People don’t hate intelligence, they fear it, and hate being made to look stupid or inferior. Truly intelligent INTJs will recognize the need to communicate tactfully, because like it or not, life is a team sport and no one accomplishes anything significant without the help of others. I am an ENTP so this comes more naturally to me. My mother also happens to be an ENTP, and while my father is a brilliant INTJ, he claims he’d never have become a millionaire if my Mother hadn’t taught him the value of being more tactful. Anecdotal? Admittedly so. Yet, In that same line of thinking, I would never have been successful with my natural abilities alone, as an ENTP, if it weren’t for my Father teaching me how to prioritize my goals, self impose discipline, and rationalize from first principles. So… yeah, I empathize with this comment because I often perceive others as peons, but it is simply false. Society and evolution has continually rewarded the most intelligent people.
@@DAVD-M But let's agree that IQ has no connection to type. So intelligence is being conflated with truth based decision making. But life is even more about meaning, as in values. Cultures are values driven. We need both T and F to have a fulfilling human experience.
@@m2pozad the MBTI cognitive functions do not determine IQ, but IQ does correlate with cognitive preferences... So I can only half agree. The cognitive functions are akin to the lenses of perception that you used to interpret the world. So it would make sense that a particular set of lenses would produce better results than the others, at least on a test. I do believe that there is an objective truth. However, that does not inherently mean that there is one truth. In my best estimation, the idea that the truth is subjective( which is often misused to justify delusion), is just acknowledgment that there are different levels of truth. Although I do think that the more intelligent you are, the easier it is to interpret a given layer, that does not make it easier to accept that there are more layers to reality than you are capable of perceiving. So yes, a life best lived requires the ability to use both emotion-based feedback and logic. Although I would surmise that “feeling” is the quickest way our body communicates a calculated conclusion of what it interpreted from our experiences, intuition is a mixed calculation of forethought and feelings, and logic is the foundational coded/symboled language of all the layers of our interpretation of the world. Thus, the better you are able to use logic, the better you were able to predict outcomes and plan strategically, so that your actions yield your desired result.
@@DAVD-M IQ test fact- My college roommate, PhD., Psychology, was affiliated with I.Q. testing of Mormon females (notable for their subservient homemaker/ air-headed/pretty, but dumb reputations). Turns out that their behaviors were nothing more than role playing to expectations. Their IQ test results were the same as their supposed more intelligent male counterparts. As well, Jung stated that back in his day, he had never met a T-type female. Yet male and female IQs have always been generally the same. Assuming the ultimate desired result is happiness, F-types more often than not win there as well. Though INFP's and INFJs seem to choose consciousness over happiness just to irk the rest of us.
Intj here... People would describe me as someone who is emotionless. But inside I'm suffering... it's just sometimes I can't express things normally like others would 😔
I've always thought expressing emotions was a waste of time, what does it matter if people understand how I feel at any given moment? No matter what, what made me feel whatever type of way has already come to be, so you cannot "unspill the milk" so to speak. However I "feel", will be gone in a few moments and I will feel some other way, I got way to much going on in my mind to have to be bothered to express or explain to anyone else what was going on inside me 10 seconds ago...
@@m2goofy760 Same here, but it goes beyond simple expression for me. I can remember to smile at people, but I can't get past the small talk thing. When people ask how you're doing, they don't really want to know, because they are not really interested. Small talk seems like a mask. I could talk for hours about something more important, but most people aren't that deep. Extroverted feelers think they are contributing to community by getting drunk at a party, and by putting on a fake persona. They call it getting connected with reality. They don't see the utility of things, and are put off by practically. If we're well researched on any subject, or have worked diligently to acquire skills, they will dismiss it as being a know it all, or that we need to get out more. I see emotion as undeveloped thinking. If feelers are so developed, then why do they always seem to have difficulty keeping their emotions in check? Why do they come to us to get grounded in logic whenever they go to pieces?
INTJ here. While I used to be bad with emotions, it got better over time. I still don’t empathize certain emotions, but I understand WHY people feel/act a certain way. I simply don’t feel the same way. The rest of this list is spot-on for me.
I am an INTJ (5w6) as well. I am trying to develop my Fi so I can be better at dealing with the emotional aspects of life. As well as enhancing other functions if possible.
It’s only overthinking when you can’t eat, sleep, or function cause you’re so lost in thought. If you’re just dissecting scenarios in your head while maintaining healthy habits everywhere else, keep doing it.
I'm seeing a theme of INTJs being socially awkward or not good with emotions. Personally, I find going straight to the deep end of the pool and being myself, I filter out the shallow people and make them be the socially awkward ones :) And I think INTJs can be very good with emotions, they pick and choose which ones are useful. They don't get swept away and join collective thinking and feelings. Everything is on purpose.
