A new plan for anxious feelings: escape the custard! | Neil Hughes | TEDxLeamingtonSpa 

I don't normally comment on RU-vid, but this video was just too good! Thanks for making me laugh and putting a difficult topic into a situation which everyone can understand and connect with. I am also impressed that he stayed calm and cool under pressure with his slideshow errors. Bravo!

Do you guys feel really weird at a moment (for me it last no longer than one minute) when the fear is gone? I don't know how to explain it, but sometimes I feel like I was worrying so much, that when the anxiety is gone, I'm feeling uncomfortable and I feel the need to find something to worry about...

sitting at work watching this and crying. I wish I had someone to talk to about my anxiety. My family doesn't get it...they usually tell me to get over it. And I try! but fail miserably.

From now on, when I’m having a bit of a rough day with anxiety I’m going to stop calling it anxiety attacks I’m going to say “I’m stuck in custard”

I've been having paralyzingly debilitating anxiety for a decade now, and it's gotten so much worse since my friend was murdered a month ago. I'm in the loop from the first thing I wake up in the morning to when I reluctantly fall asleep at night. I'm constantly afraid that I'm not taking deep enough breaths or breathing enough in general. So I end up overdoing it and feeling like gonna pass out which only makes it worse. It makes me feel a bit better to hear these confirmations that I'm not alone in this terrifying experience.

Thanks you ! Very inspiring :) Anxiety is almost never talked about in our society, mental diseases like depression are barely talked about freely but anxiety is way too often underrated. Like you said, we are all struggling at some point with our own custard trap, putting on a "daily happy" mask making it pretty impossible to detect the pain people have to bear everyday. We need more talks like this to uncover the veil and learn to help each other reaching a more solid ground like you said. Thanks again, I needed to hear that today ;)

I was having an anxiety attack before going to sleep, came across this video and I feel calmer now. He is right about anxiety tiring us out, especially if you have physical problems as well. Main thing is to take awareness of your thought patters, and try to change your personality every single day. You will feel better at the end of day knowung you've put in the effort

Neil, thank you for sharing this metaphor. The more people that openly share personal experiences of mental illnesses, the less stigma they will carry. This is the first time that I've heard someone explain what I have been feeling my entire life so perfectly. I'm beginning to understand that people are patterns. One of my patterns (or cycles) is: Anxiety - Illness -Depression. It's exhausting. The exciting thing is that I can see that pattern. Now the challenge is to break it...

Neil - I'm nearly through reading your book, and after working on myself for over a decade, I can say it's one of the best summaries of lots of different coping tools that I've ever read - and it's really funny too - Douglas Adams would be proud. I'm glad I found your work and I'm going to work on many of your suggestions. Thank you!

I feel as if I've been in a custard mine-field for the last year or so. Now I feel I have tools to deal with my intense anxiety and stop living in fear every day. I honestly felt my shoulders come down from my ears and my body relax somewhat just listening to your talk. I look forward to checking out your website. I can't thank you enough!

Funny and excellent. My anxiety is mostly based in physical sensations, too.

I'm a hypochondriac and I fear death & I hate living this way. It's very exhausting & im only 20 yo. This helped!

I loved this live and I still love it. Great talk mate.

Incredibly clever guy I can tell. This really helps me, thank you.

fantastic talk! Very insightful and really opened my eyes. Thank you!

That was really brilliant. Especially about when negative thoughts come into your head over nothing. I do it constantly.. so now I'm going to try your advice about paying attention to the thought and breaking the habit.

Thanks for this Neil! I can absolutely relate. And I love that you mentioned neuroplasticity--it's a concept that is just fascinating to me. We CAN rewire our brains?!?!?!? Mind blown.

Great to see the TEDx Leamington Spa talks online at last and this is a great one. Well worth a watch for anyone who's ever felt the pangs of anxiety.

he is such a cute human!

Amazing. This needs to be seen by way more people

Thank you for making me laugh, oh how I've missed laughing

I have severe anxiety & relate to everything u say & ive been extremely depressed for so long. You made me laugh so hard during this 😂 - thank u

Boy does this make so much scenes. Well done.👍❤️🙏

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS I HAVE SEEN ABOUT DEALING WITH ANXIETY. I HAD PROBLEMS WITH IT FOR A WHILE NOW AND WHAT HE SAYS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE...

yes it's mindfulness meditation

Lovely! Thank you so much. I will use your tip.

Def gonna listen to this again. Great explanation about anxiety..

