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#RebeccaZung I have see most of your videos in 3 days now and trying to make a full diagnosis. Is covert narcissist and covert passive - aggressive narcissist are the same? They knowing what are they doing? Do they have consciousness of what they are doing or why? They want to be change deeply? Even if they understanding it somehow, can they change at all? Its my mother. If you can please answer me. Your videos have help me A LOT! and now, i know how and why i get thru all this hell. Thank you!!!
Alright!! Got ta. Get on up. Thanks and I'll try moving my stuff back into the guest room. To give her space. So she can relax better from all the stress of my 😉Being behind on bills. And my spider webs on the balcony😧 how the he'll are those mine. Really now I'm Spiderman. Then where were my Spicdy Senses.
5) confidence, self-assured 4) keep emotionally distanced from them, play offense instead of defense 3) maintain independence 2) set strict boundaries 1) show them that you are not afraid of them, they are more afraid of you
I agree with you they never respect you but if you can get them to fear you then I know they will leave you alone. I have things about him that I have never repeated and he has the fear inside of him that I will. he said if you ever tell anybody about this it will destroy me. all I would have to do is start talking if he ever comes near me again. and he knows that.
That sounds like the alpha way to deal with it and making them fear you.. that’s not a good goal to set for yourself. That will only be food for the flying monkeys.. no my friend, they must respect you as their superior
They often brag about how they pulled a fast one on someone or broke some law. Make them think it's OK so they reveal more stuff. Pretty soon you have a dossier of wrong doing on them. Then when you finally have a bust up they suddenly realise you have a lot on them which they never thought you would use against them. If they do threaten you, tell them they aren't in any position to threaten you, not with the stuff you have on them
The emotional distance step is very important. Once they know what makes you react, they'll plot scenarios that trigger you then point and say "See? You're crazy/unstable/mentally ill" etc, etc. Of course, they are describing themselves.
Yesss... I had everything going for me years ago when I had seen many red flags that everything inside me told me NOT to give her a 2nd chance when we had never dated. But she was my love at first site that destroyed me on what she did to me but still held myself accountable and also didn't judge her for it but was disappointed... Now when I came back, I was just still so hesitant on the whole thing considering we were having a son and it was just completely happening all at once. I made my mistakes of course but also when you are dealing with someone like this and don't know what you're dealing with, which I never even knew what narcissist MEANT till a few months ago when she called me a narcissist... Then it dawned on me on what this actually meant, and I'm telling y'all. I'm completely disgusted of myself!!! I pray that God forgives me for keeping our son from her till we go to court because the behavior she's already started to do after the break up, literally clarified everything that I've seen and induced up this a week ago. Blocked her number, changed my number and DONT even have love for the person that gave me the greatest give anyone could ever get me. It really hurts and will destroy men that aren't MENTALLY STRONG. Keep God close or get closer to him men!!!
Don't lose yourself to someone that doesn't respect you; instead, let go of that relationship to allow doors to open from someone that deserves you. 💙RU-vidr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Thank you for the tools to deal with this horribly manipulative person. Was married to him for 26 years and newly divorced. I'm so happy that he moved to another state. Freedom at last! I still have to deal with him for the moment. So much fun watching his "covert" little tantrums. Now is my time for healing. I got this, today. Work in progress.
Respect has to be intentional,or does the narcissist fake it,if you don't get it,it's because they need their supply no matter the consequences.If they couldn't use you,they'll abuse you,if you see them,keep your distance,don't always be on the defensive,start going on the attack,because sometimes the best form of defence is attack🆘🚩💲
@@Jackgritty28 Mine is a very long and sad story. You don't stay with someone for 28 years and not love them. I've watched way too many youtube videos on the subject and I honestly have to turn some of them off because they become so hateful toward the narcissist. I understand why my ex is the way he is, because his mother nurtured it in him. He's now coming to terms with that. He says he is "healing" and I tell him to get counseling. I have no doubt he will never change and I've finally set him free in my heart. I only understood what was happening to me in the last year or so, but when I look back over 3 decades I see classic behaviors of narcisism and co-dependency. I thought I had a solid marriage and I was lucky to have him because I was having issues with low self worth and shattered confidence after only a couple of years together. Aww, anyway, I should write a book. I'll always be untangling myself from that abuse. So many layers.
