Hi from South Africa. My husband had an emotional affair years ago and I was distraught, I was crying and hysterical but I looked up and caught a glimpse of him smiling... I went bonkers because for the first time I realised he enjoyed my hurt. They are evil to the core. Demonic and satanic. But God had the last laugh
I pay attention to how my body reacts to a person. If a person makes me uncomfortable for any reason then I won’t open up to them. I will keep an eye on them until I know why. Yes, if I get a feeling right away that I don’t trust someone then I will remain cautious around them.
Yes. There’s a new girl at my office .. we have to share our work spaces often . The new girl would leave it dirty at the end of the day, use personal property without asking .. just giving off a totally selfish vibe. I’ve noticed she’s overly nice & likes to interject in other’s conversations. I warned my co worker that I’m very friendly with .. watch out for her. She’s already showing us who she really is , the niceness is fake. The old me would’ve made excuses , or gave her the benefit of the doubt . I don’t do that anymore . Genuinely normal kind people are considerate of other people’s things, & are considerate. I avoid her and pretty much keep the conversation to good morning , and have a good night when I leave . We don’t need others to affirm our observations and discernment. We’ve learned the hard way . Yes , listen to your body . That is very wise .
Definitely. Move away from justifying and just go with feelings. Feelings are valid and anyone who tries to convince you you don't feel the way you do, are trying to control you
My best friend's sister is toxic. We were at a dinner party and she became very dominant toward me while exhibiting false sympathy for "something we both have." (A big birthday coming up.) She made two assumptions. One that I was her age, and two that nobody could see through her tactics to humiliate me. I turned it back on her while using humour and deliberately being vague and not answering her pointed questions. Everyone laughed and best friend's husband quickly turned the conversation. She hasn't tried anything since (it's been 11 years) Bullies don't like strong targets.
I'm totally fed up with these parasitic entities. I have experienced and lived these creatures and with the help of these informative video's I'm able to recognize them very early on! Thank you. Unfortunately, empaths fist have to experience these creatures in order to understand they are real! Teenagers aren't told these basics in psychology at school and there's a reason for that: humanity is controlled by power hungry parasites.
4:13 I am a Licensed Massage Therapist of 10 years and I have several clients that fit these descriptions exactly. One young lady in particular comes into my dimly-lit room with warm scents in the air, soft calming music and her presence is like a tornado coming through a China shop. Her voice is incredibly LOUD. Her movements with her arms and hands are WILD and dramatic; waving all over the place. She gets in my space while speaking loud and leaves little room for me to.speak back. I have worked with her for 3 years and my gut feels uneasy and discouraged just knowing she's coming in for a session. It's never changed. She's an emotional and energetic drain every single time.
@CarrieLovesLife. I'd love to hear more about how you decide to let go of someone in that kind of work scenario. I'm a home carer and I've got to watch out for energy drainers whether coworkers or clients
@@Isabelmaryj I have had to say to clients: "We are not a good match. You will need to find someone else." I will not work with people if I feel uncomfortable around them, for whatever reason.
I know someone who has been good to me but somehow i feel this uneasy feeling, like I have to protect my energy around her, i feel bad because i have no reason to feel that strongly about her presence but i do
In my experience I’ve noticed a narcissist doesn’t respond to yawns like most people do. When most people see someone yawn they can’t help but yawn as well, where a narcissist doesn’t even notice.
I m with you it’s exactly the little things like that I have learned from you are right on and you will pick a few more so love and strength to you in a friend way we can help each other just by learning from each other WE HAVE A COMMON ENEMY SO LETS LAUGH TOGETHER 😂🤣😅 just you recognising something different from me has added to my knowledge so thank you 😊 and thank you again
I know a narcissistic predator that fake yawns a lot to draw in sympathetic people. It works for him like a charm. I was a victim of it but don’t fall for it when we’re in groups anymore. But, people still clamor to him to see why he’s so tired….oh, you poor man working so hard, your wife won’t let you sleep, you do everything, ect. They don’t know that his wife does EVERYTHING while he prowls. He’s wealthy because of her families money….that put him through school, purchased their massive home…. So, be careful of their tricks. They like looking like the victim!
