A 97-Year-Old Philosopher Faces His Own Death 

I'm now 87 years old. My wife passed several years ago and my children and grandchildren are all grown up, very busy and getting on with life. I'm still fairly mobile and have a circle of old guys as friends. We do community projects by building things like outdoor benches for the local park, wheelchair ramps, bird houses, vegetable garden boxes, fix kids bikes, serve lunch at the local public school, etc. It feels great to give back to the community and regain a sense of worth. I really enjoy the camaraderie with my friends. The Dalai Lama was once asked if he feared death. "No, he replied, I don't fear death, I'm afraid of dying!" And I have to agree with him. One of my friends died in his sleep a few months age. The response from the fellows? "Lucky bastard!" A slow lingering death has to be at the top of the worst things list. I enjoyed Herbert's sudden observation of trees, the wind and birds, etc. This is happening to me as I slowly turn inwards and begin to pay attention to small happenings around me. I'm like a 5 year old, laying on my back in the grass and watching clouds go by, finding faces in the white fluffy stuff; hearing and watching birds and small animals scurrying through the underbrush. And of course the guilt and remorse of suddenly realizing that what I'm doing now, what I'm paying attention to now, is something I should have been doing all my life. I don't know if I'm afraid of death or not. I've thought about it lately and don't have an answer. I really don't want to pass on because I love and enjoy my children and grandchildren so very much. I have regrets about what could have been and realize I won't be around when all the new science and discoveries become a reality. But then I realize what the Buddhists say about ego. Dropping the ego and staying in the moment is the secret of life. Do no harm to ALL living creatures and be kind to others. As you can see, the video of Herbert Fingarette has had an impact on me, so had to put my feelings in print. May all of you stay safe and may all of you have happiness.

It’s impossible to explain to young people how it feels to wake up and realize: I’m 97 years old. But my mind is still 45.

For people wondering, he died November 2, 2018, at the age of 97, in Berkeley, California.

MY MOM IS 90 SHE IS SLOWING DOWN AND I KNOW THE END IS NEAR SHE IS THE BEST MOM A SON COULD EVER HAVE

"I wish I had argued more online" said nobody ever on his deathbed.

“In my arrogance, I thought that I could conquer death with logic. But now I know that I only used logic to suppress my fear of death.”

My father died when he was 70. I will always remember him telling me "I look in the mirror and think, 'Who is this old man?' I don't feel old in my head....I still feel the same in my head as I did when I was 20"

The grandson did a good job making this documentary. Knowing his grandfather is an accomplished philosopher and author, it is meaningful to record his final days. Touching and a sad sense of peace. True love❤ he missed his life-long companion. “We worked together. Traveled together.” A dignified gentleman and scholar🎉

Thanks to the caregiver here, and to all caregivers, for doing this necessary and decent and underpaid work. You make all the difference.

I was taking care of an old lady, who always forgets that her husband died and starts crying whenever she realizes. I never know what to say but cry with her.

"Half of me is gone”. Those words hit close to home. I lost my identical twin brother unexpectedly three years ago at 51 yeas old, almost half the age of this lonely man. To say we were close doesn't even remotely tell the story, there are no words to describe us. My heart hurts, from losing my twin brother and for this man..

Herbert Fingarette - Born: 20 January 1921, Brooklyn, New York; Died: 2 November 2018 (age 97 years), Berkeley, California. RIP.

I think his mental acuity at his age is the most impressive thing

"Do not be afraid of getting older for it is a privilege denied to many"

I’m 32, saved this video years ago and it popped back up on my feed. Watch it again. This time I immediately went out and bought his two books. I’m honored to house them on my bookshelf. I’ll read them over and over for years to come. Rest in peace sir, and thanks for the knowledge.

In other words…..it doesn’t matter how old you are you never understand death. Always remember that you aren’t the first to die and you’ll be just fine. Remember you are not special, maybe no more special than a leaf that dies. You will be alive again and you may never actually die. I believe we all will be just fine. God put bad people on this earth to give us something to complain about, to fear, to make us stronger and to give us something to do. You didn’t ask for this life, you just came into it. No guilt necessary just do as much as you can today and when you wake up tomorrow repeat! I love you all.

My father told me just before he passed”Don’t worry about dying.Dying is easy,Living is hard.I find comfort in that because my father would not lie to me.He said that for a reason.

After coming to terms with cancer and the fact that I'm leaving soon , I've never been so content because there's nothing left to fear !

