Allison Anderson I've learned stop spending my life trying to please other people, and focus on being happy within myself. And not to overbuy shoes and coats - I work from home, they barely get used, they clutter my house and they make me poorer! Oh, and I'm 45 and still learning about life 😘
that one embarrassing thing you did when you were 17 and have held on to? No one else is even thinking about it and You parents were crazy; it doesn't mean you are
1. It is better to regret the things you've done than the things you didn't do 2. Stop fearing failure 3. It's ok to not know what you want to do for the rest of your life 4. It's never too late to change or reinvent yourself 5. Someday is not a day 6. Don't wait to travel 7. Focus on experiences, not things 8. You will have to work harder to make friends and maintain friendships as an adult 9. Another person's beauty does not detract from yours 10. There is space for you in this world exactly as you are 11. You will not stick to habits and routines that make you miserable 12. Trust your gut 13. Begin investing and saving with compound interest as soon as you can 14. Your tastes will change 15. Rent the cheaper apartment 16. Let go or be dragged 17. Adults don't necessarily have it all figured out 18. Everyone is on their own timeline, and no timeline is "the right one" 19. It's ok to not be on a traditional path 20. The time will fly and 30 isn't as old as you think it is
I've learned you shouldn't waste energy on people who don't understand the path you're on, who you really are or don't add value to your life. I spent so many years trying to maintain friendships with people who just brought me down, all because I thought I owed them the loyalty. But it's ok to not be friends with people you were friends with in high school or university. People drift in and out of your lives, they're not always meant to stay.
I so understand you there. You should know when a friendship has run its course on whether you kind of dred having to hang out with them or are excited. The obligation to stay friends because you grew up together or what have you is a hard mindset to break out of. I've recently ended a friendship with one of my best friends growing up, and honestly I wish her the best, but it feels good to finally let that go because we weren't serving each other like good friendships should. 😁
This is what I needed. I'm 32 and have a twin brother who has achieved so much more than me so it makes me feel like a failure. He's married with a baby and his own house, three college degrees, and a job as a professor, while I have none of that. I have only had part-time jobs, working on getting a certificate in college (I have no degree), have never been in a relationship, and don't want to get married. I know everyone has their own path and goes in their own pace but it's hard to see those around you of the same age moving ahead in life while I'm not.
Biggest lesson I learned in my 20’s DO NOT SETTLE ON WHO YOU ARE DATING! I wish I told myself this earlier I was in a relationship with a guy who was not right for me for 6 years of my life. I was so relived when we broke up now I’m married to the love of my life and he is so understanding and caring and now I know that I made the right choice!
Yes!!!! I feel you on this one! I always got so attached and didn’t like change but that meant two 3 year relationships that went on farrrrr too long!!
So true!! I always thought my boyfriend was having a hard time and that he would get better eventually. It took me four years and a traumatic separation (he cheated on me with a friend that he's with now) to realize that he's a narcissist. I've tried so hard to make his life easier, to save him from everything he was going through, but nothing was ever good enough. I really hope that I'll find a person with a good heart that loves me the way I am.
This!! I am currently in my early 20s and ever since I was 17 I felt pressured that I should have a bf, lose my virginity, move in with someone, get married etc just because everyone else around my age are doing so but sometimes I have to remind myself of how grateful I am not to be stuck with someone (and I try to avoid people talking a lot about their partners to make me feel less anxious about being single) I just mainly want to focus on building my career in tech and travel more because I love the freedom of going somewhere new and meeting new people who have different culture from my own
@@postedback i somewhat agree but sometimes its hard when you feel so insecure about yourself, I remember dating someone once just because they asked me out irl and I wasn't used to being asked out.
“Everyone is on their own timeline, no timeline is the ‘right one’ “ this one might just halve my stress level. It’s my 21st birthday today and I spend so much time just criticising myself for not doing as much my peers but it hasn’t really ever hit me that maybe we just all want different things from lives.