Please do a contrast video of defensive behaviors of people living with cPTSD / PTSD. Some people have learned survival strategies to not get hurt or draw attention to themselves. Neuroatypical individuals are a prime example of this. It is okay to be human, to be different, to be weird, to not make sense. What is not okay is getting a rise out of hurting others. I think the eyes tell all. One method I use to sniff out who true friends are: show weakness. A predator will delight in going in for the kill in some way. A true friend will protect & defend.
Once I have their number (strongly suspect them of being a narc) I always treat them as invisible or incidental to the scene, NEVER the center of my attention. It hurts a narc deeply and they mostly avoid me and send their flying monkeys to deal with me.
I'll never forget the gut feelings I got right before the narc discarded me. I went up and gave them a hug and it felt like an electric shock. I could literally feel in my body that they didn't want me to hug them and the hidden contempt they had for me. Even though I was on guard from that moment on, it still wasn't enough to save me from the painful gaslighting discard. I wonder how the narc felt when they sent me a heartfelt letter saying I was a good friend and that they made a mistake and they were wrong, admitting to a mental problem they now have, and asking me to talk to them again. They got no response. I'll never speak to someone again who was so willing to hurt me because they wanted what they wanted.
Yes, as long as you can still feel into your own instincts - which can become more difficult after all the cognitive dissonance one experiences with a narcissist. They can wear you down so that you can begin to distrust yourself, especially if you get sucked into their ‘false’ reality.
I agree Got to pull the weeds in your nerve garden first. That old weed been Chewing up space. A way to drop a memory is to see the thing happen in your minds eye while you are 20 feet away Watching it happen With your mind see a golden beam from you to the event Look at the beam. Not the memory Make the beam turn to rain drop and watch it fall to the ground , watch it soak into the ground . When you look up at the memory 20 feet away from the real you , It will be gone. And if done correctly. You will not be able to r Remember their event . I used this technique On a 6 grade bully fight I think But I can’t rember for the life of me Honest. So when you pull the weeds new good stuff grows in its place Takes a bit of practice but you can do it It’s a new world and the esoteric dirt is washed away . Fingers too big for editing periods and comas. Deal with it
Narcissists are often very aware of their position. They cant not be aware, if they use it actively. I don't use sympathetic body posture as a test, it's a defense. Stand strong and not afraid of a narcissist. I don't trust them, but being a stronger survivor of a narc parent, I don't tolerate these adult children. The best test to use with a narc, is to take them on a deep conversation. Narcissists want to dominate the conversation, and can't stand conversations that they arent the center of. They will often interject a non-sequitur to derail the conversation. Narcissists are afraid of being wrong or being seen as foolish, leading them to engage in foolish behaviors like defending an objectively wrong statement. When it comes to the gaze thing, practice holding your own stare in the mirror. My narc father forced me to maintain eye contact with him as a child. It makes you more resistant to Narc bullshit. Don't tolerate these vampires, stand up to them, most can't really hurt you, they are just bullies.
~I’ve had one literally chase me around a room trying to get me to look into his eyes -which I knew better than to do. The eyes are the window to the soul, -they Do (my guides have told me) “suck out your brain, replacing it with/ Yours. You may notice a sudden fuzziness, a pressure in your head -perhaps suddenly can’t see as well -certainly can’t focus. Sound like a brain suck to you? SLUUURRRRRP!! If you want or need to look in someone’s eyes -ONLY LOOK INTO THEIR LEFT EYE!! You can do this, they Won’t be able to see that you’re doing this. There IS an energy exchange -that -You Don’t want.
I had a former friend that if we started talking, I could put the phone down for 10+ minutes and he'd still be talking to himself. I'll I would have to say would be wow, really, oh yeah, and then he could talk to himself about whatever for a long time. Eventually he caught on I wasn't paying attention and became upset with me. I told him I've heard that story too times before or it was bs and boring.
There are also people with autism who have a hard time keeping eye contact and then start to stare for a while etc. I find it a bit difficult to figure out if someone’s a narc just by blinking patterns etc, because there are so many other mental illnesses that cause similar behavior, or?
