The post binge anxiety is the worst, I'm still struggling and had a bender at the weekend, woke up yesterday morning with severe anxiety and left over food in my kitchen, I dont remember ordering or eating, couldnt even make it into work the last 2 days, Your lucky to be out of the chaos
Thank you! Every relapse for me results in ordering or cooking food, taking a couple bites and the disgusting dirty dishes just pile up in the sink. When I’m sober I can’t stand to have even a coffee cup being dirty. 🫣
@@jonathanturkmusic yeah I can't understand the things drunk me does, like once i woke up and there was half a pizza in my sink, with a lot of the cheese ripped off, I must have just eaten the cheese and threw the rest in the sink for some reason🙁
Ha ha, 62?? I was questioning myself because I am sure in one of your previous videos you mentioned your age group. I can't remember which video though. You have such a brilliant voice and vocabulary. Recently I was very poorly for a few days and listened to a lot of your longer videos, as your voice is calming and dignified. I am so very glad that you reached a milestone. All the very best and thank you. Michaela.
There's a great turn of phrase in this video-- if you're treating your anxiety with alcohol, your anxiety is "accruing interest." Your little nest egg of humble frets is slowly gestating into full-blown anxiety crisis. By the time I was finally finished drinking I couldn't be moved from my spot except by the ticking clock of withdrawal; a sense of impending doom saturated every sober moment. My greatest gift in sobriety is one that you touched on-- the gift of being able to make myself understood. Before I started drinking, I had a very fine vocabulary and very well-mannered speech. I stopped using both of those things because I didn't want to tip anyone off that I was drunk. The thoughts of a drunk alcoholic are abstract runes that only the author can interpret. You lose the ability to make yourself clear and precise; you are whisked away by tangents, you struggle to find the right word, words get combined or truncated, you get stuck in recursive thought loops. Your head is the only place you are well-understood, and that is a very lonely situation indeed. I am so grateful that my capacity for language and speech returned to me in sobriety. I'm with you on the public celebration of milestones, Bat Country. It makes me personally very uncomfortable. Keep in mind though that the celebration is not necessarily just for you, but for the people who are rooting for you-- the people who are invested in your continued good health and sobriety. I'm rooting for you, and proud of your milestone.
Thanks so much for such a considered reply. I take no small amount of pride in my ability to communicate, and that's the first thing alcohol attacks in me. And that's true of whatever your given speciality is. If you're a mechanic, it makes your hands imprecise. If you're an athlete, it attacks your focus. If you're a build, it makes you sloppy. Whatever your best ability is, alcohol is quick to take it away from you. I hate the stuff.
Oh man, the anxiety of alcoholism is pure hell. You numb your anxiety whilst you are drinking, well, it lowers it, but when you run out or have to stop; the sheer weight of the anxiety that comes is almost too much to bare. Great video brother.
@@_BatCountry I think my anxiety got worse after spending a few years as a hardcore alcoholic. Which doesn't really surprise me. I honestly don't remember what my anxiety felt like when I was drinking 20+ drinks a day.. but I know that it's never been as bad as it is now. Maybe it was all those years spent hiding away from people. I upped my lexapro dose to 20mg and it's been noticeably helpful which is a silver lining. Lexapro mostly numbs my imposter syndrome. Anywhere i go I feel like I don't really fit in even though I belong just as much as anyone else.
It's not strictly gained but rather re gained and that's my relationship with my partner, we've been together 11yrs 4 of those were spent with me being drunk or hung over almost all the time, we'd hardly speak some days, I'd stagger in and start cooking some frozen pizza after he'd already gone to bed, we hardly did anything on weekends together, I was drinking from when I woke up, I didn't care how I looked so we never went out as he didn't want to be seen with me, it was dreadful for both of us and with me thinking no one cares about me made my drinking worse but actually it was my drinking forcing him away. Since sobriety we talk all the time, hug, go out, we've started cycling together, text while at work, plan things. It's amazing to have someone to come home to and it's amazing for him to have someone he likes coming home again. There's a list of things that have improved but that is the biggest and most important to me.
The mornings are are amazing.. no anxiety no being ashamed of the shit you wrote/said to others. I would avoid checking or opening messages,whatsapp,snap anything social media related..
That's a horrible feeling, isn't it? Living in constant shame and embarrassment, afraid of people getting in touch with you in case it's more bad news. Don't know about you, but I'm glad to be rid of it.
62 !? No way! At the very most I would have guessed 42! You rock man. I found your channel just a few months back. I make sure I have nothing else pending when I watch your videos because I want to really listen and enjoy them. 2 years and a few months here. My recovery is my greatest gift.
Ah man maybe I was being too subtle but that was a joke, I'm 39. Now I feel bad :D I really appreciate the compliments though, and huge congratulations on your own sober time. I love your gratitude for it.
