Hi guys! A couple extra tips since I probably won't get to a "recommended books" - Before I buy a book, I usually search it on RU-vid first! you can find a lot of kids books being read fully through on RU-vid! Or we get it from the library and I've noticed we've renewed it/kept it for months. - When I do play kit reviews, I actually flip and show every page of the book! You can slow down the speed with the gear wheel at the bottom of the videos since I know they go kind of fast! - I just want to reiterate: RARE is the perfect book. I tweak almost every book I read my daughter! That's me PERSONALLY. Take what you like from the video, leave what you don't. Come up with your own rules/guidelines. Just do what feels right for you and pay attention/be mindful to the best of your ability within that! - I probably should've expanded "neutral" to "neutral OR positive" meaning it's teaching values/behaviors we want to encourage. So like I mentioned my daughter is obsessed with Trash Truck. In the book it says: "they were even alike in what they disliked. Like accidents and having to be brave" but I change that to "They were even alike in what they disliked. Sometimes they had accidents, but they helped clean up. And sometimes they chose to be brave!" Everything doesn't need to be neutral/informational, I just try to stay away from negative/values that don't align.
Thank you so much for this video. It gave me so much to think about. I teach K-8 and don't have much experience with early childhood and pre K development. So as a first time parent there were things in this video I wouldn't have considered if not pointed out. Much appreciated!
How do you only have 6.87K subscribers?! I have learned SO much from this video, this is such excellent content! My baby is only 10m old but I feel like I watched this video at the perfect time to be able to apply this in time by sorting through our books ahead of time. Thank you so much!
I plan on doing a "master blog post" I continuously update with like a 2-3 sentence review of all the library books we get/go through in the next couple months. In the first video, on choosing books, there's a blog post linked with examples of the types of books I talk about. Probably won't do a video for at least 6 months if I even end up doing one just because I really do tweak almost every book I read her. Like even in the Trash Truck book I mentioned in the last video, it says something like "they were even alike in what they disliked. Like accidents and having to be brave" but I change that to "They were even alike in what they disliked. Sometimes they had accidents, but they helped clean up. And sometimes they chose to be brave!"
I loved your tweaks to max and nana go to the park and bedtime for zoe. I would love to see a big blog post where you talk about your decisions of tweaks and recommendations! @@confidentlymom
Hi! Thank you!! Honestly beyond this and the pinned comment I dk how much more i have to say on our decisions haha It changes often and really just has to do with our family values. I'll keep this in mind though because I can probably expand on things like tweaking for like growth mindset and preparing for disappointments/facts of life for building resiliency! But probably won't get to it for a couple months!@@sunnybsunny
Hey Rachel, I’m glad to see you filter what your daughter is learning. I try my best as well. I did feel a little triggered by Max and Nana goes to the park too and couldn’t figure out why. However, I think when my son falls, I do offer empathy and state what happened and offer comfort, but he usually bounces back pretty fast and it isn’t a big thing. So I don’t think I’m over-babying him. He can usually get a big scrape and just dust it off. I want to role model empathy since he can be a bit of a bulldozer. And I get triggered by parents who tell their child that they are ok. Dismissing and denying any feelings they could have. Like you said, it’s holding space for his big feelings. Whether or not they are there. I think for Max and nana, we emphasize that max fell and that he got hurt. And the writers did do an awkward job on the recovery. Maybe that’s all they knew to do? But we kinda glaze Over that part and my son likes looking at his bandaid and he will say “owie”. Bedtime for Zoe actually came after water would go in his face and he didn’t like it, so for us it’s more of an emphasis on reminding him to “look up!” And he likes that part. We all look up. Like you said, maternal intuition is best and how we want to raise our children. But I’m glad you brought this up. 💛. And definitely respecting our children’s bodies so they can respect themself and others.
