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a string of sh*tty dates (dating in nyc) 

Grace Yao
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This is what dating has been like for me this year as a 24 year old living in NYC. I talk about how dating has been different for me this year. I talk about using Bumble for the first time. I talk about attraction, and why it’s such a strange thing. I talk about going on dates with people I’m not attracted to. I talk about dating older men. I talk about the best date I’ve been on this year. #relationships #dating #datingin2023 #nycdating
instagram: @grace.yao
tiktok: @grace_yao
shot on canon m50
edited with final cut pro
graphics made on autodesk sketchbook

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21 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 58   
@themore-you-know
@themore-you-know 10 месяцев назад
Possible summary of the video: "I'm a depressed and self-absorbed woman who slept around to feel validated, in spite of my average life/looks/career/student debt, and I'm wondering why the few well-above average men who attract me and all of the women who seek well-above average men won't start conversation with me. So I lowered my standard to go on dates of people of my people, and I disliked the men who are my equivalent." Would it be fair to imagine similar videos by the guys "she lowered her standards for", and who went on dates with the above woman: "Depressed and whiny girl with a social media account ready to criticize me, and who had no skills at long term partnership (aka film school), felt entitled to my conversation. I got the ick from all of that."
@mediabiasdetector
@mediabiasdetector 10 месяцев назад
As someone who is married, this was interesting for me to watch. I get that your allowed to be picky with who you choose for a partner especially if you are looking for something serious, but no one is perfect and that everyone has their own quirks like their voice which may be annoying but it's minor compared to things that actual contribute to the quality of a relationship, such as finding someone who is loyal, trustworthy, and wants to go through the ups and downs of everyday life with you. Sometimes there are things that my partner does that sometimes drives me crazy lol but we love each other so in the end it honestly doesn't matter.
@doctor_cats
@doctor_cats 10 месяцев назад
Yes your standard is too high , aim to date people in your zone , in dating app you get "too much options" which desensitize you. So try to find small things that makes u happy, instead of thinking about their bad traits, think about their good traits. After dating so much people u can see most people equal out with pros and cons. If u dont wanna change the way u think about these good and bad traits , it might even affect your future relationship , especially after the honeymoon period
@totallysawthat
@totallysawthat 10 месяцев назад
Since there is a 2x sample size of men on dating apps over women. Imagine what "quality" women there are on the app. Also, "I wasn't attracted to his voice" Imagine if someone said that about you? Do you realize how superficial you sound?
@pamfan221
@pamfan221 10 месяцев назад
Why is it so offensive to you that voice is something people can be attracted to? Or conversely, not attracted to? Don't take her standards so personally.
@van2810
@van2810 10 месяцев назад
Perhaps you are not matching with quality people because you yourself are not of quality. Most likely the men that meet your standards have plenty better options and swiped left on you. Hopefully some will lower their standards and give you a chance.
@pamfan221
@pamfan221 10 месяцев назад
Who so bitter? She's sharing her experience and opinions, and they are valid. This is not some men vs women war.
@van2810
@van2810 10 месяцев назад
@@pamfan221 She said herself that she couldn't find quality men, and had to lower her standards to give the unattractive men a chance. I am referring her to the same perspective of what is happening on the other side. Dating site is a numbers game, she is competing with a lot of other women's profiles for the high standard men, and evidently these men aren't matching with her. She comes off with an inflated ego and standards in this video, and that is the criticism that she is receiving.
@TheChariot99
@TheChariot99 9 месяцев назад
She's an Asian woman. I'm surprised there's no white man to scoop here..this is rare. I think it's a you think not your dates. Asian women are usually scooped up asap by white dudes.
@lw4423
@lw4423 2 месяца назад
Instead of thinking of yourself as failing in dating, think of yourself as succeeding in being a free sex worker.
@Randompotatoes-qs7bm
@Randompotatoes-qs7bm 6 месяцев назад
Hey girl. As another woman. I think the best thing is to figure yourself out first and what is important to you. Like deep down personally. That’s so important. This a great time to figure yourself out and go to therapy and improve yourself for you. Then you can date and find someone who fits with who you are. I don’t think looks matter that much and please ignore all the people saying stupid stuff regarding your attraction to people. They don’t know who or what you are attracted to. The main thing is just get to a point where you are ok and feel whole in yourself. After that you date and find someone who can be a nice fit.
@neymar-e2d
@neymar-e2d 10 месяцев назад
Thank god she quitted ig
@P99-v6n
@P99-v6n 5 месяцев назад
You need a makeover inside and out. Even mid value men won't waste their time with this.
@babygeneral1985
@babygeneral1985 10 месяцев назад
I'm from N.Y. & you're not bad looking at all so if you're texting & they aren't texting back it is most likely someone out of your league cause men in the same league are always receptive to get to know someone,Chad & Tyrone has way too many women lining up for sex to even be blinking to the side but if you're one of those who consider man in your same league not enough of has to go for the Top 1% of Men then you go queen,Good Luck to you
@ThinkAbstract
@ThinkAbstract 10 месяцев назад
A literal 3/10 complaining about not finding a 9/10. Do you realize that the ones you are trying to get will not settle for you?
@pamfan221
@pamfan221 10 месяцев назад
A literal -1/10 leaving an insult instead of any constructive advice.
@DelTacoJosh
@DelTacoJosh 10 месяцев назад
I don't think she mentioned numbers or ratings at all. It's okay to want to try to find someone you're attracted to.
