7 Underrated Habits for a Better Life (and 7 Overrated Habits Too) 

“Self discipline is self-love” I love that

Good self care looks identical to good parenting. Keeping yourself clean. Keeping your environment clean. Making yourself eat your vegatables. Forcing yourself to do things that are in your best interest, regardless of whether you feel like it. Self care = self parenting.

For every like I'll study for 1 hour

Title: 7 Underrated Habits for a Better Life (and 7 Overrated Ones Too) In today's episode, Mark and Drew explore commonly recommended habits for happiness and productivity, categorizing them as overrated or underrated based on their insights and experiences. Underrated Habits: 1. Self-Discipline: Mark emphasizes the importance of self-discipline as a form of self-love. This involves doing things that may be challenging but beneficial in the long run, akin to parenting oneself. 2. Friendship over Romance: Despite societal emphasis on romantic relationships, Mark highlights the underrated value of friendships for mental health and happiness. Single individuals with strong social networks tend to be happier and healthier. 3. Therapy with Caution: While therapy is valuable, Mark warns against its over-reliance and emphasizes the need for compatibility with therapists. Therapy can worsen conditions if not properly managed, and finding the right fit is crucial. 4. Purpose: While having a sense of purpose is essential, Mark suggests that not everything needs to feel purposeful all the time. Mundane tasks can have profound meanings, and not everything requires a deeper purpose. 5. Dance as Therapy: Mark discusses the mood-elevating effects of dancing, suggesting it as an underrated form of therapy. Dancing can significantly improve mood and is an under-discussed method of self-care. 6. Realistic Expectations: Mark advises against idealizing solutions to complex societal issues. Understanding the messiness and imperfections of human systems can prevent disappointment and foster realistic change. 7. Gratitude Journaling: Drew reflects on the benefits of journaling, particularly gratitude journaling, in providing insight and perspective over time. While sporadic, journaling offers valuable self-reflection and personal growth. Overrated Habits: 1. Goal Setting: Mark challenges the emphasis on specific goals, highlighting the importance of the journey over the destination. The value lies in the habits and actions taken, rather than achieving a predefined outcome. 2. Self-Indulgent Self-Care: While self-care is vital, Mark criticizes its portrayal as indulgent activities like spa weekends or extravagant trips. True self-care involves setting boundaries and prioritizing genuine well-being over superficial indulgence. 3. Romance over Friendship: Mark questions the overestimation of romantic relationships compared to friendships. Strong social connections with friends often contribute more to overall happiness and well-being. 4. Cold Plunges: Mark expresses skepticism towards the trend of cold plunges, citing limited long-term data on its benefits. While enjoyable and endorphin-releasing, the scientific evidence supporting its efficacy is questionable. 5. Overuse of Psychedelics: Mark cautions against the overuse of psychedelics for optimization purposes. While they may offer profound experiences, their transformative effects are not guaranteed, and their risks are often overlooked. 6. Overemphasis on Manifestation: Mark critiques the overemphasis on manifestation as a solution to life's challenges. While setting intentions is valuable, unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and disillusionment. 7. Superficial Gratitude Practices: Mark discusses the limitations of structured gratitude practices that feel self-indulgent or insincere. While gratitude is beneficial, genuine appreciation should be cultivated rather than forced. Conclusion: Mark and Drew conclude by encouraging listeners to critically evaluate commonly promoted habits and prioritize those that align with personal values and well-being. By distinguishing between overrated and underrated practices, individuals can cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life. --- This summary captures the main points and supporting details from the provided transcript, highlighting the underrated and overrated habits discussed by Mark and Drew. Let me know if you need more information or further elaboration on any specific point!

I think friendship is underrated but acquaintances are even more underrated. In the last few years I've developed maybe 20 people in my life that I have consistently positive interactions with (even though I wouldn't consider them "friends" per se) and those relationships have improved my life exponentially.

