4 Helpful Rules for Discernment 

Door #4 has been really important for me in my journey. For a large period of my life, I thought that God's desires were an entirely different thing from my own desires. Practically speaking, this meant that God's will for me was normally something that I didn't want or desire and would be painful for me, as if doing God's will meant to deny who I am and what I want. This couldn't be further from the truth. As I've grown in my relationship with God and in Christian maturity, I've discovered that God's will for me is already written on my heart. If I am honest, and I sit before the Lord in prayer and ask him about an important decision in my life, I normally discover in the deepest depths of my heart a desire already present for the the choice God is inviting me to make. Another way of saying it is that my deepest desires are themselves God's invitation to walk through the door. Great video as always Fr Mike! Thanks for the moment to stop and reflect on the Christian Life.

Wow....I just can't believe.. bang on right time!!!!!

Thinking of all those things plus having a conversation with God will lead you to where you are meant to be in life

You have NO idea how much this helped me in a decision I was struggling with. Thank you!

Timing/Courting- Marriage: Fr. Mike, how do you discern the Call and When to start?

1. Is this a good/neutral door? (God has not already spoken out against it) 2. Is this an open door? (The "door" has not already told me no and I could actually walk through it) 3. Is this a wise door? (Think now. Will this help me live the life and be the person God wants me to be) 4. Is this a door that I want? (Free will)

Great advice, Fr. Mike. I personally like to add going to confession and receiving the Eucharist before making a decision thereby leaving my whole heart open and being connected to God without any hindrance.

Good, open, wise, desired I like it

I was confused for so long about my vocation. I knew that I wouldn’t make a good mother but I was scared of the other options. Finally, God spoke to my heart and deep down I knew that I was called to be a religious. It took me a little while to used to the idea, but after a couple of days I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and joy!

Ah yes, yet another video that I need to hear. Totally not coincidental. Thanks for the video!

Augustine defines evil as disordered love, and good as rightly ordered love: loving God with the love of adoration, our neighbors with charity, and the things of the world with moderation, to use them but not give our whole hearts to them. We are to use things and love persons, not use persons and love things. We are to adore God and use creatures, not adore creatures and try to use God. That's rightly ordered love.

My wife uses T.H.I.N.K (True, helpful, inspirational, necessary, kind) to tell my daughters how to discern what to say to others. It is interesting to see how there are some commonalities between what you are saying and this.

Ahhh perfect timing. SUCH a good video. So much wisdom. My weekly bit of spiritual direction ❤

One thing I'd like to point out is that the seminary, even with a shortage of priests, isn't always the best door for everyone

I know Fr. Mike directs his ministry at young adults, but I'm 47 and always get so much out of what he has to say. I'm in the process of trying to discern God's will for me in a volunteer role. This is helpful. Thank you.

1. Is it good or evil? 2. Is it even available to you? 3. Is it wise, knowing yourself? 4. Is it what you want? This forth door: this last door can be many. But if you walked through the other doors, then you can choose anything and God will be waiting on the other side

Thank you father Mike!!! I was looking for something like this :) I was stressing out about making choices in my life and at the same time doing God’s will. Then it hit me that I was actually not wanting the responsibility of making a choice (indecisiveness) so I wanted to let God handle it. Now I know I have to work and pray harder to be responsible for what I want to pursue, being confident that my Lord will be on the other side of the door I choose to open. This just brought peace to my heart, and I feel happier about my future and enthusiastic about God’s plans for my family. “Oh Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything”.

I can't discern, I have very poor capacity to apply common sense in life and a series of bad choices haunt me.

I have a lot of discerning that I will be facing soon in my life. I am applying to Doctorate programs in psychology (I actually interview with a school tomorrow) and I am going to be in a lot of debt and not be able to have an income for 4 years while in the program. I need to discern whether or not it is in God's will for me to enter into the military in order to pay off my tuition and when I should get married so that I can provide for my wife and possibly new-born child while still in school. I am very scared but I know that God will take care of me. Sorry I know that was ranty and an un-asked for load of personal matters but I needed to say (write) it.

