Highly recommend the book "adult children of emotionally immature parents" I have a Passive type Dad & Emotional Unstable type Mum + traditional Chinese mindset & values "installed" since born. How to detox?! 1. Based on my personal experience, analyze your parents like any other human beings, not as parents, get rid of the glow of "oh, they're my parents, so I must love & respect them!" If they suck as human beings, then they probably suck as parents, just admit & accept they are flawed like all humans, don't feel bad about living your own life without them. Stop the guilty feeling. If you don't, you're basically trapping yourself with your own feelings, it's not helpful or healthy. 2. Be financially independent & self confident. If you can't prove yourself or your value in this world as a human being, the chances are, others including your parents will look down on you. No parents want a loser child. My parents treated me badly until Ib became a self made millionaire without any of their help. Most humans are trashy & dark, remember this, so are your parents... 3. Speak up & set boundaries. Chinese kids do NOT know how to set boundaries & say NO to things/people, learn from the white kids. Traditional Chinese thinking teaches us to be "an obedient good child" all the time. It's really not the way to be successful if you wanna make it in the real world. 4. Only 20% human beings can achieve self aware/reflect. Emotional immature people can NOT be changed by you from the outside because they do NOT have the mental ability to achieve self aware/reflect. Remember this data. If you failed many attempts to establish a meaningful connection with your parents, I'd give up & move on with your own better life. Keep it real. Life is too short to be wasted on anyone that's not worth it. You, yourself, are more important than anyone in this world. Good luck & Enjoy a wonderful life! :)
Highly recommend the book "adult children of emotionally immature parents" I have a Passive type Dad & Emotional Unstable type Mum + traditional Chinese mindset & values "installed" since born. How to detox?! 1. Based on my personal experience, analyze your parents like any other human beings, not as parents, get rid of the glow of "oh, they're my parents, so I must love & respect them!" If they suck as human beings, then they probably suck as parents, just admit & accept they are flawed like all humans, don't feel bad about living your own life without them. Stop the guilty feeling. If you don't, you're basically trapping yourself with your own feelings, it's not helpful or healthy. 2. Be financially independent & self confident. If you can't prove yourself or your value in this world as a human being, the chances are, others including your parents will look down on you. No parents want a loser child. My parents treated me badly until Ib became a self made millionaire without any of their help. Most humans are trashy & dark, remember this, so are your parents... 3. Speak up & set boundaries. Chinese kids do NOT know how to set boundaries & say NO to things/people, learn from the white kids. Traditional Chinese thinking teaches us to be "an obedient good child" all the time. It's really not the way to be successful if you wanna make it in the real world. 4. Only 20% human beings can achieve self aware/reflect. Emotional immature people can NOT be changed by you from the outside because they do NOT have the mental ability to achieve self aware/reflect. Remember this data. If you failed many attempts to establish a meaningful connection with your parents, I'd give up & move on with your own better life. Keep it real. Life is too short to be wasted on anyone that's not worth it. You, yourself, are more important than anyone in this world. Good luck & Enjoy a wonderful life! :)
Having a narcissistic father and an enabler sibling (flying monkey) is very challenging and energy draining during confrontation. I tried. Instead, they disrespected me and belittled my words, even laughed at me when I was trying to convey my thoughts and my views on our relationship/ parental issues. Then I realized, yup, I couldn't change them. They are not willing to change. At least I have the courage to confront them, and pat myself on the back after the disastrous conversations. We can do it guys!❤😊😊