Finland here. If you can email in the sauna, you are doing it wrong. Optimal sauna temperature is between 160°F and 210°F, depending on the size of the room. Also, as you throw water on the stove, the steam will fill your device. There is also a difference between an electric sauna, and the traditional wood and fire-type, but I won't get into that. One of the best things in sauna is the fact that you are unreachable, it's quiet (and preferably softly lit) and you fill your lungs with the warm air, relaxing your mind and your whole body. If you're ever in Finland, traditional sauna is the best thing you can experience.

Romance has derailed more relationships than railed them. That should be the quote of the century

100% agree about therapy, my first therapist was shockingly awful, so judgemental. I reckon she got her qualification from a cornflake packet. Never thought therapy would do any good after my experience with her. Then tried again and was lucky to be allocated an amazing, empathetic therapist, who changed my life.

I love quitting my goals; it’s my favorite part of the day.

5:23 I wasn't into going to the gym, but after you said self-care is like going to the gym when you don't want to go, it made my day.

Dancing, 100% mood booster! I go to a one hour YMCA Zumba class in the middle of my work week, every week, and it truly boosts my mood. Not only is it a great workout, I'm talking 800+ calories burned in the hour, but I have never been happier since I started doing it seven years ago. Underrated habit, everyone should dance!

''all of your worst decisions were made while on romance.'' yep that checks out 100%.

"The second the goal stops being the optimal thing for you to do, that's when you quit, and set a new goal." As a neurodivergent person, very prone to "black and white"/"All or nothing" thinking, the idea that I can change my mind about, or give up on something I wanted, without it meaning I'm a "failure" and that "X goal is just one more thing I tried for and didn't get", is blowing my mind.

Cold plunge - cold water for rich people (Caroline Winkler). Cold showers are just as beneficial.

18:40 19:17 this hit me like a punch in the stomach. I’m obsessed with philosophy and finding the path toward the best possible life and learning all the right things to know and do and how to make every day of my few short decades on earth as meaningful as possible, so much so that it’s made me miserable. I think it’s time to chill out a bit and focus on my one main purpose, which is just being present for my kids. Thank you.

A day of bed rotting is amazing and resets my energy if ive had a particularly tough week or month. After moving, a heavy project at work, a lot of back to back birthdays/events etc. theres def care and health to rest and sometimes a whole day of rest

I have to completely agree regarding saunas. The studies show dramatic drops in all cause death. And that's great, but a sauna feels like a fucking warm blanket, a superior hot tub. I bought a cheap Amazon sauna and it's amazing, lowered my blood pressure, and sleep better. Totally underrated and under used.

As a therapist, I've gotta give you so much credit for breaking down the complexity of what good therapy looks like, & how bad therapy can make things worse. Yes, please, see multiple therapists before you center on one, & be honest about it. You're not going to hurt our feelings by telling us we're not the one for you! Also, one of the other complexities affecting people (at least here in the US) is the problem of accessing mental health treatment. So many people are unable to get good therapy because of low income, bad insurance/no insurance at all, low population-density areas with bad mental health infrastructure etc. I know you don't like to get political, Mark, but I'm gonna encourage people to vote for public officials at the local & federal level who are serious about increasing funding for increased access to mental health services. They're not gonna give it to you unless you tell them how upset you are about not getting it.

As a family medicine physician, I can honestly say that mental disease is completely mistreated, under-diagnosed, and stigmatized with the current medical system in place.

Mark Manson's fresh take on personal development practices is a valuable reminder that personal growth is not one-size-fits-all. It’s important to tailor self-care and goal-setting to fit your unique lifestyle and values, rather than blindly following popular trends. 👍

As a person who went through a psychosis episode due to psychedelics, I'm glad you talk about the dangers of those drugs. I have never suffered from any mental illness before that episode and I followed the majority saying that there is no risk at all with this kind of drugs and took them without awareness of what I was exposing myself. I spent months in psychiatric hospital and 4 years after this, I'm still suffering from post traumatic disorder from this episode. I follow now a spiritual path without any drugs and always get really upset by the number of people I meet on my way who promote drugs as a way to elevate yourself and "awake", it is dangerous and also a very consumerist and indulgent way of seeing drugs and spiritual awakening. Paying to take a magic pill to solve all your problems is not a sustainable solution, the only way to grow is to work on yourself and it is a constitent and sometimes uncomfortable work of a lifetime.