‘I still want to hang around’ what a lovely soul

As someone who just turned 21, I don't think I ever thought about death or even considered it as a possibility. It never even crossed my mind that I could die or even get old. I mean, I knew that it would happen but it all seemed so far away. Something like this gives you a new perspective on life.

I asked my grandfather if he had any friends? In his old age he was always alone. His answer was "Yes"." I have three friends". The refrigerator, television, and my bed". When he died there were 500 people at his funeral. I miss him so much .

My grandpa said to me on his death bed: "don't be afraid of dying , be afraid of not living life the best you can. Everyone dies , but not everyone truly lives. " This is all the motivation I've ever needed 🙌

"but half of me is gone" The unbearable pain of losing someone is a good reason to be single.

This intimate video drew me in like a magnet. My mom passed away recently at 92 and I was wanting to see if I could glimpse some of her last thoughts and feelings. It did but then it also opened up in my 73 year old person fears of future loneliness, incapacity and vulnerability. This then made me think that it is time for me to give service to others who are in need while I still can. For sure this will raise the quality of my life now, something I will be able to contemplate with pride and pleasure when I am 92. Thank you for this touching, human video.

I just love that this video is made by his grandson..

Being a 17 year old kid seeing this makes me think I've got time, but just like this older man, he too believed he once had time to figure it all out. And yet with 97 years old he didn't even figure himself out.

Just lost my mom to cancer, your grandfathers experience helped me understand there is no understanding sometimes, you just go on with that feeling and questions as you get older. When you lose someone close to you, you naturally what answers, but sometimes there are no answers. Thank you!

It’s great to have old people around, there is a deep meaning in having them around, having opportunity to talk to them and listen their stories and take care of them like we care about children. I think old people and children are the most interesting age groups to talk to. Both groups have wisdom. It’s a blessing to have them.

I remember a few months ago I was 35, now I'm 63. Time pass's faster then I ever imagined.

A philosopher takes 97 years to realise that he knows precisely nothing.

I think that, regardless of whether you believe you pass on and exist as a soul, or you believe nothing survives after death, or if you have a different belief- regardless, you spent this entire life building this person that you currently are. You had experiences and feelings that cannot ever be replicated in any sense of the word. You cannot become this exact same person with the exact same opinions and experiences no matter how hard you tried. And there is something very beautiful in this. So it's sad that you die, not because death is something to be afraid of, but because you spent your entire existence as this person, only to say goodbye at the end of it all and finish their story. It's the same feeling many people have when they read a good book, nervous that there's only a few chapters left, wondering how it ends and yet not quite ready to read the last line. It's inherently the greed of humans to strive further that also humbles us on our deathbeds. We will always want more, more time, resources, chances.... and that is why we fear death. Not because it's something terrible, but because it's final.

I’m 18 and I’m still very young, all though I feel old sometimes. I do, though I do unstand that this feeling isn’t the same as being 70 years old. The feeling that I’m trying to express is the change from being very young to young. For the first 16 years of my life, everything was fun and easy. My parents fed me, dressed me, brought me everywhere I needed or wanted to go, I did not have to think about anything in life. Slowly, while in high school I started te learn how to do all those things by myself. Meeting new people, sharing new experiences and developing passion for certain things you enjoy doing. My parents give me the best I could wish for, I’m grateful for them. I was truly happy and have never been hurt. My friends are always there for me, we had fun always and there were never bad times. One day, first thing in the morning at school I heard a good friend of mine died in a accident. Since that moment I know what pain is, I know that it won’t be fun always, I know that the joy and the feeling of “not knowing what pain is so you can’t be afraid of it” exists and could return at any moment. And that feeling, that hurts me. I would love to go back to when I wasn’t aware of any pain. Pain that others have to endure, pain that makes others feel pain or having to endure pain yourself. And now for the first time in my life, I’m starting to love someone other than family. Which is difficult but truly amazing though I’m probably naïve to believe that it will last forever. I do love her though. And she says de loves me. Probably we don’t even know what it means, but I still feel like saying it to her. You can regret things of be afraid of what’s coming towards you. But this video made me realize that you should pause sometimes to question yourself if something has to change to make yourself happier. I’d made me realize to look at that tree.

My wife's grandad was 96. In one of his talks with me he said he loved life, but all his friends were gone. He had family who loved him but no one he could cuss around or share a bawdy joke. He burried all 6 of his sons and two of 6 daughters. Fought in the south pacific during WW2. Grew tomatoes and chillies. Loved baseball and shaved himself every day, including the day he died. Ate lunch, was watching a baseball game on TV and at 4:30 PM when his daughter went to give him a cup of coffee, he was gone. Between when she asked him if he wanted one and preparing it, he left. I always believe he was one of the rare one who died with a satisfied mind.