As an autistic person I also thought the first one was tricky because I wouldn’t notice the mirror test if someone tried it on me and I’d be confused but unoffended if that same person then decided to leave the room all of a sudden
an autistic person staring is frequently, for me at least, an awareness that I struggle with eye contact, and I'm supposed to do it more, but not knowing how long it's supposed to last.
I'm autistic and I think the overlap of body language anomalies both come from places of difficulty processing empathy, or processing it differently than neurotypicals do. Obviously, not every autistic person is Cluster B and vice versa, and it's been documented that survivors of narcissist abuse, as a result of trauma, may also adopt reactionary mannerisms from their time around a narcissist. With the rise of RU-vid talking about Cluster B disorders, I've had to learn all about them because so many more people are mistaking autism for being a narcissist or a sociopath/psychopath. Now there are even more things I have to avoid doing and be aware of now because they had some hidden meaning I didn't know existed about predatory personality traits. It's exhausting.
Okay…I’m going to guess this one BEFORE I dive in… They slow blink. Like cats, right? Because cats are narcissists. They come along, love-bomb you, adopt you…then all of a sudden your whole house is their territory. And they bring these little “presents” for you like they’re just doing so much work. But it always comes back to you having to feed them, you having to pet them, you having to provide them a litter box and clean up after them. Everything always revolving around them. Oh and only wanting attention on their terms, on their schedule. It’s their method of discard and hoovering! Yeah, I see right through you little monsters!
@@kenshirogenjuro873nah, Cats are actual Gods, while narcs are deluded that they're Gods. Also, "have to pet them" lol its not a job you have to do, its showing affection to each other.
The reason I fell for a narc was precisely because his body language told me he loved me. I realised that he talked strange things early, but I told myself, well the body can't lie. He was always so open towards me. But the truth is, it can lie. So, don't think you can interpret body language easily. That is dangerous
Yes! It can be studied and projected quite easily. Literally the irony here is she's using ACTORS PLAYING A ROLE! These are literally examples of how people can fake body language
And you have to think /feel: who is mirroring who ? Remember they are experts in their field - and we may still be innocent novices kindly giving others an empathic benefit it the doubt.
So true always feel uneasy , “knot in stomach “ or just off when around or talking to a narcissist! Covert is much different but your instincts will never lie!
This technique will be nearly impossible to apply in real conversation unless you have the other person recorded. Conversations are very engaging for me. I'm a very good listener. I cannot imagine instead of listening to the other person, I calculate how they blink and how I blink. If the other person doesn't even notice my mental "absence", that in itself will be a red flat.
It’s a tricky one, because remember, concerning ‘body language’ and eye contact.. it could feel ‘wrong’ or awkward.. but they might be autistic not narcissistic… some huge struggles with body language and eye contact or ways of self expression with people on the autism spectrum!!..
Yes, I was thinking that as I listened to her. I often mis-match my feeling and my expression. Being autistic, if you ask me about my feeling, I become the observer and lose grasp of how I am actually feeling. I don't like eye contact, and my body language can be a yoyo of expressions without much meaning.
@@mudotterI do hope you can be more cautious about what info you share online... This is a great channel and the sharing facility is most helpful but it's still an "open" arena... there is no truly safe space. The advice to "keep one's own counsel" does have a point. Take care ya.
The thing is they will often expose themselves really quickly. The covert narcissist I'm thinking of will use all sorts of manipulative tactics to get me to meet up wtih him (citing the derath of a relative, his depression, missing his gf despite refusing to move in with her having everything in place to do so, and a lot of other sappy things he thinks he can still trick me with. The moment you meet up with him his conversation is nothing close to those concerns he expressed and it all turns to grievances, negativity, and money.
