Meltdowns are the worst. Sensory overload sucks. Being clueless about people mocking or hating me, not necessarily behind my back even, or taking full advantage of me, sucks! I am realizing a lot of childhood trauma now that I didn't recognize as a child or young adult. Classmates and family members can be cruel and I just always wanted to please everyone! I was a doormat for many years and have to understand who I am now, realizing that I was being manipulated. Still working through all of this, as my ASD realization is still very fresh. Thank you for your videos!
@@WoodshedTheory I think we can all relate to that. There were several moments that were particularly poorly handled by all, but I am starting to learn that I wouldn't be who I am today without those experiences. I am very empathetic and compassionate with others who are struggling and I know it's because I remember the awful feeling of being so alone when nobody understands you. I hate it for them and for you.
I'm working my way backwards through your video library. The first one resonated with me so much: my tendency to take things at face value ALWAYS get me in trouble. When people do not directly tell me what they want, I assume everything is fine. I just got done having a difficult conversation with my boss because my failure to read between the lined caused "undue" frustration with someone I work with. The good news: I am open with my boss about my "hardwiring" and she did say "It isn't your fault. Neurodivergent or not, you can't always know what someone is thinking." She's in my corner and is supportive but I still kick myself regularly for not picking up on subtle signs of indirect communication. 🙃
Loved both parts of this video- I would never want to change myself to be neurotypical, but being neurodivergent is hard. Fortunately, the internet provides us with a tribe ❤
Meltdowns. Every single time I hate them. I’m 53. I’ve just begun to consider Im on the spectrum. And I’ve taken many self assessments that point towards it. I’ve never understood why the meltdowns occur. I’ve never understood why other fully functioning, intelligent adults around me don’t have meltdowns. It’s literally always been a complete mystery. Ugh! And I just finished watching your video about Meltdowns and burnout. The number of times I’ve pivoted professionally because of burnout. And I’ve never understood that. My kids are already grown. So many mistakes were made during meltdowns and I’ve piled so much shame on to myself about it. My kids are fine, great actually. But still I pile on the shame. Like a weighted blanket, but even more so. The inescapableness of it. The paralysis. I hope my exploration begins to soothe soon. I’m curious. So sick of masking and really hoping to learn new coping strategies. I’m not worried, just exhausted.
Hi Noelle I can relate to you completely. I hope you can find community and understanding here. Remember to be kind to yourself as you navigate through everything.
Yay! What you said. Same here :( Right now I'm stuck in decision paralysis. I will choose nothing and remain in my default mode which is glued to my computer screen. Help me please someone. Jesus? :(
I do that too. I will be out and want to get coffee or food or something but can’t decide so I just go home instead of doing it at all…and then I am disappointed in myself.
I've actually gone the other way when it comes to trusting people. I was taken advantage of so many times in the past that now I work under the assumption that everyone approaching me has some ulterior motive. It is definitely a learned behavior as I was extremely trusting growing up, but my last straw was an abusive relationship in high school that very nearly killed me. It's the only time in my life I ever truly contemplated suicide. Ever since then, I haven't been able to bring myself to trust anyone at face value
What a coincidence! I was just sobbing to my daughter about how much I hate being autistic because I was on the verge of meltdown due to a change in routine. 🙄🙄🙄
I can't always tell if someone is being sarcastic, either. I recently asked people in a Facebook discussion group if any of them were also on the spectrum. A guy from Burkina Faso said that there were no diagnostic services in his country, so it didn't exist there. I then got really serious and told him that autism existed everywhere, even if it's not recognized. He then let me know he was joking and informed me that his sister is autistic.
I related to all of this so much... thanks for sharing. The feeling of constant anxiety about *everything* is hard to convey to people who don't deal with that.
I hate that I can’t handle change. My husband just changed jobs and with that came a schedule change, we don’t have insurance, we had to buy a second car, he is partially working from home, and it’s just a lot. I went from not processing any of it to having a 3 day period of feeling like I was going to meltdown to going straight into burnout. The other part I hate is trying to manage two kids with ASD and ADHD when often I can’t even manage myself. I don’t like that everyday life feels like it is really difficult. Things like deciding to go to the library for an hour, even though I WANT to, becomes an entire ordeal of mental gymnastics and anxiety when average people just go to the library and that’s it. Thanks for all of your videos. I am 47 and just figured out that I have ASD after my youngest son was diagnosed this year. It has been a lot but it has also helped knowing that I have been expecting things of myself that I am just never going to be capable of doing.and that’s ok.
i do not enjoy meltdowns. Unless I'm very familiar with a place, I tend to not go there until I've been there with someone else to become familiar with the surroundings. Just walking is a no go for me. It makes things very difficult at times.
I hate how socially anxious and "rejection sensitive" I am. How horribly awkward I feel socially. How I cross the road or hide to avoid having to talk to people I know. How I can get blanks on their names and stress out about that the whole time we're talking. My horrible executive function. My agoraphobia. How much trauma I've been through because of being so clueless about people and clueless about how to get help, when I was younger. How painful it is to want to connect so much, with people, and be utterly conflicted about it, at the same time. How incredibly damn sensitive I am, to stimuli. How brain fried I get after some heavy socializing. That'll do for now.
So relate to all of that Claire. Never heard of the word neurotipicalese? I am too literal. I don't know when people are joking. I cant tell some reactions. Ryan.
Gosh! I can relate to each of these. As you were talking, I was thinking, yeah, that's the worst! And then I'd think of something else, and it would be the next thing you'd say! Oh! But you know what is the absolute worst? Not being accommodated! Or accepted. Everything you mentioned could be OK with the right accommodations and acceptance from others.
On a big trip to Hawaii and it's hard Lots of change, flying, and different time zone Told to stop complaining You are in Hawaii I am trying but, after a week have had several meltdowns and not ok! Hate that I can't keep up with other people Hate it more when they don't understand that😢
I'm autistic and alexithymic and likely ADHD also. The alexithymia is by far the worst of the three. I have no mechanism to understand the emotional states of others, but the hardest part is that I am not able to see if anyone displays positive emotion to me. I have never felt loved or even liked because of this. I have only once actually 'seen' someone I know be happy to see me, and because I am so bad at any form of social relationships, that person no longer speaks to me.
I wish NTs were better at Neurodiversese (don't know how to spell that). If you're reading this Claire check out No7 again. You were doing just this very recently, were you not.