So true, its not that we are not good with emotions, in fact we understand emotions more than most but we just don't endulge in it because its not logical. In other words we don't enjoy wasting time on uselessness.
As an INTJ I found networking and office politics difficult. It definitely limited my career. I did work very hard on social skills and emotional intelligence. I just did not want to do networking after work. I wanted to go home and recharge. I also wanted to focus on projects at work and not dirty games to get ahead. I for sure struggled with many bosses.
Been there. The key is to use your INTJ competence to open up opportunities and proactively change job/boss until you find one that appreciates your competence and works to your career advantage. I have found that being authentic and kind is much better than average networking; you screen out lame and toxic people and attract kind and authentic ones at work.
Same here, this is a common trait in INFJs i think. I definetly love to work rather than engaging in conversations with others. I just want to do my work and improve myself.
I'd rather dig ditches than be stuck in stupid office politics and gossip. It's like high school round 2. As a female INTJ it's especially horrid- because I'm not bubbly, social, outgoing, etc. Your choices are either exhaustion from pretending all the time or, you are just hated from "go".
Your absolutely right that the working environment is high school round two, especially with the 40-year women who would cause drama and make fun of anyone who was different. I decided to run back to school and go to university, and not have to deal with this crap. -INTP
The amount of times people get angry at me saying “you think you’re so smart?!” “You’re not the only smart one here!” As if I didn’t teach them math, English, and book their flight tickets 💀💀 sit the fuck down. I’m not sorry my rational thinking hurts your feelings. There is a reason you come to me to fix your problems.
it’s the negative repro-projection of them registering own shortcomings | inferiority as it situatively emerges. and being nrcissistically ego-struck then. but they aren’t in tge least relevant enough to be taken effort of showing their limits to them… nobody does care, relatedly. and one cannot always (bother to) second-guess what others don’t hapoen to know, obviously.
Being called on to fix peoples problems because you have the mental aptitude while also being a jerk or arrogant cause they couldn’t kick themselves out of wet paper bag is mind numbing. There’s a reason we are introverted. People are so dumb it hurts my brain.
C-suite executive and INTJ-A here. It took me over a decade to deliberately train my INTJ 🧠 to intentionally connect with other personalities. Not easy in my younger years. But, INTJ is a very intelligent group. Critical thinking comes naturally. We learn fast and deliver mastery at work. Use our unique strengths 💪 INTJs can do it! 🥰💜
I wish people could understand that I don't care about their personal lives, emotions, or opinions. I don't want to be disturbed, I don't want people to touch me, I don't want to talk about my feelings (I rarely have ones, to be honest). It's not that I am cold-hearted, it's just that I am not interested. I'm not lonely, I'm fine. Pretending to be interested in other people's lives causes me physical pain. I don't even have a doorbell on my door, so random people can not disturb me. When I drive UBER, I have a sign on the seat that I don't speak English, so I don't have to answer stupid questions like: "How are you?" or talk about the weather.
This! We use logic while looking at the bigger picture instead of going off personal feelings and impulses to make decisions and it always rubs the other person the wrong way. It sucks because we’re trying to make sense of the situation and the other person either sticks their head in the sand or gets impulsive lol.
I needed to hear this. I’ve been in a “what’s wrong with me” phase lately. Oh, now I remember, INTJ. It takes me back to the first time I took the Mbti in psychology class. I couldn’t believe it, there actually is a description of my existence! It took the pressure off me to fit in or adjust.
Same here🙋♀️ I used to think I was the odd one. Now I know I'm the unique. And that is one of the reasons people can't put up with INTJs. Cause INTJs are rare...people are not used to INTJs
People use you when you are vulnerable. Even when I'm not being vulnerable and I just showcase my intelligence in front of the class with all my might, I was met with a glare and I even heard someone told in the back "Don't mind her. We can use her sooner". Crazy how these people think I can't hear them and how they think I'll accept being taken advantaged. In their motherfooking dreams lol
My life is hard not because my personality. My life is hard because I was born poor and physically handicapped. I had emotions as another kids do. But then I learn emotions didn't help you solve your problems, logic does. Personality is not 100% upbringing. It develops through your life. At the end, personality is just reaction to your past experiences.
When it comes to meet-ups, I always prefer something active like a boardgame meet-up or riding a bike. If it's only conversation I get tired in no time. For a 1:1 I always prefer to walk than sit, so you have something happening around you that you can use for conversation instead of just sitting down and having all the pressure of conversation thrust upon you. LOL I always carry a deck of cards on me in case convo gets too boring. My constant question : 'so what do we do next?'