It sounds like you are doing great!! Trust me, I'm sure you're not alone with feeling triggered at the Max and Nana part. I'm sure what I ended up talking about was out of left field, especially since that's one of my daughters and a lot of other toddler's FAVORITES. Plus it's 100% the book I'm personally the most triggered by so you could've just picked up on my energy. Body autonomy/safety, codependency, etc are REALLY big topics that have A LOT of conditioning around from our own childhoods, society, etc. and aren't talked about, questioned, or looked at very often, let alone to all the little nuanced details I felt a need to go into; but I felt a need to go into them for a reason haha When I feel triggered by stuff like that, I just sit with it. For me, it's typically something either from my childhood, a truth I hadn't wanted to look at, or just feeling out of my depth (hello, whole new world to think about/learn about/ explore!). Add in the fact it relates to parenting, there's a lot there to feel triggered by. It sounds like you're doing great! Like I said in the pinned comment on this video, take what feels right, leave what doesn't. Your kids chose you for a reason! The fact you're thinking about this stuff, thinking about how you respond, etc. shows how great of a mama you already are! Don't stress! It's funny you said the word empathy though! I took an ENTIRE CLASS on JUST empathy in college! It's SO nuanced and there's so much too it. There's a great Brene Brown explainer video it I used to always show clients you might like: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1Evwgu369Jw.html And I agree on the awkward job of the recovery in Max and Nana. I think the writer's did the best the could, as do most children's books authors. I chose these 3 books, because I DO LOVE THEM, and it think they did a good job showcasing how we can like a book overall, but still have learning moments within them. My daughter loves pointing out the bandaid too! I hope it gets a rewrite and they put emphasis on acknowledging that instead of the other stuff on that page!
@@confidentlymom thanks! 💛 it’s interesting how I just recently have been reevaluating our books and am holding off on some until he’s 3-6. Just because of the fantasy/ pretend aspect or the story not aligning with my values. I’ve donated or given some books away. I just read The Whole Brain Child, so hopefully i can still re-teach him what he’s accidentally learned and that it hasn’t made a lasting impression. Thx for making me feel like I’m not the only one that takes these things seriously. 💛
How is it that you don’t have 17373738 million subscribers!🤩… your channel has become my bible to choose toys and activities for my little 3 months old.
OMG You are SO sweet! Thank you!! Especially on this video lol Stay tuned because my baby content for 0-6 months is starting to roll out in the next few weeks! My son just turned 3 months 😀 LMK if there's anything you want to see though! I'll definitely include some baby activities in my holiday video (I didn't for my Halloween one coming out tomorrow since he's still so little) since he'll be closer to 6 months!
That’s great! That’s exactly my point, it’s validating and solves an existing problem. For those who don’t have that problem it can create it. It’s still a good book for everyone to enjoy, just to be aware of where your kid is at and adapt accordingly! 💗
I literally glued the pages together in that book!! Just the other day I pulled them apart to reveal zoe getting water in her eyes, but only because my toddler has decided by herself that she HATES water in her eyes, so I figured she could just relate now 😂 it's been on our bookshelf and remained one of her favorites since the day we got it
I love your playkit reviews generally… you make a couple good points in this video (specifically around the Max and Nana book), but overall this video is a miss for me… this is not the way child development works, at all.
Definitely not meant to cause anxiety! I hope you read the pinned post too! I think it's just about recognizing where and how behavior is formed and this is often overlooked -so through that lense it's meant to be empowering since you know books can be an incredibly helpful tool to bring in more of what you want, and also a culprit if a random problem arises (i.e. water in the eyes). You definitely won't damage your kid for reading random books - it may just make somethings easier or more challenging, and you can bring awareness with that and correct from there
I love your videos. But this one scared and confused me. I don't understand how to find children's books that are "neutral" and am very overwhelmed by the concept of ruining my child's perception of the world by reading the wrong books. I would have found examples of "neutral books" very helpful. I feel like the branch of topic about emotional intelligence was a little too much for this video that focused specifically on books. It kind of went against everything I've learned about children's emotions. Just because children can innately recognize emotions in others does not mean that they can recognize them in themselves or that they know how to handle and process them. How do we handle intense emotions in young children without some sort of teaching of emotional intelligence? I would love a video from you specifically about that because I am truly confused. I hope you take my comment as nothing more than a sincere desire to understand/a little constructive criticism. Hope you and baby are doing well in your last stretch of your pregnancy! 😊
