Yes, mistakes should not be a stumbling block, but just learning experiences. I understand the guilt of having to hold on to gifts. I finally just had to let that person get mad when they found out I no longer had it. It was quite liberating.
I love the William Morris quote, “Have nothing in your home that you don’t find to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” No matter how long I’ve been a minimalist, I will continue to watch and love every single post, Angela. “Visiting” with you is the highlight of my day! ❤❤❤❤
Good morning 🐦 it won't be long till people will be making pilgrimages to Minnesota seeking decluttering enlightenment in the clear breaking light amongst the Pines, the Fallen pine cones and the Clear Sight lines of Arrow Hill Cottage ! At which point you'll reply " you've had the power all along! All you've had to do is open your heart and follow my simple guidelines
I have a friend who is stressing me out. He says he wants to downsize but than doesn’t take the time to do it. It has been 2 years and I keep hearing the same complaints week after week. I think I need space from this friendship.
That would be really tough. Have you voiced your frustrations to your friend? Maybe let him know that he needs to either make a resolution or at the very least stop bringing you into his issues if you aren’t allowed to help him out. It isn’t fair to your mental health to continually be burdened by it. Because you care about him, you want the best for him and don’t want to be a part of his continued suffering. ❤️
Thank you for your helpful tips! Often people only realize that they need to declutter when they quite quickly need to move for lots of various reasons. The problem then becomes that they don’t have the luxury of taking it slowly. How then to proceed?…Lots of decisions can’t be outsourced. Sometimes help just isn’t available. Just trying to be as intentional as time allows ( I don’t want to move too much of the clutter) and just doing my best day by day.
That’s a very good point! I feel like this would be a great video topic honestly! . Probably the best quick advice I can give is to prioritize searching for your ‘favorites’ first - and pack those up right away with a labeled box. When you do this sort of reverse decluttering technique it makes it much easier to see which items you really prefer and what is simply excess. ❤️
Being skilled at organizing and the game of Tetris is a blessing and a curse. Looking back, I can say I was an organized hoarder. I didn't even consider decluttering as an option until that sneaky RU-vid algorithm got me with this whole genre of videos. My parents are baby boomers and their parents lived through the Great Depression and some major wars. What you had, you kept for a rainy day or much, much worse. My journey to minimalism has been nothing short of lifechanging for me and possibly future generations!
You know what? I think I had that same problem! Our home never looked super messy but I was constantly ‘organizing’ and fitting boxes strategically. A blessing and curse, as you say. So freeing to be done with that whole charade now! ❤️
Sadly, that’s about all a person can do…wait and see if they ask for help. Decluttering can’t be thrust upon someone. If so, it may clean things up for a while…but the heart of the issue will remain. ❤️
I never purchased a wall clock myself. I own a watch and wear one but forget that i have it on and keep reaching for my iphone to check time. However, i wont donate it.
Interesting! Is it a smart watch you have? Or a standard one? I know a lot of people who have smart watches and the screen turns off to conserve battery…it almost makes it look like a bracelet! I could see how a person might forget they are wearing a watch! Ha! ❤️
Im getting rid of 5 things a day. Every day. Even if its recipes. Still 5. I love seeing the pile in the garage. It will go to an animal shelter garage sale.
😂😂 I’m such a clock watcher. I feel anxious if I want to know what day, date and time it is and I can’t get that info. Lol. I think it helps me feel more in control of my life. Can’t control anything about what day or time it happens to be, but I just feel better being very clear on the concrete facts. (Lol. It’s really a good thing Bcuz if you’ve ever been gaslighted about reality, just looking at concrete stats like that makes you feel more ‘sane’). Although I really wind up using my phone for all of that anyways. Lol. Oomph. Really don’t like that whole “here’s a ‘gift.’ Now let me tell you what to do with it.” Um. No, no and NO! (I mean yah. I could go as far to say that this house is just that and what is that but a prison of guilt and obligation)? Makes me feel like ok sure. Thanks for the ‘gift.’ 🙄 Honestly I try to be more grateful about all things (I really do), but that isn’t actually a gift. It’s them trying to make a transaction with me. Rapunzel’s parents didn’t know the gravity of accepting the “kind old lady’s” offer for “help” in their desperation. But it cost them dearly and the devious old bat most def had a self serving plan of her own. I would just say, be careful loves. Being given something in exchange for “their will be done” can get you held up or trapped into things that do not at all facilitate your happiness or peace. Just make sure whatever you accept from anyone doesn’t derail or block your own plans for your own life Bcuz some folks really DO have a lot of funky ideas about what is appropriate to try to control concerning other people and what isn’t. And if someone is shoving something down your throat like that…the rudeness and disrespect isn’t on your part when you have to be stern with a firm NO to them. I have no patience left for such disrespectful manipulations anymore. No means no should not be so awfully hard for some folks to comprehend ya know. And let’s just get real about that on all levels Bcuz that attitude comes from the same not so great place whether it’s a small thing or a big thing and it can at times be extremely dangerous and unhealthy when it goes beyond just being offered a trinket here and a trinket there. Plus they operate that way. They start “small” and over time there will be more and more “offers” as they gain your sacred trust. And I would say it also applies to doing things or giving your time and energy as well as to do with material things. You really would be better off not agreeing to either one on any level. It’s crazy to me tho. The people who are the most offended by your No are just the people you need to think twice about the most. The healthier people are the ones who already comprehend that you always have a right to decline or reject any offer that you do not wish to accept. And one party should not get to dictate their own terms while the other party doesn’t have enough say so about it. I’ve grown to take great offense at anyone coming at me with a “gift” but also attempting to override my own free will with said ‘gift.’ If you put all these things over a fire and boil them down, all that really amounts to is someone else wanting to get their way at the expense of your free will. So what do I now see when someone like that comes at me? I see it for what it is. Immature entitlement and people with some rather disturbing control issues. And it very much reminds me (as a female) of such things as how a woman can be pressured or pushed into things like going out with someone or being intimate with someone. Even pushed to give your number to them or let them talk to you or invade your personal space. Like I say. It starts small but it doesn’t stay small. I say cut them off at the pass…ASAP. And Bcuz what someone does with very little is exactly what they’d do if given more. And what do we say about that? Yah. No means no. The R word might sound like an extreme example but if you really think about it, such other things come from the same sort of mindset. Emotional R or harassment isn’t really much better. It’s like R’s ugly little cousin. So to me it’s just like Duh! No. I did not sign up for that. They are not at all respecting our boundaries when they try to do such inappropriate things to us. And calling it out for what it really is isn’t at all wrong or shameful or anything to feel guilty about on our part. Righteous indignation is an entirely appropriate response to such tactics.
