Jordan Etherington Unless of course the woman is having her period, which will attract bears anyway, and she uses honey to attract bees to scare the bears away.
phuk gugle There have been studies since the 80's proving him wrong, we shouldn't have to any more. Polar bears are the exception in this, not the rule.
Crimson Ace Monster's Ball with Halle Berry was a hilarious sex scene. Frist she lost her son so she is sad and Billy Bob Thorton plays a racist who has sex with her as she cries and shouts make me feel good make me feel good. And its a very graphic and unintentionally hilarious sex scene. They even made fun of it on American Dad.
Jason Boyd so he got the honey lube knowledge the same way he got the wolf boner knowledge then. in fact he probably got both pieces of knowledge at the same time
So the Coppola Dracula movie did take quite a few liberties from the original Dracula story written by Bram Stoker, however, it is still the closest adaptation of that book ever made to date. And that sex scene pretty much happens the way it happened in the book, baby and all. In the book, Johnathan Harker was explicitly told by Dracula, not to fall asleep anywhere in the castle other than his bedroom, and that he couldn't guaranty his safety if he broke this rule. Well he does, because being a contract lawyer is really dull, and he falls asleep in the library. When the vampiresses appear he assumes that he's dreaming, partly due to the surrealness of it, but also because he can't move. He also explains that he was uncontrollably aroused, and also disgusted with himself for having these feelings that betray his wife Mina. Then Dracula shows up, scolds them, gives them a baby to eat, and sends them away with an ominous remark that they can have Harker after he has what he needs from him. (He's essentially buying up property in London so he can move there and take over the world) Most of the big differences between the movie and book happen when Dracula gets to London, where the movie depicts Dracula elaborately romancing Mina away from Johnathan. Which pretty much never happened. But I can see why Coppola would do that, because Dracula as a character pretty much doesn't exist for the second two thirds of the book. It's all told from the POV of the characters hunting him but rarely interacting with him. But that sex scene... is totally legit.
Taniseth You said it perfectly. Coppola's version is pretty much the closest film adaptation of Stoker's novel. Keanu is one of the weakest links in the film with that British//Surfer Dude accent of his.
+Taniseth I always liked Langella as Dracula - he was the Disco King, the dangerous irresistable lover, the sensuous vampire - and the scene where Van Helsing has to kill his daughter Mina in the old mine was grievously terrible - but everyone has their favorite
My question is, during the sex orgy/rave, where are all the children, and I don't know, people over 30? Were they all suddenly put on guard Duty, and thrown out into the wilderness? thanks Daniel. I never noticed that before.
Honey may make a terrible lube, but coconut oil does work as an edible lube. Obviously, don't use it if you or any of the other people involved in sexy times are allergic to coconut, and don't use it with latex condoms because coconut oil is oil and will cause the latex to deteriorate. You can use it with polyisoprene condoms, though. Also, you should probably double check this information before you use coconut oil as lube because to you I'm just some person on the internet and you have no way of being sure that I know what I'm talking about.
You really need to include the sex scene from 'Damage,' where Jeremy Irons is holding Juliette Binoche by the ears and banging her head on the floor in time to the bonking. The entire movie theatre I was in burst out laughing at that one when I went to see it with my husband!
Daniel. Why exactly *do* you know so much about canine genitals? I know why *I* know about them, but I can't help but wonder if it's the same reason you do, lmao.
"Let's have him take a bite out of an apple so he looks like more of an asshole." Ding! Considering the recent collaboration between Cracked and Cinemasins, this was all I could think of.
So many hilarious lines in this one! Also, I would really appreciate seeing Dan break down the similarities between 9 & a Half weeks and 50 Shades of Gray. Sure, it means he'd have to watch 50 Shades, but sometimes sacrifices must be made!
For those curious about the use of spurs in intimate activities, but who sadly do not live in 19th century Mexico, I suggest checking your local adult toy store for something called a "wartenberg wheel." It's essentially a spur with a handle. It has legitimate medical uses, but you also see them used as sex toys.
popodono that book was my LIFEEE though! read it omg it was the one book in my ap english lit class that was really easy to read. it kept me on my toes the whole time! 10/10 would recommend.
"‘Are we to have nothing tonight?’ said one of them, with a low laugh, as she pointed to the bag which he had thrown upon the floor, and which moved as though there were some living thing within it. For answer he nodded his head. One of the women jumped forward and opened it. If my ears did not deceive me there was a gasp and a low wail, as of a half smothered child. The women closed round, whilst I was aghast with horror. But as I looked, they disappeared, and with them the dreadful bag. There was no door near them, 58 Dracula and they could not have passed me without my noticing. They simply seemed to fade into the rays of the moonlight and pass out through the window, for I could see outside the dim, shadowy forms for a moment before they entirely faded away. Then the horror overcame me, and I sank down unconscious." - CHAPTER 3, BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA -- www.planetebook.com/ebooks/Dracula.pdf
Daniel, I super love your videos, everything you do on this channel. Your mannerisms, your voice, just the way you break things down. I enjoy everything you do please never stop making videos, I love you. Amen
I miss him too, but I found out that he's a writer for Last Week Tonight now, when they used a photo of him, which I thought was a stock photo at first, until I saw his name pop up in the credits!
