A Lukewarm Defence of Fifty Shades Part 2: Things Go Downhill Very Quickly 

This is me in a nutshell.

This was me yesterday with Hbomb's video on speedruns :p

Nyrom yep! Lol

Yup.

I too am unnaturally fascinated by the insane rise of this literary dumpster fire of a book series.

Wow you’ve been here the whole time, eh?

I love that she's here. Now I wish he'd mentioned Christian's model train obsession :(

say it with me kids: *grooming!* stay safe y'all

This is where Ana's defects as a character/person show: viewing his abuser as competition to be jealous of, rather than a trash woman who abused a kid.

Statutory seduction

50 shades AU: the reason Christian is like that is because it's revealed he was sent back in time to protect Ana, terminator-style

@@Flowtail that is so powerful it's terrifying

@@CaribouGutSludge having completely forgot about my own comment until getting the notification of your reply, i can confirm

Ah yes, the car. I love that even the choice of car brand that reflect the author more than the character was translated over; Edward's choice of Volvos reflecting the brand's popularity with Mormons, and Christian choosing to show off with an Audi, a car that's way below his pay grade but looks expensive to a middle class fanfic author.

OMG, ok, that makes sense to me now. I completely forgot about the car in Twilight.

I'm now imagining the whole story taking place in ancient thebes and the ensuing is just all the women in Christians life going mad and tearing him limb from limb because Dionysus is so offended this asshole of is the king of his mothers goddamn city, the city where he was born, and is getting away with it because he's "rich." Sorry just vjsjfn in the myths Dionysus is a huge mamas boy, hater of pretty much any king, and also liberator of those who are being misused under the Man. Idk but tbh I'd totally read that book instead of the actual 50 shades books

Ooh, burn. Thank you for the laugh.

@@raynethescribe2772 That sounds amazing

@@raynethescribe2772 see, this I would read.

If he weren't rolling dollars he'd be rolling tide.

real incel vibes

I'm gonna be honest, Jack's shift from charismatic to creepy over the course of the film is the only consistently good part of the film for me

this is hands down the funniest comment here

"NYEEEEEEEEEH, ANNA! I'M 50 SHADES OF FABULOOOOOOOOUS!"

“NYAHH! IM A SADIST, I LIKE TO WHIP BIG BLOND MEN THAT REMIND ME OF MY NEMESIS, HE-MAN! NYAHAHA!!”

I wonder if anyone has made Skeletor erotica? Probably.

@@SorowFame taking boners to a new level

And without a sense of irony or perspective.

SHAAAAAAAAAAAADE

This should be pinned 😂😂😂

To quote Princess Caroline, “You want a mommy you can slide your dick in and out of,”.

@@TheMedicatedArtist Whaaaaaaaaat? Get outta here!

I'm kinkshaming.

@@chibikonatsu I'm kinkshamingshaming. It's my kink too.

favorite comment ever because how much i relate, also i deeply appreciate your profile picture and username

damn staight

Jerry.

And if all she does care about is vanilla?

That’s not even basic respect that’s just the concept of consent.

Grey and Rush Limbaugh would have been good friends

@@zapazap There’s NOTHING wrong with vanilla. Never was, never will be. As long as all participants consent. Please do note that most rapes count as „vanilla“. Aka male-on-female missionary position. That’s why we keep emphasizing consent. „Vanilla“ means shit. Consent means everything.

"consent is vanilla" says the grapeist

Of

The 3 hour „mini“ series. =D (Sorry not sorry for necroposting… =3 )

YES! ugh you put it into words - like even on the extreme end, the point is controlled experiences of fear and vulnerability and pain, and they’re sexy BECAUSE you know it can stop at any time!

amen to that

put clapping emoji between each word, please

APPLESAUCE

@The Zee no.

The Zee “you must be fucked up if you fuck through a sheet solely for procreation” - your argument in reverse. Both because it’s completely removed from what is actually the topic and because it describes something that literally isn’t exactly the thing being described.

STAHP! I've run out of PINS!

If we put a pin in Christian will he not hit us?

Ironically that was literally the profile of one of the main characters in a manhwa called Killing Stalking. And yes the character is in fact a serial killer.

@@atotalfiasco4213 yess killing stalking

Kinks have nothing to do with how unhinged and rapey a character is

I snorted when he said that.

I guess there are 51 shades in this video.

I see what you did there....

As someone who appreciates psychology, that scene made me shake my head so much I got dizzy.

Also, you'd have to be a terrible therapist to tell your patient's girlfriend that she's doing a better job at "fixing" said patient than a health professional. Any competent therapist would be like "Look, that's good of you to try to help but it's not your job to make him change, don't feel responsible for him".

In the book, he has Grey's permission.

I never even thought of that, but you're right.

Lol, one of my favorite things to do with (relevant) fiction is watch the HIPAA violations stack up. I'm a pharmacy tech, so HIPAA is a huge deal for me, and watching fictional characters blatantly disregard it is always a great time. :)

Luke Wilson in the books she says that’s exactly why. something about “what do you get the guy who can have anything he wants”

I'm sorry, but this snarling, haughty man-child is the furthest thing from a classy billionaire and I am of the honest belief that the cheap plastic key chain is the perfect gift to accept a marriage proposal to anyone who acts as awful as Christian Gray.

@@qrowbranwen8698 Perfect response, Qrow!

Qrow Branwen Except it should say "No! Get a therapist".

power move

Nate Young Right, that’s very true. And Edward doesn’t get pleasure-vengeance on another person through hurting her. In fact, his overprotective and stalker-y habits are exceedingly less hypocritical than Christian Grey’s because Edward doesn’t actually physically harm Bella (except when he sucks venom from her blood and later transvamps her).