You’ve just made a weight on my heart feel a little lighter Father!!! Thank you!! ✝️❤️‍🔥🌹

At 5:00 I almost began to cry. I feel suddenly so enlightened and relieved about decisions, not just current ones but past ones. Never knew really, or never appreciated, that my desire is an okay part of the equation (even though I've always told my kids who are young adults now, "Sometimes God's will and your own desires match; it's not like God's will is always going to be opposite of yours or necessarily hard.") (Seems like I can take my own advice, but I never realized that until I heard Fr. Mike say it just now!) And it is so liberating to know that between two choices, both can be good. Being "choices" doesn't necessarily mean they are diametrically opposed ipso facto, nor that if they are opposed one is 'bad' and the other 'good'. They can both be good even if in apparent opposition. (Ex: Go to college or start a business? Get married or become a religious?) Wow, I am so relieved. I could cry. I mean it. I have struggled wondering if I made wrong or even "bad" choices in my youth, like if I totally missed God's signals and graces and maybe overlooked a decision God was pointing me to. But now I think I can be at peace with decisions I've made, stop wondering "what if?" and know that one or the other decision was good and that God is with me here. What a gift of peace I have just received. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit gives Fr. Mike the right words said in the right way! Yeeha~!

I am not afraid to take decisions, but I only ask God never lose my inner peace. Since inner peace grants me the self conviction that what I am doing is not only "what I want", but God is not against that decision, and it is this that grants me the courage, strength and determination to persist even when I know I must overcome obstacles and hardships by taking such decisions.

Thank you for this new information, it has help me in my 3 year long journey of constantly thinking what I should do in life, I'm 25 this year and I have been sitting around wondering what to do as my vocation and waiting for God to answer me because so many people tell me to just ask God if you're not sure, but many times I hear nothing back plus I'm still working on my listening skills with God. I was starting to worry for myself that maybe I am just not too sensitive to God's voice yet so it's harder for me to hear back from Him faster like the others. Anyways, your video helped me to realize that I can now do things as I want to do or had the thought to do, I put those decisions in life on pause because I just kept wanting to hear back from God first then only I'll make a move and decision, so thank you for reminding me that God had already told us He will be with me and all of us wherever we go in life, and He will let no harm fall on us but also highlighting the importance that free will is in my hands as well, whatever decisions I make it's all freewill, so I better make the best decision that I see fit and if there are things and paths where He doesn't want me to go, He will stop in me in His own ways but at least I won't be wondering around if any of those jobs fit me because I never bother to try and see it to the end, I'm going to stop my waiting season now and just move forward, wishing all those out there who are discerning and figuring out what they want to do in life, may God bless us all~ May we also learn to trust in Him to guide us and be there for us wherever we choose to go in life.

Father, what do I do if I feel like there aren't any possible doors for me to go through right now? I'm discerning the married life and priesthood currently. The religious orders I'm looking at require that I get a 4 year degree before applying, so I can't go through that door just yet. I want to start dating, but I can't find ANYONE that would be a good or wise fit for me. Everyone just seems to want hookups, not an actual Christ centered relationship. What should I do? Should I take a step back and allow God to preset more doors to me while I'm waiting? I'm at a loss here, Father Mike.

Thank you for the door analogy! I do love our God because of these choices; one time a priest friend told me that what God wants for us is what it is already our deepest desire, and that I could recognize being in the right track towards it because of the peace and love and joy it would bring. And over the years I've found that to be true.

ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THIS VIDEO IN A TIME I REALLY NEEDED IT, THANKS SO MUCH , PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ARE A BLESSING TO ALL THOSE WHOSE HEART YOU TOUCH,, THE DOOR CONCEPT IS REALLY GOOD TO RELATE TO , HENCE UNDERSTOOD IT SO I CAN DECIDE.... THANK YOU FATHER MIKE!!!

