8 things you should NEVER do to autistic children | and what to do instead 

Thanks for this my son is non verbal and it gets tough. I've learned to let him show me what to do and not get upset myself. That's extremely important.

My wife is autistic and has a bad liver causing yellowing in her face as a symptom of it. She takes purified bile salts and this fixes the issue. My son is also autistic and this is a great video. Keep up the good work. 😊👍

@@shyluna7107my grandson is non verbal. I’m looking for all the help I can get. Please advise me where to look. I clicked the tic too video she posted, but she isn’t speaking of autism. Please advise. Amy advise is so appreciated.

Oh thanks so much, that makes me so glad ❤️

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RU-vid here. His herbs work perfectly

@@SagaJohanna I have ADHD or ADD or whatever makes you hyper one moment, and then nor the next. That’s why this comment so long. I’m going to go back to sleep for 2 days after this, if life keeps going as usual because I’m soododooooooooooooooooeho board. I hate twitter because once your famous your a target forever, but I can never ever get any friends on RU-vid or telegram or in person. For example, people on telegram recently after 10 years of isolation equivalent to Covid 19, who do respond to me, simply say “ok, interesting, what are you thinking.” They’re female prophetesses aged 20, (obviously their intellectual pimps). And the prostitutes who come to me, leave in 1 minute of text. Hi, I have autism too, and about 5 other disabilities. (Ask my doctor for a receipt if you like) I’d just like to say: The Jesuits might of jacobed/jewed (union JACKED) something down there during the 9th year. Your name isn’t feminine form of John (one of 5 Christ’s of the Tetragrammaton) for nothing. Here’s a why I think something might be up and you need to sue just like in some starwars clone wars type way, before these people simply palpatine you, (ever wonder why he have a dimple and long nose), and his eyes turn orange when he becomes upper floor on osamas grave business man. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-3fumBcKC6RE.htmlsi=EjqaFRVCR4QsqLQC ru-vid.comFuF8LONUuB4?si=Waq1Myk0jrA7C9bs ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ZCzydCo7DS8.htmlsi=MxiGqwlaKCK3fxxQ (PS, the first Australian flag had 6 Jewish stars of David on them, then it was changed to 1, now none). I have a deep hatred for decedents or Philip during 1500, a usurping king of Spain, and all his funny eagle faced men, because they think they can keep removing their faces from damn official museum artefacts, to replace them with our faces, make some fable of Adam weisapt (man white face), then because of such fable, all normal white face leaders were wiped out. Now the red iris mystery of sin man runs the game, and he’s still got allot on his checklist. If you haven’t given up now, he will make you one day (just as he swore to compete with god until he gives up). I can’t believe racism is legal for the Henry Fords Forbs top 50 real rich (trillionaires) even Ford would fear at first sight (despite if surrounded with bodyguards) - like spiders gave birth to them and snakes: or some strange man in the forest mated with a Chinese (see riding by chamillionaire - I think I know where lizards come from based on that video). Bla bla bla bla bla. Just listen to me, extreme creativity is boss. My country Hong Kong imports all products, and so I am hated by even my family for being useless lol. And boss rule no. 1. Allow no power for the power hungry / usually accompanied by the spirit of being wicked people. PPS, I as a kid would always want to get spiders together and fight, I think it resembles our jewish god and his hatred for Edom that is possibly interstellar fighting in the heavens. Bal bla bla. I just think you needed to know this. Because no one cares about me or this. And I need some love, and this is my interest. Go and watch chamillionaire riding. The giant chin don’t match up with the face, cause the face usually would have an eagle beak. And no, I’m not Kanye’s agent. Kanye a distraction. He think vultures (Egyptian Edomites) are the mystery of iniquity and he’s 40 years old and consulted with top billionaires and he messed up. He turned Jesus’s movement into a billion men ask a billion men “follow me, for we will figure out the animal with the spirit of Satan” and it ends up being after wasting 50 years animals like pigeons, or pandas, or dogs, or cats. And then 1000 years later Christian’s ban panda behaviours, grey panda especially because they eat and don’t use toilets or keep their mouth closed, and the people like this inhale cigarettes, like in slave gangster China states working 6 days a week, because they got A- and not a A).