My god man, what a great video. I agree with all of the things on your list, as I’ve gotten all those gifts also. You asked what my biggest gift has been personally… Self respect. When I was trudging through life as a low bottom alcoholic, I had none. I thought of myself poorly and I knew everyone else thought of me poorly. I hated myself and I had no respect for myself. I drank instead of cleaning myself or doing any kind of personal hygiene. I didn’t care. I drank instead of cleaning up or doing dishes or throwing away pizza boxes and empty vodka bottles. I didn’t care. I drank instead of worrying about my family and our relationships. I didn’t care. All I cared about was the acquisition and consumption of vodka on a 24 hour a day basis. Finally getting sober and remaining sober made me start caring about everything. And everyone. I care so much. And I have so much to do….and the time to do it all. I am now a man who rightfully carries himself with dignity and self respect. The reason why I have that feeling is because I have nothing to hide from anyone anymore - nothing to be ashamed of - I am healthy, I look well, I am reliable, employable, respectable and present. And my family loves me for it. And my coworkers and neighbors like me for it. To me personally, having real self respect and real confidence is priceless and all the other good stuff flows from it. Sobriety gave me all of that. And I intend to keep it. All of it.
Ooof... I should print that and put it on my wall. Reading that is good medicine. That is truly inspirational. Huge congratulations to you for getting out of it, you should wake up feeling proud every morning.
It is comments like these.. and channels like these.. that are finally helping me get a grip on this addiction. I'm not entirely there yet.. but I'm growing. And I'm thinking a lot harder before each drink. I hope to be completely af ASAP. But thank you both ❤
I AM 62 and today is my birthday, I am 100% truthful when I say that, What an interesting thing to have happen today!! I consider this a priceless gift. Thank you. This is an example of a higher power at work@@_BatCountry
Another valuable, v informed post! Congrats on your ongowing sobriety. Im 42 days sober today which is (in "The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy") the meaning of life. 🎉
9 days sober today! While my alcoholism was never severe and I was lucky to have stopped just a few years after I developed a problem (I'm only 25), its still incredibly hard to go to a store or walk past a bar. I've had many relapses. Unfortunately my eastern European country has a huge drinking problem and its hard to avoid alcohol literally everywhere, despite laws being passed to make alcohol less accessible. Even in the stores they put multiple alcohol shelves near the exit so you cant even enter or exit a store without passing by alcoholic sections.
Congratulations. And I feel you. It was very hard to be sober when I lived in Croatia, we would drink in the office and at lunch. Stick at it, every drink you don't have gives you an advantage over everyone around you.
😂 You're so funny (your tooth). First and only laugh of the day so thank you brother. X Are you really 62? Jesus, you look 42! I love your videos; keep up the great work. You're much appreciated. ❤❤❤
Congrats on the milestone brother! I'm around the length of time I would relapse but with the lifestyle.change of working out everyday, dieting ,not eating sugar bread pasta ect , quit cigarettes I almost forgot about my milestone! I feel so grateful and thankful I found what works for me. Congrats brother and many more to come! Joey from Florida!
Love your videos. The experience you share will help many people, me aswell. Depression, PTSD, panic anxiety.. Could destroy anyone. I'm glad you're still here.
I have been watching your videos because I found them interesting but if you’re 62, why in your video titled “my alcoholic rock bottom” you say in 2018 you were 33????
10th day sober, nothing big apparently; but I saw my friends for the first time in two months and a half, and I didn't have a sigle drop. And back home I wrote my best song in the last two years, because I was clearminded. F*ck that shit, seriously. Should have done this a while ago.
Congratulations, Stuart. I quit counting days because I wasn't ready to stop until a month ago. DD's channel is good and raw. He's painfully honest. Good topic and a really good video.
@@_BatCountry I don't hear much of a difference. In fact, the quality is fine. I have noticed on a few videos when you are using your Rode setup a "hollow" quality. But hell, I use a Bower shotgun mic on top of my Canon RP. I will probably get a decent lav mic soon. Until I move to a new apartment where I can make a better "studio" - I just don't have the room for a Rode setup with or without a boom.
@@ShadesOClarity Yeah, in one of those videos I had screwed it into the mount wrong and was talking to the back of the mic! Hahahahahah i've been meaning to reshoot that one at some point
@@_BatCountry What sucks is me nailing a good video only to have this horror revealed: I forgot to power on the mic. All you can see is my mouth spewing out this and that with zero audio. It only happened once, but it won't happen again. I would try to write drunk and it was shite and I would try to write in withdrawal to put my thoughts down had no cohesion with tons of errors. Ugh. All that crap can bugger off. I am becoming that Brit you want.
