Hank Moody
402
Suicide Solution
THE LETTER
~~~~~~~~~~~
To my dear beautiful daughter.
I'm writing you a letter, that's right,
a good old-fashioned letter.
It's a lost art really,
like handjobs... shit.
XXXXXXXXXX
I have a confession to make..
I didn't like you very much at first
You were just this little annoying
little blob,
You smelled nice,
most of the time
But you didn't seem to have much
interest in me
Which of course i found
vaguely insulting.
It was just you and your mom
against the world..
Funny how somethings never change..
So i cruised along, doing my thing,
acting the fool,
Not really understanding how being
a parent changes you.
And i don't remember the exact moment everything
changed.
I just know that it did.
One minute i was impenetrable,
nothing could touch me,
the next my heart was somehow
beating outside my chest,
exposed to the elements.
Loving you has been the most profound,
intense and painful experience of my life.
In fact its been almost too much to bear.
As your father, i made a silent vow to
protect you from the world
Never realized i was the one
who would end up hurting you
the most.
When i flash forward my heart breaks.
Mostly because i cant imagine you
speaking of me with any sort of pride.
How could you?
Your father is a child in a mans body,
He cares for nothing and
everything at the same time.
Noble in thought
weak in action.
Something has to change,
Something has to give.
Its getting dark,
too dark to see
....................
~~~~~~~~~~~~
21 янв 2011