I think it's good you help teach special needs children. But if you happen to be teaching autistic kids in your class another thing you should have in mind is that you should never touch autistic kids it hurts! Thanks for your good work for society and have a good good one!

Thank you so much, that really humbles me

Beautiful comment

Same.

Don't be so hard on yourself we're all learning together. Hugs and love stay strong. ❤️

Respect. I cannot explain what that means to your child. But as an autistic adult who's never known NT people to do an effort to understand, show compassion or offer support in times of distress (even from close family or wife), I struggle to find reasons to keep being alive. Nobody has any idea how dark it is in my head but I keep getting blamed and yelled at (I'm almost 50 now). It's so important to any neurodiverse person to know there is someone who can give comfort, acceptance and support. The levels of self-loathing in autistic people is usually sky high because they feel every day that they don't fit in this NT world. Living by itself quickly becomes such a hard task. So just by trying not to make it harder, you make an incredibly positive change in your child's life. I know it's not easy, I understand it's not easy living with people like me, but if you can't follow through, both you and your child will suffer from severe PTSD and that's only going to complicate things even more.

As a 50 year old father of a 9 year old autistic son , I totally agree with you. Thankyou for your comment. I don't want my son to feel like he's been thrown to the wolves when I'm no longer around to guide and protect him.

Going through it now with my child the world is crucial. The kids are not excepted. I’m under a tremendous amount of stress

I love and appreciate how you explained this, because I was thinking the same thing. I believe this person lives in another country, so maybe the culture is different there, so maybe society there treat and or help autistic people differently and better than here in the U.S. Not sure. Or maybe the creator here, wasn't able to explain what she was meaning when it came to this. I'm just trying to understand all the possibilities.

I just left a comment regarding my 19 year old son who I’m trying to get set up on the right track as I’m very ill and don’t have much time left- I’m so worried 😢

A lot of wisdom in this post.

I think your channel would be so appreciated! Please let me know the name of it once you do start it! I agree, I think it depends on culture and education. I think a lot of people who have autistic children end up being the best parents because the struggle means something has to change, and i find it very inspiring :)

Yes, you are human too. I believe that the guidelines are helpful, but it is important for the parent who has limited help to be able to have self care. Not that this video actually said "don't take care of yourself" because as a parent of a special needs child you will need self care more than ever. Without that, it is even harder to meet the demands. I think this video can be taken with a grain of salt. (Yes, definitely agree with you on the statements that were more harshly worded.) If you know you are doing your best and are researching how to do even better (which I assume since you clicked on this video) than you deserve alot of credit.

Yes and at least where I live in the U.S., a lot of children aren't taught how to go through their emotions. Most the adults don't even know how to handle their emotions. It's so hard...

I also have an autistic boy. And tbh there days that I just can't be loving understanding and unconditional. If I don't show my frustration or anger Im afraid I migjt implode. We are doing our best. Managing full time work. Home duties and high costs of raising our autistic kids... I say we are doing all we can.

It was particularly difficult for me, as an undiagnosed adult at that time with SPD, to raise children (as a single parent without safe family to help until I married my late husband) & have therapists, teachers, caseworkers put all of these expectations upon me yet NO supports. I was somehow just expected to magically do these things. “Support” to them meant that they told me what to do (often the wrong things for both me & my children).

I am sure you can ❤️ if you feel guilty I’m sure you know what you can do to change, and that’s a very brave thing to accept and do.

It is very hard having an autistic child, and no parent is perfect. All we can do is our best and keep trying tp get better each day.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know why people treat autistic people so badly. I know a lot of people with autism and most of them don't do anything that's harmful to anyone. They stand out, for sure, but they're not hurting or bothering anyone. Most of them are good people with kind hearts. I don't understand the abuse they get just because they're a little different.

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RU-vid here. His herbs work perfectly

Just knowing that it’s them & not you can be a victory of sorts, keep confident in knowing that & I think it may be able to keep you more positive? I hope so !

