Yes I have changed and will never be the same. My sense of safety and security is gone. I do have more anxiety. My trust in my own discernment is gone. I was made a fool of and embarrassed amongst my friends, family, and my church. I’m still trying to heal and recover.
My nightmare began when my wife cheated on me with her co worker who turned out to be predatory Narcissist. He professed his love for her on their second meeting and she went into a limerent state and abandoned me and our two daughters aged 5 and 2. She eventually moved back home after a month and agreed to work on our marriage. The very next weekend while living with me and sleeping with me she met up with him for more sex. After all this trauma i don't know how i kept it together mentally. After being caught in her last transgression she snapped out of limerence when he dumped her. Her lover had a wife and kids as well and he ended up getting a divorce when i told his wife. Trauma is still with me today in 2023.
Yup, changed me - permanently. Took me right out of the "game". Been the happiest 11 years of my life. No responsibilities, no distractions, no complications, NO DRAMA!
Same here. I'm lonely, but at least I'm not having to deal with extra anxiety, as I already had anxiety before I was even in the last relationship I was in. I hope to be in your shoes someday. I get weak sometimes emotionally because of loneliness of the past 5 years, but I never want to give a man my heart ever again, knowing there's always a 50% chance minimum that he will betray me. I'm not willing to take those risks anymore. I'm better than that and I deserve better.
I never thought I would be commenting on a video like this. 20 years…. It was truly a gut punch. I’m mad at the loss of innocence, like he was my safe place. Now he was the cause of my agony. Still recovering from the pain of it all. Praying for all who have been victim to this. It truly is hell.
@@kimberlyoliver5468 healing … slowly. I feel powerful one day like I can take over the world and then the next, my heart aches. Crying. I’m learning to give myself some grace. It’s not easy to grieve the person we loved and trusted implicitly. but we’re worthy of trust, loyalty, and the love we ultimately crave. Praying for you. We will get there. ❤️🙏🏾
All the things resonate with me 100%...I'm not able to make sense of anything in my life at this moment. The sense of even existing is troublesome. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get out of this headspace and get out of this pain. It's too much to handle.
All of these, but for me I’ve noticed how emotional I get when anyone shows me even the smallest amount of empathy. When I share my story & they respond with “ I’m so sorry that happened to you” (the best response imo) I find myself immensely grateful & quite emotional.
I could never have imagined that on top of everything else, there’d be so many heavy layers of shame, humiliation and embarrassment when that is what THEY should be feeling! We do not have to accept these, we don’t deserve them and we can throw them off & reject them when we’re ready to. It feels so unfair, like our.self esteem hasn’t been squished enough?! The people who cheat and lie over a long period especially are cruel, selfish, immature, mindless and dishonourable. Are those qualities we WANT in a partner anyway? No! I find it helpful to try to get myself in the mindset where I’m feeling like I’m rejecting my ex energetically. It can feel like a competition between you and the ‘other person’ and we feel like we’ve lost and they won, but if the cheating partner is what they’ve ‘won’ then the other person has hardly struck gold have they?! They only ‘win’ the very same guy that had the capacity to behave so terribly. I believe that the cheater is so often experiencing limerence with the other person and is not genuinely in love. You can’t compete with a fantasy & don’t bother trying if you discover they have no intention of letting their limerent object go. It’s like an addiction, they’ll only want it more if they feel forced to quit. Let them have it, go for your life, OD on it. Am I bitter? Hell yes. Im sure so much of the the excitement of it drops off for them when they are left alone to be 100% available for that other person. There is so much to unpick, feel and work through, but it can be done. Lisa navigated her way through her hellish situation and I feel like she kindly shines a light back towards us allowing us to see the many paths available to us a little more clearly as we move forward in our own way and at out own pace. We can feel so alone but all over the world now are men and women of all ages suffering from betrayal and feeling lost in the darkness. So let’s link hands and remember what they say, ‘if you’re going through hell.. keep going!’
I love what you say about rejecting your ex energetically! You are so right - we want what we thought they were, not who they are. The loss we're experiencing is of our perception (illusion?) more than a person. Keep going... Together we make it through
After 13 years, I walked out. I let him have her that 100 percent since they "won". Like U said, the excitement is probably off and I think that's my way of winning. He can't come back to beat and cheat on me anymore. He can do his own thing now without me being present or hurt/abused in the process. Technically no more cheating. Hah! Stupid 🤡! I bet he's real miserable now that I did leave him to his devices he wanted so fukn bad!