For the first sign, this has been so obvious, but I didn't realize this was a symptom of her narcissism. If we meet walking down the hallway, I move to one side expecting her to move to the other. She won't. I'll have to press against the wall or she'll bump into me. The second sign she does anytime she "apologizes". It's never felt sincere and that's why. Her body language was telling me she wasn't really sorry. Hence the vague apology with no specifics. For the third sign, I'm not convinced. I struggle with eye contact. Mostly because of my low self esteem. If I make eye contact, it feels like a staring contest and I lose every time. I've honestly not noticed what my wife does, but I can see how someone with social anxiety could be mistake as a narcissist if eye contact is the test.
There are narcissistic tendencies, but also some overlap when you consider ASD, influence of trauma, etc. But...If someone is a self important d-bag that maneuvers everything to be about them, or makes it about someone else to rack up debt and gain (covert), trust your This Doesn't Feel Good feelings
The different athletic coaches at my high school persistently avoided eye contact with each other. When I was a boy I could tell that they disliked each other very much even though all of them were nice to everyone else. It was eerie.
Thank you Meadow, I come in contact with many people throughout the day. I think your advice is perfect for when their is a potential relationship in the making, whether personal or business. Recognizing narcissism is like a jigsaw puzzle. The first piece doesn't reveal the picture. But over time with each piece, the picture becomes clear, whether you have a beautiful picture or a monster. Sometimes it doesn't take many pieces to see what you have. Thank you for your RU-vid channel. I always learn something new. 😃🙏
Thankyou for making these videos. You are pleasent and dignified. I know you went through quite the journey to get where you are and I want to encourage you because it is so helpful.
Thanks, that helps. I can remember back at some awkward conversations with people you’re wondering about and finishing up quick with what ever, then ask them questions because somethings wrong and if still no answers then just let go. Some people might be hungry, thirsty, something on theirs mind, I am triggering them in some way.but it gets more obvious when you notice lack of response. Next time I see them, if I can remember them, I remember not to engage with them.
I have a daughter who comes to visit and uses my things without asking to use them. She challenges my use of things like fake sugar as though I am being foolish for using it. She speaks to my husband while I am in the room and looks only at him as though he is the only one in the room. She praises him and subtly demeans me so effectively that my husband doesn't notice. Or, he does notice and doesn't want to admit it because our daughter is his favorite. I thank God she lives a long ways away and only visits one time a year.
When people have very hooded eyes and the eyelid pushes against their lashes, it can cause excessive blinking. Trauma can also lead to excessive blinking
I’ve known a narcissist for 40 years her eyes hood very slightly when lying especially when being challenged over actions she thought l didn’t know about it’s taken time to learn but if you can bail out sooner than later only thing l was glad of was being there for my kids but in hindsight l falsely believed that I would not be able to see them
Before I left staying at my 2nd oldest brothers’ house as it was intolerable, I took pictures of all the pictures he had of himself which were everywhere going back to high school and he was now retired .. the look was exactly the same .. giant smile but the eyes did not match the smile whatsoever .. demon eyes while the smile was the distraction
I've studied narcissism for years and what I've come to understand is that all everyone has narcissism to a certain extent due to the generational trauma almost everyone experienced especially if you live in America. Victims aka empaths are covert narc's because they have messiah complex and try to fix everyone through their self perceived "specialness" which makes them feel superior because they are so intuned with others they loose themselves in paranoia about narc's, when in actuality it's a response to unhealed cpsd and therefore hyperfixation for threat detection and mirroring, tuning, and shrinking to their perceived abusers which can be anyone that they deem has characteristics of there childhood parents, bullies, etc. Empathy is used often as a tool for covert/malignant narc's because it satisfies there need to be perceived as good and innocent, which is why there are always pointing out the bad ones forgetting that they too have a shadow side and what you see in others is a reflection of you in the mind of GOD. Freedom from the Narc/Empath polarity loop requires letting go of being a victim and stepping into being whole and that means releasing the need to find fault in others as a way to establish a identity as "Being good or innocent " we all have flaws and always will and coming to terms with that heals both sides of the polarity. Because shame and guilt and a desire to feel safe and lovable are at the root of both narc's and empaths. Remember if you are in a polarity, you have to experience the other in order to exist as either. Stepping out of that brings peace and agency to live a life in harmony. Hope this helps someone like it helped me. Forgive and trust yourself enough to heal without making someone/something the reason you don't.
