A lot of us feel the same way. I think relationship problems / social dysfunction are rampant throughout the world. Many want to fix / change things for the better.
-People are not reacting to you, they are reacting to them/ their thoughts about you -See things you do/ wanna try/ goals as experiment, sth. you want to experience (you re going to win or learn) - be there to catch yourself when you fall IT's not the outcome that we are afraid of but what we make the outcome mean about us -We don't fear what others think of us but what we make it mean and think about ourselves (what we think they could think about us=our own insecurities) -most events are neutral, we react to the meaning we give to them (what do I makf this Situation mean?)
Your message is pure empowerment in the context of emotional maturity. I truly appreciate your vibe/ simple yet complex subjects/ the black and white presentation aesthetics/ the soothing voice. Invaluable❤️
I really needed to know peoples' behavior is not about me but it's their reaction toward me. I deal with passive aggressive people alot and I couldn't understand it until now. Thanks
Don't take things personally. I have been struggling with this lesson for more than a decade, and this reminder is synchronously timed for me, because I've been beating myself up for stuff going on in my life now. Thank you
@@freshliving4199 thank you for the thought provoking question. My identity has grown organically from early childhood trauma with extreme punishment for authentically expressing who and what I am and the decades of partly self inflicted continuation of trauma, which I am finally making progress in healing. I am now beginning to learn that the trauma of my past doesn't have to define me. I once identified as a slave, but now I serve in pursuit of my dreams, not those of any owner. Now that I'm learning to take ownership of me away from others and own myself, maybe I can get better with this and other lessons that I've been struggling with.
@@xtinamariem3683 The identity you have today is not the real you. Its the identity the world around you has caused you to believe you are. The real you is your SOUL. This world builds you up just to break you down. And it breaks you down just so that it can build you up again. I call it the roller coaster of dying life. To become you, you have to unbecome who you are not. Do you have anger?
@@freshliving4199 my anger has been tempered by understanding and compassion for others and the traumas they have experienced. I get much more angry with systems of oppression, than I do with the individuals within those systems. I am also very aware that I cannot force those individuals who have caused my trauma to take accountability for their actions. I don't even try. My work is more directed toward the creation of systems of support for oppressed individuals and communities. I have never been good at displaying the persona that others expect, because my soul keeps shining through the mask that I create to try and make myself "acceptable" within prevailing systems. I also get angry with individuals who try to keep the light of my soul for themselves, and that anger serves as a catalyst for change within my life. I have watched the identity that I built in response to the pressure of the world crumble, many times. The result of this is that I don't try to tell people who and what I am, rather, I show who and what I am with my actions whenever possible.
@@xtinamariem3683 Interesting. What if i tell you its not actually your anger. In fact you have no anger to give. In reality its your mothers spirit of anger that has made a home in you when she traumatized you as a child. This spirit of anger leads only to destruction and death. Can you see it? Do you want to be free from it?
I absolutely had to listen to this message several times. I have to keep reminding myself the way others treat me isn’t a reflection of me but rather of them. And you’re right it’s hard because we are humans and we seem to take things to heart and it doesn’t make it any better when we’re struggling with learning how to love and trust ourselves(It actually makes it a little worse) I really needed to hear this message such a great message thank you again for continuing to share these GREAT MESSAGES with us. It’s so greatly appreciate it. Thank you🙏🏾
I agree with you. But what if they're not telling but they feel worried if they suddenly find you're not there (unexpectedly). I understood this point recently and I believe only some people get worried in such a scenario. Thoughts? I'm open to understand it from your perspective too.
@@juliakristinamah it's happened a few times and as someone who can't afford to support the youtubers she enjoys financially, i try to do all the things RU-vid algorithm likes and that includes commenting. I really appreciate what you do here and you may never know how much you've saved my marriage and helped me.
Failure is painful not just because of the meaning you attach to the result but the time, effort, resources and sacrifices you invest in that particular project.
Hi Julia. I have been using your videos in team leadership discussions. It’s incredible how well they apply in leadership. People (including myself) try to be an effective leader while still.dragging around this kind of baggage. It’s been very effective and lead to great discussions and change. Thank you 🙏
So I don't mean to find reasons to NOT like this but I can't help thinking the following: All or almost all communication and learning involves other people having thoughts and opinions. For example, if someone has a thought about our truly bad behavior, such as if WE are or I am rude to someone, or make disparaging comments about someone else, do the thoughts and opinions of others saying I am rude not count? I know a lot of your lessons involve disclaimers such as "Now of COURSE I'm not saying you should go around being a jerk and not care about who you hurt" etc and that's really cool, down-to-earth talk and its' appreciated. But getting into the SHIFT mindframe can really involve retraining our thought processes into auto pilot, because there's a fine line between thinking and OVER thinking for so many of us that in turn, causes the "What if" or neurotic mindset when we're being introspective or just worrying too much about what others think. So how do we find and hone that fine tipping point where we can SHIFT without effort when needed while still being able to be mindful where it's warranted so we don't go from caring about other opinions too much, into being complete A holes? Also, some of these lessons regarding knowing that we react to our thoughts about the way someone treats us, seems to conflict with the concept of boundaries. Because you need to FEEL and THINK something about what someone does in order to determine that your boundaries have been crossed. If you retrained your brain to not have bad thoughts about what people did or said, because you didn't have the feelings you did about what they did or said, you probably wouldn't even care enough to determine that anyone crossed your boundaries in the first place. In fact, would you even HAVE boundaries? THanks for all you do!