And it’s isn’t idiotic like preventing her from listening to the radio.

What about when accidentally threw her into a table.

I’m dying!!!

Kye Dysarthria man you’re really just going around commenting on everything to disagree with everyone 😂 This is like your fourth comment I’ve seen where all you contribute to the conversation is “um actually no you’re wrong” lol you even told someone they needed to be called out like who says that?

Then put a donk on it.

Yeah, we went from conversation to cursed doll about four pins ago.

Cause jack is the bad guy with bad intentions, christian is good guy with bad intentions,(lol no) is all easy when everyone is flat

It really seems like the only thing that’s keeping Jack Hyde from being a romantic interest is...he’s not as hot as Christian?

@@BeggarsNight oh gee, that's not g o o d

@@BeggarsNight And not as rich. Don't forget that.

PuT A pIn In ThAt

"Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat? That's sadist."

"I am so over the toxic -masculinity- relationship in this -hallway- movie."

​@@nejdalejsame with, "I don't make love, I fuck. Hard."

didn't She literally write that line?

​@@galaxychill9578no that was another author

It hits the nail on the head perfectly, Christian even admitted it: he's not a dom, he's a sexual sadist, he doesn't enjoy BDSM relationships, he's incapable of feeling pleasure from anything other than inflicting pain on his mother and surrogates for her.

In retrospect it makes sense that the author was such a terrible consultant during the filming of the movies, she just has a warped sense of leadership and dominance and thinks being dominant = do everything I say or you’re shit to me

@@asteroidrules ...I don't know how to tell you that "sadism" is one of the things that the S in BDSM stands for

@@cam4636 honestly I don't think that helps lol that means when the author who shall not be named admitted he wasn't a Dom and didn't know shit about bdsm technically she's still wrong and still really stupid

I just watched a video talking Abt Killing Stalker which is a very violent and disturbing horror thriller and that profile literally matches one of the characters, a literal serial killer, rapist, abuser, literal torturer....

@

I think the main takeaway here is straight men are boring as hell and, if given the chance, will always ruin what small glimmer of art exists in dumpster fire franchises like 50 Shades

Not really, they did add changes to improve as well as still show more of Christian in a sexual light.

@@saramoreira6176 nah, straight dudes are just boring. Sorry to break it to you.

Sara Moreira I disagree. Saying that the male directors/screenwriters didn’t portray Christian in a more sexual light because it’s naturally more difficult for them (since they’re straight men) both lets them off the hook and suggests, that men are inherently unable to see or show how a man should be portrayed in order to be appealing to straight women (who are the core audience for the films). In the end, that’s dismissive of straight men as creators and also suggests, that male authors don’t need to learn how to make their creations appealing to women. Which in turn makes it sound as though women as audience members don’t need their fantasies catered to. I in no way mean all of the above to be an attack on you, but rather a criticism of the pervasive, ubquitous attitudes of film makers of today. Female gaze is something that is still incredibly rare, while long, lingering shots of half-naked women, which serve no point except tittilation of the male viewer (Star Trek 2 {the movie} anyone?) still reign supreme.

It's such a a bad misunderstanding of the concept that it's almost a joke. It's about one step from "you mean one where we eat ice cream together?'

On another note, I love this series so much! I write romance novels and love romance novels, and I feel like these videos are actually teaching me so much about the craft of writing these stories and how easy it is to go terribly, terribly wrong with them. So, thank you for helping me improve my craft!

It took me years to understand this, so I'll drop this amendment to a common phrase for you, Practice makes -perfect- _okay._ Meaning, however much you reach for perfection, always hope and dream for it, but _never_ grow to expect it, you will only find frustration. I wish you luck and skill in your writing endeavors!

Just put a pin in it.

I think its bizarre enough just as a sidenote

Irving IV I prefer the term “practice makes better”. The word okay seems a bit loaded, but practice always makes better

Why not both? :D

Well duh. I didn't say I was going to stop writing pornography. Just do it better till I can challenge the ghost of Marquis de Sade to smut off.

@@frenchcookie42 We all strive for anything better than this book's lackluster IKEA manual sex (insert tab A into slot B). xD

And I will read it, haha.

X'D

I wonder where red heads fall

@Krazy Banshee I'm assuming that they simply don't exist in the universe she created, along with pets, iPods with more than 12 songs, and guys who don't ply women with alcohol.

I love your definition, lol

Thats actually a carry over from Twilight. Stephanie Meyer also does this

@@caitmonroe9349 lmaoooo I'm dead

What tipped you off?🤔

I think that's Erika Mitchell accidentally showing her own insecurities.

@Soulcaster It's more than likely a detail carried over from Twilight. The books have a weird fixation on blondes, with blonde characters like Rosalie and Lauren, one of Bella's classmates, being portrayed as antagonistic towards Bella.

OtakuAudioRedux That’s a definite possibility, but while Meyer made two or so blonde female characters to be bitchy mean girls, James took that trope to a whole new level by making it clear, that any of her numerous blonde characters, whether they be secondary, but significant (Kate Kavanaugh, Ana’s “best friend”) or tertiary and completely superfluous to the plot (Gretchen, Gia, Elena Lincoln, Gray’s assistants and probably more) are scheming, predatory sluts, that should be judged and shamed for having sexual agency (which shy, insecure Ana doesn’t display and is rewarded for by the plot and Christian) and self-confidence. It really reads as an indictment of not only women with fair hair, but also women who dare not to be childlike, sexually naive, passive participants in their own (romantic) lives. Which leads to the conclusion, that E.L. James is a massive misogynist who was possibly slighted in the past by a pretty blonde girl...