You’re not an INTJ. We love interesting conversations. If we realize that it will not happen with a person or group we are with, we remain silent & strategize our exit.
Re: Authority. We CAN be the rebellious ones who never conform. but we can also be some of the top rule followers. The thing with INTJs is that "Because I said so" almost never works as a good reason. About the only time it works is if we're actually in a shoot out and we don't have time to question, and the person giving us the order is someone we trust in other aspects, so that we believe in their judgment right now. Mostly, though, "Because I said so" is not going to cut it. And really, that's a dumb reason to do anything. If you want an INTJ to follow the rules, you need to explain to the INTJ why the rules exist. For example, in Japan, train conductors will clear a platform by pointing their finger and holding it out in front of them as they scan up and down the tracks for stragglers. This looks dumb. You'd think, why do I need to point my finger and follow it as I scan the platform, can't I just look? But then you find out that this simple scanning technique increases focus and has reduced death and dismemberment by over 30% over just looking. INTJs are all about efficiency and results. We want fewer people to die if it's our job to keep them safe. And so we will always do the thing if we know WHY we're doing the thing. But than, that's true of everyone. If they understand WHY they need to do things a specific way, most people do a better job of doing the thing, and perform tasks to a higher standard, even those types who will blindly follow authority do a better job when they understand why. But for INTJs, understanding why is the only way to get us to follow.
Social skills aren't hard. When I actively listen to close friends, they often do not do the same for me and judge. When that happens, I naturally stop being vulnerable and then boom, people call me difficult. I like having friends with similar communication styles. I hate when people try to interpret my emotions and motives. I'll tell you why I do something if asked. I only share my emotions if safe or if beneficial to the interaction.
Absolutely spot on with all the points. As an INTJ myself I really struggle with Vulnerability and articulating myself. As a result I have 0 social life and little to none emotional connection with people. I hope it will change someday. It's bothering me a lot lately.
@@BarrengerFynar yeah everything feels perfect when we plan it in advance, it's the execution of our plan which feels exhausting specially if it involves people.
@@kanedakent3880 What did you use for money? I have tried repeatedly but have always been stymied by being broke and not having the capital to get going or stay going.
My problem is when the supposed superior actually has just a small fraction of the objective, verifiable, nuts & bolts knowledge of the field that I do.
INTJ here I don’t like like to be emotional or open up because people tend to use you when you are vulnerable and tbh I rather just downplay my feeing rather then open up and get hurt
I'm learning the same lesson. It comes from experience rather than my nature, because my natural preference is to be open and direct. But we try different methods of interacting over time, isn't that normal for all types?
@@y04a sensing And intuition are the 2nd letters in your typing, look up the difference between the 2 it talks about how you process information and the world around you
We INTJ women are more rare than chicken lips and snake hips. I grew up in a houseful of men. I'm very left-brained. Women just don't get how I function from my brain (logic and common sense) and not my mushy-gushy feelings. I can't even bear to be around that attitude!
They find me cynical and insensitive in a way when I’m just stating a fact. It helped alot when I tried an experiment where I have to properly choose which situation I have to use emotion and when to drop it. All for logical reasons.
The biggest turn off and alarming thing that other people do that intj hates is make them look stupid and wasting their time. Eg: they provide info that gaslight situation whereby intj can't really identify and differentiate, and using 'right time/perfect time/God time for one's person lack of effort/action. Measuring my circumstances with their level of intellect were the biggest insult ever.
Very true! My best friend is a INTP and he faces almost the same list of social challenges except he is better at putting up with idiots long enough to get away than I am!
I’d guess most of this relates to INT, and I’d assume quite a part of ppl. disposed like this to actually be in, or close to, ASD spectrum. So the trouble might primarilarily be indicative of ND mismatch to NT crowds.
Number 2 & 3 hit me hard. I had to resigned from my previous job because I can't stand with company politics, bureaucracy, and annoying supervisor (I was work as civil servants back then). So, I prefer freelance work now and then
I can't deal when a person comes to me with the same problem over and over, especially when they have a solution and won't carry it out. After that I shut down, stop listening and start losing respect for them.
The social and the company/office politics hits hard. I've been trying my best to catch up with these things, but it's just plainly exhausting. This video is really relatable.
"Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to bear the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, END THEM." -- Hamlet
Most of all INTJ problems are leveled out over time by life experience. This leads to the fact that you begin to read people like an open book and this is terrifying, you end up becoming disillusioned with humanity. Therefore, my advice to you: take care of any manifestations of joy, try to keep it inside yourself. As Dolores Abernathy (Westworld) says : "Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world the disarray. I choose to see the beauty."
