 10) Don't blame others. Truth about the human race is that people are always jealous of your success. It is not easy to have friends who are happy for you when you succeed. Also, people do not want to associate people with little income. Alcohol drinking is almost mandatory to have friends. If you don't drink any alcohol, it is difficult to connect even though the people around you go to church. A lot of Christians do require alcohol to build friendships. If so, you need to move on by not associating with them. 11) Not all relationships are the same. My wife is 10 years younger than myself. I don't think many couples can emphasize our struggles. I believe my wife married me because I graduated from UC Berkeley and because I am a Christian. We are fortunate to pay off 2 homes before my retirement. 12) Try and fail. I would try and fail before you get married. I don't think my wife will be happy if I was a graduate student in college. 13) Be the partner that you want to have. I always wanted to marry a Christian wife. Now, I am married to a Christian wife. It is what I wanted. 14) No one thinks about you as much as you. Unfortunately, if you go to church, people do get jealous of you. When people know how God blesses you, it is better to stay home. If you don't have money, nobody wants to be your friend as well. 15) All your actions compound over time. You have to stop smoking and stop drinking alcohol when you suffer from health problems from them. 16) Internet keeps lifetime archive. I agree. I should be careful. 17) Fuel your body accordingly. I need to thank my wife for caring what I eat. 18) Shed people. I do cut out some of my peers who are not really my friends because of time constraints. 19) Wedding is for a day, marriage is for life. I need to be thankful that my wife understands this. We spent only $10k on our wedding including the ring and honeymoon. That's how we paid off our 2nd home. 20) Control your reaction to outcomes and events. So true... You need to have proper sleep not to overreact to other outcomes and events.

Health is very important, but your soul/eternal salvation is the MOST important thing in your life, life on earth is what 70-80 years, eternal life is well...forever. Great points though, very nice.

Finding a good man when it is easy before debt for maximum life choice

If youth knew. If age could.

women not taking accountability is their biggest issue. If you don't you cannot only not learn but cannot change your self destructive ways.

Lone wolf life lol

JESUS LOVES YOU HE CARES ABOUT YOU READ THE BIBLE❤❤❤

Mel Robbins says that

Mam i am your new subscriber😮😮

Same here

I wish I could make a video like this but my English is too poor.

New subscriber. Enjoy your videos.

I wish I knew in my 20s that "done is better than perfect".

Lesson I learned over the years "stop looking for yourself in others"

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. -i felt that.

Effort doesnt always equal success

The opportunities will arise when it is time. -work hard, but don’t beat yourself up to achieve your goals. You’ll own that house or that car as long as you continue to make conscious decisions. You don’t have to have those things all at once. Trust yourself is the key to peace. -do not rely on what you have, income, status, job title, etc. to define who you are. Trust that whatever comes your way, you will figure it out.

Hello dear, I just would like to thank you for sharing these content with us. At 33, whenever I listen to motivational talks don’t inspire or motivate me anymore, unlike when I was in my 20’s where I get inspired and start going for my dreams. However now in my 30’s, nothing excites me anymore. I learned that learning new things, and other people’s stories inspire me more to create my own, and to rediscover myself and what I love to do. Knowing more about myself, and the purpose of my life keeps me going more than aspiring to become rich and successful. I don’t know.. but I just became lowkey and relaxed nowadays, simple things make me happy. Oh and I don’t have a partner yet, but somehow I’m still at peace and happy I have so much time to do all the things I wanna do and just focus on becoming a better version of me. I realized that before someone commits to me, I must commit to myself first. Your videos help me realize these things. Thank you for doing what you do. ❤

It's a humble admission of yours that in the past, you expected romantic overtures from your partner while not stepping up equally to do the same. It's something we, as women, are conditioned to expect -- to always be the recipients of these lovely gestures. And the occasional unexpected gift IS lovely! But it's absolutely poor taste to keep upholding a higher standard for your partner than you yourself can satisfy. I try to be very aware of this in my personal life, and it's good to see you share this so others can be aware too.

Wonderful insights! But why did you call them harsh truths? May I suggest #21? Remember to integrate your wins and give yourself grace. Integrating your wins improves confidence and empowers you to reach for more. Giving yourself grace is so important when things don't go as expected. I wish I'd had the insights in my 30s that you have now (and really lived by them). You're exactly where you need to be in your life right now, and on your way to the next best version of yourself. Enjoy the ride. Based on what I've seen in your content, you're doing great! 🎉 P.S. Thanks for the SkillShare suggestion! 🙏🏼😊

Fake it til you make it… don’t ever show your cards. 🃏 Instagram is a prime example. Everyone looks happy, taking trip pics and looking rich.

This was the kick in the butt I needed today. Thank you! And I have come to the same conclusions just turning 40 💪🏻

Sorry madam, there is a typo, think you meant 28

Best thing I learned is that not everything is possible but so so much is possible. Stay Uncommon!

Oh Wow! 😳 I love ❤this message 🙏. I am glad that am your age mate and ready to listen 👂🏿 to this powerful podcast 💪. Thank you God 🙏 and for sharing this powerful message 🙏 today.