Maybe this is off point but how is it so many Brits are so casually hilarious? Here he's talking heavy subjects like anxiety and suicide but it's kinda like watching stand-up... easy to see how he could keep his anxiety hidden, so happy for him that he's found healing and is sharing it with us.

This was very helpful as well as humorous. Thank you!!

Love it, I'm sharing this one!!

Great talk. Good pointers on changing thought reactions

Absolutely brilliant - it totally made sense to me - thank you so much

thank you ❤

Very insightful and inspiring talk, cheers mate

My entire persona is unfortunately ironic because I'm emotionally insecure but this video was actually solid. Thanks Ted xx

This was so good 😭

I love this!!! You are speaking for me :D We are the Custard Club!

greatest talk I have seen on TED so far...and I have seen almost a 100.....3 cheers from India

Wonderful! Thank you so much

If it weren't for this talk, I would've been all the way in the custard. Thanks for giving me insight. Thanks for giving me the tools to fix myself.

This talk was great! I could listen to him for hours! Funny and great examples to explain a very difficult subject.

Wish I was Rich. I could have been a motivational speaker if it wasn't for my Anxiety and Depersonalisation disorders. Spend my days with regrets.. What a Life I lead

AT LAST SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS WHATS GOING ON IN MY HEAD. next problem now l have to work out how to fix it

Amazing Neil!! I loved it. Very well done!

Despite having 3 lakh views why has this enlightening stuff got only 5k likes...

Jarrad Hewett has an amazing sound healing (free on RU-vid) that can clear out fear energies. Energy healing can clear out these patterns surprisingly fast, so I thought I would mention it here. Jarrad does really good work.

Yes, very good, good description, good ways to proceed!

Fantastic talk, really helpful.

Great talk for sure!

good and beautiful thanks my dear soul friend

Humour is my Passion 😇 Thank you🙏🏼 for you way of feeling... Delicious 🤤 ❤️ 😋

I don't think I've ever commented anything so personal but I really want to understand.. I love my friends. I would love to continue to connect with them. But these friends are overseas, my closest ones. That's okay there's apps at least. But there's a huge time difference. That can be a hassle but okay we can adjust. But life. But theres so many days that I feel like I'm only just keeping up with the people physically around me. I feel so guilty for not connecting with my overseas friends more. There's this one friend that's extremely near to my heart that I haven't connected with for a almost a whole year. And there's so many group chats to keep up with. And apps..so many apps. I don't to even have that many but it already feels a lot at times. Leave them? Delete them? No, Id lose contact faster and I wouldn't get to experience conversations with all my high school friends together again. But honestly? There are days where I dodge my phone all together. I feel guilty all the time when I remember and then when I finally send those messages and get the responses and reply and get other responses there are honestly days where I do everything in my power to not check these messages because then I will have to deal with it all. I don't know why I'm like this. It makes me feel even more guilty. I have probably made a whole bunch of people I love feel at the very least frustrated if not hurt at some point. My friends from overseas, the closer ones are very understanding and I feel even more ashamed and like I don't deserve to know such people. And maybe I don't. I always prefer calling. I love listening to my friends. I don't know why messages and message numbers and groups overwhelm me so much. Does anyone else have these experiences? What even is going on with me to exhibit these behaviours? I look up to those who can keep up with everyone at the same time, consistently and answer almost immediately each time..

Sounds like a different way of describing cbt

Summary : Custard traps , is a beautiful metaphor! - appear invisible (self observation) - self reinforcing ( do sth diff) - habitual ( replace longterm )

Great talk, love it : ) !

well spoken! is it me or this guy is Samwell Tarly doppelganger twin

awesome! Gd Bless!

I loved it.

I relate to this so much, I have been suffering with Generalised Anxiety Disorder for almost 2 years now. I talk about very similar topics on my channel too, feel free to come over and show a little support, thank you for listening.

Love this ted talks!he sounds like he is from wirral?

This anxious feeling is soooo... 😞😦😖

are you telling me i can dodge anxiety? im telling you, when the time comes, you wont have to

Good video my friend but only problem creativity=acceptance .the more you run the more problems chase you.just face them give them 100 percent attention and they will give you the answer

Too fast. I did not understand completely, but seems interesting.

wow , i´m still have no clue , thanks man

swimming is also a metaphor for something you must keep doing. Fighting off alien attack kittens is a metaphor for something you must keep doing. What makes the custard metaphor really good is that there's that little custard flavor in the back of your mind every time you think about the custard.

danish national anthem

Cannot get rid of anxiety

CHOOSE HOW TO RESPOND 1 a thought appears. 2 followed by a feeling. 3 followed by a response. Step three is where you are. RIGHT NOW.