I'm watching this while forcing myself to get on the turbo trainer - it's only a 35 minute workout tonight, but this is me showing up for me

About 5 years ago I destroyed my journals from 1997 to 2018. I had decided that my sporadic heartbreak, outbursts of self-hatred and a year of intense gaslighting and emotional abuse by my husband would never be historically valuable enough to continue carrying around. And I must say that I do not regret that decision. Getting rid of those books freed me of a lot of emotions that kept dragging me back to regret and guilt and frustration.

Thank you Mark !! I may be fat now, but I'm gonna keep on dancing 💃 myself back into shape !

1. Don't mistake self-care with self-indulgence 2. Goals should work for you not other way around 3. Nothing works for everyone and forever

Keep these long form discussions coming!

The perspective on self care was mind blowing. Self care is paying your bills exercising. I was stupid enough to think that once a while bed rotting will give me complete rest no it just made the next day working even harder

I love when Mark makes education so fun

Good afternoon. Thank you Mark for everything you do. I put myself on a self help binge last year. A lot of your videos with meditation. My life turned around. I have doubled my salary live on my own and may get a promotion tonight. Ny baby and wife are happy and healthy. Life is good.

I live in Reno NV which has 4 season but nothing too crazy. Maybe a little hotter than I’d like in the summer but winters are pretty mild in my opinion (granted, I’m from southern Maine so my opinion might be considered moot). For cold exposure I tell people to not wear too many layers during the winter time. Just wear a thick hoodie over your tee shirt and cozy socks and pants. Don’t constantly keep your apartment or house at a perfect 70 all day everyday and you will naturally get a healthy amount of cold exposure. We spend most of our time indoors under insulated roofs and walls. You’re gonna be warm enough. You’re not gonna die. Boom, there’s your cold exposure without having to spend a cent.

I found it very telling to discover the etemology of the word "Romance". Records from the 13th century show it meant a story about a hero intended to entertain (as opposed to stories meant to teach something), then shifted toward poetry, before finally taking on the current meaning around 200 years ago. Being able to escape reality for a while with a partner is awesome, but you can't build a healthy relationship on ability to always forget reality.

Dance goes back to our first forms of civilization and early tribes. It is natural for it to affect our brains because our brains probably feel innate motivation to move to rhythmic beats. It’s not surprising that dance is at the top of the list, I sometimes feel as if it could be as natural to us as sex and community. 💃🕺

I just recently was able to listen to a part of your Subtle Art audiobook, and NOW I am hooked on your videos. This stuff is GREAT. This is about being the best YOU for YOUR sake, not others.

I really enjoy the stuff that you guys share and the way you guys discuss and present. Big fan of you Mark Manson!

Friday night was Disco night in our house during Covid lockdown - it definitely got me through!

This is awesome, I got alot of value out of this. I like this format, great breakdown.

In a world filled with crazy, this chanel always makes me feel down to earth and inspired to keep up with discipline even if its not fancy every day. Thanks for sharing ❤

Really enjoyed this episode. Thank you for your effort 🙏🏻

Good habits trounce goals in almost every way.

Great advice on the therapy subject. I have had a traumatic childhood and after 6 months of therapy, my therapist told me I should stop abusing myself and just leave the past in the past. Never went back to her or any other therapist. I felt so hurt and betrayed, anctually I still do.

This was insightful. Made me think. Loved it.

I used to sit in a hot sauna for an hour and then jump into a cold swimming pool and swim. It was awesome.

This is my first time listening to this podcast or knowing anything about Mark. This guy gets it with a really balanced approach. Subscribed.

Love his approach to life Its so true, news does drain your energy. Sometimes ignorance is bliss when you have no power to make a meaningful impact

I absolutely loved this podcast. Every minute was worth it

Gratitude is useful so you don’t take your wins for granted, it helps me to continue and focus on positive behaviour that got me to win in the first place.

