Stephanie buttermore used exactly the same analogy as jumping into cold water with going all in! She’s a great inspiration to check out as someone recovering from extreme dieting and exercise addiction
If I am totally honest the wanting to do it little by little is done in the hope of not gaining, so its not about trickling in fear foods slowly but about still trying to delay any gain...and its stupid because ultimately my head needs to learn the lesson that weight gain and being ok with weight gain is what its about , I cant learn to be unafraid of it by avoiding it.
It’s really good that you can be honest with yourself about this. Your body will end up wherever it’s meant to be, regardless of how it gets there or how much you micro manage it along the way 😊
Thank you for the hard truth. I appreciate it. But at the same time i have to disagree because with slow gaining you have more time to accept it because it's harder to even notice the small changes unlike when you go all in. I don't know if it's same with other approaches but Minnie Maud or All in is basically like brutal atack on your body, hormons etc. Just after two months of recovery i am 24/7 bloated and my whole body (from head to toes) is swollen which for my sick mind is equal as gaining permanent weight.
@@katieb5707 I take your point. But I did the same thing with smoking , telling myself cutting down gradually made it easier, it also made me not do it ultimately...until I just stopped cold turkey. And eating is harder plus there is the metabolism thing and the empowerment of passing ED off ..but having said that I think whatever works is the right path..for me personally I need to be aware of making excuses that may not apply to you. Best of luck and much love
I am so surprised that you were ever able to have an eating disorder because you have such a great, confident personality. Like in the beginning of this video you’re just like “yeah these people are passionate and they lash out at me but basically they are going to do that “ and you just keep on with your own beliefs. I don’t have that confidence and I think that is why I’ve had an eating disorder for 25 years now. I admire you!
Hi Tabitha! I just wanted to note that a lot of people with diabetes (particularly type 1) drink diet soda because it's more appropriate for them in regards to health. That's the only case where I see people drinking diet beverages for reasons other than being afraid of weight gain. Now for a person in recovery who isn't one of those people, diet drinks most definitely aren't appropriate.
Tabitha you’ve just nailed me- I love swimming and watch people dillying about getting in cold water and it actually generates fear in them- I leap in and feel the cold once and crack on swimming. I’ve dillyed with committing to rewiring until now; I am going to apply the same principals to my recovery - this Hal baker dipping in and out is no use to man or beast - it’s another ED lie. Thank you - here goes.xxx
Hey Tabitha hope you’re well. I was wondering if you could give your opinion on the recent news and ways the government are planning on tackling obesity by changing guide lines and requiring calories to be put on all menus at cetera. Thank you for always making great videos covering the variety of topics and being such a wonderful help for people x
i feel like I need to do it in steps because i have digestive issues. im only just starting to tolerate more volume and mealtimes than x snack-sized meals a day
Hi @Tabitha I need your firm advice please ! Basically I want to go all in ! Stop compulsive movement and honour my hunger. I have extreme mental hunger constantly and sometimes extreme physical hunger, I would say I’ve been trying all in recovery for about 1 months now, but out of that month I’ve had maybe 5 days where I’ve actually done what I need to do : rested fully and honoured my hunger fully. Most days including today I walk compulsively and clean to distract myself from eating to me hunger. Eating the minimum recovery amount but I know deep down I’m hungry for much more and all I want to do is eat and rest. Would you say that it’s easier to rip the bandage off and go cold turkey on the movement compulsions whilst honouring extreme hunger ? My fear is that if I don’t distract myself and allow myself to rest and be unproductive then I will want to eat even more ! I’ve completely stopped all « workouts » for over a year and now just walk and clean as movement. Although I’m walking a lot less than what I used to a month ago, now around 10k steps whereas last Month it was consistently 20k+, I still feel like the amount I do now is necessary for me to allow myself to eat what I’m eating now (which is the 3 meals 3-4 snacks). I really want to deep down just go for it tomorrow ! Wake up not move and eat until my hearts content .. But I know it’s not as simple as that sadly What would you recommend I do
I was wondering how to know what I genuinely want to eat. That puzzle is making me freeze. I tend to eat the same exact thing in response to that, except if I have some kind of outside support (like when I go to my partner's house and eat with him). My question : how to plan for groceries and meals in order to eat a good variety of food to recover. I love you. Thank you !!!!
You don't have to stress about it. In my recovery my cravings followed a pattern. At first all I craved was peanut butter, bananas, bread and chocolate so I bought an amount of those that I knew would last me about a week. Also, you can make a list of fear foods and foods you really like.