@@haggisa I'm imagining a young E.L. James having a teenage crush on some dude that didn't know she existed. She stayed in his general orbit for a while, never making a move or inviting him to make a move, and suddenly dude gets a blonde girlfriend whom he loves and James takes it as a personal attack.

Vivi Vargas Yikes, that’s a creepy theory, but sadly, a believable one.

Can you honestly imagine how much better of a story it would be if Ana falls for Christian at first, ignoring or missing red flags the same way she does in story...but over time she starts to get actually bothered by the files Christian keeps on his old subs? And then his old sub appears...and as she learns more, this woman ends up being a walking reveal of how Christian has a pattern of manipulating and mistreating the women in his life, and then throwing them away when he's done; or when they develop issues (often caused or exacerbated by him emotionally beating them down, isolating and undermining them) that mean they can't continue to be quite as completely compliant and constantly sexually available as he wants them to be. Imagine if, instead of Christian's character being all "uwu he's damaged but see, our self insert protagonist can totally fix him with her luuurve" or EL James not being able to make up her mind about whether she thinks kink is normal and even hot or a sign of mental damage for three straight books; what if it was about how he doesn't see women - honestly, anyone besides himself, but especially women - as anything but objects to use for his own ends and so that's why he doesn't see their needs, wants, or boundaries as important. Instead of the twist being that True Lurve Conquers All and can reform even the scummiest of men, in this story it would be that Ana isn't even the only one who's ever heard the same promises that he's developing FEELINGS, because she's DIFFERENT, all those other subs meant nothing to him but she's just soooo special, look see how he's NEVER done this before with anyone else...even though he has. With at least one other woman. Which would make his strange comfortability with romantic stuff despite what he's said, actually make sense and be an unsettling piece of character development to highlight how he'll do and say whatever it takes, including lying and telling women what they want to hear, just so he can lure them in and ultimately, satisfy his sexual urges. Unfortunately EL James is nowhere near a smart enough writer to pull that story off. (Nor is she self-aware enough about how awful her dream boat dom really is)

@@margaretgibbs6673 now that is something I would read! A psychological horror story about a lying and manipulative man who fakes a safe and healthy form of relationship (Bdsm when actually happening correctly) as a way to get people he wants. And our protagonist learning about this with a mystery mixed in. And then she finally sees the whole picture. My ending would have her calling a Real therapist or even 911 to get help for this. Because she CANT change him. She's just been strung along and needs outside help.

This is actually one of the few places where the movie makes the situation actively worse. From what i remember in the novels what happens is SHE goes 'okay yeah this relationship is a whole ass mess' and then leaves. Its only because her husband dies that she destabilises and then goes to find him for some sense of comfort and after the whole thing she gets the help she needs, he pays for it as well. Last time we see her she's going to art school and is fine and has a support system.

Turns out James is a mentally ill sociopath who thinks of other women as a threat who should be gotten rid of/suffer so that she can succeed, and wrote it into her fic. Oops.

I do think it's an interesting idea, in a vacuum, to have a story about a toxic sub who wouldn't take no for an answer. That happens in real life, and it sucks and can be genuinely scary (not usually in a "breaks into your home with a gun" way, though). It's not handled well here because Grey is already a deeply toxic dom with a fragile understanding of consent. That _could_ still work--Grey being bad at consent and ending up with partners who are also bad at consent would make sense and show how he's changed. If he had changed at all.

Good thing she didn’t use Papyrus, cause this movie would’ve switched genres pretty fast.

I WAS GONNA COMMENT ON THAT BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

No, stop it, leave that font alone!

The term knight is a gender neutral term, female knights were referred to with the honorific of dame in the same way that a male knight would be referred to as "sir something". So if a female knight was named "Erica", after knighting she would be "Dame Erica". Also I agree with your point, I just wanted to be pedantic... I'm sorry, I need it sometimes.

+

Who cares, it's not like reads the comments anyway.

How DARE people complement his facial hair!

@@robinbowman1926 nah man it's totally dame or lady depending on the order. Knight is masculine. Women are not knighted they're appointed to chivalric orders. They dont hold a knighthood but a damehood (which is a silly word but what can you do). I mean it varies but if you're talking about in the majority of the world especially England where knights are a thing then a woman becomes a dame not a knight.

Glory to me, the 69th like.

Yep. Either his wants are things Ana isn't personally comfortable with but another might be, or he wants things specifically because she's not comfortable (because her distress, fear and helplessness are the real goals). Either way, they don't work as a couple where in this relationship *she* will be happy, so she should've left him.

"literally implies" "literally implies" holy fuck

I bless the rains in Seattle...

CardboardMoose i laughed too hard at this

There's nothing that two men or more could ever do.

Every time I hear that line I always think of Samuel L Jackson's line in Loaded Weapon - "Not a hell of a lot more."

Gonna take some time to do more domestic abuse @@oneopinion6806

Yeah but authors love the Madonna vs Mrs Roosevelt argument where we have bombshell/icy or dumb blondes who are all slutty. Or the brunette who is studious and a good person to bring home unlike the blonde.

What would she do with sandy blonde? Or light brown? Would she implode from the stereotypes not being clear cut anymore?

@@ninjanippledog725 what if she saw a redhead? She'd implode.

@@nunpho Redheads are fiery. Everyone knows that.