I use to have a neighbor who was a narcissist. A woman whom I made friends with. She was attractive, and there were characteristics in her personality that I liked. After awhile, 2 to 3 months later, as I was talking with her on the phone, she voice an opinion on a matter and I disagreed, but in a friendly manner, and she screamed her head off at me! She couldn't tolerate my opinion! I made the mistake of staying friends with her when I needed to cut it off right then and there. It slowly went bad over the years until I finally cut it off from her. I once told her, she was the most egocentric and narcissist person I ever met. She freaked out! She went into a tirade and screamed, not to call her anymore. She later called me and I stupidly started to talk to her again. One time I straight out called her a b**ch on the phone out of anger. I later called her and apologized, another mistake. How did she respond? She threatened me! I responded, Are you threatening me? She had no answer. Before I apologized to her, and after I called her a B, she became afraid of me, yet she knew me for years, and I never made any threatening gesture towards her, or caused her any reason for her to be afraid of me. Narcissists deep down inside of them, are really scared, and cowardly people who might, if they can make it work, benefit from professional help. They are some of the most out of touch people in existence.
@@RebeccaZungEsq You're absolutely right, I learned my lesson the hard way. If I run into anyone whom I think are narcissists, I immediately go no contact. It's the best way to save your sanity. Thanks for your video, it has some good insights.
This is why I keep to myself. I moved into a new apartment about 2 yrs ago and I am cordial with my neighbors, a simple hello how are you, a wave, but that is the extent. I know narcs will force themselves onto you with instant "friendships" so I don't give anybody opportunity. But then again, I cherish being an introvert.
This one sounds like my relationship with my daughters mother in law. Unfortunately I have to spend more time with her than I d like. Everything is ok as long as I dont say anything but this is not the way I want my granddaughter to see me. Yep I am in control. No more mrs. Nice guy.
@@RebeccaZungEsq Empaths Have Compassion & Show Compassion For Others & All Life Forms - Animal - Plants Etc - Narc Lacks Empathy & This To Me Is A Very Dangerous Trait - The Fact That Their Highly Dysfunctional Abusive Behaviour Turns Them On Is Alarming Frankly
Absolutely 💯. Once I gained my power back he began to glitch. I kept pushing through despite his mental,verbal and guilty attacks. There was so much resistance between us when we had interactions. It's a mindset. I could feel myself in a capsule protecting myself from his attacks trying to drain my energy.
Showing them that you are not afraid of losing them is ultimate control. This seems even more powerful than showing less fear of them as a person. At core they are spineless weaklings, desperate addicts using others as a fix. Nonchalance and disinterest is real power over a crumbling emotional meth head.
its weird, its like turning yourself into a designer drug. most of what the list is composed of is what todays society would consider a high Value Man/Woman. I really dont think it would be a good idea to be with someone so superficial. but atleast you know what you're getting yourself into
I was married to one of these monsters and I made the mistake of paying for all the renovations of our house with MY credit cards since he didn't have any. Needless to say, when he divorced me, I barely escaped with my life and left being tens of thousands of dollars in debt. Decades later, I am still in severe debt and in a constant battle against depression, anger and hurt.
@@joanngross786 my ex husband stole most of my assets and committed bank fraud in my name by forging my signature- 10 years later he is now facing charges because I found banking documents and other legal documents that prove his crimes. I never should of let him have any financial control either -that’s why I made the comment so I get how you feel too
Yes, especially for women, who are often educated to be dependent: your own job, bank account, car if possible (or at least learn to drive, don't depend on him to drive you). Your own friends. Your way of breaking free.
Last but not least one command of respect is to leave the narcissistic relationship,let karma conception flow, don't entertain a clown and be part of the circus, maintain the distance.