Me being a soon 26 year old adult,feeling behind my peers and wasted my entire youth with no talent and overwhelmed to restart my life😢 kindly do comment, if you have something to tell me ❤

38 but still looking very youthful

One should marry a filthy rich person. Sad, but true. Brutal truth. It's kinda conniving, immoral......call it as you see fit. But if you're by yourself or (even worse) married to a _regular_ person - life is gonna be *hell* .

The compounding effect can’t be underestimated. Im turning 40 this year and it’s quite apparent the compounding effects of people’s life choices my age and the positions it lands them in life.

It's funny how all of these lessons can sometimes seem so obvious. Maybe because of social media and the internet, it feels like we've heard them all in one form or another. But sometimes we're not ready to fully receive any particular piece of advice and it just bounces off of us at the moment. What makes videos like this helpful is that they serve as a reminder. Maybe someone found this video at just the right time or one the lessons popped out at them at a particularly relevant point in life. By the way, I just made a video very similar to this, so I'd love to hear if any of those life lessons have impacted your life as well. Great vid Poppy.

With age comes wisdom.😂

The economy benefits those who have managed to invest in various opportunities. However, many people view investing as something too daunting, often feeling hesitant to get involved out of fear. Despite the abundance of opportunities today-whether in commodities, stocks, cryptocurrencies, and more-some still see it as a challenge and shy away from it.

I wish, as a man, that in my 20s I had realised that what women say they want and what they really want are often two completely different thing … and more importantly … Go where you’re wanted, not necessarily where members of the opposite gender are. The difference is subtle but total. And … A one % advantage is often a 100 % of the difference or outcome.

Both my family and God have saved me multiple times over.

Guys learn this lesson around age 13 .

ACCOUNTABILITY IS A WOMANS KRYPTONITE 😵

Poppy - very happy to see your new 'life reflections' videos are getting you the following that you deserve.

I wish I knew that it takes more than love to sustain a healthy relationship. You have to truly do the work for yourself.

Boring generic advice

I agree, definitely better to try and fail than not at all. Love this video Poppy. Hope you’re settling in well 😘

Why would anyone need to be saved?

21. inhale pets...

38???? Girl Id have never guessed, you look 25!

Thanks for sharing these honest truth❤. Recently a lot of things has been happening in my life and i really need some encouragement in an honest way rather than saying honey coated words.

All you young people, save your first 100 k . Trust me in this one. Start at 20 years old.

21. PPL who are nice to you can be more harmful, then ppl who are rude not, because their intensions are clear.

I invite you come to my place ..come silient inside ..don’t look around… just helping me

I thought you‘d be like 28 years old😳

> 4) Pros and cons don't work, what will you regret not doing? This is one I need to learn lmao. I try to be all mathematical about everything. Then lose out on experiences.

I have known all of these when i was in my 20s. Anyway You re 38 but looks 28. Sooo Beautiful.

Why do we always need to reinforce this point 😂it’s very peculiar…

Everything is me me me and I I I. It's all baggage. Who wants baggage? If your want to be saved, save others

With most people in there is that hope of someone or something making our lives meaningful and contented. It doesn't mean that it will fix your life. God created us. He is the One that will give us life with meaning and contentment. "For God so loved the world (His creation, you) that He gave His only Son Jesus, to live, die, and rise to life again for the payment of death forour sin" "Who ever believes this will have life eternal and peace and contentment both now and forever"

Thought the government will save you. That's what politicians say. Free this, free that....

Dearest young lady...you are not at all correct...someone has come to save you...someone has come to save everyone, who wants to be saved...and that is me. I am the universe...and...I will save you...if, you want it. I love you...Stanley ❤

Thanks for making us be real. Love it Poppy. Its kiff.

Omg what a babe!

Nothing groundbreaking,deep or profound in that statement. I never asked anyone to come save me. The talking point is stale

Wait, where did the pink ponies and purple unicorns go that everyone is chasing? R u saying life takes actual hard work and sacrifice and life coach is not an actual job???

If you want a person to fight through life with, then you will need to find a like minded person who is willing to sacrifice with you. Yeah, you must think more than yourself if you are going to have kids. You cannot take your money with you but you can leave children to live after you die.

Your parents could have been teaching you this. Instead of creating only a safe bubble.

What you haven't mentioned is that I've always wanted to find an Asian woman to be my life partner and based on your example I'll start looking among Thai girls now. Thank you for that hint. And good luck at your new place!

What's your thoughts on 50/50 in relationships?

I’m in my twenties trying to embrace everything I have in the moment. Making the best out of my twenties is so important. Your video gives me that motivation❤

You look 20 for me

It's getting late early.😂

Thankss! You gave me some very important fundamental aspects and advice for life. I recently realized I need a big change and in order to change I need to let go of things. Thanks to your insights I regained motivation in order to do so and become the main character in my own life again!! 😊

I'm 60 years old I new what you're telling us a long time ago God is not going to save you you need to save yourself.

I'm sorry, you said you were 28?

Why does everybody seem to want support? Help and rely on yourself.

8:54 not many girls can do chin up. Great job.

If you knew these when you were 20 then you wouldn’t have learned these lessons.