Yes I think most of these tips should be applied for all ❤️

​@@HollySwedenStop

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RU-vid here. His herbs work perfectly

Frustration in me appeared to my parents as anger. I was yelled at, slapped, beaten with a belt, a switch or a fist. I tried to let them know that I am angry at nobody but that I am frustrated with myself because I could not fix my hair, do a math problem, got picked last in a recess game, or could not run as fast as the other children. I was frustrated when people misunderstood what I was trying to say. If I said something wrong then I was made fun of. I took myself seriously so I was laughed at to learn to toughen up.

How do i teach my autistic child to express anger in a positive unharmful way?

Thank you! I'm really just very happy to have you here and for you to be so graciously receptive. Thank you 😃

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RU-vid here. His herbs work perfectly

It's never too late ❤

Wow, thank you so much for listening

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RU-vid here. His herbs work perfectly

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RU-vid here. His herbs work perfectly

I agree with you that autistic people have the right to have children but they should have a caretaker or someone coming in to make sure they don't abuse the children also they should consider adopting for the obvious reasons but yes they deserve the right to have children and make a family if they can handle it and are willing to pay for it!

Thank you so much!! What an incredible comment, and you sound like you’re on a fantastic journey with two girls. I love that you can see them and act intuitively and help them ❤️ I think fathers need to get on board in many ways, not only with autistic children, but I feel that a lot of mothers struggle with the same relationship as you do with their kids/fathers! I hope this can change soon! ❤️

Can you suggest channels to help with math? I'm struggling teaching that to my aspie kids!

How will your daughter's adapt when they are out in the world with people that have gone through the cookie cutter schools..the world does not make special provisions for autism.. Every person on the spectrum is different. This channel gives her opinions on her experiences. By grouping all autism under one umbrella and treating them all the same is just as harmful

My husband and his response (and his ridiculous family) to our son's ASD diagnosis sound very similar to yours. It took him 4 or 5 years to get on board. He still really doesn't get it or try to. He is hard on him and doesn't see the anxiety he causes our son. It's been a long journey. I'd never ever divorce because I'd never want to give up half of my time. He's much better off with me around to check my husband when he needs it.

Thank you for sharing this, it has helped me a lot.

Oh, burn out is so difficult ❤️❤️❤️ I can’t imagine how difficult it would be with kids. Thank you! You got it!!!

That is really hard. I don't know how I might cope with that.

Hi. I am a mother of a 7 yo autistic boy with social and language delays. I'm not sure it's realistic to say just don't introduce video games or candy. Is that then - no halloween? Kid's play video games. My autistic kid plays video games and we have taught him moderation. He knows how to set his timer and I think this teaches a certain kind of self discipline. Also his game time is contingent upon time spent reading and playing outside. @@SagaJohanna I am all for healthy eating. I always offer good whole foods and totally believe that food has a profound effect on everyone, and while I understand the intention is to influence your child in a positive way, we are not the only influences on them.

Same problem I'm going through! It's a struggle!!

I don't think this tip is a good one though. You can't remove everything they can't handle. Does your child really strugle with unhealthy food outside the home?

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RU-vid here. His herbs work perfectly

My heart goes out to you. I wish I could give you a hug or a day off. I hope you are not alone.

Chewlry is what you're looking for. Chewable jewelry 💯 He wants to stim by chewing, giving him something that is safe to chew will probably keep him from chewing things that are not supposed to go in your mouth. (Late realized autistic context - when I was in my teens, I would chew safety pins, never really thought about why...but eventually I realized that was VERY dangerous. When I was old enough, I got my tongue pierced, that was a safer alternative, solved whatever stimulatory need I was searching for and was more socially acceptable. I don't wear my tongue piercing often these days, but it was helpful when I needed it.) Also, the autistic community isn't very fond of the term "severely autistic" If you're interested "high support needs" an "non speaking" are more socially acceptable ❤

There is no severe autism that makes it sound like it's a disease... People autistic are just like everyone else but has different problems but can be solved over time! And people who are autistic are usually smarter than normies and just find other ways of expressing themselves like your autistic son has done based on your descriptions of his behavior articulation!