"These candles are going to burn the dorm to the ground." I almost died laughing. My first night at college the girl in the room above mine at the dorm had her boyfriend over and they lit a bunch of candles. They left the room afterward and forgot to blow all of them out. Add in an open window and you can guess what happened. Ahhhhh, memories!
1:20 thats atually the point of both the film and the book also he is a man in the Victorian era... you know, the time when a healthy relationship consist in sending latter for 3 years before holding hands ... of course he is HAVING the best sex of his life and the scene is in the film because its part of the book
+Philip kelton (pkelton) um. I do not recall any lady vamp orgies in Bram Stoker's book...I wouldn't have liked it so much if that sort of thing was explicitly in there...
Alexandra Rathsman its all subtext , when dracula's wifes attack jonathan harker he get all aroused and start cheating on Mina with the three woman but the thing is .. he doesn't admits it to himself . he writes the whole event as a "the Devil Made made do it " as a way of reconciling what he was doing with his own morality and views of himself again this i really retrograde age people in the Victorian age where extreamly sexually repressed and had really unhealthy conservative ideas about sexuality and relationships Dracula in away represents a extreme break of this walls of social expectations and because the whole story is written by people in denial of their own feelings dracula is described as being a complete monster but you can see parallels in the conversation of the character and the vampire they are fighting
OH MY GOD YOU SAID THE GRIPPING HAND ... Although on reflection I shouldn't be surprised that Dan is a fan of Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle's excellent book, "The Mote in God's Eye". Everyone go read it now.
Alright, for the record, that must be Selma's butt not Antonio's. Why? Do you see any hair on that butt? Seriously, Antonio has dark hair, and unless he body shaves including his entire butt, that close up, you would see dark hair. Also, during the filming of this he was pretty thin. Look at the rest of the scenes, and tell me his butt would be that round. Whereas, Selma has a womanly round figure, and that is what you see in this scene. But(t), I could be wrong.
Maybeeeee...., but seriously, if he had a chance to do this scene I'm pretty sure he would have tried to convince the director that he could do his own "stunts".
"Have you ever got sap on your hand & tried to get it off its f*cking impossible. .....next day at work when your coworkers smell you they're going to think you f*cked a box of Golden Grahams." Man this sh*t was beyond funny.
I know its funny to most people, Cracked, but it's actually really insensitive to use Boner Fever as a punchline. I'm not trying to take anyone's sense of humor away, but as a victim of Perpetual Boner Fever (PBF) life is always hard...really, unnaturally hard. I can't stand in lines without prodding those in front of me or stand to pee unless I am at least 4 feet away from the average toilet. imagine taking up to 3 minutes of extreme caution every time you want to wear something with a zipper, or the pain of accidentally rolling onto your stomach during sleep. It isn't something to be taken lightly. Maybe in the future more tact and respect will be shown to our kind. Not trying to be stiff or anything.
Ryan McIntyre honey is a fab antibacterial (the really expensive Mellua(sp?) is recommended as an infection killing alternative to medicinal creams), but natural yoghurt is the best treatment for yeast infection, especially thrush. HTH!
It was never my intention when I started this show to have to dispense this information. Putting honey in your vagina can cause a yeast infection. I literally laughed until tears welled up
I knew I loved Dan, after my first After Hours episode last week, but hearing it called "Yakety Sax" and not "The Benny Hill Theme" made me so happy. Take me now, Dan, take me now! ...I might need professional help.
Okay B, I seriously doubt you guys at cracked will read this... But I've got a good topic for you. So, while watching '16 Candles' again as a 29 year old... I realized how messed up that guy is she's got that obsessive crush on. He totally sends his drunk girlfriend home with the geeky kid he barely knows and actually gives him permission to date rape her cuz she's wasted. He hasn't even broken up w the chick and he sends her away to get ruined sexually so he can deflower the much less attractive red head he's never spoken too... Seriously, take a look at that movie again. I'm sure you can do a whole episode about all the ways that movie is just wrong. Including the obvious racism (against Long Duck Don, not any blacks because there are none at the high school.) Would love to see what other observations you make of that film.
back again almost a decade later. I was expecting a joke about how those desparado candles ar the real reason the store caught fire. it wasn't hte neemy she left too many on haha
I know this is an old episode and that these Writers / Actors are no longer on the team. However, Daniel, if you are listening, I will be your awkward nerdy wife any day!
that weird Dracula sex scene was based on one from the book, that is why it is there Dan. admittedly the one in the book is much less ridiculous. in the book Jonathan falls asleep in a part of the castle I wasn't supposed to visit and has what he thinks is a dream, in which three incredibly beautiful women with no shadows talk about sharing him between them("there are kisses for all of us") and just as one has her mouth pressed against his neck(he isn't objecting because of the mesmerizing hotness and he thinks it is a dream) Dracula appears tares the woman away chastises them for touching him and gives them a bundle implied to be a baby or small child to feed on.
If 3 naked vampires rise out of a bed my logical conclusion would either be I'm in a dream, in which case I'm not even going to question it, or I'm about to get eaten, in which case I'd fruitlessly struggle against the undead that are molesting me. So maybe he thought it was a dream or it slightly was a dream or something like that.
On Bram Stroker's Dracula, you forgot to mention the Lucy Westerna-werewolf/Dracula scene much later in the movie. I haven't seen a more disturbing sex scene in a movie again until the Kyle McLaughlin/Elizabeth Berkley pool sex scene in Showgirls teen wolf, I'd do it