Everyone knows they’re going to die, but nobody thinks they will.

I'm 37 years young right now. There's a lot to say, and nothing really to say after having watched this. Right now, I can't stop crying. I don't know that means. I guess I wasn't as ready to deal with this as I thought. I know I'm making it a point to call my people, whoever would be glad to call themselves "my" people...and even a few who wouldn't be so proud. I think I will revisit this video later. Maybe I'll be more ready, then, to share my complicated thoughts and emotions about it. For now, at least, life goes on. I can't thank you enough, Mr. Herbert, for sharing the end of yours with us. RIP

All man will experience death, no one knew when it will be and how it will be. And this old gentleman makes me appreciate things because there will be time that you will not be ever see it again, such as simple thing like seeing falling leaves. Though you're not here anymore and you will be not seeing this message, you're a great man Mr. Herbert. Thank you.

"Her absence has been to me, for a number of years now... has been a presence." Only a philosopher could figure out how to express that so accurately in words.

After 97 years, he is still trying to figure his life out. That says alot.

I believe it is important to be "death ready". House that is cleaned of clutter, main floor bedroom and handicap access bath, paper work/trust/will/"play book" completed, living within a short distance to healthcare, and a plan B if you are struck with some horrible illness. Don't leave or be a burden on your kids/family.

He died a few months after completing this film. His work was done and he was ready to go.

there's something both disconcerting and comforting about a 97 year old philosopher with no answer to the question of existence

I’ve just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Oddly, this video makes me feel better.

What a beautiful, sad, sweet and well-produced film. Such an obvious labor of love and affection - I was not surprised to see it was filmed by Herbert’s grandson. I was, however, surprised to hear Herbert, a philosopher, believed that when we die there is … nothing. And that even the question of “what is the point of life” is, in itself, pointless. Herbert died shortly after this film was made - I hope he then discovered that there was indeed a life beyond and that his pain, infirmities and sadness were replaced by peace, joy and a reunion with his beloved wife. I wish he could tell us. ❤️

he knows it now, I'm happy for him

I'm 80, and astonished to be 80. I had not planned for this. My energy levels are not what they used to be, but things that I previously thought important were actually inconsequential. People are not judging your failures, because they are worrying about how you are judging their own failures. Beyond that small nugget of wisdom, you are on your own.

When I was in my twenties, I used to visit a woman who was 102. She was born in 1889, and her clearest memories were from around 1900-1910. She lived alone in the home she had shared with her husband who died almost 50 years before. Ida Gruel told me many fascinating stories, but I quickly realized that living to be very old was not something to aspire to. She had outlived everyone she ever knew, including radio personalities and other contemporaries. She was a time traveler who, like Mr Fingarette, was just waiting to say goodbye.

Most of us watching this will never live to be 97.

Humans are the only creatures on earth that are aware of our mortality. It is a difficult thing to live with because we all strive for meaning in life. I am 79 years old, and I still struggle with these questions and fears that have been with me since I was young.

Herbert Fingarette died in 2018. Months after filming this documentary. Rest in peace.

The ability to think is both a curse and a blessing at the same time.

I feel exactly like he felt but Im only 34

As a young philosopher who thinks quite a lot about these bigger questions, this video was enlightning and soooo great! I love to use philosophy to make myself and others remember about the actually important things in life. Makes you appreciate the smaller things ;)

“When you were born you were crying and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so at the end, your're the one who is smiling and everyone else is crying.”

My grandmother said: “ every morning I ask the reflection in the mirror, who are you? Yesterday the reflection was a 20 year old woman.....now the reflection is 80 years old, but inside I am still 20 years.”

This probably is the most profound video on life that I have seen.

Thanks for making this video, this video reminded me how precious our life is and how we can appreciate things that we are surrounded of rather than complaining about those things which we don't have.

My fiance was killed in a car accident that we were both in on the 18th of December. We met when we were both at our lowest in life. We saved each other, and never even fought. It was this surreal dream of reality. We spent every minute together, and shes gone now. I'm picking off the last of my scabs as I write this. Didnt even get a broken bone. Just glass in my hand and cuts on my legs. I've been trying so hard to understand. But theres nothing to understand. I can relate so well to this man in his loss.

I suggest we all befriend an elderly person and help guide them through their final years...we might learn a thing or two.