As someone who is 38, I have to say that the dirty thirties rock! You stop caring what everyone else thinks so much and embrace YOU. It's awesome. Good luck everyone!
that is an honest mood, though my problem is that everytime I plan to travel my friends want to tag along and then it kinda feels like I am babysitting them
@@HazelGrey. sorry didn’t see this till now! She had me at 31 and my brother at 34 so she always said she loved having young kids and having everything be magical for us when we were little so I’m sure that was a big part of it!
These may sound a little dumb/weird but came to me when I needed them: 1. Save money and money will save you. 2. It’s the sperm that chases the egg, not the other way around. 3. Life is too short for ugly underwear.
Allison - I've been watching you since your beginning and I'm turning 30 in about 2 weeks, so we're about the same age. :) I was wondering if you would have touched upon a certain topic, yet I didn't hear it, so I wanted to share it. For the ladies - PLEASE do not make your entire life about chasing a man or needing to find with or be with a man. I have had so many female friends lose themselves over a guy and cut their friends out and it's just a toxic way of life, IMO. On that note, just because you get into a relationship or get married, please do not toss your girlfriends because if that relationship comes crashing down or gets rough, you won't have anyone to turn to. I'm obviously not saying don't have relationships, and I went through 3 break-ups in my 20s, buuuuut you do not NEED a man to take care of you or to support you. I run into so many women that just can't be single for any amount of time and were constantly looking for or chasing a guy and couldn't go without that constant chase... They would break-up and within a week or month, be onto the next one. You're allowed to be single, work on yourself, and just let things happen naturally. You also do not need to feel scared once you hit your late 20s and are not married or aren't in a committed relationship that could turn into marriage. I know women in their late 30s and even 40s that are single and never married, yet they have a ton to offer. Your self-worth, who you are, and what you're capable of is not defined by a partner or another person. Have your own sense of identity, separate from your partner... Your own hobbies, goals, dreams, ambitions, friends, all of that.
Agreeeed. It's a really hard thing also in your 20s and psh for every decade following to not feel like you aren't checking all the boxes of adulthood. School. Job. Marriage. House. Babies. Promotions. Retirement. It's exhausting. As someone who literally spent most of her 20s single (I was 28 when I got into the serious relationship that I am in now) it honestly feels great to look back now and be glad that I didn't settle for dating someone that I knew wasn't going to go anywhere, and I learned to be responsible for myself. What are my hobbies? What do I enjoy doing? If that's your thing then go for it, but friendships can last much longer and be much more of a positive influence on your life than romantic partners sometimes. 😁
I wish the language in your message would have been more general to broaden its application since it's such a great one! I'm not even saying this to be politically correct. This is a great message for everyone. PEOPLE don't need to spend their time chasing partners or realtionships of any kind (i.e. friendships of little value). Put the energy into yourself and be open to things happening organically how and when they're meant to. Don't ignore your gut, red flags, etc. 🙂
Thank you, I really needed that. My boyfriend broke up with me in December after having cheated on me with a mutual friend. I started seeing a friend of mine soon after that probably because I couldn't deal with being alone. I really regret this decision because a month ago he told me that he's in a commited relationship now. We ruined our friendship by crossing a line that should not have been crossed. I'm really trying to be happy by myself again and not to look for a person to complete me. I know I'm prone to losing myself in a relationship to the point that I'd probably settle again, even if it was a toxic relationship. I need to get my priorites straight!
Another thing I want to share - DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEND MONEY ON EXPERIENCES/EXCURSIONS. Obviously, don't go to the point where you're starving or out on the street, but your money will return, your time won't. It could all be over tomorrow and we can't take our money with us. Take that trip, go on that hike, book that flying lesson, that cooking class, that painting class, learn a new language or a new skill. You never know who you'll meet or what opportunities you'll run into and where that can take you. Life is about EXPERIENCES and taking chances!
Summary of the video: 1. It’s okay to not know what you want to do for the rest of your life 2. It’s never too late to change or reinvent yourself 3. “Someday” is not a day - if you want something you need to plan it 4. Focus on experiences not things 5. You will have to work harder to make friends and maintain friendships as an adult 6. Another person’s beauty does not detract from yours 7. There is space for you in this world exactly as you are 8. Don’t stick to routines and habits that make you miserable 9. Trust your gut 10. Start investing and saving asap 11. Your tastes will change 12. Rent the cheaper apartment 13. Let go or be dragged - let go of grudges, accept when it’s time to let go 14. Adults don’t always have it all figured out 15. Everyone is on their own timeline 16. It’s okay to not be on a ‘traditional’ path 17. 30 isn’t as old as you think it is
I’m only 22 and have learned SO much not only from this video, but other videos you’ve posted, like the things i shouldn’t waste my money on in my 20s 😂 you are the speaking the truth we all need to hear!!