Oh that is so kind of you to say, and so lovely to hear I could help

It's so cool to hear other autistic people's stories about how they had a bad upbringing and changed the whole game with their children!

How can someone who, by definition, has horribly impaired social skills teach PROPER social skills to someone? That's like asking a blind person to teach another blind person how to paint.

Oh that's amazing! That's the exact rule we have. I can't believe I didn't think of that before getting married! But it makes so mcuh moer sense.

I taught my children to walk closer and speak more quietly. That was so much better for all of us, especially for me since I have found out recently I am autistic.

My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs

Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to write me. Hugs back to you 🤗 Hopefully with more awareness and communication and compassion we can makes this a kinder world for everyone to be in.

My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs

Thank you for your kind words. Kindness makes a big difference and so does humility. Humility, in my circles appears to be a forgotten virtue and there seems to be something about the role of parenting which can make it even harder 🤔🙏😁

My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs

I agree, apologizing as a parent is one of the most powerful things we can do!

It looks like this lady doesn’t have children, and then teach parents to be better… I’m sorry but parents are also human beings and have some emotional needs. No one is perfect, and do not expect someone to be perfect. Some parents are autistic too.

Amazing advice. I never yell at my son. He’s only three but I know how damaging it was when I was yelled at and how high my stress levels became as a result. So encouraging to know you have grown into a functioning adult who’s happily married. I just want people to accept my son and love him as much as I do

That's so good! I often struggle with transitioning as well, even as an adult. I need to be reminded that "soon we will finish this up and then in 10 minutes we will do this"

Your video really spoke to me. I so agree. There are so many other ways to deal with our emotions that are healthy. I have a daughter who is one years old now. I’m not sure if she’s Neuro divergent yet. (I’m pretty sure she is because my mom constantly brings up how much she’s like my sisters who are normal. I was a very quiet child and head pretty clear signs.) but a lot of these ways work with regular children too. Nobody is born, knowing how to regulate their emotions. It’s definitely 10 times harder being on the spectrum. The biggest thing I found is if I get to an area where I can think and break my task down into small pieces it becomes doable for me. This works really well with children though too because I think all children kind of start with this brain. I know I’m very interested in learning new things but they have to be interesting to me. Or I have to make them interesting. That’s how I teach my daughter stuff though right now like she loves music so I’m trying to learn piano, her favorite songs on the piano and I’m going to teach her about music theory. We’ve already started, but we take it really slow. She still learning about beats and dynamics. There’s no rush though and I think that’s also some thing all kids need to hear. my biggest issue growing up was that I was never fast enough for anybody. I have an incredible memory, but it takes me a long time to actually catch on to things. I definitely think patience is key to being a parent with a Nuro divergent child. It’s actually really easy for me to deal with my child Emotional outbursts. They hurt my heart because I remember feeling so fed up and not being able to express it when I was at age 2. The biggest thing I do is I let her release the emotions I try to bring her back with breathing. When I have strong emotions, I also bring myself back with breathing. We cuddle I give her a big hug, and then we find something even more fun to do. Distractions also key, I know it works with me. Sometimes when I’m upset I just need to do some thing that will make me happy again. I wish I could take every child and help them with this. I’m not very good with people, but I love teaching.

I'm so sorry to hear about your upbringing. Mine was similar. I still experience trauma, flashbacks and terror from being held down so I know exactly how you feel. I also am very sensitive to touch and my husband is the only one I feel comfortable with. I rarely hug my friends, and basically never my family members. So I know your struggle. It does sound however, as though you've found really good ways to interact with your child!

I can understand that my mother used to yell at me all the time. As an autistic that created issues for me even today I have trust issues because of that.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that! I'm so happy though that you could find happiness in your family

Beautiful ! pray that I be the best mom to my little boy !

Love him for him xx

I believe you two will be fantastic parents. The fact that you are researching to learn is a great indicator. You are doing amazing so far.

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that

I totally agree!