I appreciate the disclaimer lol - Trust me I'm sure you're not alone. I know it was a lot to take in! It was a lot to try to sort and organize explain over a decades work in this area into a video and not feel like a crazy person for sharing such an overlooked/not talked about perspective. Since I probably won't get to a video on emotional intelligence on kids for a while here's what I will say: 1) DO NOT STRESS! You will 100% NOT ruin your child's perception of the world by reading the "wrong" books. Like I said, we still read ALL the books in this video. This was just about showing how to be more mindful of the books we're reading and making small tweaks as you notice stuff and paying more attention to how certain books may be impacting your child's behavior (e.g. the water in the eyes for my daughter) There's a follow up video I want to do to this someday about reprogramming the subconscious mind. 2) Like I said in the video, RARE is the truly neutral book - adults write from their bias. I did not include examples because this video was long as it was and I already talked about the types of books we choose in the first. Generally speaking though, it's rhyming books, books about an animal my daughter is interested in at the moment, or a fantasy type book since we are okay with that in our house. 3) How we handle intense emotions in young children is exactly what I said in the video: we emotionally regulate ourselves in the moment of the big emotion. We teach kids to process and identify their emotions by modeling it within ourselves in real time situations. I think books can be helpful if the child is ALREADY experiencing the challenging emotion like I said in the video, but I wouldn't introduce something trying to teach emotional intelligence on a topic until I knew for sure my child needed the support with it. If it's more of a small/moderate emotion we just observe (neutrally) what we are seeing. "Oh you fell down. I see you're crying now." Most of the "caretaking" is in the nonverbal of that. Just witnessing them.You could stop there if that feels right. If it feels like more is needed I usually do 1 of 2 things: A) Say I'm here if you need anything and sit eye level with her or b) ask a clarifying question (though I would NOT do that in the middle of a BIG emotion since it can trigger more, just when it's more pouty/whiney), but saying something like "it seems like you're upset, is that right?" To circle back to the intense emotions thing: after the moment has passed (we've emotionally regulated ourselves, sat on their level, held space for them), we can talk with them about it. But it's basically the same approach: "I saw (describe situation) happen and then you (insert what behaviors you observed), that seemed like it was a lot for you in the moment. That happens to me too sometimes." Some kids will start retelling the story from there and give you all the information you need to respond next. It's just about witnessing, reflecting, and validating. As they get older the conversation could go a million different ways from there. You can ask them what they felt. You could ask them if there was something that would've helped the situation. At the end of the day, your kids chose you for a reason, there's no perfect parent, no unscathed kid, no perfect book for every family, etc. Like I said, this is just what I personally avoid and why. And I don't perfectly stick to it all the time. We just do the best we can.
After watching this video I realized that I’m really looking forward to baking with my kid, but that most recipes use a lot of refined sugar and this could end up doing more harm than good! I’d love more videos on healthy refined-sugar-free recipes that kids can help out with, without the fear of normalizing white sugar.
Yes! So we typically use medjool dates (get them at Costco in a big 1 pound box in the produce section usually near the apples/lemons/etc) or maple syrup! Just focus on unrefined whole foods is what we do. My go to chocolate chip cookie recipe is: 1 can organic chickpeas 1/3 cup maple syrup 1-2 dates (soaked in warm water for a few min) or you can use 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract 1/2 cup peanut butter or sunflower butter if nut free 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon baking powder blend it in a high speed blender or food processor (since I'm tandem nursing both kids now, I also add 1/3 cup of rolled oats for my milk supply!) Beyond that my daughter loves these muffins: www.yummytoddlerfood.com/favorite-yogurt-muffins-6-ways/#recipe (I did pear and honey for one of the mix ins to help her go to the bathroom too) And other really good cleaner baking resources: detoxinista.com/ rachlmansfield.com/
I got really confused about the brain waves stuff, to be honest 😅😅😅 But I really liked this video! It's sooo hard to find "perfect" books! We can always tweak the text a bit, but sometimes people give books with distorted ugly cartoony characters. Oooh I specially hate those 😵
Hey. I have been wondering for a while now, where is the line between allowing a child to process an emotion and redirecting them? I'm not sure both are applicable to the same situations, but I fail to understand when to let my child just be upset and when to redirect their attention so they don't get upset in the first place.
Wow, this is so helpful, every parent should watch this video of yours❤thank u!! For me same for 'monsters' and dragons and creatures that don't exist in the books, there is just no point to buy these books, there are so many great real life alternatives, or real animal creatures, the fake characters just scare children up to the point where they are afraid to sleep alone, or look under the bed. I 'll never understand parents who buy these books. Imagination can be stimulated with real life scenarios and real life people and animals.
Omg this video is amazing!!! I thought I was crazy LOL. My husband sometimes sees me like I’m crazy 🤣, but then when something I predicted happens he is like whaaaat? 🤣🤣🤣. There is also a very amazing episode from Simplicity parenting podcast about books and what type of books present to kids. My mind was blown away, he is super extreme about choosing books I totally recommend that one. I mean his whole podcast is amazing
Now that Lovevery has the book subscription add on is there any chance of you doing a video reviewing all of the Lovevery books and pointing out which ones are more neutral and which ones potentially have problematic parts like the few you pointed out here?
If they send them to me I would! But I'm not going back to buy them all since my daughter's kind of past the stage for most of them... With that said, I doubt there's anything concerning in the under 1 year old books - the only book I think may have something concerning from our personal values perspective is the dentist book based on some IG stories I saw them share while making it a over a year ago. I've found the "story" books that come in the 3-4 year old kits to be really good overall and am guessing the new books follow a similar flow.