@@timothymclean come like a firecracker That's why the redhead would do

I'm sure our bicon Dakota would have loved that too

@@sapphosscullerymaid4856 and then secretly Hanna is also a Dom. Then it becomes almost a reverse of her and Christian's relationship. An assistant doming her boss.

Everything can be improved by making it gayer.

A headcanon: After the events of Freed, Hanna and Ana's relationship in the office and as friends develops into a slow burn friendship romance, and everything she does with Hanna, in contrast to how she and her kids are treated with Christian, shows her just how much she deserves in a relationship and how bad he really is for her and the kids. So, she runs away with Hanna and the kids, and airs out all the dirty laundry in the presses and in court. Though she'll likely not getting the true justice she deserves (since Grey is a cishet white billionaire man), his company's name will be forever tainted, and Christian will loose the one thing he needs most: control over what she does, where she goes, who she sees, and how she and her children live. She's truly free. And she lives out her freedom with her children and her new wife, the one who showed her the depth and breadth of the abuse she was going through, Hanna.

The reason the conversation between Anna and her assistant is more coherent is because it's lifted from another movie - Working Girl, which starred Dakota Johnson's mother, Melanie Griffith.

It reminds me of the fanfic "Trapped in a island with Josh Hutcherson", one of the lines goes something like "we stared at each other for ten minutes" (lol). It's funny to see that Erika Mitchell's writing skills are on the same level of a tween's fanfic from wattpad.

@@riley8385 "Trapped *in* an Island," not *on?*

@@lunabearsong2043 yes, *in*. Check Jenny Nicholson's video about it, it's hilarious.

The minute thing is likely not literal, people often say: "give me a minute," when they really just mean wait. He just scowled for a short spell.

@@IrvingIV A short spell? You mean like Reduce Person? Or do you mean short casting time like Magic Missile?

I'm so into this rewrite.

I really wanted the sequel to be about Ana feeling confused because she wants nothing to do with Christian (and they don’t get back together at all) but she still feels kind of interested in being spanked and whatnot. And she meets people who are actual BDSM practitioners and she learns how consent and safety are a defining part of such relationships. And that lesson leads her to lose all remaining (if any) sympathy for Christian because she has the vocabulary to recognise his abuse for what it was. For me, the first film is about (or should be about) Ana learning that she’s kind of into kink. The second film should have been about her learning that Christian definitely isn’t.

I would read the shit out of any of these.

When I was fifteen and read Grey for the first time, I thought the second one will be about her getting together with Jose (because I was a horny teenager and skipped the boring stuff before sex) or some other guy and dealing with her sexual awakening (BDSM or otherwise), because hey, this trilogy is mostly about porn, isn't it? I still maintain it would a better idea, since I got the sense of Christian's horribleness when I got older. So yes, what user36able is saying? I can totally subscribe to that line of thinking.

It's so surreal because every so often I am VIOLENTLY torn into vivid flashbacks of reading basically the exact scenes playing out in the sample clips here and I'm like 'Oh gods REAL people actually acted this embarrassing nonsense.' 50 Shades is just early 2000s trashfic before we got AO3 and good gods it is weird. I read stuff like this when I was 15, minus the sex.* Is this what getting old will feel like? This is like VHS to DVD all over again. Hint for folks who really liked the smut: There is so much better for FREE on AO3. We are so lucky to have fanfic. *Because I was a blue stocking and didn't wanna get involved with that. And FF.net smut was nearly always bad.

Matthew, in the very limited time since I've read your comment, you’ve made more progress with my perspective on patient confidentiality than any RU-vid comment has in the last two years. You have had a profound effect on me, you must see that.

@@AstralMarmot This is so funny istg

"in-depth analysis of trash media" oh god thank you! I've been trying to find a way to describe my love for this kind of work.

Which is why I love this series, and the series on Film Studies applied to the Transformers films by Lindsay Ellis. They tha bomb.

Trash media can actually depict and thus reveal so many high-level societal issues! It's double worth analyzing indeed

natchnieni0 a lot of women (at least in my experience) who aren’t blonde typically have a sort of blonde-envy in their teenage years. Probably because our culture is so blonde-centric when it comes to commonly accepted traits of female beauty. Most women grow out of it pretty quickly. This author...seems like she never quite got over it and it turned malignant as she got older. Girlfriends who were brunettes almost all told me they would dye their hair blonde or at least lighter when they were in high school. Even a previous red-headed girlfriend I had who was super out-of-my-mutant-creature-league beautiful told me she wished she was blonde when she was a teenager. Which is crazy because having beautiful red hair is uncommon and you’d think she would have been proud, but you know how teenagers just want to fit in, etc.

@@BeggarsNight So basically James still has the mentality of a teenage girl who never learned to love herself. Shocking.

Maybe her husband had an affair with a blonde.

I think it’s another holdover from its time as a Twilight fanfic. Twilight had a similar problem of a Not Like Other Girls(tm) brunette protagonist and antagonistic blonde girls who were antagonistic for seemingly no reason beyond them being a), blonde, and b), girls who weren’t Bella.

My initial thought was: if christian doesnt see another woman as a potential sexy punchingbag those woman might have a better chance at forming a normal emotional relationship with him and anna might feel threatened about that. But then i realized i have probably already thought more about this than el james.

Yeah, it was depressingly accurate.