He truly had me until the rundown of his life’s works. Wishing him all of the empathy he bestowed upon others.

He has been blessed with intellect, curiosity, industry. I actually read one of his books long ago without knowing anything much about him. A part of him is gone. Profound his reflection on the absence of his wife being a presence. So very hard to live without one's special person, whether parent, child, or life companion.

Death is a matter of perspective. To a third person, death is the end of one person. To the experiencer, death is the very end of the universe.

My neighbor across the hallway is 97 years old. his wife passed away several years ago. He often sits in the building breezeway, looking at the street. not until a couple of months ago did I know he is the reason why all the plants on our floor are alive.

The most meaningful thing I've realized at 70yo is that life is meaningless. Only the human ego agonizes about the purpose and meaning of life. Accepting the meaninglessness of it all is incredibly freeing and leads to peace and a deep connection with the nothingness of everything. Acceptance is not a new concept. It is what happens naturally when you truly live in the moment (present). This lovely man is gone now and in a few hundred years he will be forgotten as will all of us. Only the human ego cares about being remembered. My adorable rescued feral cat doesn't waste one second on such matters. I think this lovely man's home should have been downsized while he was still living and with him as overseer and actively involved. Becoming a minimalist is a great way to begin to enjoy the freedom and peace of life before death on Earth. Keep only what you need and enjoy regularly. I wish I would've understood more of this when I was younger. So many moments wasted on worry, fear, disappointment and confusion...

"Find your grandparents or someone of age Pay some respects for the path that they paved To life they were dedicated Now, that should be celebrated" - Joseph, Tyler. "Neon Gravestones"

"It will happen to all of us that one day you'll be tapped on the shoulder and told -- not just that the party's over -- but slightly worse: the party's going on, and you have to leave. That's the reflection, I think, that most upsets people about their demise." -- Christopher Hitchens

I was with my 97 year old father at the time of his death. He was not sad or lonely. Family and friends never left his side. He passed at home as his wish. He life filled with dignity and great acceptance. No meds. He lived the last few months with laughter and never complained of pain or sorrow. His life was magic, filled with generosity, kindness, love of creating a beautiful environment. Love. His memory guides me thru my time.🦋💙❤️🌺

"There is no point to it", "existing and waiting"..........Thank you for being honest!

“Many people have asked what is the meaning of life. That answer is simple. It is whatever happens to prevent one, in any given moment, from killing themselves.” -Albert Camus

"I still find that I am, in many ways, a puzzle to myself." That makes me feel a little better about not having all the answers.

Incredible stuff, absolute honor to your grandfather. Thanks for taking the time, too many of us are too "busy".

I found "the point of it all", for me. I'm 75 and have been dealing with cancer for the past twenty years, and have taken the time to question "What's the point?" I have observed almost everyone has inherited a few obvious challenges, and some not so obvious , , , weaknesses such as depression, boarder line personality disorder, bipolar, selfishness, diabetes, tendency to be fat, or a thousand other physical or mental ailments. Everyone! So my challenge, my 'reason for being' is to learn to deal with my personal challenges. No one else has my DNA nor my experiences, and we can all say that. Every day I contemplate what I should do to be a better person in spite of the package I carry. Given my condition, what can I do every day, every hour, to be a positive influence on someone else, lighten their burden, make them smile, teach a skill to a grand child, help an injured animal, whatever. That, for me, is the point of it all. I hope that helps you.

The way you treat your elders today. Is the way you will be treated when you are amongst the elders. Respect your elders.

Watching this well-made documentary, I personally arrive at the conclusion that facing my own death at 27 (70 years before Herbert) has indeed been a strangely interesting and rewarding experience. For days and years now I have tears in my eyes just watching the trees grow and flowers bloom. Tears of joy and sadness.....how wonderful life is even when one is left poor, handicapped and divorced :) I didn't expect to make it two decades more after that miserable day in 2008, but here we are. Also: My inner 97-old is looking forward to eternal nonexistence. It's all about acceptance and clarity. How privileged I am even being able to write this very personal comment, hoping that one or two living souls out there might find some inspiration and meaning in it.

What a wonderful piece of depth and realness that only one that has gone through such things can even talk about.

That woman helping him is an HCA (home care aid) let's give a round of appreciation to the HCAs in the world helping our elderly. 👏👏👏

Seeing an older person cry is the one thing that breaks me man :(

My elderly upstairs neighbor just passed away. I really enjoyed talking to him and miss him. It makes me sad thinking about how all of his memories and experiences died with him. Existence is subjective; we all get something different out of it.