@AnalExpedition
@AnalExpedition 7 месяцев назад
@@pamfan221what’s wrong with acknowledging that she’s extremely shallow and elitist about men’s looks?
@artcorbeau
@artcorbeau 7 месяцев назад
@@pamfan221 a literal kid thinking -1/10 is a smart insult. You just come of as an offended fragile woman who took it too personaly
@t81629
@t81629 10 месяцев назад
Try meeting people outside of apps.
@krzqt
@krzqt 9 месяцев назад
BWC only stare
@user-783hhss7w2oifhe
@user-783hhss7w2oifhe 7 месяцев назад
Based on her old vid, this is absolutely true lmao
@bolt9110
@bolt9110 4 месяца назад
i suppose you could ask yourself why am I struggling to find someone you are aroused by. How different am I to my mother, my grandmother, my great grandmother's experience? What percentage is it that: men are lesser And what percentage is it: women are pickier . so maybe the solution is somewhere in-between men getting better and woman getting less picky. EDIT; You might also want to ask yourself, What problems does dating solve? And what problems did my mother, grandmother and great grandmother have that you don't.
@danielzhu1463
@danielzhu1463 10 месяцев назад
Lol it's probably you.
@tinytina8451
@tinytina8451 10 месяцев назад
Hey gurlie, I don't usually comment on vids, however, I really resonated with most of the ideas you shared! With time we will find someone who we connect with! Sometimes we just aren't exposed to the right pool of people and maybe we just need to try to push ourselves out into doing some new things ex) volleyball or bowling clubs or something niche that has co-ed teams of ppl Additionally, I hope you disregard those silly comments that say you're "not of quality" or. "how superficial you sound" as humans are entitled to have their own opinions and preferences. I'm sure men categorize women in similar ways so don't even worry about those comments. Sending love your way!
@Grace_Yao
@Grace_Yao 10 месяцев назад
sending love right back💓
@AProudDad
@AProudDad 10 месяцев назад
You're very articulate and I enjoyed hearing your thoughts. Personally I pretty much had the same experience, and you detailed it really well. Your honesty and intellect was refreshing. This is the first time I've listened to you; No idea why you were recommended, but you seem really cool. Did you encounter guys saying "for sure" a lot when they stopped paying attention or didn't understand you but pretended to. Or, "totally." Which is a little broad. Cheers!
@steveespi5700
@steveespi5700 5 месяцев назад
Maybe your the problem
@acgu
@acgu 10 месяцев назад
That’s why I dropped dating apps, because it’s just 2 dimensional. There’s a whole vibe that you cannot catch on app, the way he talks, if he got swag… you could have swipe left on a guy on the app, but in real life, he could have turn out amazing! After being on a dating app for a year, I just went to college parties and met a lot of guys. Eventually, that practice made me make my first move on my husband at a wedding pretty easy! So I suggest that you go out in the real world because you can tell instantly if you like the person or not. 😉
@acgu
@acgu 10 месяцев назад
Also in app, there’s not really filter except geographically in a certain area so people don’t have the same interests as you. Versus if you join a club, you have some same interests than the other person, so more chances that it may work. Good luck and have fun!
@Teseraunikiri
@Teseraunikiri Месяц назад
Only white (passing) guys, right?
@AtanasStojanovski21
@AtanasStojanovski21 10 месяцев назад
What about you try to go out in the real world and approach men or get approach by them to have some natural conversation instead of swiping at home
@pamfan221
@pamfan221 10 месяцев назад
Did you not watch the part of the video where she said this is something she wants to do, but needs to work up the courage for?
@AtanasStojanovski21
@AtanasStojanovski21 10 месяцев назад
@@pamfan221 i did but stil ledt the comment to remind her😊
@broccoliking6668
@broccoliking6668 10 месяцев назад
Thanks for your honesty. Most of us are on the same page when it comes to dating and apps - none of us can really find who we want unless we're in the absolute upper echelon, looks wise. Voices can be very unattractive, laughs can be obnoxious, it's tough out there man. At least you had a positive experience with that ax throwing! Don't give up, you're pretty and seem intelligent, good luck out there
@pamfan221
@pamfan221 10 месяцев назад
I'm a woman in my mid-twenties and I related to and enjoyed this video! You're very expressive and engaging in the way you speak. It's unfortunate a bunch of bitter men found their way here. Just disregard them and continue trying to connect. The right audience will coalesce in due time.
@bladerunner8832
@bladerunner8832 7 месяцев назад
Grace must’ve found a bf. Haven’t heard from her in awhile 😁
@Grace_Yao
@Grace_Yao 18 дней назад
lol i’ll post a dating update in the next few months
@bladerunner8832
@bladerunner8832 18 дней назад
@@Grace_Yao Having a hard time?
@bridgetmistryable
@bridgetmistryable 10 месяцев назад
I hope you find the right person you want to date
@willyb609
@willyb609 10 месяцев назад
Vocal frryyyyy
@Jonathan_Tee
@Jonathan_Tee 10 месяцев назад
You need to stop the dating apps. Cause, the right guy is right here. :D
@urubutre
@urubutre 10 месяцев назад
Simp
@DelTacoJosh
@DelTacoJosh 10 месяцев назад
Some of these comments are awful
@Grace_Yao
@Grace_Yao 10 месяцев назад
fr😒
@luisadultman9632
@luisadultman9632 10 месяцев назад
🤷‍♂️ I think you're pretty neat
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