#277 

I went through this and it is absolute torture. Something I think is noteworthy is that it didn't start for me until about 3 months postpartum. I had been given antibiotics for a UTI and the intrusive thoughts literally started within a couple of days of the antibiotic. Like 0 to 100. I know mental health and gut health have been linked, so I really hope more research is done on the subject. I was also given an SSRI and am doing a lot better now.

Wonderful video! I struggled for almost 10 yrs with what i thiught was terrible anxiety/"going crazy" and it turned out to be OCD. I was such a depressing scary time. Still tough but knowing it's OCD and NOT me helps!

Thank you for this video. I had my first episode of OCD earlier this year.I’ve had severe health anxiety for a few years but controlled but this episode was different. I heard a story about a mom who hurt herself because she had a “mental illness” and I instantly spiraled into the dark hole of “what if i develop a severe mental illness and lose control? No amount of reassurance from my psychologist could put my mind at ease that I wouldn’t end up like the poor girl. For months I became ridden with anxiety and panic. My thoughts evolved about fear of harming myself to thoughts about my child who is 2. They are paralyzing. Though they aren’t all harm related, thank God but I have thoughts like “I regret becoming a parent. I wish he would just go away, etc”. It breaks my heart everyday because I’ve never loved another being more than I love my child. I feel like a monster, like the worst parent in the world. Like I don’t know who i am anymore. I’m ridden with guilt every time I look at his face. I wish I could go back in time and undo these thoughts and anxiety. I have noticed that my thoughts always revolve around stories I’ve read online.

Watching this and I am struggling with this a lot

I relate so much. I had my first intrusive thought my first day home from the hospital. They were horrible. I also looked up my symptoms and saw someone else say they worried they would put their baby in the oven or feel triggered by a pen or pencil. That’s when I knew I probably had pp ocd. I had my intrusive thoughts for almost a year. The first 8 months were intense. I wish I sought help. I didn’t tell anyone for 9 months. They tapered off over time and I tried different coping skills.

I can relate still dealing with it