I am turning 29 and honestly the closer I get to 30, the more content I feel. I feel like I really grew into the person I truly am. In my early 20's I was a completely different person.
I'm 26 and I'm starting to feel this way. Some people around me (coworkers, friends, family even) are often jarred by the new me (I used to be rather judgemental and sarcastic---bad coping mechanisms--and now I'm more intentional and vulnerable), and that worries me a little bit. But I do need to grow, I truly hope that they understand the new me. Your story gives me hope!
Thank you Allison for this video! I turned 26 last month. I think for me the biggest takeaway from my early 20s is that I need to prioritize my mental health. I always invalidate my own feelings whether it's about a relationship, a friendship, work, studies or finances, and just continue to be in an endless cycle of depression. When I turned 26 I decided I will place more focus on therapy, journaling and meditation to heal myself. I feel like this would ultimately make me feel better physically as well.
I’m in my last year of my 20s and the best advice I have is to spend the decade figuring out who you are and what you love. I remember being such an insecure mess when I was younger. Trying to emulate people I admired. But after I started focusing on listening to my own wants and needs, I found my own voice and my confidence improved drastically. Confidence at work, in who I am, in my decisions, in who I love, etc. it’s still a work in progress, but that’s where I focus my energy and it has really helped me become the woman I am today! Love your channel and loved growing up with you through the decade!
We are about the same age and I still took something from this and wish I had heard these things when I was younger! Love how articulate you are (seriously, make a podcast girl!)
One thing I learned in my 20s is that having kids is super hard! Don't hurry into that one, people, especially if you don't have close family or friends to help you regularly. It took me years for it to be more beautiful than it is hard. And if you can, go to therapy *before* having kids. It's a life saver.
that's really reassuring! I felt like I had to have a child before I turned 30 and I have lots of friends around my age (23) who have babies. I question how they are able to do this. actually I might tell my friend that advice, she's currently pregnant and she was worrying a month ago about what if her baby grows up to be a sex worker
I was in a very complicated and frustrating situation in life. I'm looking for a job and I'm not even sure it suits me. I graduated from college twice and now live in a different country but I found your great videos on youtube and it gives me hope.
I always say I’m more excited to turn 30 because you have more clarity what you want in life than in your 20s. At the same time, I’m 26, I’m working to earn my bachelors degree, working in progress to overcome driving anxiety, and still living with my parents (I live in San Francisco 😑), and thinking that 30 is four years away is a little daunting. This video was relatable and yet gave me a new perspective!
As a 60+ retiree just delving into traveling alone, don't wait to travel can be applied to any part of your life. My friends can't understand why I would want to travel alone. But they have obligations that keep them from traveling very often. So at any age, just go for it. I really enjoy your travel information videos.
The years between 30 and 40 go even faster! And as you might expect, 40 is also not as old as you think. Lol. I have friends my age who have kids who are 20, some in elementary school and then there’s me over here with a 5 and 2 year old (I’m 43). There is no “normal”’ timeline for adults. I wish I hadn’t struggled with that so much and that I had just lived my life with an open mind and spirit without paying so much attention to those around me.
I agree with everything you mentioned in this video! I am currently 24 and have been learning about all of these things the hard way haha. I love the "let go or be dragged" and trusting your gut. There have been countless moments when my gut was telling me something, I refused to trust it, and ultimately paid the price. Love your videos! I always learn so much from you!! XOXO
Great video! 38 y/o here and I agree with everything you listed. The whole “adults don’t know what they’re doing” is so true. I was in my late 20s when I read this article listing advice those in their 30s would give to those in their 20s. The piece that always stuck with me is “No one knows what they’re doing.” Several months later the same publication put out advice 40 year olds wanted those in their 30s to know. What was on the list? “No one knows what they’re doing.” Kind of like your moment with the “let go” quote, this changed my whole outlook. No one ever has it all together, and we are all figuring out life as it comes along.