I’m lucky. My dom is a great guy, he always makes sure that I know that I’m in complete control (even if we’re pretending like I’m not) and he’s always checking to make sure that I’m ok. He’s well aware that I’m a noob to the whole thing and that equal participation is key. It’s great. I so easily could have ended up in the clutches of a crazy Christian Gray type maniac. Instead I have a nice, safe, way to be inflicted will all kinds of bodily harm for fun

Yeah, the number of dudes that think their objectification fetish makes them "dominant" is just...sad. To the point that I'm actually kind of fond of the moment where Christian insists that he's *not* a dominant. There are so many people that need to have that same epiphany and I really wish they would.

Around 37:25

How? A lot of people weird sexual fetishes. It seems like as long as both parties enjoy it then it would hypocritical for other people with eird ferishes to judge.

Maximiliano Vazquez I really want to know if this is a real thing, and if it isn't I want it to be

Anything can be true if you believe in it hard enough. That is what we call politics nowadays.

Yessss! My thoughts and feelings exactly!

I WAS KEELING FROM LAUGHTER

Well if it wasn’t moving that’d be a pretty short jump, so good.

All relationships should include respect for boundaries.

Funny, cause of all the sex I've experienced, the stuff with straps and related toys were by far the most complicated

He's the least SSC person imaginable.

That is the core of havong a relationship as well... the fact that you can think otherwise is beyong me

@@emilyrise3145. Who said i think otherwise?

Like Sharknado, but the tornado in this movie is a metaphor for the toxic relationship.

"50 Shades of Great White"

+Soulcaster Except where Sharknado was SUPER self aware and kept repeating the moments people liked with more and more insane circumstances while just basically being a parody of itself from movie #2 onwards, the Fifty Shades films somehow seem to think that going full-crazy in their otherwise grounded BDSM erotic romance flick was somehow a good thing...? Long story short, Sharknado is effing awesome and the Fifty Shades films should have genuinely ended after movie 1 because it's the only competently made one in the trilogy and has an actual natural conclusion to the story.

that would have been a lot more interesting than what actually happens

No the first book/film was about what the writer THOUGHT BDSM relationships were like. After being corrected (not a result of mental illness, not a form of abuse, not a result of childhood trauma, etc...) she had to course correct... hence the 'sadist' angle. Ironically thought she tried to portray the BDSM as a form of abuse, it was actually EVERYTHING ELSE Christian does in this series that ACTUALLY is a form of abuse.

I legitimately thought GarBox was an actual thing for a second.

Hi Olly!

I ship this

Oh Olly, how far we've all come.

Bradley J. Cude I mean, it wouldn’t be the weirdest internet service out there

I think it’s because of how interesting it is. It’s one thing to see something that sucks, but cracking it open to see exactly how the structure works and maybe even how it can be better is so fascinating~

See, he's a sadist. And we all remind him of.. oh wait, I got that mixed up.

Learned something today. Ta

No no see the helicopter is going fast and then the engine gets explodey so the helicopter spirals out of control because those blades are turning in circles and so they carry the helicopter with it and it hits the trees like psghhgghhhhhhhhbooooooom!!!! The audience will understand.

Interesting, thanks for the info!

@@BeggarsNight, very entertaining comment!

I love that this entire comment section is almost nothing but chicks into fan fiction, erotica, twilight, and BDSM - and then there's this one guy like "this movie's helicopters are bullshit, 0/10"

Yeah especially the ending with the whole aliens just to set up Boruto. Like way to end a story all about Naruto's dream of fixing the ninja world by not fixing the ninja world.

@@upgradeninja7350 shhhhh we don't talk about Boruto

Oh man, that's also a good way to explain what (I think) is happening to Outlander (TV series). The emotional arc of the first three seasons made sense - S1: who will Claire choose? S2: can they stay together? S3: can they find their way back to each other? Since that's been resolved since season 3, it feels like there's no real emotional core to the story anymore, or it's just a rehash of the same conflict over and over.

I stopped reading Naruto after he defeated Pain, and I stopped reading Bleach after Ichigo defeated Aizen. I’m glad I did what I did on both, because both appear to have ZOMBIFIED sometime after those arcs.

​@mistertadakichi Eh... Bleach had a legitimate reason to exist after Aizen's defeat. Problem is, the next arc and the final arc were originally forshadowed either like 100 chapters or 300 chapters earlier, respectively. The fact is, there was still a lot about Ichigo as a character that was left on the table to be explored after Aizen's defeat, but because Kubo had been pushed to stretch the runtime of the Arrancar arc, Aizen's defeat had the narrative marker of the end of the series. I honestly feel bad for Bleach because the Thousand Year Blood War was the best arc in the series IMO... until Kubo's health declined and the last like 20ish chapters wound up super rushed. Heck even the Fullbring arc had a point, as it forced Ichigo to accept that "Yeah, I do like being a shinigami and fighting monsters", and also demonstrated what kind of person Ichigo... *is.* What his impact on those around him has been like. It's beautiful, albeit a very low key follow up to the Aizen fight. I'd even argue Naruto had legitimate reasons to continue after Pain was defeated. The narrative arc had been changing to, and was fully changed as of the Pain arc, be about breaking the cycle of violence. Kishimoto just did a kind of impressively bad job of tackling that arc in a satisfying way.

Dinner guests rowdy? _(Hard stare)_

I'd read that X-Men fanfic.

My jaw dropped at that scene when it appeared in this video. The delivery of the lines is exactly the same as it was in Working Girl. Dakota even makes her voice breathier like Melanie's.

It's a relatively unknown movie, so I don't dock him really on that. Thas what comments are good for

@@RE-yj5sy considering she's her mom....

YES!!