Aw thank you so much!! ❤️

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not surprised either, I hit my teachers, threw stuff and screamed a lot whilst I was in school. It was just not an easy environment for me. I hope you can find help with your child and help him succeed in school and at home

@SagaJohanna thank you for your kinds words. ❤️ oh we WILL be getting this resolved with the school. I know his rights and coming prepared. I'm sorry it was hard for you too, I hope you feel more supported and happy now. Take care 🙂.

Oh wow. This is gonna make me cry. Best comment ever. Thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️

@@SagaJohanna 🥰❤️❤️

When u become her legal guardian and must do annual account report , your joy will be gone.

My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs

❤ Thank you so much. That makes me very happy.

How amazing, and well done you! I struggled the absolute most as a teenager, and I think it's a very difficult time for all kids, but especially for autistic children.

So sorry to hear that ❤️

Thank you :) a lot of autistic children struggle with physical touch, I would experiment not hugging them and see if that works as well. But for me physical touch can help if I feel safe!

Firm hugs (bear hugs) is a proprioceptive activity that can be beneficial for a child.

​@@jeremyjackson7326 It can also be overwhelming for some children, and adults. Not everyone responds the same and that's the big point.

​@@jeremyjackson7326 it can also be traumatizing. Only children who seek deep pressure (hypo-reactive in proprioception) might like this. Others would feel terrorized, even if they eventually collapse in emotional exhaustion from resisting the hug.

That's so great to hear!

Oh thank you so much!!!!

That sounds really difficult. I recommend reading "The Whole Brain Child" by Daniel J. Siegel MD and "The Concious Parent" by Shefali Tsabary. I think these books are so important to help your child thrive. Since she is only five it should be fairly easy to help her. If she's in school that might bring extra stress so I would remove all triggers from the house and focus on making you and her feel the best. Removing too much stimulus, removing phone and technology, and switch to reading books together or drawing. I think this would help a lot. And for you to be able to parent I think it is really important you take care of your self.

My kid is usually having a hard time after school. It is simply too noisy for him. Could it be something like this, sensory stress in her environment?

@@dianathomas2674 I definitely think it's sensory related.

@@ripleyshipman8368 could this be addressed with noice canceling headphones, shades? Looking back, I should have had noise canceling headphones, too. It would have made those early years easier. Kindergarten btw. can be a downright hellish experience for kids on the autism spectrum, when it comes to sensory stress and social interaction between kids, who can be downright evil.

My son is 4 and for him it's very important to keep the routines in the morning and in the evening. What helps our relationship very much is that I am very interested in his special interests. So I try to found out more about it with him in books, videos, etc. If he has a meltdown, I let him and offer a hug even if he was mean to me. I talk about my emotions, like "that you did ... made me very angry, because ..." "I am tired right now because I had a hard day at work", etc

Wow thank you so much! Yes totally agree. I think all these tips can be helpful for all children ❤️❤️❤️

I work with kids like you and you sound pretty high functioning to get through the rough stages. I have a hard time understanding what kind of logic makes sense to kids ASD going through preteens...this is the hardest for me!

My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs

Yes!

Aw thank you so much!!! ❤️ these things haven’t always been known for me either, but luckily healing relationships can be done!

I feel exactly the same!

I agree ❤️❤️❤️🐷

That means the world to me, thank you so much. That's a very interesting age because they've had a lot of impressions but adulthood and its pressures are not (hopefully) too present yet. For non verbal kids in my experience patience is a virtue. Patience and a willingness to apologize builds trust that then creates growth. It sounds like you got just that!

@@SagaJohanna Yes! I agree and appreciate the reminder and encouragement. I definitely surprise myself at the patience I have grown and had even before with kids and adults like this compared to other people..I give it all up to God! He gave me natural abilities ( but even the best of us and I'm not saying I am anywhere near it at all) , can and do get overwhelmed and feel the pressures but we keep humbly seeking a line of understanding and communication with patience and accountability. 🙃

@@adaywithaleks6556 Yes, that's so important. The importance of restoring ourselves when caring for others, especially when it's demanding, becomes more important than ever before. It's better to take breaks and be able to continue for a long time helping people, rather than not listening to our needs and end up not being able to continue. Love your thoughts!