I just notice they do this thing where its like they're intensely scanning your face. Like the convo is just whatever and they're trying really hard to find something, switching between your eyes and mouth in a way that feels like they're judging you, not that judging is bad everyone needs to make judgements, but its looks like they're almost disgusted while scanning your face. The convo itself is certainly alot on the mechanical side but not in the same way of autists. Autistics always have a chill kinda blankness about them, compared to the narcs looking negatively judgy
The average individual blinks 16 to 18 times per minute. However, this number may increase if the person is not telling the truth. For this reason, during interrogations, it is common to have two interrogators present: one to ask the questions and the other to count the blinks. You may have fun counting the blinks of your favorite politician during his/her speech. 🤣
Direct eye contact can go against norms within certain cultures. In some, looking at someone directly in the eye is considered rude. One would only look at someone directly if a very important point were to be made.
This is so incredibly helpful, thank you! I appreciate the 'for instances' you give also to clarify. I definitely feel like I'm navigating this personality type at work. It's interesting because I feel like your tips are in sync with some of my own instinctive responses and alertness so that's a positive! lol. Thank you again!
I'm just thinking about the mismatch of body language vs. What is said. I do this sometimes, but it's because I'm hiding emotional pain. I don't want to bring others down. I think a lot of people do this, though. Wanting to be pleasant but feeling depressed. Expressions of disdain might be easier to detect for narcissism, but a cold expression might be a depressed mood. Hard to say for sure.
The Norman Bates style of eye contact avoidance is also going to be exhibited by people with Autism who are not at all trying to manipulate the conversation, so it's important not to rely too heavily on this type of body language to establish whether or not someone is a Narcissist. Just because it makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean the other person has bad intentions. Neurodivergent people don't always even realize they need to look people in the eye, and neurodivergents who have been trained to make eye contact might do it too often or too intensely because it's not natural to them. It's important to keep in mind that this type of body language isn't always malicious.
24 years with my covert narc 2020 was my year spiritual I waited to see if he would nope. So I started looking for why. He told me I was crazy to sensitive to emotional so I have learned to control my emotions so he doesn’t turn they against me. We have been on repeat for past 2 years arguing 2 weeks then loving 2 weeks. I am 52 going through menopause too. So my sexual desire is not the same and he isn’t happy thinks he is supposed to have sex daily. Thinks I am supposed to start it every time. I stopped he is not happy. I am trying to figure out what I need to do it’s hard with being together so long. He says I am pushing him away I think my soul knows. I love him but don’t get same love bad he thinks sex is love I told him love is much more than just sex . Thanks for sharing ❤
I jave a nad nexk and dind focusing gaze causes pain so i tend not to look people in the eyes in conversation, however i listen and engage fully. No manipulation at all. Do we have to validate others with eye contact? Surely people should take responsibility for there self esteem?
I have known people that would degradate themselves to other people because they do not want to be alone. Men will isolate himself from children from a previous marriage so he can get along with his present wife because she is worried about where the money is going. I have seen women tell thier 16 year old daughters to leave the household because her new husband did not want her there yet he didnt even pay for the home
I see manipulation. I havent learned to recognize when manipulation is dangerous to me, it seems so common. I dont know when theyre hiding something theyre embarrassed of, or if theyre hiding some malicious intention against me.
A lot of this is problematic in that it will lead people to flag neurodiverse people who are masking or have trouble with eye contact. I mean really problematic. Please check out the double empathy problem and learn about it.
My ex (a 60yo covert) used to walk just about on top of me when walking “next to”me. It was WEIRD. I made him stop. - He would turn away while talking to me and talk towards the opposite direction. Clearly disrespectful. • I’d say “I’m tired of talking to the back of ur head” so he’d hv to the around or I wouldn’t be there. - When talking face to face, he’d turn enough so his eyes were looking elsewhere. • I’d say “I think u may be on the spectrum, u can’t look at me (for long)” I do think that. - But ohhhh could he when shrieking at me almost every day. We fought a LOT. • He’s left 1 month ago (w/ a BANG ofc), and I couldn’t be happier. Best wishes, next victim.