Self- care is having boundaries and not accepting abuse from others in any form. One of the best ways to have self-care in an abusive situation is to simply quietly walk away, block, delete. No drama. ( if possible of course) And we just need to ask ourselves "is this self-care or self-indulgence? And self-discipline IS self-care. Mark is wise. Love this podcast. 🩷

Top notch, as always! And thanks for bringing back the poop pillow LOL

Aaaah, Leaving Las Vegas, the only movie that can make you laugh out loud and cry rippin your heart out at the same time

Mark you keep give us a very good material very good. Thanks ❤

friendship is indeed underrated. friendships are so important and Nicholas Cage is a unique actor.....leaving las vegas awesome performance

Mark's podcast is the only one where I actually pay attention to the in-between sponsor ads.

Romance is subjective. My husband does two things that to me are romantic - he brings me tea and sends me a love text every morning. That’s all the romance I need. You are spot on about therapy and therapists on every level.

Mark! I have the subtle art journal. I love it. I need to write in it more. But wanted to say - thank you for creating that journal. It is incredibly useful to me. As a single parent i often keep a lot in my head so this has been a tool for me in unpacking everything.

Love your work as always. Thank you!!!!!!!!

Mark - I am so proud of you for giving up alcohol! You look so healthy and happy

This was great! I’m old in age but new to your work. I’m enjoying finding your thoughts on this channel and in your writing. A sense of purpose is overrated…. COVID shutdown taught me how unnecessary I am to the world. A great forced social experiment.

In Sweden you typically want to place the sauna right next to the sea/lake. As if the sauna were a boat house. Seconds after you exit the hot sauna, you enter the cold water. So, sauna and cold plunge is one activity, not separate ones. I would not bring an electronic device into a sauna; it's too hot in there and I'm too sweaty.

Dancing is like smiling for the body. It's also impossible to keep feeling bad when you (even forcefully) smile. Same for dancing

Haven't even seen the video yet just wanted to say a big thanks for writing your books Mark real life changing shit

Great video man seriously

Can't you just stand in a cold shower? I have a hard time with gratitude, and I found that it came down to language. When I think of gratitude, all I can hear in my head is "You should be grateful" and my brain associates it with "undeserving". It can often be used by parents in scolding. "You should be grateful for everything they and everyone on the plant has done for you." I understand that reveals my eff'd upness, but whatever. My word is thankful. Loved the conversation. Thank you!

This was an awesome episode lots of good advice

Great episode!

Great and fun content! From a fan in brazil

Leaving Las Vegas is one of the best movies of all Time. Such a beautiful piece on the condition of human loneliness.

Great insight guys

Awesomely done✅ thank you.

“If you want to depress yourself start a drug problem and start watching the news” yeah 💯 truth

Your quote friendship and role or the importance that they play in one’s life is absolutely spot on. I would add that being ‘with’ them ultimately requires little to no real effort, AND that you’re still ‘with’ them even if/when you’re not literally ‘with’ them. IOW - these friends are the people in your life whom you can hang out and/or speak to once a day, once a week, once a month, once a year, etc., and yet it’s always cool, and never weird, awkward or uncomfortable. When I encounter & connect with these people, I marvel….and I take heed. TBH, it always requires a genuine investment of time & effort to truly get to know someone. However, there is usually this inflection point, whereby it becomes fluid and organic and natural. IOW - it simply happens. Too, it is both reciprocal & mutually rewarding and beneficial. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become far more self aware and equally grateful of how unique and rewarding these particular friendships are, and the crucial role that they play in creating and living a life of purpose, fulfillment and yes, happiness. XOXO

20:30 Yeah, exactly, why does everything need to be super exciting? I'm cooking dinner, I need to eat, there's no need to make this special

About gratitude, they say it helps to really consider how those things you are grateful for, came to be

I've been taking cold showers every morning, and it's helped me get ready for the day ahead. Thought about getting a proper cold plunge system but I think I'll stick to the 🚿 and avoid all the maintenance!

Singing and dancing I can testify to this being a great remedy for mental health, a day I don't sing or dance I feel deflated. So glad that skin lotion was called one skin, and not three higher.

Excellent, good balance and expectations

Love you guys!❤

27:25 Very true! Drugs are bad if you start a HABIT of using, trust me I KNOW from experience and now am finally of them

Shit on m SHHHIIT.. Anyone smart enough to stay student will appreciate the information you have on things that are important. I'm here. I'm listening for sure..