I’m Brazilian, and I love your Chanel! God bless u a lot and Virgem Mary ❤️

When I have an important decision to make or help, I fast. Evening to evening I ask for guidance. Usually within a few days it is clear to my spirit something. If I feel I need more info I set ahead a day to fast AGAIN, maybe asking, “Lord how do I DO this?” Thirdly you can put a fleece before him to confirm what you think you understood, but don’t test or try the Lord. It never fails. Sometimes he shows me I have sin in the way, like priorities or attitude or I’ve offended someone, etc. so remove the obstacles to have his ear and hear. I always learn something. Lean in.

Thank You Fr.Mike, I was born Catholic and you are teaching me things I didn't even know! it has opened so many doors to happiness, I can't think of any way to thank you except saying, I Love you Brother!

I really struggle with discernment with my business and relationship decisions. I want to do God’s will at all times. But I do struggle with choices and will.

Thank you. I am wondering what my vocation is. I can't do much math but want to join the religious life and serve God, I just don't think I will be able to get through college l. I ask that you light a candle for me and pray for my vocation. I can't light one were I live. God bless you love you my brothers and sisters.

This was so helpful and something that I have been struggling with while at a cross-road in my life. Good, Open, Wise, Want ... prayer really does work!. Blessings.

"God Bless Us Father Mike"👴.

Can you do a video on celibacy? It's a rule by the cathlioc church that I've never understood and I can not imagine making that choice to be celibate and not have a family for your whole life.

Father Mike! Can I interview you for my Catholic Mommy RU-vid Channel?! I will be in MN (my home state visiting family) This summer! I think my Subs would love to see it! PS I missed the Catholic YT hangout and was so sad I had missed it but the video was great! Thank you

This advice resonates with me since I made the mistake of majoring in Chemistry and spent the last 4 years of college in total misery and socially isolated because I was also inept at making friends. I'll be graduating May, now I need to figure out how to get back on track.

Thank you for this advice! I have been trying to figure out where God wants me to be, but you helped me realize that I need to start taking more responsibility. You got yourself a new subscriber. God Bless!

thank you so much for this, this really helped me i’ve been so confused on discerning this certain thing in my life and this helped a lot thank you

Thanks Father. Wise words. Our Lady likes her priests to be dressed like priests. Great 👍

5:22 that's so sweet such a supportive and loving parent we have in God

Hi Father Mike, excellent video! I have a question about door #4.. I have a hard time knowing what's prideful and what's not so sometimes trying to choose what I want can be quite difficult. I struggle with scrupulosity and OCD as well and it makes decision making more difficult than it needs to be. How do I know the difference? Thank you!

Great video!. So comforting to know that even in mistakes and wrong decisions, God makes a way and is always with us. Thank you Fr. Mike.

Fr Mike, What do you think of the Traditional Latin Mass??

You don't have to wear the ettire to speak gospel.

thank you so much, this will definitely help me in making my decision for college. it was very helpful in splitting up the steps of making a decision. it was very insightful.

I Like YoUr message Brother I really really like they way explain to some who may not know and are reluctant to Chose GOD and His will. 1; I AM thy GOD, thou shall have No other GODS before Me.

Fr Mike, I love this talk, and it’s been so helpful for me in discerning and making decisions. I’m 39, and I wish I knew this when I was younger! Can you please do a video or direct me to one on how to discern for couples who want different things like moving or missions. Thank you!

Hey Fr Mike, please do a video about your opinion in physical exercises such as Yoga. Is that allowed in Catholic to do such practice? How do we maintain our body (physical and mental healthiness) as temple of God according to church teachings?

After spending hours on watching videos on YT how to find purpose in life, there is one of two videos that will stay with me for rest of my life. Thank you and Sole Deo Gloria

Excellent. I read Spiritual Consolation: An Ignatian Guide for Greater Discernment of Spirits, by Timothy Gallagher. It caused gears in my head and heart to engage; most for the first time. On a lighter note: I think Father Mike ought to record a marathon RU-vid vlog where he starts clean-shaven, and talks until a full beard grows in. My guess is it would take less than eight hours. (Forgive my humor!)

Very timely advice that I needed to hear right now, thank you.