Hi Jillian am Gerald I've been following i like your classes if may call them. How can I be a member since I've been a victim of emotional abuse for quite awhile
Sensitive souls even feel the most hurt when others constantly strive to misunderstand you, like they're brains are wired to do nothing but that, which affects your whole family. Also dont care about romantic relationships though, thanks. :')
You do some real good work here, lady! Could you make a video on how to quiet down the monkey mind? And have a happier state of mind rather than always feel antagonised by everything?
I'm not a psychologist but, life is VERY uncertain and we might need to try and be ok with that and Remind ourselves to control the part of our life that we CAN control....which is our effort, hard work, love ,and thoughts.
oh oh can I play this game, so that I don't have to look at my own life? Let's have everything certain first before we do anything in life. Google traffic patterns, weather, wear our appropriate clothes prepped hours before, marry the right person who would treat us perfectly, eat the right amount of food, exercise the correct amount of reps daily, every thing has been figured out for us by our superior bosses, our scheduled lives, nothing is ever a surprise, padded playgrounds, walk/drive very slowly so as never to trip/have an accident, sleep your exact 8 hours ...
I like to drink by myself on the weekends. It's usually 3 beers or half a bottle of wine on the nights I drink. I don't drink at all during the week. I feel guilty for drinking and have never been much of a drinker. This doesn't make sense to me and is rather frustrating.
it may not be the drinking that is the problem, it may be the why you are ... needing to down time by drowning on the weekend by yourself, possibly because you are overwhelmed by weekday responsibilities and no one helped you out, for example
@@cultureal9544 thank you for the insight. I think I just have boring weekends. I’ve been trying to make some friends since I don’t have any. I just don’t trust people too well, so it’s not easy for me to make friends.
@@wg8290 omg, am going through the triggers of having good neighbors that I can visit and dine with at their house now, I feel like ... I have to ... go to church with them, when I normally don't, so I male promises to them about going with them at 830am today, nope, didn't keep my promise, now, am avoiding them
@@tmayor1949 it's easier to find on a computer but I assume you have to click on something between the video and comment section to see it on your phone 🤔
Yes they sure do & I agree with you because I have experienced this but they do this so often to me I start feeling like I am crazy and it has driven my Anxiety and Depression up even higher & so much more & I really try so hard to ignore it & put it in one ear & out of the other ear but when it keeps happening as it does it's so hard to control my Anxiety & Depression from getting higher and worse too, so what else do I do to help myself & to control the ignoring part of it so I can keep my Anxiety and Depression from getting any worse?
@@victoriastallard I am experiencing the same thing ! At first I use to take it very personal because it doesn’t seem I loved me enough why I made it affect me but now I look at it as If they really do need some help (unhappy with themselves) with that thought it keeps me going
@@temerawhyte2942 Thank you so much now I know I am not alone & I am absolutely not crazy either. I really appreciate you commenting on what I said & again thank you.
@@temerawhyte2942 I am also going to keep in my mind that the reason I go through this with people myself is because they are unhappy within their selves just as you said because it will help keep me going not just for myself but my Beautiful Daughter & come October my Handsome Cute Grandson's too 😊
Thank you. The messages are so nice and concise. Perfect. Thank you for helping so many of us lost or misunderstood children. I greatly appreciate the light you shine in the fog. Blessings to you Christina!!!
One of the four agreements is "Don't take anything personally." I was reminded of it. Also I have positive thoughts about Julia Kristina. I could share them but I'm not convinced she's dependent on hearing them.
Crows and Ravens are actually impressive birds, LOL! xD This video indeed needs to be watched more than once in order for all of these ideas to register properly. For many of these neutral situations, "The war is in your head.". More often than not, failures are best seen as lessons. 14:38 - The thoughts of any given individual are that person's own business. (If a person has severely distorted thoughts and then actually acts on them, then this is an entirely different issue.) I like your hair, actually, LOL! xD I like that you film your videos in Black & White, even though most things in life are not B/W ;-) Many thanks to you. Cheers!