@@laurenmorgan9946 I’m so sorry. That’a long time for him to enjoy all that came with being with a decent person. But it will mean that when his current situation disintegrates to crap (and it will) he’ll reflect that once he has a loving loyal woman for all that time & he’ll questioning his life choices. I’m still feeling ties to the one who hurt me & I’m thinking about doing some ‘cord cutting’ visualisation exercises soon but I don’t yet have the balls to do it. I did it once in my past & it worked so well. Giving you a hand squeeze Lauren x
I did see the second woman I was in a relationship with who cheated on me six months after we broke up and she looked miserable and broken. I have to admit it gave me satisfaction but no one should have a miserable life unless they continuously inflict pain and misery on others we all reap what we sow and God always pays back the wicked for their evil deeds.
@@wmhhealth2018 I disagree. Evil people in this world ALWAYS get the biggest rewards. I have seen it three times, in 3 different serious relationships I was in. All 3 men got everything they wanted that made them happy in life, after they destroyed me and broke my heart. I'm still brokenhearted and devastated and my life has not improved even 10% compared to theirs. I don't believe any of that Karma talk or God. NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED is how I believe because that's been my entire life experience with relationships.
Absolutely to each one of these. I was gaslit mercilessly prior to the discovery. When I found evidence of it, I gaslit myself. 2 years later I got concrete proof ( I saw with my own eyes). I lost my job shortly after it and literally nearly lost my mind. Distorted my character to his family ( and tried mine). I’m still trying scoop bits of my self worth out of the floorboards
It’s been over 20 years. I am still struggling. I put my head down and put one foot in front of the other to take care of my kids. They are now adults and i still feel broken. They dont know what happened. I feel angry they dont understand why i am the way i am. I stayed so they would have stability and extended family. But i cannot stand to be around his extended family as they knew at the time what happened and i still feel humiliated when i am around them. I really dont know what to do now that my kids are adults. Should i leave now? Take the financial hit and loss of security ? Is that the only way to regain my self respect ?
If you want a new life, do it now! Dont wait. Don't feel humiliation by his actions. This has NOTHING to do with you! He is selfish and weak. I know exactly what you have been through. 65 yrs old. Now a widow. I'm still healing. 1st time he cheated i was 16. Never ending story!
Infidelity is the devastating…especially within the context a marriage. The inability to trust or feel “safe” in a relationship is only compounded by the experience most will have in the dating market thereafter. Dating to move on can seem like a good idea , however, it often complicates the healing process. If/when anyone who has been betrayed decides to move on in a new relationship…it can help to find somebody who has experienced something similar. That shared knowledge of betrayal can help form a deeper sense of security in a new relationship. Somebody who has felt the weight of it at some point and who has had to muster the strength to crawl out that same hole themselves is less likely to commit the same act. If there’s a silver lining, ii’s your newfound awareness…discernment…overcoming any childhood or codependency issues…and finding a future partner who would never think of doing this to someone they care about. Not only because they care about them…, but out of their own character. Wishing everyone’s burdens with this be released into thin air. Peace and well wishes…
It's a shock but move on especially one's with no kids. Not only was cheating she had become a Meth Addict at 66 years old. As we say in the Joplin, mo. Area a Senior Tweaker. Move on the best of your life is ahead.
Hi please can you answer 4 questions on affairs please when you are able too please . 1 Can people have affair or cheat on someone without never having sex 2 What happen if i starting seeing my ex boyfriend Stephen behind morgan back texting and meeting up and calling on phone and watching films and hugging and kissing and holding hands without never never having no sex turn out not to be affair because their isn't sex involved my affair no sex one i hate word and i am not interested in it and i am romantic girl? 3 can i have affair without having no sex 4 i have always what to get back at my friend Morgan for harassing me last year what happen if i was dating to Morgan i start to see my ex stephen a again and i tell Stephen i what to affair with him to get back at morgan for morgan for what happen last year for harssing me on text message without having sex but only seeing Stephen and texting him then meeting up with Stephen and only holding hands and kissing and hugging him and watching high school musical dvds without having no no no sex with him what what of type of affair would had be. Just romantic affair no sex one eww sex 1 emotional affair 2 emotional and physical affair without having no sex P.S it will never happen it only thought over it Thank you for your time from jess