So the one piece of dialogue I thought was somewhat inspired was lifted from somewhere else. That figures. I guess I'll watch Working Girl some day. :b

That would weirdly make that scene make alot more sense lmao

Would she really self-insert as the housekeeper though?

@@oggyboggy8692 never. But I Love the Idea of her playing Christian (her self insert)

@@ilan5821 The entirety of 50 Shades but with her face deepfaked onto Jamie Donran

@@ashikjaman1940 and ONLY her face

oh and there's something more playful in the structure and the editing. it's exciting in a sweet and sharp way. Its like dan is very satisfied with his (admittedly excellent) deconstruction and it shows

The beard was holding him back.

Maybe it's confidence. Over time, more experience, more success, more confidence = better/more energetic presentation.

I could pinpoint he's having a good break with mental health. That's always good.

At least there is a coherent reasoning there cause yeah, an immortal vampire would see humans as pretty fragile.

There is also the addition that Bella is the one person whose thoughts he can't mind read. And while I can't bother to remember the distance that Edward's bullshit vampire power works on, Bella's immunity also means he can't follow her with his MIND POWERS and know where she is at all times. So add that to how he is an immortal vampire made of super glued diamonds and she is a flesh twig, and it vaguelly adds up. Provided the author actually thought this out and it wasn't just an accident.

He transforms into Drew in the middle of the night.

i read this in drew’s voice and had an out of body experience

Yeahhh I noticed that too

it's the sarcasm

lmao

I know right!? xD

We are all exploring our kinks

@@zljmbo Ours just happens to be film analysis.

Arunima Tiwari Fifty (minutes) Dan Darker 😀

@@thomassgdf8270 ;-)

Which, *in this instance*, may coincide.

Wait, that's a real British accent?

wait this is hbomberguy?

It’s not surprising at all that they did an homage to a scene in a film the lead actress’s mother starred in.

I thought that was him!

K Saunders as someone who reads fanfiction this is kind of common. Tons of them do this. I think they do it for the same reason that people in fanart have characters say things from other material that suits that character well. That’s something usually done for comedic purposes.

brmbly wouldn’t put it past him

the grammar freak in me screamed in agony at that part

The editor hung him/herself after page 1.I’m calling it now.

He hacked her inner goddess at the same time he hacked her phone. Multi-tasker, you know?

This, like virtually every other line in the 50 shades series, only sounds natural if you envision Erica Mitchell saying it

orijimi Could someone explain what it would mean? I'm not familiar with Chronicles of Riddick

@@wqtercolor That Christian actually has a personality hidden somewhere in that husk of his that liked a fascinating but not entirely sound sci-fi movie enough that he put a poster for it up on his wall as a teen. Basically, that Christian had anything resembling whimsy.

Adds more personality to him than any of the dialogue.

Since he's usually portrayed as some corporate husk of a person until the BDSM pops up, without the poster and the trauma you could replace him with a fucking mannequin on wheels and nothing would change, probably why they lean on his trauma so much as a defining feature of his character and personality. I love the Riddick movies and while I would probably never in a million years ever see a Fifty Shades movie, if they had worked it in to his character/childhood a bit then he would be a much better character, or at least deeper

That's not really re writting the character.

Her Mom?

@@salmay.2186 Melanie Griffith

So why does this actress do the lines worse than Melanie Griffin if she can copy them rather than interpret them and she has not interpreted them ? Sloppy lazy writing

Little Sparrow that was infuriating

Ha! I’m new to this review and I’ve never watched 50 Shades anything, nor read the books...and I know this comment is a year old... But when I heard that line, I immediately thought, “Wasn’t that from the end of ‘The Working Girl’ spoken by Melanie Griffith? “ Then it clicked that this actress is Melanie’s daughter.

Please?

I'll only buy that if it comes with unedited laughs.

@@riley8385 You both have made a product that I would surely invest in

I'd pay so much money for that

I almost died when I heard his line Please, I want that so much

The films were shot in Vancouver. Actually a lot of movies and tv shows are shot there: X-Men, Minority Report, Twilight films, Man of Steel, Once Upon a Time, Riverdale, etc. I'm pretty sure that there are subsidies and tax incentives.

@@EvanSol919 Canada is known to be cheaper to film in, though I couldn't tell you why.

What's even funnier is that EL James is British and seemingly did no research on basic Americanisms, let alone the specific geography of Washington. She constantly uses British slang, everyone drinks tea constantly, she thinks people can drive across entire states in only an hour or less, etc.

I have to admit when you said that it was shot in Vancouver I got really confused, because I live in Vancouver, Washington. It's in close proximity to both Seattle and Portland, and I even know where WSUV is but a lot of the shots in the movie don't look familiar. It being shot in Vancouver B.C. makes more sense.

Yeah, the scenes at WSUV were shot at the University of British Columbia. I remember there was a day when all the UBC banners were replaced with WSU logos, and we were all very confused, then thoroughly entertained when we found out why

fuck I love this comparison of e.l. james to ebony

I remember back in high school when I was first hearing about this book and it was starting to blow up, etc I was interested by the fact that it was adapted fanfiction. I wrote a lot of fanfic at the time, and had read tons of amazing stories on fanfic net, so I was somewhat inspired and wondering what kind of amazing fanfic story it would have to be to get that kind of attention. But, um... I read excerpts of it and... yeah, needless to say I was extremely disappointed that *that* was the fanfic that got a mainstream major adaptation seeing as there are far higher-quality stories you can find just spending a good bit of time browsing on the site, so... yeah. Oof.