So true, "Leaving Las Vegas" is an amazing movie. I was a drinker back then too.

Big hug, Mark. Thanks for everything.

Very interesting podcast. Very topical too.

@immarkmanson I would love to change your opinion on microdosing. I can't speak to psychedelics yet but I'm a cannabis educator and I believe that microdosing can be a life changing practice for some people. The plant chemicals in cannabis work at a different physiological level than pharmaceutical drugs so microdosing is the best way to supplement what is already happening in the body and brain without overwhelming our body's natural ecosystem. The overwhelming high we associate with natural medicine exists because generally humans are using or abusing it in higher doses than we need to experience the benefits. As you said several times, not everything works for everyone all the time, but I couldn't to hear you dismiss what I consider to be a valuable tool for mental health without chiming in.

About the sauna/cold plunge - I haven't checked the studies but people have been cold plunging for ages in Scandinavia too (probably not to the same extent that Finnish people use the sauna) but lots of people go bathing in winter at the beach or the harbour so I'd be surprised if there hadn't been done the same type of studies on cold plunging

Totally agree with the therapy take. I was encouraged to attend therapy due to domestic violence, at first it was freeing to talk about it all. After 3 years I just thought why am I doing this? Stuck in sadness and past trauma. Done with therapy I’m responsible for my healing x

Congrats on 2M subscribers

This is so great and hilarious and helpful 👏

These podcasts help me do things I don't want to do.

I love how you put it, “ self care is almost like parenting yourself”.

Purpose: I think we've been conned into believing life has to have some grand pinnacle where we're successful, or we've "made it". There's absolutely nothing wrong with just going through life jumping from thing to thing, exploring life, going on adventures with no particular destination or goal in mind. Its taken me a long time (I'm 52) to discover what makes me happy;: Freedom. The fewer responsibilities and attachments I have, the happier I am. Sure, there are some responsibilities and attachments I have to maintain for life to function reasonably normally, but being able to walk out of the house and go do what I want, when I want, without having to ask permission, or just sit around and do nothing at all, has taken me from an absolutely miserable human being to someone who is perfectly content and happy with my life.

Interesting video. When it comes to self care for me massage is definitely self care. But I say that as someone who gets very tight and knotted back and neck muscles. In an ideal world I’d have one at least once a week but due to price that’s an impossible dream. When I was part time and would have a day off in the week I’d have one every fortnight with a local college that run its own beauty and therapy centre. All students just learning but about the fraction of the price. But now I’m full time. I need to start making the time to book a massage at least once a month them…. I’m currently sat here with my right shoulder and neck aching. (Maybe I should add I do have a connection tissue disorder)

The hardest line for me was when y'all said " self love is self discipline"... coz lately i've been feeling like i don't love myself. i put people first, i procrastinate on my hobbies, i'm partying and wasting money instead of studying, working, improving myself and improving my finances... crazy huh?

Different perspective on the selfcare part: i am worth it, thats why i am taking care of myself. Good habits form from self love. You cant discipline yourself into loving yourself.

OMg I love your pods!!!!!!!

Took me like 5 therapists to find a good/right one. A few of them were absolutely terrible. It takes time, do your research and for sure do a few free consultation before selecting a therapist.

I just subscribed. I like your POV.

Amazing content

Exercise "snacks" is an awesome idea. Not food just little work outs to get the heart up during the day

Hey Mark! Speaking of Saunas, you should do a video about visiting finnish sauna culture. Saunas are the cornerstone of Finnish well being and happiness :D Also, we don't do emails at sauna it's serious shit and hot as hell...

Hey Mark - Could you put together a list of journal prompts you feel are super helpful? I've tried several over time and I've found 2 stand out. "what did you love today?" "What did you learn?" I know there's value in journaling. But Trying to find prompts that will actually help you self reflect in an effective manner is pretty difficult. So, agian, could you share a list of the prompts you think are the most useful?

You should move to Canada, you can just do a cold plunge in a nearby lake lol