გრაციას, ამიგო

thank you

Anyone else has spent *many* years in a custard trap?

I've watched a lot of these Anxiety videos on TedTalks and this is easily one my favourites. Great work Neil.

Great talk, Neil. Dealing with mental health seems to be a lone fight, sometimes. Happy to know that you talk about it openly and share your experience with others. That is brave.

insightful! I really liked the part where he said that when you're triggered by something that makes you anxious, that's the time where you do something different like drink a glass of water, meditate, etc to get your brain to associate that trigger with something more positive!

This resonated. Thanks for sharing Neil!

don`t worry about, its just Steve

A wonderful talk on a truly life-draining and tragic problem. Thank you Neil.

greatest talk I have seen on TED so far...and I have seen almost a 100.....3 cheers from India

Well done. It's refreshing to hear someone speak honestly and naturally. Healthcare professionals have tools, but the average person has the experience. I think we all want to relate and not feel like we're the only ones with a problem.

Well done, Devious Custard ;)

I have anxiety for no reason for about a week . This sucks I just want to feel normal again

Thank you. I really needed this today. :)

Well, wow, thanks man, that was so good, funny, real and very helpful! I will share it! 🥰🙏🏼

could you add spanish subs? i would really apreciate it!

Within the first 2 minutes you perfectly captured and articulated my 12 year old son’s life with anxiety! Thank you for such a great video.

I want to hug him ❤️ amazing speech !

So good! Thanks for sharing this wisdom

Thank you Neil looking forward to reading your book, " Walking on Custard & The Meaning of Life". 🙂🌸

Thank you so much for this wonderful talk. You're helping a lot of people here. Much love and appreciation. xx

hi neil. just finished your book and gotta say it was great. i could really relate to it and its answered many of my questions. really big help towards relieving my anxiety. (the jokes did get a tad annoying though, have to agree with your inner critic lol!)

I like you alot dude you were so yourself n open and funny!

This is a top video guys

This video made me happy, its so good! It's a relief to know we are not alone with our own problems. Life is all about learning..

For years, I had been saving up to buy my first home. I lived with my mum while I saved, but when she died, I had to move out quickly. I could have afforded to buy a reasonable house, but my girlfriend invited me to live with her, which I did. We did look at a few houses together, and I chickened out of viewing some more. When I received some inheritance from my Mum a few months later, I was in a great position. I was overwhelmed with what I could afford. But a voice in my head told me to keep saving. Then, a couple of months later, I found out that my job may be moving from where it was, 25 miles from my girlfriend's, to nearer to hers. I convinced myself that I should wait until I knew where my job would be based before I bought somewhere (even though I realistically knew it would be moving). Before I found out where it was moving to, I got priced out of the market. I had seen the prices rising, but the 'voice' told me to keep saving, as I would be able to 'catch up' and afford the standard of house that I saw when I first inherited. Then my girlfriend dumped me, making me homeless. It's only as I look back that I can see that I was suffering from anxiety. I'm indecisive, I overthink, I bite and pick my fingernails and the skin of my fingers. But if I had been asked if I had anxiety, I would have denied it. I didn't think 'I'm afraid of buying the wrong house, so I don't think I will try', but my brain concocted irrational excuses so that I wouldn't get in to anxiety inducing situations. I didn't even realise I was doing it. The anxiety also warped my thinking. I 'forgot' that house prices generally increase, or at least I thought that if I saved as much as they were increasing by, then I was 'doing well'. But I didn't realise that for each month I didn't buy a house, I would eventually pay more for it when I did. I now know that I was anxious about making a 'wrong' big decision. I've never had to make a 'big' decision in my life. All the 'big' changes have been forced upon me, and I haven't had many options to take. The realisation of this anxiety has really depressed me, as I realise how my life could have been so different if I had discovered it sooner. I had two long-term relationships and regret not marrying either of my partners. I was too anxious about making a 'wrong' decision by marrying one of them. While we were dating, as long as I didn't propose then I had the option of marrying, but once I had a proposal accepted, I could never 'go back' to how it was. It's certainly true that anxiety is on a spectrum. One of my partners had anxiety, which I did research so that I could support her. Not once did I think that what I was reading applied to me. It's certainly been an eye-opener and I so wish I could turn the clock back 5 years (or more) knowing what I know about myself now.

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant 😁💖💖💖

Wow! I’m speechless

Many good points to remember. Thank you😊

i need that solid ground

Thank you!