2007 Artie Falls Asleep on The Toilet Artie on Letterman Discussed 

I think the private plane trip is mentioned in one of Artie's books. He takes a huge crap while everyone in the plane is eating sushi, and he stunk up the plane so bad the hedge fund guy called off the business venture

"It's a Jew broad who fights Draculas" has to be the funniest way to describe Buffy I have ever heard lmao

Without a doubt Artie thought Hawaiian Punch was healthier than soda

Howard saw through the hedge fund guy website crap quik.. 😂

" I’d like to admit that I also completely shit my pants on that plane, which I’m even less happy to admit is something I’m no stranger to doing. I don’t remember the first time it happened, but I know for a fact that during that phase of my life it became a regular thing. It began to happen so much that I made a game of it by stashing my shitty underwear in the corner of the balcony of whatever hotel I happened to sleep in that night. This was a one-sided game, because the maids who were my opponents had no idea that we were playing, and by the time they did, I’d already won. It was an Easter Egg hunt where the eggs were all brown and only one kid was looking. Here’s how I would play it out: if I shit my pants completely, I’d find the most tucked-away corner of the room and stuff them in there in such a way that the horror of what they held wasn’t visible from a distance-only picking them up would reveal the “goods.” To balance this cruel joke that I completely enjoyed, I’d leave a $20 bill on the dresser. That was my sarcastic thank-you. In my mind here’s how it played out: the maid would come into the room and think I was a great guy for leaving such a huge tip. Then they’d find my pile of shit in those underpants on the balcony and realize that $20 wasn’t even close to covering what they deserved."

Buffy the Vampire Slayer being a jew broad that fights Draculas is still one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I'll think of that from time to time and just start laughing.

It's funny when you listen to Artie's book crash and burn where he describes what ended up happening when he got on that hedge fund guys plane, let's just say Artie had to use the toilet after taking some "h" and stunk the plane up so bad that he ruined the friendship 😂

I'd be so pissed if I invested all my money into a hedge fund and found out they invested in "Artie Lange's Beer League"

When your famous robin.

I wonder who the hedge fund guy was? I think he mentioned him in his book Crash and Burn I believe.

What’s his weird obsession with his brother in law Pete

Googled it I think the billionaire is Dan gilbert

these AI stern characters are INSANE

Jesus if Artie stayed straight he'd be raking it in. He's great in those late night shows

Fell asleep on the toilet?

I can hear the year of 2007, 8, and 9 as Artie became more impossibly immersed in drugs. This rhetorical long winded story should be a study of the negative impact drugs can have progressively on your mind..

Artie was becoming insufferable here.

He shit everywhere and they stopped speaking to him!

Hedge funds before the market crash in 08

Howard acting like he doesn’t know about hedge funds is funny.

Artie wouldn’t have made it much longer anyway. Howard went too Hollywood.

Maybe it was a young sam bankman 😂

Howard if you know so many people that run hedge funds why you asking Audi what one is? Yeah you were going to do something similar funny or die but it seems like a lot of work? Yeah I was going to invent the cell phone but that should make a lot of work too why does he lie so much he's a billionaire from radio be proud of that He was always working on something but never released anything besides books & a movie 30yrs ago

Sounds like a bunch of typical Artie BS. Just more I know a guy stuff......

17:30 very underrated caller if he's doing a bit. If they question him he just commits further.

Howard always obsessed with others who also are wealthy and needs to count their money smh , so nosey.

Howard is such a jerk to Artie…any success Artie touched Howard tried to drag him down.

We know now that the majority of Artie's stories were either entirely fabricated or grossly embellished.

Wiggy can’t even hold back his jealousy of the hedge fund guys. No one else is even deserving of having money in his mind. He’s so sick

Arti again has no idea what he is talking about. So full of shit.

I hope gerald never procreates

Artie knew epstein

Howard hated any success Artie had.. a terrible fake friend. Totally crab in a bucket