I came across this video and I instantly liked how you explained all the things that I wanted to understand, the skills I knew of but partly didn't fully understand it with real emotion you nailed it! This may sound like a clique but you look and speak with a very familiar ways as to my friend that brings insight to things that I never would've thought of! Thank you!
1. 🦾 Visceral connection 2. 🦾 Emotional safety 3. 🦾 Emotional surprise a. A feeling of alive awakening b. Emotional clarity c. Passionate witness 4. 🦾 Engaged curiosity vs stereotyping 5. 🦾 He needs to feel your high value and worth 6. 🦾 Reinforced gratitude 7. 🦾 Unrepressed passion
Gratitude is so important. I make a point of saying "thank you" to my boyfriend, not only for coming to visit me/paying for dinner/doing any favours (though these are all noticed and appreciated), but for the times when he has shared with me something scary, vulnerable, soft, that he has never shared with anyone or would not usually share with his friends. That melts my heart that he sees me as a safe person to share those things with. I love it. Always thank them 🙂
I am so grateful for all your wisdom. You come from an authentic place of empathy and validation. Many of the RU-vid coaches have something to offer but your messages have been the most illuminating. Ive never known a loving relationship in my 40 years. It starts with being rejected and crushed by my parents and continues subconsciously into adult relationships where you realize you've been dating your abusive, neglectful parent for decades. I have no idea what healthy love looks like. Because of you, I also realized Ive been showing up in my masculine energy; my value growing up only existed based on performing, producing, acquiescing to narcissists. Lightbulb moment...I attracted feminine men because I showed up with what I thought was my value; college degrees, competitiveness, toughness etc. My gifts of gentle, creative, loving, nurturing, expressive and romantic femininity have been hidden away because I was taught to not be. Not have needs. Not have a voice. To shut up and serve the narcs. I am healing one moment and realization at a time. Thank you again.
Thank you so much for your generous share and your open heart. I'm grateful my videos are helping you remember your value and your worth. Here's to an amazing 2023! -Bern
It's often a man's fault he doesn't understand why we get upset about things. Because more often than not we have expressed our needs but men just refuse to listen.
I just want to say that I have been listening to your videos for the last two years and you have taught me so much but mostly you backed up what I already knew from the way my mother taught me. So for one, I'm so grateful for my mom and for two, I'm grateful for you because you have filled in so many of the gaps. You have no idea how grateful I am that you have chosen to teach women what's up with men. I have a girlfriend who will never be happy because she believes just the opposite of what you are teaching. She's a queen with no King and thinks that every King should bow to her. She tried telling me that I would never be with my current boyfriend if I didn't take her advise. So ,one day she's trying to tell me this again and finally I stopped trying to be nice and just told her...
Married woman here 20+ years to same man!❤ this truly is needed for every wife. We must learn to play our part, and not let our selves go and tha. Get mad of they go look for attention and love else were.
I said "Look, he's mine already but if I had done it your way, he would not be calling me his Queen. So thanks for the advise but I'm ok.". I never heard another word about it. Here is the cutest part. You had said in one of your videos at the end, you said" if you do these things , he will love you in ways EVEN HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ". It happened EXACTLY like that. That's exactly what he said....lol. I loved it and still do. He is mine for all of time. I would still like to learn more. We're in a long distance relationship and I could really use more help. So , if you should feel inclined to give me some more of that good advise, I would apply it and be ever so grateful. Thanks for all you've done. Keep up the good work....
Thank you so much, Barbara. Long distance relationships ultimately come down to the quality of conscious, proactive, healthy communication between both humans, the ability to see each other in person frequently and having and end in sight + a plan to end the distance part. When any of these elements are missing the relationship becomes an escape or a fantasy.
I will seek that man when I'm interested but if there is no standard and values alignment, I need to move on and I wish him the best. I hope that he does accept the challenge because I know that if he does we will be committed, loyal, loving, and our relationship foundation stronger together.
What to do if man after two dates is asking if we could be friends as he is not ready yet for relationship that involves children? I am a single widowed mum and he also has a son from previous marriage. They divorced 2 years ago. He wants to go slow & develop friendship with me, means seeing each other for coffee, just chat and no expectations. I sense he is valuable man and I feel attracted to him. Shall I give it a go and see what happens? Is a just friendship between woman and man is possible if there is a bit of chemistry from both sides?
A friendship between a man and a woman is possible, however it sounds like you're currently looking for a healthy life partner. If your friendship with this guy will diminish your hunger and your actions to find your guy then it might be an unnecessary distraction.
I think you should invest in the friendship as I think high value guys are more careful before they jump into a romantic relationship. If the tables were turned and I were out there I would also want to develop a friendship with someone before considering them as a romantic partner.
See a guy in public, ask if he will help check something on your car for you......engine oil, a "noise" lol, something. It's literally that simple! I promise you ladies. If anything comes of it, just come out and tell your boundaries early and that's it. It is THAT SIMPLE. We don't play silly games. BOYS play games yes, NO MAN plays silly games.
I have to make peace and understand my standards. My fear is that I shine and become high value then it will attract people I don't want. You're right I don't know what to do with it. I'm working on this and moving on with this energy. I don't want to disappoint and say no because 99% of men arnt my type and that's a relief lol I'm learning to be more smooth and move forward. When I shine a man pulls towards me. Its awkward :(
