Which speech can you continue to improve? Timestamp 0:00 Intro 2:46 Proper timing 5:46 What is said is true 7:09 Spoken gently 9:36 Is it beneficial? 11:20 Spoke with loving-kindness
Speaking beneficially. My head spins when people talk about garbage and then repeat the same thing again because I did not give them the response they anticipated. And I especially dislike when people talk....with a mouthful of food. I immediately concentrate only on my plate before me and block out the visual and auditory around me. I've become quite adept at this. I also close my eyes, breathe and meditate while enjoying my food.
The World Is About To End! Read Revelation in the Holy Bible all the prophecies are being fulfilled this is the apocalypse Jesus is coming repent and become born again Christian.... believe Jesus died and rose again to pay for your sins and ask Jesus to be your personal Lord and Savior and fill you with his Holy Spirit and power get baptized in Jesus name for the remission of sins.... Jesus is the only way to Heaven and to escape from going to Hell 🔥 share ........
I find this to be one of the hardest paths to practice, emotions can make it so difficult! Very important topic and you've covered it masterfully as always, I always look forward to your uploads as I've learned so much from them. I hope this comment finds you happy, healthy and well my friend ♥
Thank you so much for your channel THANK YOU Recently I had a realization that seems to be working, at least for me. Many parents of older children ( 30'ish on up) struggle with the way their children are living their lives. I realized that by that age they have heard all the advice and pushing to change what they are doing. They've heard it and life has been a teacher too They are aware of the WISDOM. If we, as parents, move from our 'teaching and parenting' knee-jerk reaction and turn to Loving them and Sending encouragement, it stops another punch of guilt and hopelessness. Remember the incredibleness of this child, we can easily say "I know you are going to figure this out. And I love you." When I tried it, there was a shift of energy between us and 'she is figuring it out' If this is not good advice, please forgive me. Thank You
I feel what I could work on more, and what I have been working on over the past few years, is the "Is it beneficial" question. I am a teacher at heart (as well as a lifelong student in many areas I'm passionate about) and love to share what I have learned, but now I wait until I am asked before trying to "educate" someone who is not looking to be "educated".
Ven. Nick you are my favourite you tuber. I get so much out of what you put into your videos. Thank you so much for all the work and thought that goes into sharing your wisdom.
Thank you for sharing this wisdom! As I was taking notes I also realized that these things apply to speech to ourselves as well, especially the truthfulness (a more objective perspective), spoken gently, and spoken with loving-kindness. Just wanted to put that idea out there for anyone who sees this!!
I love how you phrase it as "they can't hear you" instead unwilling to hear you, or being antagonistic or deliberately difficult like it's all too easy to assume. It makes total sense that if someone is upset or overwhelmed they won't be able to fully process what someone else is saying even if they would otherwise want to. And if I may add a bit to "is it beneficial?" (which is also a good point), that just because the person saying it *thinks* it's beneficial to the person they're talking to doesn't necessarily mean it actually is. It's not always easy to find out that our brilliant suggestion wasn't actually helpful at all, but sometimes it's not and it's no one's fault, it's just life.
And thoughts are just thoughts-they don’t always have to be front and center. Thank you Ven. Nick for these wise reminders. I have “blurt it out” disease and need to slow myself down to catch myself.🤭Blessings to you🩷🌸🌸🌸🌸🌿
Great vid Thank you so much , I always try to remember the words of the Buddha: " speak only if you have to add something to the silence..." I am practicing...😉
I'm a Brazilian guy who's very interested in Buddhism and Buddhist practices, and I must say that your videos have been making me more aware of this doctrine and more and more interested. From the bottom of my heart, accept my thanks and regards.
Greetings LP Nick 🙏🙏🙏Namo Buddhaya Namo Dhammaya Namo Sanghaya🙏Namo Amitabha Buddha🙏truth wisdom share right there thank you for the insight and teaching LP Nick 🙏 Have a great week ahead 🙏Sadhu🙏🙏🙏
Good Morning.... I needed to hear this video. I struggle speaking with thought and intention - Your video has given me much to work with and think about.
All of your suggestions! My speech has been more times helpful but not always wise. I hav knowingly used it as a tool to my frustrations through a very words. Very unwise many times. Truth: ppl listening & timing as to sharing & sharing w a kind heart should be my focus. Thank you again for your kind guidance…all the way from Disney World.🦋❣️
Thank you Ven Nick for this video. I can already think of so many ways I can improve the way I interact with other people. Right timing was a point that I really needed to be honest. I've always found myself talking out of turn, just because something popped into my head. I realise now that before I speak, I must take a moment to reflect on whether this is the right time to speak, or whether I should wait for a better, more appropriate time.
I agree that emotions are difficult to manage. But with practice it actually becomes easier and especially with age. I also find to speak plainly or simply helps to negate strong emotions. Thinking black and white helps. The last one is very difficult because I can easily fall into a trap into excuses for our behavior. None of it is easy but I find understanding the world incredibly easy than before.