I ended up taking my gf who I met in college to her college prom and we eventually got married in our late twenties, graduated college after having no understanding of what college was nor having any desire to attend college, enjoyed a cool career in my field of study(EET) and had some great experiences along with some bad(heart broken, father passed away, etc). All this led me to me simple saying enjoy the journey! Keep GOD first and Family second!
I recently discovered your channel, as I'm planning my first big solo trip to Alaska next month! Your travel vlogs are so beautiful and inspiring - I hope to capture a fraction of the magic on my trip. One of the biggest life lessons I've learned so far is that your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you'll have - it's the only relationship that lasts from your first day to your last day, and it is the foundation of all other relationships in your life. You have to spend every moment of your life with yourself, so put in the effort to know, love, and appreciate that person! I think solo travel is an incredible way of doing that.
Yes to the part about friends! I just moved to GA from a different state during the pandemic so I have zero friends. I started my own channel to help me connect with people and not feel so alone!
I’m only 23 but what you said about time speeding up after 21 is sooo true. But I’m glad that age is just a number, so there is really no rush in life.
I’ll agree but add an asterisk to one. At 33, I will gladly give up one 4-5 day vacation so I can have a Sonic (the little pellet ice) ice maker in the house were building 😂 A real ice maker that will last 20+ years is worth a few days not going to Mexico. And I LOVE traveling. I also LOVE tiny ice. Just to be clear I am not talking about a counter top ice maker, I mean an industrial one. Yes....I’m weird haha
What you've said in this video is so spot on! I'm turning 28 in January, and my life hasn't gone exactly as I planned. Once you've gained more life experience, you begin to realize that there is so much you can't control. For example, my Husband and I were living in Atlanta with full-time jobs. COVID-19 hit, and we both lost our jobs. So, in the blink of an eye we drove cross-country home to California. Now, we both work at a grocery store and live with my parents. Definitely didn't see this coming, but I've also come to realize that LIFE IS SHORT. The material things no longer matter to me, saving money is super important to me now. No matter how much you plan, we're all still kids wandering this world; nobody has life more figured out than the other.
I agree about the haze after 21. I am only 25, but I often still say I am 21 because that is the last birthday I actually remember or looked forward to.
As a 34 year old single lady, I need to remind myself of the timeline one. I beat myself up often about not having a family by now, especially with my younger bother's wedding happening next year. It's been a little rough on me.
This is the first video of yours I watched and I enjoyed this list a lot! The quotes and all your points are so wise. I'll turn 24 next year and I wanna be setting real expectations on myself when I turn 30, so thank you for this raw advices
100000% agree with deciding so early (regarding a college major)! i even researched my job trajectory, supposedly it was in demand (hell even know its growing "faster than average") but the BLS statistics have not supported what I've seen on the ground through trying to advance my career. As I've gotten more work experience, my career path is drastically changing.
I feel like I constantly compare myself to others, instead of appreciating where I am and what I have accomplished. It is especially hard watching friends reach life goals that I really want to get to as well. I know that you are right, that we are all on our own path, and that everything will come with time! Also, that savings tip is no joke! I am 27 and am buying a condo, on my own, in less than two weeks!!
LOVE LOVE THIS VIDEO! I learned to let go of a lot of things and not get involved or care as much about other peoples drama's and problems that were directly related to me or anything I could do.
Wow! Amazingly spot on. I’m 56, retired (that thing she says about saving is true!) and I wish someone had tattooed these thinyon my fore arm when I was 18 or so. Thanks Allison.
30 is the new 20! Love watching your videos. I am in my 40’s but can relate and utilize your contents. There are so many things that we can learn from each other.
I really needed this right now. I’m 25 and getting my own place for the first time and my parents are saying it’s a mistake and waste of money. But I feel like I need this experience to really grow and figure out what I want.
