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Also I drew a lot of connections to Catholic orders, especially Benedictines with their rule of Saint Benedict. (Basically about how to live a virtuous life)
It's more concerning when you consider how many young men are struggling with this. I think just bringing it up as a problem that can be discussed will help a lot of people.
You cant have an honest conversation about this because it inherently involves modern dating dynamics and many legitimate grievances that the redpillers and self improooooov gurus built their grift on. Discussion about the state of men is inherently all sorts of "-ystic" or "-ist" and conversation gets shut down because people are so scared of those labels, too.
Pretty sad right, when you can literally walk around a city, sober and tell 100 girls you think they are beautiful and 99 will ignore you and one will say thanks, stop for a chat, give you her number and be up for a meetup 🙄
This is also a symptom of lack of role models for young men. Young men now at days just dnt have any form of mentorship coming from older men. We need to start changing the culture around mentorship for the better.
@@byza101 Multilevel problem here. First of all most girls have heard it so much it's lost all meaning unless the setting is right. Mainly it's because if you're looking for a serious relationship that's generally not the way to go. You should try to be friends first and build a romantic relationship on top of that. Don't just talk to a random girl and try to become romantic partners. See if you have common interests, get to know her as a person, then maybe see if there's something there. I recommend going out and doing things you like to do and you'll meet people. Aka touch grass and don't be creepy lol
@@rainmaker3948 it's like telling an alcoholic, stop drinking. It might work in some cases, but if it would have worked they likely wouldn't be an alcoholic anymore. For me, the only thing that works, is keeping myself busy. The busier I am, the less tempted I am to do that. Staying away from home helps as well. When the streak builds you will not want to do it even in times when you have time. But the more idle you become, the more likely the relapse.
My friend YOU have done a great thing in this video. This subject is hardly ever addressed when it is actually one of the biggest problems society has today. Many thanks brother.
Good idea for a video and kudos for making it. Napoleon Hill wrote at entire chapter on the Mystery of Sex Transmutation. That's worth rereading from time to time. There are some good ideas on how to channel this energy into something more productive.
I appreciate your courage. It gives other men the courage to both acknowledge and then deal with this issue. And kudos to your wife, who obviously is committed to understanding and helping you in your efforts to be faithful to her, instead of shaming and belittling you.
The bible also talks about unclean spirits. If we struggle with something we cannot control, we might have a stronghold and need to seek deliverance. Look into this, you'll be suprised.
Thank you for making this video, it means a lot to know someone as successful and influential as you are, has the same problem. Really, every man has this problem, it’s completely taboo to speak about. This could be the most important video you’ve ever made, as it will start many men on a path that will transform their lives, best of luck to everyone. Capitalise on the opportunity to take action off the back of this video! ❤
Jesus changes everything, freed me from a sexual addiction. John 8:36 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 God bless us all!!
For all the catholics out there, who want to come closer to god: Ask the lord to help you. Daily prayer, including mental prayer. Three hail marys before going to bed and three after waking up. Stay praying, and when you get freed by the addiction be humble and always see god as your liberator. Last point: Strive for perfection, never give up. If you fall, stand up and keep going. The is no standing still, it is either going further or falling back.
What sweeteners are you using, could you give a few examples please?! I don't want them too sweet, just enough to take out any bitterness that might be hiding there!! Also, could you do an updated or little more in depth video "s" for personal accessories. I get made fun of sometimes because I always carry a pen and notepad with me...law enforcement habit. But I usually have a nice pen for example a Cross or Parker, is that odd?!
No good to use anything as a coping mechanism, like alcohol, weed or what not. Only we do this. Not sure how but Indians never got addicted to weed because for them it was a social initiation rite involving some form of coaching. They also used sex acts for that double bind situation of confusion factor for initiation, and I suppose porn could be used that way too. However I have not seen it done that way in any culture yet. Many things that are traumatic can be healing when used within another context. I am not saying there are contexts that are healthy for porn, but porn itself is only half of the story.