Ahh, don’t do My Immortal like that. At least Ebony was an icon

Half of the reason I write stuff is as a context for researching random bullshit. Why did I create a character who lived from 1840 to 1952, barely aging at half the rate he should? Because I wanted to write about the Civil War, Indian Wars, Spanish-American War, and WW1. So I made a character who survived the Battle of Gettysburg, the Battle of the Little Bighorn, the Battle of San Juan Hill, and the Battle of the Somme, and who went gold mining in Alaska during the Yukon Gold Rush just because. But then, on the other hand, I just spent an hour researching course requirements at three nearby colleges because his niece's girlfriend is a roboticist. And her interest in robotics comes from the bionic hands her mother wears as a result of a traumatic injury, so I had to familiarize myself with transradial amputations as well. But my audience is me. A few people apparently find what I write interesting, but the only reason I know that is because I love looking at analytics pages. The weird thing is, Mitchell actually does do some research. Grey's apartment could be taken from a floorplan of actual apartments at the actual building he lives in, and she even got the time that Ana would arrive in Georgia (based on her departure time, the flight length, and the time difference between Seattle and Georgia) correct. But those are all things that, in a well written story, could be ignored. In a well written story, no one would really care if Ana spent two extra hours in the air tha nshe should've. When I write, I only base my homes on actual floorplans because I find it interesting to research them and easier than making a believable home (as I have very different ideas of what makes a nice house than modern designers). What she *doesn't* research are important things like how helicopter crashes don't work that way or literally anything about BDSM.

As someone who struggles to maintain focus with novels, omg does focusing on details make me check out. It's why I hate Tale of Two Cities!! Don't remember much, and I was made to read it twice in high school!

Linkaraaaa

Mine cut the book up into stripes, folded them into v shapes and wove a trash Basket from it.

And the author says they have a healthy relationship lol.

​@@NobleAbsinthe I don't know if this is exactly an original take, but I'm convinced Christian is actually the author insert/POV for EL James rather than Ana. You can't write what she did and then be baffled when people call the scenario you wrote out for what it very blatantly is. For someone who wrote about a very specific romantic scenario ostensibly from the point of view of the woman, we very rarely actually have Ana do more than respond to Christian's whims. I understand why some aspects of this may appeal to female readers, but the fact that she's such a control freak (period), but especially in regards to keeping Christian's abusiveness, misogyny, "I'm shitty but it's okay because I'm (air quotes) damaged"-ness, and the part where (despite being a demonstrably bad person) nothing bad ever happens to him that's actually the result of his actions, makes me think she sees him as the moral and conceptual center of the story. Everyone who "harms" or in some way slights Christian is not because they think he's a bad person, they're just cartoonish obsessive stalkers. Raaah I want to kill you because you won't fuck me. Raaaah I want to kill you because you're successful and I'm not. If you wanted to have an interesting "villain", having an investigative reporter accusing him of being abusive or a r*pist would be an interesting (if possibly all-too-accurate) conflict. If you told me a man wrote this book, I would assume he was a raging misogynist. I'm not sure what exact neurosis is going on in James's brain, but she clearly isn't a good person or doesn't understand what a healthy relationship is, wrote a book where an abusive man is aspirational, and breathlessly defended it in the face of people pointing out how clearly vile it is.

@steelplatedheart -- I keep forgetting about the food-control weight-shaming issues because I've never read the books or seen more than these clips in Dan's vlog essay trilogy. But coming back to rewatch it, I find myself wondering if *both* Christian and Ana are her author avatars, but Christian's fictional body also hosts the words/actions or 'spirit' so to speak of someone from ELJ's past who said the same sort of things to the younger naiver 'Ana'-ELJ. . So ELJ takes the position of power (away from the someone in her past) by becoming the self-hate talker as Christian, but the person she's targetting is still Ana. Who continues to reside in some corner of ELJ's mind. Who still wants to recieve that approval from 'Christian' (either by finally 'getting it right' within his conflicting, shifting rules or by being told she's right enough already as herself and the rules are wrong so she can stop trying to fulfill them). . But since ELJ is effectively talking to herself from both sides of the author-avatar relationship, she can't channel anything lastingly positive through either avatar (Christian apologizing and becoming actually a better person, Ana asserting herself permanently), because both avatars are damaged halves of the same damaged whole, stuck in an unresolvable loop. . She needs an outside voice that she'll actually listen to, in order to change one or both sides of the internal narrative being lived out by her avatars. This would be a good time irl for a quality therapist to enter Stage Any-Side-At-All, Just-Get-In-There!

Not to psychoanalyze Erika Mitchell too hard, but I feel like this is an extension of the same way Christian forces his expensive gifts on Ana, and forces his kinky sex on her, so she can stay humble and proper and so on. He's forcing food onto her, aggressively telling her to eat more, so Ana can be skinny and still eat a bunch. As somebody who is _not_ skinny, I have fantasized so often about how great it must be for others to actually encourage you to eat, even encourage you to eat unhealthy desserts etc, instead of judging you for it. Getting to eat without shame, not having to feel disgusting for it. And looking at Erika Mitchell, maybe she also feels like that.

Old comment, but I grew up in west Washington across the water from Seattle and was thinking the same thing. Three hours is a pretty conservative estimate, unless you were going over the speedlimit at 3 AM or something.

Can confirm, only ever came close to *only* 3 hours when speeding 20 over on not-worst-hours... ...hypothetically, I mean. Because I would never *actually* speed, even on accident. This is all mere conjecture and, uh -- >.> ... *sidles away like an awkward store mannikan come to life only to realize it's naked in public and standing there talking about it is just making things worse*

How have I never thought of this in the like 6 times I've watched this video!!!!

