For those who don't have time to watch the whole video: 1. Analyze the density of the poem by measuring the mass on a well-calibrated balance and the volume by water displacement in a graduated tub. 2. Do a qualitative flame test by liquifying a small amount of the poem and ignting with a Meker (or Bunsen) burner to confirm the presence of certain ions. 3. Test the caloric content of the poem using a 1 L bomb calorimeter (mind your ventilation and PPEs to avoid breathing metaphor). 4. Test the air resistance of the poem using a subsonic, closed-return wind tunnel--or if your wind tunnel is occupied, a comparative free fall test in a vacuum tube. 5. Apply a current to the poem and monitor emission lines with an optical spectrometer. 6. Measure halflife of the poem using a Geiger-Meuller Counter and an exponential fit.