This is a serious question I've been thinking about. Maybe you have some thoughts. Does what you said apply to rollercoasters as well? A person goes on rollercoasters because it is pleasurable and exciting. If someone were to say "you only go on rollercoasters because you are running away from something" it would sound ridiculous. Are there situations where a person can seek pleasure because it feels good without running away from something?
@@joekidd298 Agreed. It would sound a little odd for someone to tell you that you are only riding the rollercoaster because you are trying to runaway from something. I guess it comes down to circumstances and the intent behind the action. But there is definitely a bit of a grey area; it is not totally black or white. You can ride the rollercoaster purely for the pleasure and excitement of it or potentially as a distraction to take your mind off a painful break-up for a couple of hours.
Thank you so much for your helpful tip! I was able to verify the person and book a call session with her. She seems very proficient and I'm really grateful for your guidance
Hey man, that's good for the here and now, but if you died tonight, do you know for certain that you would go to heaven? Are you a sinner? Unfortunately, sin separates us from God, but there's good news; Jesus Christ can save any sinner. Let me know if you want to be saved or have questions.
Sounds like we all need a saving relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ! You have to have a love outside of your own sinful flesh to overcome the temptation to sin. Not just what you’re describing but the everyday struggle to fall short of God’s Devine nature. Philosophy will not fix the internal struggle only through a true relationship with Jesus will you be able to consistently overcome the flesh. We will never be perfect but all will have to strive to master our ungodly desires.⏳🙏🏽
@@lmXela i agree. And that's why we should talk about it more. Nobody knows about it or just don't talk about it. It destroyed a friend of mine's life so i know what can happen.
They gaslight you that it is a taboo over getting help. It is not. They don't want people to explore and ask questions why this is a problem because it inherently leads to modern mainstream ideas pushed upon the society.
No one was ever on their deathbed, wishing they worked more. That's the problem I have with accounting and planning every minute of the day. That in itself is a coping mechanism, and many men get addicted to working on something all the time. A healthy balance of work and play is needed for most. Sometimes, it's okay to sit and stare at a wall for a while. Helps me clear my mind.
You don't have to plan every hour for work-related activities. Add the likes of walking, gym, reading books, and chatting with a close friend to the schedule.
I agree completely and it's exactly what I thought when he said that we should account for every minute of our day. Letting your mind go idle is how you come up with ideas and solutions sometimes.
I thought about sex so much i told my dad its annoying and i want it to stop, i wish i wouldn’t want sex at all. he laughed and told me be happy. It got better in my 30s
It’s only a problem if you feel like it is or if you’re trying to accomplish a certain goal. Humans are sexual creatures it’s just normal and especially men are initiators, if we don’t think about it all the time then we won’t be motivated to obtain it, which leads to depression.
@@dah_goofster No, sex should not be your motivation. Being motivated by temporal things, especially something as temporal as sex is what leads to depression and meaninglessness. Sex is for your wife for the purpose of having children, period.
Soon, there is going to be the rapture. It's when there will be trumpet sounds, and after the trumpet sounds, God will lift his people from here. Also, God said people should be living by the Bible. Amen, and God bless ❤* John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have eternal life". ❤
Don’t be afraid of the word addiction. Here’s a modern definition. “ an addiction is any pattern of behavior repeated over time despite negative consequences” Tommy Rosen
That not only de-emphasizes just how bad addiction actually is for people with addiction issues, it stigmatizes regular human coping behaviors and pass times. No thank you, keep that watered-down sewerage to the universities and leftist ideologues.
@@MiaogisTeas I’ve watched a lot of people wreck their lives with various addictions (both chemical and process). This isn’t minimization. Usually we only use the term addiction after it wrecks someone’s life. What if we could realize that and makes changes before that.