Perfect timing again lol. I'm headed to a discernment retreat this weekend

As much as I miss the beard already, the message is just what I needed. Thanks Father Mike ☺

#askfrmike Dear Father Schmitz, I wish to place a comment on question #2 as I think it should be considered less significant compared to the other three. But, first of all, a sincere thank you for the ideas you're spreading! Your videos really help illuminate topics that, for me personally, have been lurking in the shadows for a long time. Keep up the good work!:-) This video offers helpful advice and it would be a shame to be misinterpreted. You've already touched upon the subject I'm proposing by stating "at least right now, it's a closed door". But in general, the way the message around answering question #2 came across was "if you don't have what it takes, don't waist energy on something". However, we read in Psalms 20: 4-5 "May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed". So should we not start first from #4 (What I want?) and use #1 (Is it good?) and #3 (Is it wise?) to discern (e.g. using Scripture, opinions of the priests & friends in faith) if my heart's desire comes from the God above or from the tempter and our flesh? And once we're confident the door we want to enter withstands the scrutiny of #1 and #3, ask our God to take care about #2, since we're ready whenever He is? For example, if we look at the life of St. John Vianney - the hurdles he had to overcome to become a priest! And what a loss would it be if he didn't... I just don't want someone to get discouraged in the face of adversity when realizing the answer to question #2 is "locked". And I also don't believe that was what you had in mind. Could you elaborate on that aspect a bit more? Thank you in advance! Kind regards, Vid

Father, You are a fountain following of of the Holy Spirit. In todays christian struggles you answer our deepest concerns. Also thank you for being so human. JMJ Bless you . . . Jeff

Thank you for this! This was very helpful while I’m deciding what vocation and career path I will pursue in my future!

This is awesome. Thank you! I'm a non-denominational Christian as opposed to Catholic Christian, and I attend a Pentecostal church. I hate hearing Christians bashing other denominations of the same faith, that is in the Holy Bible and Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Love your videos!

Thank you so much! I want to enter the convent, but it felt so presumptuous for me to want that, because I am so unworthy of it--and I've had the feeling that if I want it too much, that I am trying to push God to let me do it--that it's not His Will but MY will. This has clarified my thinking a lot.

This is very helpful thank you father Mike. I think I may have made a wrong choice on something, but I am beginning to understand God will be there through it all, and will put me back on track. I am very conflicted about two majors...I pray for some confirmation.

Great video father. Congratulations.

Thank you for your guidance and dedication to faith. Life is such a gift, and a miracle in itself.

Thank you for sharing this video. It means a lot to me. I think this is the answer that God wants me to hear. I've been wondering about what should I do with my life and often ask god "Just tell me what to do and I will do it" but its not leading me anywhere. With this I realised that maybe God wants me to choose by myself and He will accompany me along the way. Thank you so much

⥊ Discernment: 32 100: Liberation 99: Revolution 1: Ethics 2: Problem-Solution 3: Consent 4: 20

Fr. Mike what if you go through all the four doors and you can’t find your way back or get it fixed. I thought I was fulfilling Gods will and now I am not sure. And I am afraid he hasn’t been with me. I can’t go back how do I overcome the obstacles and get back on the right track. I feel I disappoint him with the way my life is going.

I love the last part. "Even if you make the wrong decision even after asking all those decisions, the Lord STILL will be with you. And He always provides a way to get back on track." This is so reassuring, especially for someone like me who always doubts themselves and their own decisions; who always rely on God's voice. But there are times in my life when I feel like I don't hear Him as much, or clearly; or maybe I did but I just didn't like His answer. So I seek out the answers for myself and try to see if what I want to believe is what God wants for me. Hearing this statement allowed me to not be scared, because knowing that even if I make mistakes, or make the wrong decision, I know my God will still love me, and will still accept me no matter what.