God bless you

Thank you so much for your comment, I can't even describe how much it warms my heart. ❤❤❤ The late reply is because I really wanted to think about it. For me, actually, going to the bathroom was quite a challenge as a child. I got so bored, and I couldn't stay there. Since I loved reading my dad gave me books and that was basically the only way I could use the bathroom. Is he using the potty or just diapers? I think sometimes the problem is that the world is not adapted for kids, and especially not neurodiverse kids. Toilets can seem scary and are quite uncomfortable, and since ND kids/people are often more in touch with their bodies, squatting toilets (for adults) and potties (for kids) make more sense. I would suggest bringing his favorite activities to the toilet, no matter how weird it may seem :) If the problem is the toilet, I would get a stool so he could get up to it himself, and potentially a children's seat that attaches to the seat so that he can't fall in, because tbh toilet seats are quite uncomfortable for kids! :) I would also look into elimination communication. Your child is a bit too old for just that, but it's an amazing community with great tips about how to handle that area of childcare

@@SagaJohanna Wow, thank YOU for such a heartfelt response. ❤️ I've brought my phone in to play his favorite song on RU-vid on repeat (with me next to him) this did make him fine being in the bathroom but he didn't do anything in the toilet and then another time I brought one of his favorite books in for him to look at but he still didn't do anything else. I think we sat for about an hour and a half each time. It is proving difficult for sure, but I have to hold onto hope that we will get there eventually. I have a 7 year old daughter and an 8 month old baby boy too, so it definitely isn't easy being consistent with my 4 year old but I'm not giving up. I'll try a more comfortable seat next and look into the community you mentioned, thank you SO much!!!! 😊 💗

Thank you ❤️❤️

Thank you for your excellent video thank you for everything what you told I have a grandchild he is 4 years old with autism your video help me allot

Thank you so much! She sounds lovely, and often as mother's our natural intuition is the one we should trust and go for!

Oh wow, you’re making me emotional ❤️❤️❤️ that’s really the shift I think we need to care for autistic children. If we shift perspective and treat them with abundant love they will grow and develop very healthy mechanisms to live in this world !

​​​@@SagaJohanna yes my dear. I hope everyone can accept children and people with autism and see how wonderful and amazing they can be. I still remember the first hug and the first real kiss she gave me. Trust me WE non autistic people have so much to learn from those who do have autism. Thank you for speaking your words with so much emotion and transparency. You are a wonderful young lady❤️

Thank you so o much for your kind comment and wise words! I think making mistakes are part of it! But when our mistakes change how we act, it shows we are humble enough to learn ❤️

My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs

Thank you!

So sorry for the late reply... BUT I finally have, you can download this free PDF here www.sagajohanna.com/blog/13-things-you-should-never-do-to-autistic-children-and-what-to-do-instead :)

I have had a few possibly autistic students and I find your lists and videos helpful. I understand what you mean about schools. Such loud, at times harsh seeming environments. Not a lot of soft spaces. It is up to the parents here, though. One of my students rarely spoke. Do you have any additional suggestions for autistic teenagers who rarely speak but are told they are to go to a regular school?

@@alvarezfamily456 Here :) www.sagajohanna.com/blog/13-things-you-should-never-do-to-autistic-children-and-what-to-do-instead

@@SagaJohanna thank you!

​@@SagaJohanna Thank you so much..this is a real help..I've been teaching children of smaller age group who are dealing with ASD..want to do the best I can ..thanks

This experience is familiar. Hang in there. Compassion helps.

That sounds awful

It will get better. You just need to move at your pace, not what people expect of you. You may find something that brings you joy. ❤ I hope you find the path that is right for you.