@@alexxxO_O It leaves out the part that says people have difficulties quitting their addiction. To say it's just a repeated pattern of behaviour with negative consequences can make it look like you don't care about negative consequences. Also it is not just any pattern. People can have a pattern of violent behaviour which constantly brings them negative consequences, but it doesn't mean they are addicted to violence, but can be a symptom of other problems
You have studied all these great philosophers but haven't studied and had a revelation of God's grace???? God's grace is not just to go to heaven but also to conquer day to day struggles
The Torah and the psalms of David are a part of the Old Testament in the Bible which both of which came we’ll be for Muhammad. Nether the Torah or Psalms of David mentioned Muhammad or describe Muhammad especially in any traditional interpretation of the text. So yes they did come first but that doesn’t help your case
I think there was a guy 2000 years ago who said something about lusting after a woman being equal to committing adultery in your heart and plucking your eye out if it caused you to sin. If I recall correctly his moral teachings are the foundation on which western civilization was built, but he's pretty obscure Antonio I'm sure thats why he didn't make the cut and not a lack of fortitude on your part because you're afraid it would hurt your brand.
@@dustina69 Your argument is flawed because, boiled down, it says this: "Don't advocate for your worldview." That's a mistake, because the world is better when everyone is free to advocate for a worldview--religious or not--because MORE expression gets society closer to truth. If a religion is false, its falsity will be exposed under the pressure of experimentation and competing ideas.
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me-everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9 NLT
Some more verses and thoughts for my fellow Christian brothers struggling with sexual sin: 1. You're not defined by your sin. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 "God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." - 2 Corinthians 5:21 You're a new creation. Your past and your struggles do not define you. God defines who you are and in Christ you have become the righteousness of God. 2. Embrace your identity in Christ. "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9 You're royalty and you're priestly. Romans 8:14-16 says you've received the Spirit of sonship. You're a prince of the most High God, so don't listen to the lies of the devil that tell you otherwise. "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5 Identify the lies and temptations and remind yourself of the truth and of who you TRULY are in Christ. Consider why David fell in 2 Samuel 11. It wasn't just because he saw a beautiful woman. The catalyst for it lies in verse 1: instead of going off to war "in the spring, at the time when kings go off to war", he remained in Jerusalem. He was a king who, in that culture and day, was not living out his identity as a king by fighting alongside his army. It's the same for us. "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" Romans 14:17 "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7 This is the identity we need to embrace more and more each day. We need to be preoccupied living out our identity as kingdom warrior princes so that "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ". We need to be too busy with God to "give the devil a foothold" (Ephesians 4:27).
Yeah but not as much as men. Our "situation" literally hangs out and can be stimulated at any time and we are hardwired to impregnate multiple mates. Not that that is an optimal solution, but it is a bio reality.
@@Prairiegirl3 It's actually a sad thing for women if we acted on these natural proclivities. Another bio reality is our attraction to fertility which is why men typically prefer younger women. If we acted on this proclivity, every lady over 37 would be alone with children 🤷🏽♂
Please don’t empty your mind… That’s a trap. Instead, fill it with the right things. No one wants an unhealthy empty mind. Meditation means thinking/reflecting, do it about the right things (not nothing).
Phil 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." I have the following observation. When I have quality time with God (prayer, Bible study, occupying my mind with spiritual things) I have exactly the same amount of temptation as when I don't. But... I can overcome it effortlessly. When I am on a spiritual slippery slope the urge to do those things is just painful. This is how our nature works. We can set up boundries, engage other poeple to help us, put effort in making our livea more organized but if we don't start with Jesus Christ right here, right now we've gone nowhere. God bless! ❤
Yeah, exactly! That's why you have to stick with a prayer routine, just a like a workout routine, even when you don't feel like it. It's like being a soldier or an athlete.