This is highly underrated

… and STILL feel unsafe! And dirty by association! Ugh. >.

i would dye my hair hot pink and have him pay for all the plastic surgeries im going to get to not look like his mother. and then move continents

A glittering bullet proof tank.

But the reviewer's right. Edward's a bad boyfriend and person, but from his perspective the thought of Bella getting hurt would be legitimately frightening. No one else he's close to has that problem, so it'd be new to him, and he knows just how squishable humans are, having squished many himself. But Christian is as human as Ana, so he's just being a controlling jerk.

@@elafimilo8199 Oh no. Christian Grey is a stupid, manipulative, abusive piece of shit. Edward was a creep but he was at least concerned about Bella's wellbeing and not just trying to flaunt his wealth and pull the rug out from under her. Edward didn't buy Bella a car in the first book, it was the fourth book (i think)

@@Izzrules I refer you to Edward's judgmental attitude and to his murders. (I'm not comparing Edward and Christian here. Christian does seem like the worse person.)

See, but that concern makes some actual sense. Edward is an immortal superhuman being, who is dating a fragile, squishy, and fairly clumsy, human who is, ya know, vulnerable to injury/death, so it actually makes some sense he'd be overly concerned about her safety. Christian doesn't really have a reason to feel that way.

Thank you!!! I'm glad someone else seen that shit!!!

Of course that slipped through. Erica seems to lack a yikes filter, why stop at just the sexual/relationship abuse?

oh, thats a very good point. Along with Grey's constant manipulation, thatd be a really nice story beat. shame

This is hands down the most hilarious comment on this video. 😂

I snorted in my water omfg XD

HAHAHAHAhaHAHa!!!! Good one... Nice shade...

This is pretty bad writing. It reads like something straight out of 50 Shades of Grey!

I'd argue this is better written than 50 Shades X'D GJ!! 👏👏👏

"I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't *fit in*." "That's like asking han solo 'how's space?'"

​@@ILikedGooglePlus 13 shades of why

He’s a west coast billionaire. Of COURSE he doesn’t employ minorities.

The dark brown hair is only one feature - Lila and Ana both look alot like his mother. I think it's pretty obvious he's only into white girls, more specifically brunette white girls. He isn't attracted to dark haired black women for the same reason he isn't attracted to light haired white women. It's not a race thing, it's a "they look like Mommy" thing.

There are two genders: blondes and brunettes

​@laurendearnley9595 You got their point backwards; they're not asking why not date black women, they're asking why not *employ* black women since they're on the same level as blondes I guess.

I also still don't get how a family that rich seemingly keeps info about their children off the internet (so he had to go to their house) but then lets guests at their fancy party wander off into a private part of the house where sensitive personal information is still hanging up on the walls.

Yeah, he very easily could’ve just put an ad out on Craigslist or something.

He *does* fit the profile of an unusual *specific class* of sadist (a psycho-sexual sadist), though.

@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick Looking: 29M seeking brown-haired F who looks like his mother to beat and abuse when he's bored frustrated or horny who will act like a mother/maid/secretary otherwise.

It's because he knows any experienced masochist would pick on his abuse and red flags

Probably just another artifact of the writer not knowing anything about the things she's writing about and not realizing the difference between someone who just enjoys pain and a psychosexual sadist.

OH MY GOD LOL

I'm going to Headcanon that's Grey's actual job

@@Tareltonlives Give him a german accent!

He turns into that one doctor from black mirror

You love it!

Yes, a recurring theme in Twilight is biological instinct, and this idea that men have a biological instinct to want to protect women they're into. The same idea carries in the 50 Shades world.

As someone who still genuinely enjoys Twilight for what it is occasionally Dan says things about Christian that immediately remind me its a twilight fanfic. The moody midnight piano music from the first video and the overprotectiveness in this one. (I actually would love to hear someone talk about how 50 shades was also terrible as a Twilight AU sometime but I doubt that’ll ever happen)

Well is "I'm a vampire" a better explanation for not speaking and being emo and boring than "I'm a billionaire but I sad cuz my mother was a crack whore"? XD

blueisasomedancer **grabs popcorn** well, no time like the present: what're your thoughts on the matter?

And even then only partially. This could just be me, but if I were in the situation of being promoted to a significant responsibility in the workplace because of my billionaire sugar daddy I would feel HORRIFICALLY overwhelmed, not to mention guilty. Of course this would be notably different from the guilt I’d be feeling from being intimately familiar with a billionaire, and failing to smother them with a pillow.

@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick I don't know. The way I view it is - if my sugar daddy/husband was a billionaire and was willing to eat the cost of the company in order for me to have a job, that probably ensures the job security of everyone else that works there at that point, even if I sucked at my job. He already bought a company for me, so paying people a good wage to keep doing their job ain't the worst, really - I'd just ask for training as I went and do my best with everything else for that reason alone.

@@thestorygiver6217 They’re a billionaire. What makes you think that they care about paying people’s wages?

@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick Essentially - "This is now my publishing company, please keep paying my employees I am your wife and it would make me happy" and he would do it or whatever. He might not care about the employees, but hopefully he would care enough about me after literally buying a company to agree XD

@@thestorygiver6217 That’s a novel concept. Make the fella simp hard enough to give his workers job security.

Hbomb just put out a really cool video too!

gotta get em all out before that patreon deadline

Aw heck you're right, now I have to watch all of The Whole Plate again.

I ship it.

The long, boring middle of the month is always the saddest time on youtube.