So if recovery helps so much in terms of not stressing about life stuff, then where do we get "those people always stressing in work meetings" that Tabitha talks about at the end? I really doubt all those people have eating disorders
Struggling so bad with not feeling sick enough. Know I said that on the last video, but I don’t look thin anymore even though I’m over 10kg under my pre-ed weight. ):
There isnt such a thing as 'not sick enough'. When you have an ED (or any other mental illnes) your are always sick enough. I know its really difficult to grab because for your Ed you will never be sick enough. So its just your Ed speaking. You have to try and fight that voice (i know its difficult, but you can do it
No one mentions the fact that Tabitha did not know the term 'egosyntonic' in Livyly Taube's question, did not admit to this but pretended like she knows and tried to answer anyway, looked it up online but not in the context of anorexia, saw 'ego' and 'conscious self-concept' in the definition and started talking about being self-centered or egoistic. The egosyntonic nature of anorexia does NOT mean being self-centered, egoistic or constantly thinking about oneself and not paying attention to others. It refers to the fact that anorexic people tend to value their disorder, which is problematic for recovery: "A serious problem faced by clinicians treating anorexia nervosa is the egosyntonic nature of the illness, wherein individuals with anorexia nervosa value their disorder, thereby hindering motivation for recovery and engagement with treatment." As for my ED, the egosyntonic nature of anorexia translates to the feeling that restrictions, rules and conditions are good because by following them, I'll become a more disciplined person. Since being a disciplined person is what I value in life, my self-esteem naturally improves if I succeed. Success in restricting is ego-syntonic to me because it's one of my values. Recovering from ED would mean annihilating my values, the values that gave me confidence and self-esteem. Letting go of rules such as skipping meals, eating small portions and eating less than anyone else would mean failure to uphold my disciplines, which further goes to show that I'm weak and don't have enough stamina, which would ultimately impale my sense of self-worth. I really feel Livyly Taube on this problem which I wished Tabitha could have taken more seriously by being honest about not having the knowledge at the moment and offering to get back to the person after doing more research.
i love you and all your videos tab! a point addressing what you said at the start though; vegans are very passionate because we hold strong ethical beliefs and have seen what happens to these poor factory farm animals and the environment, we just feel strongly for this reason. i don’t however agree with vegans that are overly aggressive/rude/forceful. they give us a bad rep. but i promise most of us are sweet and compassionate and inclusive people ❤️
I am vegan. Have been ages. I think that no matter if one is eating animal based products or not. As long as one cannot allow oneself those foods that one really craves, it is restriction. Some people take a break from veganism while recovering. It is everybodys own decision.
Also vegan here. I think anyone who chooses “Veganism” it is more of a lifestyle than a diet. And now you can have a “normal” foods that are vegan so easily, veganism can be “unhealthy” and there are so many delicious options now. Veganism is not a health diet. If it’s only a diet then it’s plant-based :)
@@ffiontill5924 exactly! 👍🏻 For us Veganism is our way to eat and live. Unfortunately for some people it is an excuse not to eat certain foods. Like you said, there is vegan option for everything! We can eat whatever, unrestricted even though we are vegans. 😍 One must be honest to oneself.
@@nellijune I agree with that but you have to acknowledge your privilege in this case. I couldn't recover as a vegan because in my country is extremely difficult to find vegan junk food. Everyone needs to take care of themselves first, then of those around them and the animals.
@@laluna4812 Absolutely. I am at good position and I really am privileged. And of course, most important thing is to get oneself recovered before it is possible to save others.
honestly i cannot imagine going all in. i have tried. it´s terrifiyng. the concept is crazy to me. even going little by little is getting impossible for me.
I feel like I’m delaying my recovery, at the min im sort of in quasi and still restricting because I feel like I’m waiting to go all in to restore weight but don’t know if I can do it yet any advice? I think I know that maybe all in is the right option but any tips?
If you haven’t done it yet, do it now! I only started two days ago and was super scared but I know it’s the right thing.I was super scared because I’m nearly back to my pre Ed weight and oh no if I do it It’ll be like nothing ever happened, but then I realized that even though my weight has gone up I haven’t done that much mental progress and that needs to change because I don’t want to live with the constant feeling of being hungry and not allowed to eat anymore. I don’t owe being sick and unhappy to anyone and deserve to be happy and so do you. And it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been having disordered eating or what you weigh, look like or anything like that. You deserve to live a happy life! Eating to hunger feels pretty great, I’ve been having extreme hunger and it’s the first time I responded to it and damn I ate a lot, but who gives a damn, and even if I wouldn’t have had extreme hunger, I still wanted to eat all of that. Wow that was quit a rant😂to summarize it again, go all in if you haven’t done it! I can do it and you can do it too
And recovering too fast? Would you be upset about recovering from a cold or the flu too fast? That’s bullshit, go and get your life back as fast as possible. That’s not a bad thing, it would be amazing
@@Hannebambel__ aaww thank you so much really nice to hear another persons experience. I’m doing alright actualky i DID go all in and this is day 17 I believe ! I’m so so happy u have too!! I’ve defo had the same experience with extreme hunger and I’ve eaten so so much haha. Thank you for all ur motivation and kind words! Best of luck in recovery, u can do this and u ABSOLUTELY deserve to get ur life back and u will!! We both will, and one day we will be free from our EDs 🖤 keep going!