@@SagaJohanna You hit the nail on the head, Johanna. The autistic community to which Orion Kelly (fantastic guy) refers is so fresh that we (especially NTs) are still scratching around on the surface with so much talent being wasted and even abused. Genetic links appear to be so strong that when one family member (often the young child) becomes diagnosed, whole families including distant ones (cousins) reveal ASD traits and then their friends (and families) with whom they've successfully assimilated. Like a rolling snowball (increasingly more & more being diagnosed with ASD) against which the NTs. especially those in authority with hands on the public purse (top down forced financial austerity). are hitting back to the detriment of the talented autistic community. Becoming diagnosed with ASD late in life, it helps identify why my siblings and I had such challenging (often unhappy) upbringings with continual life experiences as did our parents and their ancestors have had in their own way totally unaware of ASD as a condition. This results in our (my) desire to support our offspring who are mostly identified as having ASD with having a better more suited life experience whilst building on their talents for the betterment of society. Hope this all makes sense Johanna. Coincidentally this is my late maternal gt. grandmother's name - murdered in 1945 in the War aged 37 whereby I feel ASD contributed; another story. Just a few thoughts based on recent observations & experiences impacting on my family members often regarded by NTs as dysfunctional with break-ups / multiple divorces prevalent. 🤔 I'm quite willing to discuss this further with greetings from Yorkshire.

That is the cutest and most wholesome statement EVER! You even have a communication going together and it’s for a fun cause. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

This sounds like a story out of the famous book The Black Cat! I’d highly suggest reading the books I’ve mentioned in the description and in my autistic children video. It sounds like your family is struggling and it doesn’t have to be that way!

@@SagaJohanna I have not read those books. I have read books about autism, and attended courses on how to be a good parent, and meetings with the parents of other autistic children. And recently, books about divorce, and I've spoken to lawyers. I had a cat once. I had him for 18 years, until he died from old age. And let me tell you, taking care of the cat, cleaning up after him (it was a male), feeding him, playing with him, taking him to the doctor... was much easier than looking after my kids. The cat was much lighter, easier to carry. And there was only one cat, closed in my apartment, wheras I have 3 kids, running away in all directions. Like at the swimmingpool or in the street outside. I do not have 3 hands, I cannot hold them all. And as they get older and heavier, it's becaming more and more difficult to lift them. The cat was much easier to handle! My son calls his own mother a prostitute, and me a stupid idiot. He does it regullarly, like every morning before school. My cat never called me names... Once my son hit me in the stomach, hard. When I asked him why he did that, he repied "I wanted to see you vomit, father". I too have been spitten upon. And they (my kids) bite and scrach each other, until blood. They also attacked their teachers in school, behaving like they do at home: biting, scraching, pulling hair, spitting, urinating on the floor... Come to think of it, yes, just like my male cat, to leave his scent. I believe you had good intentions, making this video. But the picture you paint there is unrealistic. Of parents never raising their voice... I'm doing my best, but I'm not a saint. I think there are very few saints among us. And most parents are not saints. Do not expect so much from us. We didn't know what we were geting into. Yes I expected my kids to cry as infants, but I thought that they will grow out of it quickly, and become independent. How could I have forseen autism? That my 12 year old son is unable to tie his shooe-laces. That he eats by sliding his food from the plate straight into his mouth with his hand. The fact that I have autism too, helps me to understand my kids. I think neurotypical parents, like my wife, struggle more. They do not understand how difficult some tasks can be for us. I remember my parents going mad everyday before school. We were always late, no matter how early they woke me up. It would take me forever to put on my socks. Now I face the same situation with my kids. My little copies. They stroke their socks as if it were a pet. Puting them on, and taking them off, and on again, untill they lie perfectly on their feet. I was the same way! And probably am, untill this very day!! A sock that is not straight, put on in a hurry, will bother me, untill it is aligned properly. Only now, having kids of my own, I know what my parents felt! They have some place to go, they need to be in the office by 8, and I'm sitting there lazyly puting on my socks. I too have trouble eating with my knife and fork. When I eat, I feel people around me are looking at me. I always envy how easy it seems for everyone else: they lift things from their plates, and are able to pass it to their mouths, without making a mess. I struggle with it, and my son is even worse at it than I am. I never learnt how to tie a tie. My sons cannot tie their shoos. I never learnt how to spell correctly, and they are having trouble with it too. It's much easier for me to understand them, than for my normal wife. And it must be just as difficult, nearly impossible, for other normal parents to understand their autistic kids, and the simple everyday tasks that they struggle with. I can do it without effort, why is he/she having so much troubble with it? And so they get anoyed, and so they screem. I see so many similarities between my kids and me, and yet... I often get annoyed. And shout. Homework is like that. Just like the sock, every letter my son writes must be perfect. He will write it, and rub it out, and write it again, and so on, for maybe 8 times. The finished product looks awfull, but only I know that it took him 3 hours to write 3 sentences. And I was like that. Other kids would go outside to play with their friends, but I would stay in all evening and half the night, just to do my homework. That was in elementary school. By high school, I couldn't keep up. The amount of homework that was set, was too much for me. I would hand in only maybe hafl of the work assigned, I just couldn't read or write as quickly as others. Just think how difficult it must be for someone neuro-typical, for whoom everything in life cames easily. A person like that cannot comprehand why we need so much time to write something. Why we get disturbed by noises, why strong light bothers us, and smells.