Another wonderful piece of dharma. Speech is such an important interface with the world -- and should be guarded and mindfully sent out or withheld. As a therapist and Buddhist, who focuses on DBT (Zen) interventions, I love how clear and edifying your content is. Be happy, healthy and blessed Nick!
This teaching comes in timely and all the others that Lung Por had taught were all good lessons to learn and practice as a Buddhist. As for the speach, tone and wisom to convey rightly, It is not easy to do so, will still try to exercise on it to get it into my daily systems. Thank you for all your sharings, teachings and being a Mentor to me. 🙏🙏🙏
Anyone else waiting patiently for Ven. Nick's next video? This channel is currently my sangha, so I very much look forward to each new opportunity to learn. Namaste fellow subscribers 🙏
🙏 Thank you Venerable Nick. Your wise words resonate. My speech improves; with more thought, honesty and sometimes, bizarrely, silence.😂 However, I cannot imagine a time when I will be able to go for the difficult conversations - I'm a bit of a coward really and will hold my tongue too often.
Thank you nick. Will be having a difficult conversation on Tuesday. Will bear your teachings in mind as I have listened to you but it's not that easy when you are dealing with controlling trouble makers. I am trying but I'm not at the place you are at,... but I am listening and trying. Will think of you when sitting down and talking calmly without reacting. Thank you 🙏
Ah yeah, most conflict in my life arises from my delivery of things, I’m autistic and understanding my own tone and what it sounds like to others is extremely difficult for me. Often people hear a tone they don’t like and refuse to listen to the actual words I am using, like I said it causes majority of the conflicts I experience. It’s good advice, just hard for me personally to hone that skill
Beneficial....yes, what i say would be beneficial, but sometimes my partner does not want to take my suggestion or change. Thats when i have to be gentle or be quiet. This is a bit difficult, but i am learning. Thank you for this valuable wisdom. ❤
Dear Nick, thank you for this interesting video and your supportive work. I always follow you. If I can give some advice for recording videos, it's best to record not close to the road. Road noise distracts the listener, making the listening experience less fluid and pleasant. Thank you for listening to me and again for these beautiful contributions.
I agree with you, the road noise is a little distracting. But we can also use this distraction as a tool. For me, I often have trouble focusing during meditation, so by trying to focus on the words Nick is saying, ignoring the road noise, I am using this small issue or distraction as a tool to improve other aspects of my practice.
My favorite sutra about talking to people is the one that goes through various comparisons like "I won't get angry and he won't get angry and I think I can lift his view up so I will speak." Or "he won't get angry but I will, still I think I can teach him so I will speak." Ending with "He'll get angry and I'll get angry and I don't think I can teach him anything," so then just treat him with common courtesy and say nothing. Lol, I don't think there's any situation they haven't seen in the monasteries in 2600 years.😊
Is it worth practicing considering everything you say, before you say it? Like choosing your words wisely, instead of letting an unending stream of mouth-diarrhea flow everyday? I mean, if you said less words, but they were more wisely considered, you'd be heard more, because ppl would know that when you speak, its because you actually have something of value to say? Trying to convey the same message as normally, but with fewer and more wisely chosen words? I dont know if I explained this very well, but what are your thoughts Nick?
I'm deaf and hard of hearing. I lost my hearing in my 40's.❤ I'm completely deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in my other ear.❤ I've been going to school for ASL. Communication is so difficult for me since I lost my hearing. I truthfully don't want to talk anymore. I don't like to talk to begin with. I'm an introvert by nature. I'm a lone wolf by natural nature. I'm tired of people trying to change how I am naturally. I prefer to write, text or use American sign language. ❤ Please give me some insightfulness, wisdom, knowledge and suggestions on these very difficult circumstances.
That makes sense why you would want to isolate. Sometimes we need alone time, but also sometimes we need interaction. Just try to find a balance of both :)
I have a question Ven Nick! How do we know if what we might say is helpful ahead of time? Many times I thought the thing I was going to say would help but I’m met with anger or frustration. 😢
one way I think about what I say is : would I want what I say/said to be lead news story on local news where all my friends would hear it, or family if you have them
Could you please help me with something? We had a mouse problem in the house, and I was forced to use a lethal mouse trap (nothing else was available, and we had to go to a trip). When I saw the dead mouse in the trap, I've been crying for two hours. The mouse was so beautiful and perfect... I could never even kill a fly. This hurts so much. I really didn't have the right to decide wether it lives or not.
You have a very kind heart. Forgive yourself and move forward. Know that this was a lesson, and it will have a different outcome the next time. (I have the exact same regret)
My mind starts racing whenever i wanna meditate. My thoughts seem so loud. Going from one topic to another. Meditation doesnt make em slow down, just make em louder. Your thoughts on this?
What would you do if someone is not allowed to stay in contact with you and you can’t deal with it? If you think that what they told you as a reason is not acceptable for you but you can’t change it anyway? How is it possible to accept it then?
One more thing to add: When words comes out of your mouth... Those words are not yours any more ... They become the property of the other person / receiver