Here's my sign that someone is a narc-- can't look me in the eyes w/o developing a non stop twitch in their right eye! If they look away-- twitching stops. I should tell u I have strong psychic powers--among which I can hear others thoughts. People 's words rarely match their thoughts! It's kind of funny to see such frustrated narcs trying so hard to look me in the eyes & not blink non-stop! I also have a phd in psychology --so I also rely on my knowledge of the human mind from my many yrs as a psychologist. Good video! It's sadly getting to the point that very few people can even look me in the eyes anymore! Everyone needs to know the signs that narcs display. There are so many variants to learn! Good luck out there! Stay aware & safe!
I would be cautious to judge whether someone is a narcissist based on eye contact. People who avoid eye contact or have erratic eye contact may also just be neurodivergent! While I'm sure it is possible to be both narcissist and neurodivergent. I don't think it's super common (I would have to look up statistics) and it would be a shame to unfairly label people narcs who are just ASD / ADHD.
Is there are sort of narcissist that is overly warm and enthusiastic and always smiling but they somehow never remember to bring that bottle of wine or desert they promised to the dinner you always cook (and you always find yourself cooking what they want because "you are the best cook ever") , they become super excited to choose the movie that you are both going to watch saying "you are going to love this" (but somehow it is never your turn to choose) they spread themselves over the chair and warmly offer you a corner as if it is an honour to be near them but somehow hog the space and sit on it like its a throne but then abruptly end the meal because although its been "amazing" they suddenly remember they have urgent work they need to finish , leaving you feeling oddly empty (and with all the dishes to do on your own) but they are going to make it up to you next time (but they never do)....and you give give give and they take take take and seem put-upon and annoyed if you ask where is the wine or beer or desert they were going to bring or ask when you are going on that picnic they promised with the "super amazing view" that they can't wait to show you...2 months later I am still waiting for my birthday present they keep leaving behind even though "its amazing" and I'm going to love it ! ....what is that behaviour ?
This it TRUE 💯, my ex husband malignant covert demon of a man, narcissist did this exactly the way you e described it. I though it was odd first time , but it’s confusing trance like .. Grandeous nrcs not as dangerous as COVERT DEMONs
To be honest, I was as well for a very long time. Now I don't see this as 'manipulative tactics' I see it as strength to help protect the people I love.
I've been experiencing this with a pair of Narcissistic neighbours. I'm noticing a strange dynamic where a Covert type is easily able to manipulate the Overt type.
@@trudibarraclough478 The Covert Narc Neighbour is unbelievably sadistic. I don't think the other neighbours are aware? The Covert is able to manipulate the Overt type. I see a pecking order among them. They're totally deranged.
My brain would have to double in processing ability to be able to do and consider all of this while holding a conversation. Shoot - just to notice half of this stuff actually. 😣 I'm supposed to notice how the other person blinks?
When ur around one enough all this is so familiar you don’t need to stop + think. It’s so obvious (unfortunately) it’s like watching a zebra have stripes. U can’t miss it.
Wow I never know that ? Wen hubby n me go out he tends to jump in best seat even tho he knows I've got back problems but always near were lots girls or women on own ? N then if I try sit nxt to him hel spread his legs n purposely spread himself along the seat ? So I carnt sit nxt to him .
Interesting with body language, yes i pick up certain body language.. apparently its not a science as such its a pusdo science... I don't think it is..
Nex will scan people to size them up. He is normally loud and boisterous to get attention. We he meets someone new or is telling a big lie he uses a very controlled voice pattern and tone. He stares with a very low blink rate. He gives no body language and no facial affect with one exception. His nostrils flare to indicate a weakness or flaw in whoever he is assessesing or when he lies. He's like a robot. Usually done on men.
Before I left staying at my 2nd oldest brothers’ house as it was intolerable, I took pictures of all the pictures he had of himself which were everywhere going back to high school and he was now retired .. the look was exactly the same .. giant smile but the eyes did not match the smile whatsoever .. demon eyes while the smile was the distraction