I’d add that if CONTACT is necessary, take as much time as you need before replying the “text/email/call”, preferably avoid the call and keep everything written, never “react” replying quickly, take a day or two if possible and respond as briefly as possible, if the answer can be given with an emoji (e.g.👍), even better
I’m in control! Rescind your heart space, attention & energy and direct it inside for yourself and only those beautiful souls who give you all the feels…who truly reciprocate the love you offer them. ✨🙌
@@lynnolmsted4698 No, they want's to control, destroy and dim another humans light ‼️It's been said from a Godly perspective, that Narcissistic abuse makes us stronger, you really find your own worth, when someone works hard to destroy you‼️I have educated myself on the topic Narcissisism for 3 years, grew up as a Scapegoat of two Narcissistic parents, and has been heavily Gangstalked for a decade, monitored, ppl taken themselvs into my home when I'm out, sleepdeprivation, the Flying Monkeys of an earlier Narcissistic landlord have moved into neighbour flats everywhere I moved in, it's into the Police register, neighbours is being thrown out bcs the sound torture they have put me tru at nights‼️I'm stronger than ever‼️💎Starseed
Love the declaration Of Indepencence! Btw, the malignant narcissist having a tantrum on the floor is a special kind of hell when they're in the condo overhead.
My narcissist asks me for money even though he has a good job, I have learned to say NO... he really gets upset with me but slowly I have just learned to stop being scared when he reacts from me saying NO...
Dealing with this right this minute. My husband works, makes great money and has 3 bank accounts with money in it. He asked me yesterday to borrow money and I told him NO for the 1st time. We had a big blow out and now he's giving me the silent treatment.
I live with my 1/2 sister. She's exactly like what you've described. If I detach myself emotionally, she gets angry because I'm not making her feel like its all about her. She loves people making her feel like she's better than anyone else. She thrives on attention. I definitely need help with dealing with her. She has made me feel neurotic and put me in a major depression. If she cleans, she wants recognition even though she lives here. She has tantrums all the time. If I didn't need her money for half of the rent and utilities, I'd kick her out. I usually just keep quiet so I don't give her anything else to blow up about.
Do whatever you can to not live with a narcissist, no matter how badly you need the money. Is "she made me feel neurotic and put me in a major depression" worth the money and stress to live with her? These people destroy your lives - get them out!
A narcissist doesn't have any respect for you or anybody else! You will wonder to yourself why did I ever trust this person? You will go down a dark hole with a narcissist friend, who you will learn isn't a friend after all! Just a jerk who doesn't know how to really love you in the first place and who only thinks of women like a supply or a Object or a thing to use as they see fit to do with you! So if you are experiencing this kind of disfunctional relationship I would suggest that you go and seek a therapist and a good Therapist To help you deal with this problem! And may God be with you in this most difficult time in your life!
I found that if I turn their agressive and digging remarks into some fun and give a big smile they step back surprised. Yes, they can see I am not afraid of them. It is one of the most important tactics, I suppose. Thank you for all the help and support you give to people. 🍀🍀🍀
We're all in control of the manipulator. Keep a healthy distance and try to get back to your plans that day, so they haven't taken over your happiness.
I AM in control! My ex on occasion can’t control himself since I flipped the script: He periodically shouts “You think you’re so in control of this situation!”. I just stare blankly at him.
I am in control of my own life so glad i never relied on him for anything he relied on me for everything a pure taker selfish unkind heartless deffo believe they are empty souls
I was self assured, just graduated as an engineer starting my career when I met my narc. After marrying him and specially after my daughter was born and I quit my career to raise her the abuse started. 20 years later I am struggling to pick up pieces and put myself together. It took that long to get away from him.
5 ways to command respect from a Narcissist(my notes) 1. Confidence in self-assured people. 2. Keep emotional distance from them. We are no longer allowing them to control us. Keep your cool. Say I'm in control. They don't hand power over your soul. 3. Maintain your independence. Start to put your boundaries. Keep your independence in every way that possibly can. Go here and there, read a book etc. Start doing things for yourself. I declare my independence for myself.