A very important topic in our society today. I offer my own source of roughly 2,000 year old wisdom and insight in the matter. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalted itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” II Corinthians 10:5 “Flee youthful lust; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” II Timothy 2:22-26 “But I say to you whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” Matthew 5:28 “I say then: Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the list of the flesh.” Galatians 5:15-17
Really love your videos, maybe look into your sponsor because better help do a lot of shady stuff and a lot of RU-vidrs do not use them as sponsors anymore.
Maybe its to extreme. I would say every 2 weeks its healthy to release yourself but without porn. just do it and its done like a quicke with a stranger... its also fast after such a while, you wont last long. you lose a lot of willpower to force yourself not to do it.
On line porn is a real issue. I got to the point where I actually did one! Not a joke. Not a career choice I’d recommend. Especially for the women. Not good.
- 0:00🔒 Initial hesitation to discuss the topic due to personal discomfort and realization of personal involvement. - 3:08🧠 Benefits of desexualizing the brain: improved mental clarity, enhanced productivity, better emotional regulation, healthier relationships, increased self-control. - 6:31🔒 Committing to a life of eudaimonia over hedonism as a philosophy for fulfillment and virtue. - 9:34⏰ Importance of discipline and routine in avoiding idle time and potential pitfalls. - 10:30☠ Practicing "Memento Mori" to stay focused on meaningful pursuits rather than fleeting pleasures. - 11:39🧘♂ Utilizing meditation and mindfulness to acknowledge and redirect sexual impulses positively. - 13:11⚖ Using negative visualization to deter indulgence and prioritize long-term goals. - 13:52🍫 Embracing simple pleasures as healthier coping mechanisms, such as dark chocolate and tea.
Get rid of addictions but don't desexualize your brain. Addictions ruin us but the problem isn't being sexual. A heterosexual man is supposed to feel attraction to women. That kind of sexuality is normal. It is normal to be attracted to women, I'm talking only from my own perspective here that's why homosexuality isn't mentioned in this comment beyond this. Seeing an attractive woman is not bad, looking at porn and spending too much time on sexual thoughts is bad. Feeling attracted to women on a healthy level is ok. Sexuality is a normal part of your brain. "Be fruitful and multiply." -God How would you fulfill that part of what god said if you never feel attracted sexually to a woman?
Desexualized my brain years ago. Every time I was dating or meeting new people, it was the same thing women playing games and wasting my time trying to become my sex life trying to get whatever they want by trading sex and being greedy about it and after all this time I was wasting, I was getting sick of the same thing so I learned to become detached from it and focus on my future guitar, going to the gym and learning to start a company, I remember when I did my own thing I was having women after me all the time, but it didn’t phase me even women would try coming on me while I’m working and I just ignored it because it’s always the same thing. It’s not long-term investment, it amazes me how many men I meet that are so pussy whipped and so dependent on women that they can’t even focus on their goals and what needs to be done and they decide to use all their energy to make fun of people like me for not having a partner or looking for women, and I always say to them. What’s more important to you your goals in your happiness or a chick that’s gonna forget about you in a week. Please do a video where you talk about your grandparents having a Filipino family. You’ve never met before that story was intriguing.
Glad you made this, great video. I believe pornography is one of the very very top problems to men today, leading to mental health, or other worse problems, and it’s sadly not addressed enough and there doesn’t seem to be enough help or direction on where to go when having a problem.
the Bible? The Bible also talks about David, a man after God's own heart, who had multiple wives and concubines. After Saul, David took his wives to be his own. He also took Bathsheba to be his wife and had Uriah killed so that he could have his wife legitimately. And the God of the Bible never punished David for polygamy. He only punished his and Bathsheba's first child because David had Uriah killed. But afterwards all was well for David..
Why bring up Eudaimonia if the point ended up being to set up a contract and having accountability partners? That has nothing to do with virtue. And when I think of Ulysses, I think of the James Joyce novel. The main character of the Odyssey is generally referred to as Odysseus in current English.