@@SagaJohanna By the way, thank's for answering! 😉 I didn't expect it. I thought someone might read what I have written... but I didn't expect the author of the video to answer. It was published 5 months ago. I expect you have made many more since than. And that you might only look at the responces to your most recent ones. Thanks again.

@@MS-yf9dw that’s no worries at all! I wanted to take my time responding since your comment is so long :) School was very difficult for me too, and I can’t even comprehend how difficult it must be if you’re not in Sweden. Our school is a lot easier than most… School is not made for autistic children, or any children for that matter! Have you watched any of Ellen Fisher’s video? Her videos gave me ideas of what a happy family can look like and taught me a lot about taking care of children!

@@MS-yf9dw You need to find God! Don't expect much from Parents? So you are ashamed? God loves you very much

Hi, wow I feel your struggle. I am so sorry and I can totally hear how you’re doing your best and it’s not helping much anyway. That must be so frustrating and difficult. Have you read the book The Concious Parent? That might have some tips. Saying no to video games/screen time seemingly isn’t working, but I think that is a big problem. With screen time there are no new impressions, nothing actual to learn, and no interest or “hunger” (literally and mentally) for life. Do you think you could take him anywhere where he’d be inspired to change? Like a positive role model. Could be a superhero, a historic person form a museum, an artist etc. Another idea would be joining an autistic meetup group for young adults if you can find one. And if you would be willing to give up tv that might be the only solution. Because I think you can’t have it both, no matter how harsh that sounds. If he can’t play games and watch tv neither can you. My uncle threw out his tv instead of being an angry parent. A bit more difficult at first, but better in the long run. Obviously don’t tell him you threw it out, but maybe that it broke and you can’t afford a new one. Feel free to message me back. These are my best tips. One last thing would be to see if you could find a person he likes. Either a helper you could pay, or a special teacher, club leader etc. I’ve seen this work very well for kids with more severe autism. ❤️

Ok my son is 12 and has the issue with the toilet too wont wipe his own. Wants dad to do it. At 12! The issue with the videogame console and computer addiction and the eating issues. An enrich plus group helped a bit, ive tried talking to my son about how you need to give yourself extra points in your mind for eating food you dont like, because he will eat cauliflower and corn but would prefer mc donalds. (Every bit of food needed to be in a cube like minecraft for a while.) Because our bodies learn to recognise which food certain nutrients come from ( son, you ) need to practice eating them. He will spit new things out. Re-iterate food is for nutrition and fuel its not for fun and is not the most important aspect of life.( eating is not the be all and end all.) Get him some kinetic sand and a slinky. Encourage any friendships.

Atypical people are addicted to video games to. It's all about how you controlled their access to the games in the FIRST place.

Start a rock collection. You can go on field trips to find specific rocks and gems. You should buy a book that tells you where to go to find them in your area. Then also learn all about how they formed and composition. It's endless learning and fun.