I used to have problems to understand other people's feelings. What helped me the most was reading fictional, well written, emotional stories; and analyzing emotional films, ballet, music... And as I read a lot about psychology now I have more tools and words to understand myself and to express it. Before that I only had two modes: not talking at all about how I felt even when deep I felt bad; or just being so stressed that I could not longer retain everything and then being a mess trying to exprss why I was uptset as everything was so complex to put it in context and to make others to understand me cause I felt as I had to explain everysingle time something bothered me and why. Now I know that just saying "this bothers me" should be enought. Sorry if I made mistakes, english is not my first language.
I've trained the mind to autopilot in social settings, so much so that I essentially disappear into the crowd. I let my body and expression juggle the butterflies while my mind remains in a state of solitude and absolute focus. I've found this ability essential in honing my manipulation skills. And I must say... I'm quite pleased with the results.
Developing empathy has helped me understand others emotions better. But I still think logically about the situation that makes others emotional. And I analyze why I do not or would not feel or act the same way. It's all quite fascinating.
The times when I was the most empathetic was the times I was struggling the most. Understanding and feeling the pain of others, while not being able to fix it cause it’s within them to make the change will make an INTJ go bananas. Besides, everyone hates good advice if it insults their ego.
Interesting what it says about communication by writing... whenever i need to have a serious talk with someone, i always use writing because i am not very good with words especially in an environment that is likely to be emotionally charged. When i write, i can communicate very clearly and get what i want to communicate across very clearly where i usually cant when having a conversation that is not in a relaxed comfortable setting. When i write it out, i can review it and organize it the way it needs to be to communicate with the other person very clearly and leave little room for doubt or misinterpretation. That is my more powerful form of communication.
They key to appreciating this system is understanding it doesn't and cannot define anyone. If your TRUE personality/self is like a custom suit of armor, MBTI is only a compendium of different styles of armor you can refer to for understanding certain aspects. I never say I AM INTJ. I consistently TEST as INTJ. Im sure most of you understand this already. The utility of MBTI is not a "smart persons astrolgy." The utility of it, is as a rough outline of humanity with an arbitrary 16 divisions.. It can point you in a direction to understanding people and social interactions to an extent.
I am INTJ. It doesn't help me understand others, it helps me understand why I am so different from everyone else, while at the same time reassures me that I'm not weird or strange, just different. Personality isn't a suit of armor, it's your real self. And I never want to pretend to be something I'm not, like extroverted or pleasant to be around.
Its a metaphor to say not all attributes are identical but can still be categorized. As not all people are identical but can still be categorized. No i dont think personality is a custom metal defensive suit.
@@mikemcclellan2863 The roots of MBTI are the theory and research of the psychologist Carl Jung. Carl Jung came up with this system, as a diagnostic template for his patients. He found the information useful in order to customize his approach in psychoanalysis and treatment to different people. It's certainly not ludicrous. The system simply was never meant to be known by the general public. It was a personal tool devised by the greatest psychologist of all time. People who are significantly less intelligent than Carl Jung (which is many people) will obviously misunderstand and misuse the information they learn about MBTI.
Whoever did this is clearly not an INTJ. And your recommendations are obviiously made for extroverts. I can only agree on two of them: 1. the tendency to overthink, and 2. feeling misunderstod. It's not only we "feel" misunderstood we ARE misunderstood by most people. Your video clearly shows how much we're misunderstood. Btw. I'm in my 40's now, and for a long time I didn't know I'm an introvert. Almost every person I met or bumped into, tried to make me more extroverted and "heal" me from being who I am. I felt like a complete failure around them, and began to believe, that there is really something inherently wrong with me. Their tipps sounded similiar to your: express more feelings (and smile more!), verbalize everything, talk to more people and develop your social skills as much as possible... blah, blah, blah... you know what was the result of it? I cutted all people out of my life, except 2 real friends and 3 family members. Everyone else just caused an endless stream of chit-chat, smalltalk and an absurd ammount of drama. And INTJ's hate all of that stuff!
This is accurate, as an INTJ most people tend to dislike me. They either find me boring because I'm not into partying or drinking at the bar or going out in general. Or they get mad because they think I'm emotionless and condescending. People in my own family feel the same and tend to alienate me. It's just frustrating, that's why i prefer my solitude. I'm very happy with myself and my accomplishments and if they can't accept me for who i am then i don't need them.