I can see how your life experiences have really shaped your thought process - especially as it relates to guilt. It’s crazy to think that we can all live in the same world and yet have such significantly different experiences and perspective on things! As always, I hope you are doing well and continuing to live in a way that is true to yourself and not bound by the pressure of others. ❤️ Oh, and ps…keep the clocks! Ha ha!
Guilt trips are the narc’s claim to fame. Lol. There are a ton of videos just discussing the one aspect of how narcs typically are about money, gift giving and material things. But yah. If they give you something, they’re always expecting something back for it. With narc parents eh…it’s like they’re now sending you a “guilt” invoice for everything they did for you from birthing you to the end of high school or college. And God forbid you ever need any help after age 21. It’s rather like “you OWE me for having to be your parent. Feel bad. Feel very bad. You’re declared guilty Bcuz look what all you cost ME. Case closed.” I finally just said whatever. You know I can’t ever pay all that back. 🙄. Expletive expletive middle finger etc. lmao. 😅😅 Like omg. It’s not like I chose to be born and to bring myself into the world just to cost you money and cramp your style. 🙄 But emotionally yah, it was us kids who wound up footing the entire bill and then some anyways. So I mean compared to that, whatever anyone else comes up with I just think really? Amateur. Go talk to my “parents.” BTDT. Lol. A lot of this abuse recovery stuff tho winds up being very ironic. The things that seemed to be a curse on us become like valuable pearls of wisdom to us. We learned it the hard way but it wasn’t our fault we had to learn it that way. But still it’s good to learn. I think I’m doing a lot better with the whole “you do you” thing. And yes I’m keeping a few clocks. 😅😅 Prob at least one. (When I go). Ha ha. Prob just the antique Coca Cola one Bcuz it’s cool and it’s a plug in. 😬
Guilt trips are the narc’s claim to fame. Lol. There are a ton of videos just discussing the one aspect of how narcs typically are about money, gift giving and material things. But yah. If they give you something, they’re always expecting something back for it. With narc parents eh…it’s like they’re now sending you a “guilt” invoice for everything they did for you from birthing you to the end of high school or college. And God forbid you ever need any help after age 21. It’s rather like “you OWE me for having to be your parent. Feel bad. Feel very bad. You’re declared guilty Bcuz look what all you cost ME. Case closed.” I finally just said whatever. You know I can’t ever pay all that back. 🙄. Expletive expletive middle finger etc. lmao. 😅😅 Like omg. It’s not like I chose to be born and to bring myself into the world just to cost you money and cramp your style. 🙄 But emotionally yah, it was us kids who wound up footing the entire bill and then some anyways. So I mean compared to that, whatever slimy, icky, guilt trippy thing anyone else comes up with I just think really? Amateur. Go talk to my “parents.” BTDT. Lol. I mean my very existence was a transaction to them. So what they want now is for me to spend the rest of my life paying them back for pretending to parent me. It’s nuts. So it’s not just like some guilt here or there circumstantially. It’s more like guilt permeated every aspect of my life until I broke it off of me. As if false guilt was mixed in with my very lifeblood. A narc parent is the opposite of a decent parent. Their mindset is always “you’re here to serve me” and not the other way around…which is the correct way. A lot of this abuse recovery stuff tho winds up being very ironic. The things that seemed to be a curse on us become like valuable pearls of wisdom to us. We learned it the hard way but it wasn’t our fault we had to learn it that way. But still it’s good to learn. I think I’m doing a lot better with the whole “you do you” thing. And yes I’m keeping a few clocks. 😅😅 Prob at least one. (When I go). Ha ha. Prob just the antique Coca Cola one Bcuz it’s cool and it’s a plug in. 😬