Continue... Create Your vision of what it is that you want. You almost forget what you want, your perfect life. Think about it like a GPS. 4. Set your boundaries. That's how you command respect. They will have a tantrum. It's like having a tantrum on the floor. They think the parents will give in. Scare tactic. They want you to be afraid. Stick to your boundaries. 5. The most important one. Show them that you are NOT AFRAID OF THEM. They are more afraid of you than you are of them. They love to see you squirm, they love to see you react because they feed off of that. If you cut off the supply source then they won't be there. Down the road they'll move on. Show them that nothing that they are doing will bother you. They are like vultures. They need something to feed off of.
I'm in control I'm not afraid now I will have my life back now I won't be manipulated and belittled anymore or feel guilty or blaming myself for past 15years !!!
Rebecca you are also like Jesus who said the devil is a narcissist and explains how to deal with them. Very correct and a spiritual warrior you are to me.
Thank you Rebecca ! I've been listening to your videos for about a month. I've never had an intimate relationship with a narc before. At 60 years old I met a lady that I thought I could spend my life with...then, well...you know...Thanks again for the clarity !
I didn’t know I was dealing with a narcissist until recently. Three years married helping him with a green card right after we got married l started noticing the change from the love bombing phase 😢.
Thank you very much! This is so true. I have my mother in my mind which until few months ago I would have never thought she was a narcissists. After many analysis in the last months I connected the dots and I recognized she is a narcissists covered by nice words in appearance, which never relate to her actions. I have always maintened a distance from her financially because it was impossible to deal with her, but I was emotionally dependent on her as a mother figure. I cut off everything few months ago and she is begging people around me to forgive her as she will try to recover her mistake. Which she didn't until now. She always saw me as a strong person to rely on and to take advantage of whatever I had. But when it came to support me she never was able to do so, because she was busy taking care of her adults children, who by the way have their own family and never really had problems in their life.
I'm so glad I watched this video. Your comments in the 8th minute sum up my life. I am at a loss. My mum was a prolific narcissist and a horrible person, my childhood was horrendous. My ex and I have 2 daughters and he is the most vile narcissist on the planet. My girls are suffering horrifically after my mum gave my oldest daughter to him when I was arrested for assaulting him when I had finally had enough of the 8 years of horrific abuse I had suffered. I was betrayed in the most soul breaking way and now my daughter's are suffering and I feel like there is nothing I can do. I'm honestly so lost. 😭
Claim your daughter back, and fast! Sure you can get family counseling support or something, where you can state your case. Especially when the sisters want to stay together. The stakes are too high not to try everything before it's too late and he poisons her against you enough to lose touch with her altogether. I'd fight like a sabortooth 🐅 for my child. Good luck!
Get a good, kick a** attorney to fight for your rights. Narcissists can be scared of lawyers if they think it would expose their true rotten behaviour to the public. What u experienced is called a reactive abuse: reacting to your husband's bad treatment after he provokes u n then u get blamed for it. This is often part of the narcissist's manipulative n cunning tactics to land their victim in hot soup by getting them to react. Please find a competent n experienced lawyer to help u. Don't ever let these narcissists separate u from your children - don't give up until u win. Good luck.
Thanks a lot Rebecca for the wonderful powerful motivating trips...I am your follower...dealing with a Narc husband and a lawyer who is helping me with my case and I recently figured out the he too is a narc..
* I request respect in my life , marriage, with my family, children, employment, job, work, company, everything related to my personal, public, private, health, finances, services, and everything related to me . Thank you !
Married to this person for 36 yrs and she divorced me and she ended the msrrage a week before I had surgery and always asking for koney and completely ended with hate and been realy verbally abusive. But it ended,finally so am getting help now,thank you for your advice she herself was a leaga secretary,nothing I did was good and am in control now of my life.