Everything is a pattern. I have just as much emotion as the next person. My pattern is as follows: 1) Don’t express true emotion. 2) When someone trustworthy is identified, peel a layer of the mask back. 3) judge trustworthy persons reaction to the percentage of true emotion I have explained. 4) determine wether that layer of the mask stays off, or if it goes back on. 5) repeat steps 2-4 as needed. I only trust one person with my true emotion and perceptions. The concept of having many friends is really confusing to me 🤨
An an INTJ I think I have the same emotions as most people BUT I don't express them therefore most people think I don't FEEL emotions. It's the biggest way I am misunderstood.
INTJ-A here, was once INFJ-T. I can understand ppl super well, but no one does, to me. I have complex thinking, could lead to paralysis sometimes. I love to isolate myself. Overall, I oscillate between the F and the T. Most of the time, I prefer rational mode over feelings.
It is hard and easy at the same time. Hard in that I have zero patience with lameness and non-sense, which is everywhere and everyday and everyone (including myself). Easy in that I learned to efficiently and strategically filter out people and situations that drag me down. I don't invest in toxic or even unconstructive relationships, I get out of dead-end jobs, I am fiscally responsible. It was harder when I was young and still involuntarily dependent on others (but it taught me social intelligence), but once I am older and have time to build my career and financial power, it gets a lot better because I now have the choice to shut out most lame people and situations. Even just by not falling into bad romantic relationships saved me tons of time and energy for constructive things.
I heard "it is possible" quite a few times. However, giving soft solutions like "mindfulness" increases the likelihood of failure. I have had some success with mantras.
@@KP-w I like David Goggins and the idea of eliminating weakness. It's just a good practice because emotional garbage can slow you down. I see it as something pragmatic to do my motivation doesn't come from fear I see death as a normal natural part of life. Not to be scared of. Not to be ran towards. So if the cause is worth it. Like protecting my family. I'll fight to the death and I'm good with it. I'm not fighting fair. I also take good care of myself and don't go seeking confrontation.
Find youself another INTJ or an INTP...THIS comes from a professor of psychology and so eone who did exactly that. These partners were exactly what I meeded and wanted the first INTJ til his death 41 glorious years...the second i to the end of our first year a lovely relatio ship...they have even MORE difficulty finding a mate!
@@EternityUnknown Why should I? 🤨 Joking... I'm already familiar with it. There was an experiment done with people being herded into a room with a table with doughnuts on it and no one would take the first doughnut. I had to laugh because I had been in that situation and taken the first doughnut, no problem.
It's definitely a weak point that deserves further development. Both external feeling (empathy) and external sensing (awareness) are our bottlenecks. By developing these things we can become more effective at dealing with others.
Out of curiosity, what are your political viewpoints as an INTJ. I am conservative, but I find a lot of political rhetoric on both sides to be illogical, fallacious dribble. Do other INTJ's agree with me?
Do your research and you will see it is all lies. Europe and Christianity are the biggest victims. And any other country that supported Christianity. Nagasaki was bombed by the US in WWll. It was Catholic. Czar Nicolas...murdered. He was Christians. Marie Antoinette and her husband- Christians The 1960s was an attack on Christianity. Hippy revolution Vatican l was changed to Vatican ll Kennedy Brothers murdered. Pres Diem of S Vietnam was murdered. Plus look at how many times the number 10 was used. The length of time to destroy a society.
We’re super logical and will tell people bluntly that their way of doing something or way of thinking is pretty dumb and dangerous to themselves and everyone around them. It rubs close minded people the wrong way (especially bigots) 99.9% of the time and makes us unlikable in a lot of social circles 🤣.
Although I find this material accurate, I wouldn’t say that these features make my life hard. For sure it would be nice to have better social skills, once I competed against my colleague to get a promotion, and she was chosen. Feedback for me was that I am more skilled at nearly all of the requirements for the new position than her, but she has better social skills and that’s why she has been chosen.
If someone ask me about something i start thinking , why he asked me like that , why he is looking there while asking , why his voice like that , why he asking me now, what if someone told him ... , what if he is thinking .. , and i then have a conclusion , but guess what ? Its not true it wasnt compilcated as i was thinking . It was too sily .
my uncle is gentle and strict at the same time but I've never had a chance to be with him up close. He sleeps a lot and is busy at work. My one fond memory of him as a young boy. He made me imagine there was someone living and operating his watch and his name was 'John'.
"I would actually be a great supervillain if it weren't for the fact that I have zero desire to completely dominate a world inhabited by abject morons..." -- INTJ
As an INTJ I don't care about any negative consequences to others but also as an INTJ and one versed in personal development I can 'influence' (ie. manipulate) others to manage their stupid feelings