The problem is with smartphones everywhere it is easier for people to watch that stuff and it is going to get worse because it is already affecting children. It seems like social media and other platforms aren't doing much to filter it out either, the world seems to keep getting more and more sexualized there has to be a way to control that
I would add from Aquinas, that all temptations begin in the good and from CS Lewis' Screwtape Letter #15 that temptation is usually centered on something that it is the wrong time to experience in order to distract you from something else in the present.
You give fantastic advice. I'm still a virgin and can't find a soul for whatever reason. I'm not broke, save, do what I'm supposed to, upkeep myself, have manners, have hobbies, etc. idk what I'm doing wrong, but I'm starting to think it's not me at all. Everyone has their moments of weakness though, and I'm no different. I'm curious though since others have their own perspectives.
I know this video was probably much more difficult to make than you let on. I'm currently on a similar path of getting my mind and body right so this video is eerily timely. Thanks 👍
Good video. So many guys need to hear this. I had a nasty little habit that was with me for years. It was relatively recently that i fell down the same rabbit hole as yourself. What really stuck with me was the idea that i was addicted to dopamine more so than the content I was viewing. I don't know why but for some reason this really resonated with me and made it more empowering (and easier in a strange way) to quit. I even grew a set and came out to my wife about it. She took it better than I thought ahe would. I think the secrecy around it was just helping feed the habit. I could go on at length but I think I'll just end with this... Thank you for making this video.
Desexualizing yourself is like turning off your desire for love, food, safety, community, etc. Your sexuality is important. And it shouldn't be neglected. The problem is that men are being brainwashed to desexualize themselves in order to deal with the pain of feminist relationship dynamics that weaponize sex against men as a means of control and power. So rather than desexualizing myself, I'm seeking the sexual outlet I actually want with a woman who wants the same level of it with me. Because that's how it's meant to be shared. It's supposed to be an amazing thing that's mutually beneficial for both parties. I am a sexual being and I'm going to enjoy it as best as I possibly can because that's one of the things I want out of life.
you say 'give it up for your goals' but what if the ultimate goal seem to be 'be with many girls' and satisfy yourself in this way? not every mind would understand that any goal can be better. Psychologists say there are 3 things moving every human forward: need for safety/survival, need for sex, need for power. So those are ultimate goals for pretty much every mind, and when you say give up on sexuality for other goals, do you mean double down on safety which for most ppl already not a problem, so that's left is will for power?
Antonio said “I felt at an early age I committed to a life of excellence. I believe I am here for a bigger purpose. And being slave to a sexualized brain that can’t control itself, that is not me.” I think this really defines being human: the ability to cultivate a mindset beyond the basic urges and needs…
If you think about the people in porn as human beings, and realize the magnitude of absolute misery that was required to get that video on your screen it makes it difficult to enjoy. If you only do it using your spank bank at least you're not hurting anyone but yourself. It's altogether still worth avoiding still though
Sadness is completely different emotional state from wisdom. You can be the smartest person alive but if you are missing other key aspects (food, shelter, love, family, sex) you're gonna be sad.
@@kristijan8518 The top of Maslow's pyramid is self actualization. You gain wisdom the rest comes easier. Or, at least, an understanding. And understanding leads to coping and resourcing. Cheers.
It's easier to follow this advice when you're older, but when you're in your teens and twenties, forget about it. I often forget how hormones made it impossible to not think about sex all the time. I'm not sure if it was a blessing or a curse.
When I was an under age teen there was no porn except for magazines that you found in the woods(dudes would leave them behind for some reason).. Just the spank bank. Still did it on a regular basis but I am grateful there was no 24/7 internet. The problem still arises even in your 60's. Never goes away completely but I can go about one month before the pipes need to be cleared out. It's more about the pressure that needs to be released than being h@rny. The pressure actually gets physically uncomfortable.