I am turning 20 next week and have already started dreading getting older but you saying that 30 is pretty cool and that you are going to enjoy it even more just gave me so much positivity about the life I have left to live :)
I turned 30 in February. I decided to go back to school for my master’s in early January. I’ve progressed my degree a total of three times already, each time with judgement from others. I learned to not give a damn about others who want to judge me for becoming a more successful person. And also, that my 20s wasn’t the right time to have babies. BABIES CAN WAIT, YALL.
Well done Allison! This is honestly such a positive video to watch! Your tip about traveling made me more motivated and inspired to actually apply for traveling jobs and programs and dive more into chasing my dreams and goals. And also at the same time, your tip about remembering that you have time put me at ease knowing that life isn't a race! Plus, just gotta say that I love your positivity about aging and how life just keeps getting better! So, Allison, just want to say that I hope and pray all the best and the better for you in your 30s! Thanks for sharing with us! ❤️ P.S. Love your name cause it is the same as mine...AND it's spelled the right way 😉
This is the kind of content I need in my life 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I could watch sit down chatty videos all day long and will search them out over any cleaning, makeup, clothing style video any day. They speak to me so much!!
This was a such a goodie! First video I’ve seen of yours and being 20 yo I’m starting to think a lot about these kinds of things. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to the next decade of my life 😊🤘🏽
Hi Allison I'm Hamza, 24 from Pakistan. Everything you said really resonated with me. It was like a sincere advice from a caring friend. Thankyou so much. Hope to meet you someday(oops, haha) and hangout.
I’m 31 and I agree with everything you said! I had a baby at 22 then got married then I graduated college. That’s pretty much the reverse direction of “traditional” but we’re all doing our own thing just trying to get through life.
Simply put: Enjoy THE Journey! 🤩 I was a high school athlete who knew nothing about college, yet was college bound until the end of my junior year when my high school (vocational school) canceled sports our senior year and I suffered a bad injury my junior year in both sports football and basketball. My blessing was attaining a academic scholarship that I had no idea what to do with. This experience alone helped shape my twenties. I went to and graduated college
I'm 25 and I've learned most of these, but am still working on some. For example "Let go or be dragged." I wholeheartedly understand the concept, but why is letting go so hard to do? Maybe I need it on a magnet!
This is so great, for someone who's now entering adulting, this helps a lot. When i search here on RU-vid, "what should i do in my 20s" or "tips on adulting", all i see is about money and how to get rich, and it's so annoying that people don't priorities self-being and personal growth in their 20s. I think, entering 20s and adulting is much more existential crisis than worrying about money. Yes, money has a lot of importance, we could get a job that could make us survive, but figuring out what to do in life is much more stressful.
I wish more people shared your perspective on not saving a large portion of one's travel ambitions for retirement. I feel like I'm always explaining my rationale for that for people! I put honestly, having seen my older relatives face so many health and mobility problems in spite of taking care of themselves, I can't take any bets. And even the most fit 65-year-old has limitations compared to someone 30 decades their junior.
I'm turning 25 in a few weeks and I think I expected to feel more "solid" in my career and friendships by now when I was younger, but I feel like I'm really just now beginning to figure out that stuff. This was a helpful video to remind me that it's ok to take my time, there's no clock to beat.
i'm 25 and this helps a lot. what i learned lately is it's ok to not be as ambitious as some people. just take ur time, dont give yourself too much pressure. forgive yourself
I love what you said about it’s just as important to find out what you don’t like as what you DO like! The process of elimination! So true. I’ve felt like a failure at times because I’ve eliminated so many options and changed paths so many times but I’m getting that much closer each time! Thank you for this perspective 🙏🏼 ❤️
Such a great video that I will be looking up to :D I'm in my twenties but I can especially relate to the process of elimination and don't wait to travel. The trip to LA this year changed my life!
this video was so concise and well-said! I'm 21 and I really took these lessons to heart - i love all your advice videos and your youtube channel in general! you're so inspiring to me and are the reason I started to consider solo travel. thank you!!
Hey Allison! I've been following you for years and I'm so glad to see the shifting in your channel, I love this kind of content. Also, LOVE your background. Do you have a room tour? Something about decoration? I'd love to see more as I'm doing an entire re-do of my home:) Thanks