Congratulations dude, I only stopped counting because I ran out of fingers n thumbs 😂, I’m joking. Keep going dude. I like to imagine sometime that it’s like a vid game and everyday you make the benefits get multiplied, the longer you go the better the rewards. Much love anyways ❤
I think of it like that too, but I'm not sure that's good for me. I don't know how I feel about gamifying my sobriety, but I suspect that works for a lot of people!
Stu, I got a recommendation from a guy in Aldi who said that the Austin's summer punch was not as alcohol laced as previous versions and gone downhill in his opinion. My god I'm back with the Demons circling me for meat.
Congratulations on your achievement Look forward to further absolutely engaging stories As a bit of a film fan I got the “Bat Country” from Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas In this episode “Chaos Reigns” reference from LVT Antichrist I’d love to know if you have the inclination Your Favorite Top 5 Films of All Time All the best from Sydney 👍🏼
17 days sober today man, one thing I've noticed and am grateful for is the decrease in anxiety, it was so horrible and i didn't realize that alcohol was causing most of it until I quit. Thanks for another insightful video, and congrats on your milestone!
@@_BatCountry pretty good man, honestly, sleeping better, eating more, anxiety way down. Still keeping my head on a swivel, thanks to you and a few other sober oriented content creators, I'm very much aware of the "pink cloud" in early sobriety, my last relapse was 20 days in so I feel like I have a good idea on what to be aware of internally. Keeping a journal has helped immensely with dealing with cravings, just writing down that it's occuring helps get it out, then I try to get busy doing something after writing. I dunno, just feeling a lot more positive this time around.
You’re such a likable person!! Honestly I think some of the most charming and interesting people tend to have or have had a problem with alcohol. It’s really interesting.
Aww you're so kind :) And yeah, I find people in recovery have the most humility. Something about the process of examining the pieces of yourself as you put yourself back together.
@@_BatCountry So true, I am almost 10 mos sober and I have to say the one thing good about having been a problematic drinker and trying and failing to quit is it gave me humility and empathy that I may have not developed in any other way.
Great video, it's always good to see your videos. Congrats on being sober. A thing that goes through my mind about being peaceful, well, when i was drinking in the bars, i got involved in bar fights more often than i want to admit. Got hurt and did hurt others, i was even lucky that it never escalated to the point where it would have had serious consequences like prison, that happens faster than many people think. With this, you can lose everything, your family and friends, the lady, job, home etc.
I still honestly don’t no weather some ov the mad thing I did in the madness were real or we mental dreams I’m 4 and a half years sober I love my aa meeting and sticking around my aa friends 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
i went through the same anxiety before I got sober its like being in hell I used to think maybe I was the only one that felt like a cat on a hot tin roof after a bender i even had chest pains
Yeah those chest pains and little heart flutters are pretty scary, right? You spend a lot of time after a bender wondering if you're about to have a heart attack. It's no way to live. Thanks for the comment mate.
I was going to say "good job" but didn't want to make your blood boil lol. I don't count the days anymore. I can tell you however that it's been 178,560* minutes since I had a drink ;) x *4m 2d
Was that a LOTR quote at the end? Interestingly though horribly I often felt somewhere between the possessed Theodin King and Gollum in active addiction. Whilst I don’t like birthdays and I usually keep them quiet. I’m not exactly celebrating but I am carefully observing a year’s sobriety this week. Your videos have been a source of support on this journey and I will continue to watch. Every days a bonus compared to that old life even if it’s not a great day I am better at dealing with it. Thank you! 🙏
That comparison absolute resonates with me, and it requires absolutely no explanation. That is perfect. Careful congratulations on your milestone mate.
Thank you for this, Stuart. Having more time during sobriety allows me to address my anxiety, mainly through exercise, and to address my head goblins rationally whilst being fair to myself.
@@_BatCountry It's like a cross between a jog and a wobble for about 5 miles daily and I try to incorporate a few hills; movement helps my blood glucose levels as well, as I am a Type 2 diabetic, but its mainly for my mental health as I am medicated for anxiety and depression. Keep up the good work Stuart.
Stuart, i failed you. I've failed me, my family and everyone who looks to me for solice and counsel. Why should it be that myself unties my shoelaces when I'm running and trips me up. I'm on the edge of being full blown again. I cancelled an appointment with my alcohol counsellor because my brain had realised that we or i wouldn't be there. Why do we do this to ourselves? I've got that familiar feeling of being pickled in a jar. That fuzzy cloud feeling to my skin and brain. Im trying to think rationally and see this as a setback rather than me as a full blown alcoholic again. Stuart you have no idea how your channel helps people like us. Regards CJ
Congratulations on your milestone!! Love all of your videos my man - I hit 30 days sober a couple days ago and your content has really helped keep me pushing forward.