Watched this a few times over the last few years from the ages of 17-19 as I embark on my journey to be a Philosopher and a young man. Each time is just as touching. Some of these comments bring a tear and smile to my face.

Wow, he´s so lucky. 97 and no cancer, parkinson or alzheimer. He can even walk and eat bacon!

One of the worst curses of aging is a mind that is still “young” in a body that is increasingly deteriorating.

we're very aware that you existed in this world herbert fingarette. i will never forget you.

Seeing an older person cry is the one thing that breaks me man :(😥

I feel like I just lost a close friend. Rest in peace, sir. Herbert Fingarette 20 January 1921 - 2 November 2018

Rest in Peace, Herbert Fingarette. I didn't know he had already died two years ago.

God bless you Professor! Very sweet and sad video at the same time. Thanks a lot! The video allowed me to remember my father who died at 87 with infinite tenderness and love. Mom died at 79 and the loss of your wife also made me understand the importance of a beloved mother in life. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

So poignant, I didn’t want this to end. Thank you for sharing.

Amazing how he can be both rational and realistic on the one hand and emotional and full of passion about death. He is truly human and genuine philosopher.

I'm not concerned about dying, I'm concerned about not living.

I don't think you can be afraid being dead. Its the process...the dying itself, that makes me worried. Ive been with people who have died and it seems we suffer both physically and mentally before we go. So we are actually afraid of suffering.

The point is that you belong with us here in our shared world. Your spirit lifts us all. Thank you for sharing that with us in all the moments you have.

The death of oneself is frightening, the death of loved-ones is unbearable

film like this makes me realize how valuable our time is.

I'm only 76 and I don't think there is any meaning to life, we just are.

Life is both meaningless and the most meaningful thing at the same time.

One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, which has reduced me to tears. Thank you so much for uploading it - and to Mr Fingarette for making it. I used to be a believer, although always torn between faith and rational skepticism. Now I think I can say I'm an atheist, as I find belief totally ungrounded and absurd. To some degree atheism has a liberating effect, but deep down I've been miserable - desperate would probably be more to the point. And I feel that a vital part of myself - I could say my soul, if I believed I have one - has died. I feel I'm not exactly "living", it's closer to existing, albeit a nice enough existence. I can totally relate to Mr Fingarette's conclusion that in no way can we come to terms with our own mortality. We don't want to die, we can't possibly bring ourselves to accept or even understand why we have to die. No explanation, no rationalization works. It's terribly lonely and terrifying. The only feasible way is to stop fighting an exhausting battle we can't win, and give in. Admit we're powerless and surrender. I'm grateful there still are people who have faith and actually believe in their heart of hearts there's a good and loving God who's just waiting for us to be with Him and live an eternal life of bliss. I can't help reckoning it's all wishful thinking - nothing but an illusion - but I find it highly desirable. And I completely understand why there are so many apologists who fight with all their might to defend faith, often clutching at straws and facing (well-deserved) ridicule. They aren't fighting to actually prove anything, as they simply can't; they're only fighting to keep their vital delusion alive. I think they are right in doing so. If Man's end goal is to attain happiness, and knowledge brings you misery, what's the point of searching for the truth, which is, on top of that, unattainable? And yet some people can't help searching. They yearn for knowledge, and I fear there might be a point of no return - when you've learnt too much, there might not be a way to un-learn and go back to believing - you're doomed. I can understand why in the Book of Genesis God forbids Adam and Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge - Man hasn't got the strength to bear it. I guess that's why Jesus said the poor in spirit are blessed. Yes, blessed are the poor in spirit. Why do we want to live forever? Maybe because we can't have enough of the love we give and the love we get. We want to love and be loved for eternity.

Our elders deserve much attention. Their stories are invaluable.

He died 5 months after this was made. Rest in peace.

My dad kept asking me more and more urgently when I would come home for years... I believe he was holding onto the hope that he would see me again. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I could not travel back home... pandemic being one of them and the after effects with respect to visa restrictions. When he could not hold on any longer... he didn't ask me when I will be back in the last call. He simply said "I love you". That was the last time he spoke to anyone... after the call, he simply told my sister that he wished to die. He passed away two days later at 85. I love you dad... thank you for being the best dad possible. I am sorry I wasn't a good daughter. I will forever carry this guilt with me.

What a beautiful and enriching experience must've been for both Herbert and his grandson to document these profound conversations about life and its unavoidable end. May we the young learn the wisdom of the old.