Thank you so much Fr. Mike! I really needed this video because I'm juggling a lot of decisions regarding college / seminary and I'm kind of freaking out, but, this made everything so much simpler. Thank you again. God bless!

can i use ur channel for my religion assignment PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pray for me friends, I am going to call a friend I had a disagreement with, to humble myself and accept my mistakes, to apologise for them, and to tell him that I love him and I am here to support him. It took a lot of discernment because I kept getting advice from people that sounded like “No! You didn’t do anything wrong! You deserve better!” … But I think Jesus would prefer humility over pride… 🙏

Thank you! This was amazing, from Waterloo, Ontario :)

@ Fr. Mike, Fr. Benedict Groeschel once related *Mother Teresa's Two-Steps For Seeking God's Will: 1.) Ask yourself: "What is the next step I DON'T want to take?" 2.) Humbly surrender yourself to God: "It is not so important to know God's will. What is important is to not hinder Him so much!"* +Peace+

*If you are a Christain, please copy this message so that it can reach more people.* Hi there! Religious or not, you are AMAZING and loved by God. In fact he loved you so much that he sent his son, Jesus, to die on the cross. Now, all you have to do is accept him and repent from your wrongdoings. Here is a verse about faith: 1 John 3:1 - “ See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” YOU ARE AMAZING AND HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!!! 😎✝️🙂❤️😁

😆😂.. Nice Ending Fr. Mike!! Thank tou so much for this very helpful video!! Godbless!! :)

Oh my goodness. He's done it again. THANK YOU FR. MIKE!!!!! This video was much needed.

I'd say "love your work" because that's what you're doing 9-10 hrs/day!!! If you don't love your work, it means you don't understand what you are doing properly....

How oddly timed to see this! Well, I guess I have to check my doors. Haha Thanks, Father Mike!

Just made my GCSE choices with your help! Thanks

2024 and am here! Thank you fr. Mike! God bless you and this channel.

Me discerning on should I study French? I want to, but financially- couldn’t afford. 🥲😂 I ask God, because I need to know if it’s his will and plans for me. Me rn watching Father Mike’s vid about discerning 😂

Thank you and God bless you Father Mike. I am currently in a difficult period in my life. In a very vulnerable and uncertain point and have been for half a year now. I have been praying a lot asking God to tell me what His will is. And I haven't been able to hear him, till I believe now. Your words truly helped a lot. And in fact make things much simpler than I thought. I will reflect on your words some more to confirm what door to walk through. Thank you once again

He is very good....but I would slow down his information because he sounds a little "chipmunkish" frenetic at times....

I'm not a Catholic but I love your videos (brother). God bless ya and thank you for the video. #2. Is this an open door? is tricky for me though. Did God not part the red sea? Did David not beat Goliath? Could God make mike an NBA superstar? Of course he could. So I disagree with #2 in a way Imagine if Moses had said they should give up because there would be no way to cross the sea?

Talking points: We many times rely on others to tell us what is best to do. We want the relief of responsibility of making decisions for ourselves. God has given us rules and guidance. Doors close to help guide us to “wise” doors. You know you better to decide. Is this a door I want? Choice. A mark of adulthood is being able to make decisions and take responsibility. June 11, 2022

Hey, the priest at my parish referenced your youtube channel to me. Could you cover the topic of Law Of Attraction and what the Catholic faith's view on it is? I've noticed a lot of videos by many young folks and celebrities like Oprah Winfrey mentioning this "universe" or God that allows you to have what you desire if you think about something enough or make "dream boards" for what you want? What would the Catholic faith's view on this be? Thanks in advanced.

Great sharing, a thing i Would like to strain on is , have a close relationship with God & invoke Holy Spirit for inspirations & guidance in your decision making otherwise your decisions wont be fruitful! Out of experience! We all have wonderful dreams, desires & opportunities plus thinking we are good planers!😂 search God first before climbing that Dream ladder, he will make rough roads Sounds smoother🙏

Wow that 'so hurtful ...how many times we meet the oportunity of job/relationship that is sooo gooood, open, wise ( good guy, good job, big money, good family ,good education, good faith, good character, etc...)...but....despite all odds, all your family and friends expectations, it' s not what you, the sinner, really want to have as your job or your spouse 😬

This was amazing advice, but would you be able to back them up with bible verses? Because, without Bible verses, it's just good two cents, not spiritual advice. I love your content, but at that point, I might as well go to a secular website for advice. I came here though because I want advice that edifices my soul. I still am a subscriber, but just a bit of my opinion

Also; does this thought give you peace, does visiting that person/ place give you peace, does more information about this person or place bring you peace. And: does all the above bring you closer to God or further away from Him. God’s will will always be a path to Sainthood to help you be the best version of yourself.

