I was really hoping to become a foster parent when my children are older and I'm more financially stable. My father was in the system and treated horribly so he always wanted to be a foster parent to show the kids love and protect them until they can go back home, but he passed away when I was 12. I was on the other side of it and 10 years ago my daughter (5 months at the time) was taken into foster care for 2 months because we didn't have a stable, safe home and I had a drinking problem. I had just found out I was pregnant again so I'd quit drinking but we lived with the kid's dad's parents and they all drank one night and even though I didn't and I left with my baby, the state still came the next day to my sister's house and took her. I had to wait 2 months to get into a group home for women and children and we were there a year, I had my 2nd daughter while living there as well. In that year I stayed sober, went to counseling, took parenting classes, got my GED, paid 1000s in fines to get my license back including paying 400 for deep course and their dad worked so we saved for a vehicle, his license, an apt and we went out and bought everything for our own place! We moved in 8 1/2 years ago and gained custody back in November 2013 when our oldest was almost 2 and youngest was almost 1. I've stayed sober and in counseling, I still have PTSD from having to hand my baby over and be apart those 2 months. I've done really well for my children and when you have to fight to keep your children it builds this bond and makes you truly appreciate them that much more. It makes me sad I may never get to be a foster parent because of my past and you'd think that it would just prove how great a parent I can be but I also understand how that could be concerning. Also when I first moved into my place I didn't have custody of my kids, for about 5-6 months I received a stipend! So I'm the kids actual bio parent and they loved with me but I didn't have custody back yet so I got the foster care stipend which was bi weekly, 75 for each child so 300 a month, honestly it really helped! The state or dhhs even sent 50 dollars for each of them in December after we had custody back for Christmas! If you lost your child and truly want them back you need to change, work closely with your permanancy case worker at reunification and they will do everything to try and get you your child back! I saw about 7 other girls and their children go through the group home I was in and I saw one just walk out and one lose her son for good which was really hard to witness but the other girls who fought got their kids back and still have them to this day. Edit: I live in Maine
Thank you for sharing your story! I hope you'd be able to achieve your dream to become a foster parent, I just turn 19 so it will be awhile before I can become a foster parent but before that I will try my best to be financially stable enough so when I turned 21 I can start my journey to become a foster parent
You have an exceptional ambition and a wonderful, inspiring approach. I hope the best for you, your charges, and their future. Succeed everyday in this ambitious undertaking!
Unbelievable seems like they got the process covered pretty well these days I remember horror stories where the family's did live off the stipends and there were too many foster kids in one home and the kids were pretty much left to their own devices especially teenagers not kept track of at all much less loved. Sounds like they came a long way.
May I make a correction on the financial needs because I live in New York state and also with the New York City as well you can be on governmental assistance case SSI and Welfare recipient as a financial background needs as well having a job or under the table work.
Lisa Adams that’s a great question! Every state, county and agency will have different rules on this. I don’t see why it would exclude you from being able to be a foster parent, but your best bet is to call or email your local DSS or foster family agency and ask them! Most of the time, the contact people for those agencies are absolutely wonderful and will have no problem discussing the specifics of your situation and ability to be a FP with you!
Is it possible to get the TIPS-MAPP training if you know you won’t be able to foster? There are children in high conflict custody situations that could really benefit from a parent with trauma based parenting training.
Question about the background check, I have had history with children’s aid but I was the child in that case, I was never placed in the system but I just want to know if that might make it less likely that I will be able to foster.
It shouldn’t! Many former foster youth can become foster parents! It’s only if an adult has a history of abusing or neglecting kids that they will not allow them to become foster parents. ❤️
Sorry. I'd never considered being a foster parent. Seem too many foster parents have their hearts ripped out, because a social worker is controlling and moved the kids to another home, just because
I've been a foster parent for years & never witnessed this. Sounds like you have some misconceptions about how the foster system works. Social workers can't "move kids to another home, just because." Most of the case workers I have worked with are wonderful, caring people. All placements are thought out & many are overseen by a DHS judge.
I was just going to bring up that issue myself. It's sounds like volunteer work. As much as I love taking care of children, I need that extra income to completely satisfy the needs of that child, especially special needs kids. Considering how having a license is required, that's insane to do free work to care for a child temporarily.
The only "benefit" in fostering is the satisfaction you get from being a good person in the life of a child in need. I'm glad that it's set up this way, these kids need someone who's heart is in the right place, and this is just another guarantee of that. Fostering alone is by no means a replacement for a career. If you do want to make a legitimate career out of helping children, counseling is one way to go.
It's my understanding that you get a small stipend (for example, $500/month) to help offset the cost of taking care of the child. This money is intended to go towards the child's needs, such as food and clothing. Foster parenting is not meant to be a money-making endeavor. If you are interested in making money while taking care of children, having your own home daycare, working at a daycare, or babysitting will be far more profitable.
Lots of misinformation in this comment section. I am a foster paren. You are compensated for having foster kids in your house. You won't get rich, but it helps pay most expenses incurred with taking care of the children.