Yes it's true that we have our own expectations of a given outcome....but it's when other people give me expectations of an event, and they fail, it's on them, but it screwed up me too.
Once again I have learned a lot 😃 I needed this so badly because I am always lost in what others are saying 😂. Now I feel I can work on this right now. TY again and again.
Managing our minds is definitely a game changer for me. I could show a picture of a forest here in British Columbia to 2 people. Person A would think about how beautiful the land is and considered going on a hike. Person B thinks it would be a great spot to start a logging business. Are these 2 thoughts wrong? Nope. It is a neutral event but we make drama out of it in our minds and we lash out, backed up by how we see the world and how the world should run. I feel that emotions run high in politics but we create theses emotions in our mindset. So great to hear from you again!
Thank you for this video which supports and reinforces the things I'm working on in the Shift Society!! For anyone who is on the fence about joining the Shift Society, let me tell you that it's SO worth it!!! 👍😁
PROBLEMS ARE CREATED IN OUR MINDS. SO true!!!! Your videos are always relatable. Always. I found you a long time ago through YT4B and you're an inspiration. Mindset is everything and my turn around was my burnout, the BEST that ever happened to me. I began being AWARE of my thoughts, then learned the power of my thoughts and now I manifested my dream life. Everyone can do it and it all starts with awareness, which you mention so often too. Thank you
luv it but I dont know how seeing everything as an experiment would apply going on dates (lets just say). That brings A. expectations B. potential negative bs from the other, C ruffled past pain or unresolved issues, D. boring date , E. my emotions rattled for no reason then thinking "this is the reason why I dont date" .. dunno I dont know if Julia is looking clearly at 19:20 , it is worse to think and do something malicious than to think and not to act.
If you react to circumstances then you are giving away your internal power - you aren't living through your internal locus of control. I subscribe to Neville Goddard's 'everyone is yourSELF pushed out' In other words, everyone's (percieved) behaviour towards you is a reflection of your concept of yourself.
Found your channel searching for locus of control. Good stuff. Thank you. If possible, could you please let me know what microphone you are using? Your audio quality is great. I would like to give one of those as a gift. Subscribed and staying tuned in 🙏🏼
You brought back to my memory of something I once read…….often times the way people treat you is more of a reflection of how they feel about themselves than they do about you. 👍
🤯🤯. Wow. That was intense. I am definitely going to have to watch this again. But from what I grasped, it seems to make sense. What holds me back is not a fear of failure but I hear my mom’s voice and other voices from my childhood criticizing me. So I end up not doing . Not that I actually hear the voices. I should clarify. But it just triggers these moments from my youth when I was criticized. If that makes sense. One of these days I will overcome!! Thanks so much.
Julia kristina at her best. Thank you for this film. It feels like julia kristina knows me personally, can see all my flaws , and might help me fix it.
I am currently reading your Book and it has been really helping me to see that I am not who others think I am- and the issues I am having relate to reacting to my perceptions of what others are doing in relation to their thoughts - so, it matters what I think of me- and what I need to do in order for me to be able to neutralize this cycle.
Our experiences as well as our environment play a key role in how we interpret things - especially our thoughts and/or words that others say to us. There's way too much self-loathe in this world when there should be more self-love. This is a great video and such good advice!
I have not finished the video, only a minute and 44 in actually, but I just wanted to share that today I relapsed. I have been... circumventing my issues lately even though I always tell my kids and wife to push through, not get past them. I need all the shifts I can get. Thanks in advance for what you do.
I think I you’re right, I want to watch this one like once a week. So they’re not reacting to us they’re reacting to their thoughts about us. And we aren’t reacting to fundamental truths about us, we’re reacting to what we think they think about us and what what they think means about us.. phew! It’s all just so convoluted, do we even like this person at all? lol
I agree with her most of the time, but the example of a car cutting me off and my reacting negatively to that is because people can--and do--get KILLED because of such idiotic, thoughtless driving: THAT''s what I'd be reacting to. And even WORSE is that some of those murdered people are CHILDREN. :(
People are reacting to their thoughts about us Experiences are neutral but we react to what we make it mean about us. See things as experiments. We’re not afraid of the outcome but what we’re going to make it mean something about us. We don’t fear what people think about us, we fear what we’re going to make it mean. We worry about what people might think about us because we think of ourselves that way and it’s a sensitive topic. We need to change how we think about ourselves ❤
Thanks for sharing! I'm going to keep this in mind today. The self- trust exercise was outstanding. I bought it a couple weeks ago and found it super helpful😃
I am new. I love your videos and they are truly helping me to dig deeper. And empower me to be the best I can be. Sating the boudies with my kids and others.