This is a problem that should be talked about more, those who are dependent on it don't realize how crippling it can be. I'm actually surprised this is the first time you spoke about it, unless I haven't been subbed to you long enough.
the difficult part is not facing coping mechanisms or trying to enforce discipline, it's the fking ONLINE ECOSYSTEM where all of this exists, which is the internet and social media; as much discipline as you have, you're browsing the internet in search for information or whatever and the goddam algorithms just pushing you vids with half naked women all around or instagram accounts with models etc. even if you dont follow them the goddam phone knows you stopped 5 more seconds to look at a model while you were scrolling thru and now pushes more that type of accounts. It sucks.
Believe it or not -- and why would you ignore it! -- the pastoral, devotional, disciplinary, and sacramental methods of the Catholic Church are unique, efficient, and effective. Try them! Get to your local parish, talk to the priest and a good spiritual advisor, and try them! They've worked for those two thousand years that you're talking about.
Firstly, this is about as likely as "derespirating" your lungs. Thinking about sex is part of our fundamental biological imperative. If you use wanking/sex as a soothing mechanism, welcome to the human race. Secondly, subtly implying that there is something so wrong with it that it requires an online therapist is despicable. Young people struggle enough without sanctimonious guilting.
I remember at one point (and still) having a higher sex drive than my wife. She would always tell me she loves it. But at the same time never be in the mood for it. Which is obviously paradoxical and contradictory. Even though she never came out and admitted it, she seemed to be afraid to admit that she just didn't have the libido anymore. So I instead started working in my self. For example I felt I should not be controlled by these urges. And didn't want to have to do it, especially if my partner was not really into it. As such, I decided to go on a "fast". And avoided all thoughts, images, and anything related to the idea. I also remember sort of accidentally discovering mint tea suppresses my libido (backed up by scientific literature). The funny thing though is, as I fasted this, and started to focus in God, my career, children, and health, I started realising I never actually needed sex. However, it was very awkward when my wife then wanted to initiate sex (I suspect she did it because she was afraid if she didn't, she might lose me), as I had completely been switched off in that regard. But I am much happier to be honest. And I don't need the mint tea anymore. It is just somewhat awkward now, when my wife wants sex...
Yeah, I'm not going to fully agree with you here. I think it's more about living in a society that is both hypersexualized and also being told sex is dirty/bad. For many of the people you were reading, it was the opposite: there wasn't the level of access, but there wasn't the shame around sex that many people feel today. I'm not saying it's out of your control---these steps are good---but if you feel like you're doing them and still having issues, ask yourself: is this really an issue? or am I just being socially conditioned to think it's an issue? And then it's worth looking at therapy or other things like that.
I think thinking bout sex is good! But it should give happyness not pleasure! Big difference lies in the way you think about it. Not the thinking itself I'd say. I've done more than research on this topic and being depriving yourself of it is not good either. You're coping will be misdirected into another thing. It's how I see it.
I’m not a slave to my sexual desires, It’s just that every girlfriend I had, that’s all they think about. I have high sex drive, but can keep it under control. I think being in relationship is what doesn’t allow me not to think about sex,
Antonio, thanks so much for making this video! Thank you for being vulnerable and honest with your community, its encouraging! I'm a Roman Catholic and like many men, struggled with this for years, its only been the past couple years that I've been pretty much free of this vice, and it took a lot of the steps you detailed here, so I can personally attest to how effective your suggestions are, including building virtue and learning to deny yourself so ask to make better decisions! Thanks for sharing!
theres still gonna be rough nights and days where nothing is working and you just have to suck it up and take it, as painful or miserable or neverending as it feels. Suck it up and get through it. You want a fast way to get strong? Lay awake all night teying to avois temptations and praying to God for help, as long you have to, until it goes away, at least for the moment. Also, just wait to get older. It gets more manageable as you age. Doesn't go away, but gets controllable.
This was excellent. Please more videos like this. The references were thoughtful. You really showed how human you are, despite your authority within your audience. Felt great to see this.
Bro, I'm already sexless my entire life. How can you desexualize your basic needs? It's like saying "you need to stop the hunger" when you haven't eaten for weeks.