Regarding your thoughts about veganism as a vegan in recovery: I definetely agree that it is easier to recover without being vegan. I am a 90% vegan bc a lot of my fearfoods contain dairy but I can`t eat dairy in a long term because it is just against my morals and after not eating animal products for a long time they don`t even taste anymore, I just get sick to my stomach because of it. What is important that you don't get in the "healthy vegan" scene. I'm a proud chocolate, cake, icecream, burger and vegan cheese vegan!
@@em0t33th7 well apparently there isn't that much calcium in dairy as we thought and dairy consumption can actually lead to ostopoerosis. I'm not someone who focuses that much on those studies and so on... but there are a lot of plant based calcium sources, they only critical vitamin/mineral would be B12 but actually everyone should supplement this. I did a blood test and I didn't had anything lacking. I think it is just the dairy industry that tries to sell us that you are only healthy when you consume meat and dairy while it even can damage our health. But I think we are talking rather about mental health at this point and I constantly face my fear foods, ... and eating animal products just makes me feel sad. Okay I don't know why I wrote so much sry😂
Indi X I am with you on the calcium thing. I am definitely a “you do you I’ll do me” person So I am not going to shout from the rooftops about veganism. But I do have a friend who was talking the other day about his wife who has osteoporosis in her jaw and he said “I can’t believe that she has it because she has always drunk a ton of milk from the time she was young. “ I didn’t say anything /bit my tongue but I just know the reports that dairy is NOT the way to get your calcium :-)
@@indix769 blood tests doesnt show level of calcium in your bones, for the body is more important to make mineral balance in your blood so it reabsorb calcium from to bones to make proper level in your blood
I think you are failing to understand the ethical aspect of veganism. You as a carer of animals should consider that. I can see how people could use veganism as a excuse to restrict. But in that sense, they would fail to understand the entire point of veganism. Veganism is a lifestyle not a diet about ethics and maybe even vegans also forget that sometimes as it's sort of become a trend lately with advent of "whole food plant-based diet" and Dr Greger picking up so much momentum and documentaries like Game Changers. There seems to be so much confusion between the two: vegan vs plant-based. These ex-vegans on youtube seem to be equally confused as they focus on the diet aspect rather than the whole reason behind it. Not that one can ignore the health benefits of a plant-based diet. I am acutely aware of that unfortunately having a meat-loving father plagued by cancer, high cholesterol, and heart disease. But obviously eating disorders are life threatening and any sort of restriction is bad in that respect, unless of course you consider that aforementioned "restriction" (i.e. the choice to not eat animal-based products) to be to the benefit of a living being, because you refuse to support the death and exploitation of animals and the negative consequences production and consumption of these products has on environment. As long as you're allowing yourself to eat whatever in the realm of caloric density, as in vegan cakes, vegan burgers, etc. there's no reason to criticize veganism in and of itself. Because veganism has inherently nothing to do with level of "healthiness" in ones diet. And so, as a vegan, your last video felt a bit ill-informed and tactless. And it is difficult and exhausting to explain oneself as a vegan constantly to society. But there you go. Either way, I have found previous videos you've come out with extremely helpful and encouraging as I navigate recovery!
"And it is difficult and exhausting to explain oneself as a vegan constantly to society. " The point is: who cares? Why do you think anyone cares or should care about your diet or lifestyle? I'll answer for you: no one cares. You don't have to explain anything to anyone. You do you and let the others do them, period.
Agreed! There certainly is a way to go about recovery without causing harm to another and the environment. It's all about mindset and the sphere of restriction regarding "healthiness" of food. I do understand many need to withold veganism because they enter a hospital and absolutely need to focus on just eating food and renourishing the body, physiologically and work on their health, both mental and physical. Many have done that on RU-vid and have gone back to their vegan ways when recovered. Veganism isn't restriction-restriction is restriction, depends of the nature and mindset of the individual person, it can be on any "diet". Veganism extends beyond diet and the misconception that you cannot recover whilst being vegan is misinformative and misleading. It can be difficult in terms of the person's ED nature, but it certainly isn't inachievable. Vegan junk exists, it isn't just salads and raw juices.
If you get a huge amount of 'lashings' for saying negative things about veganism - a topic it is very obvious you don't understand - then why do it? Why not leave it out if you are just ending up offending some people with over-generalisations? Veganism is a political stance, not a 'diet'. You are really smart, so I don't know why you haven't made the connection about the political and ethical values that people who are vegan have. I think people have a problem with your criticising something you don't get.
Vegan being political or not, it is a diet. Period. It is a way of eating and eliminating certain food groups. And for some people (myself included) only the thought of forbidden foods makes their brain go wild and extreme hunger return. For some people vegan is absolutely not an option. And for some it's the perfect ways to eat. I think many people who try to recover go vegan, but it comes from a place of restriction instead of ethical choice. And because it happens so frequently I think it IS important to at least adress it.
The analogies are cute and convenient but I'm afraid you are not taking into account the nuanced aspect of individual differences/experience. ..especially if you've had the illness for decades.