Hie Father your funny .As children of God we know right from wrong .You dont always look at the actions that way because most people believe they are good .Like a man looking in porn magazine that is cheating on his wife .They dont realize it .It is though .As a child of God I realize when i pick the wrong door but go through it anyways usally cause Im hurt .I have grown a lot since then.Not making the right choice.You know it is wrong from the beginning.If your a child of God .God will ride your back untill you walk away from sin .I been pulled back buy my pony tail before .That is if your a child of God .I swore a oath to serve him .You understand me .my oath to the Lord Jesus Christ .letting him in to my hart .my oath is my bond I swore to serve him the rest of my life .Most people already know when they get road block .I rebeled a long time ago .I went throw the wrong door .Semarry went out the window teaching the word out the window cousoling out the window .All because I was hurt .I belived I wannted better .I did not go about it right .It was a ball of mixed up string .Then this girl streight up said ok you win .Had too .It was not about others it was selfish of me .that was my sin .You can open all the doors you want too .Being a fruit inspector is where this comes in .Is it good fruit or bad behind that door .Forever thankfull I have matured .I was selfish for around three yrs .After that .Everything is a Blessing Because trust me its not fun when God pulling you back .Thank you Jesus Thank you Father Mike

You're the first Father that I would actually say, "You're cool."

I liked and subscribed to this channel before, I don’t know why I wasn’t subscribed, I had to subscribe again.

This not the kind of decernment Jesus ment . He said ' Ask pray for decerment that you would KNOW good from evil.

I have a girlfriend that has told me that she has started to think about potentially going into holy orders. She does not seem to be very sure though because she said she wants to put our relationship on pause while she fuigured this out. I of course would have a bias in this scenario. I want to make sure that Gods will be done before my own. The issue I’m facing is I’m not sure if my influence is me working as a tool for God to show her where she should be or If I am an obstacle. I think the correct answer is to just let her fuigure it out and stay back but I don’t know that this is what I should do. We are going to talk to a priest tomorrow. Does anyone have any advice? Preferably someone that’s in holy orders?

Thank you, very helpful pieces of advice. Is it a good, open and wise door? And do I want to go down this door? The need to take responsibility for your decisions is true, I used to shy away from taking decisions though.

How do i move on from a door that i got emotionally invested in before i did my research and discovered it wasn't a good choice to make?

Fr. Mike how did you know all of the specific decisions I'm asking right now? Very good video, it helps me a lot.

like many seminarians and novices, I attempted to enter a type of consecrated life. I was abused by a bishop and every layer of safeguarding completely failed, it was an insular system designed to protect the church. the archbishop didn't even be bothered with vos estis lux mundi. neither diocesan nor national safeguarding contacted the police. the bishop told all lies about me wanting to go in his bedroom with him when I was at a youth event, to make it look like my fault. I tried to sue the diocese but my lawyer was negligent and the case collapsed, I'm still dealing with this plus ptsd three years later. I'm also a young person. I guess God just tossed me in the scrap heap of "learning experiences for the church" and that is my vocation. since I spoke out about these things, I don't have a vocation to be a religious anymore. because I don't agree with the code of silence around abuse. in this way some people don't choose their vocation.

I don't have a hard time discerning relationships but I have a lot of trouble discerning jobs/careers

Thanks for the message Father Mike, it came at the perfect time. God bless.

My big mistake might be thinking that God only wants me to do one particular job, even if I hate it or don't particularly like it..

I needed that. Thank You GOD and thank you... New subscriber