My grandparents we’re married in 1949. She made them take obey out and they were married until my grandpa passed in 2012. They always had a good laugh, if he asked her to get her something or demanded it he’d joke and say “hey you promised to obey me” and she’s say “oh no I didn’t!” “Oh yeah that’s right!” And he’d always give her a big kiss. I miss him so much.
Morgan More right marriages are dying because women aren’t obeying their men. I don’t particularly think that’s a bad thing. If my husband ever wanted to divorce because he couldn’t boss me Around, he would be doing me a favor. But he wouldn’t because our marriage is a partnership not dictatorship.
@@AllieLittleMonster You don't understand what the original meaning is behind those words. It doesn't mean doing whatever your husband tells you to do. Lack of teaching by your church. Marriages are dying because men don't want to put up with the BS and get taken to the cleaners in a divorce.
I don't understand why (especially in this day and age) when the bride clearly stated that she would not say obey in her vows that the officiant didn't just switch to cherish like almost all wedding vows are done. ??
family lowe I agree 100 percent. We are 20 years in with kids ranging from 16 to 2. There are times that both sides have to sacrifice and "obey" simply because you love your spouse more than yourself. I wish more people understood that when you have that kind of love, the word "obey" is no big deal and it is WELL worth it!
Lin Davies but I'm sure he is your slave! that's the thing with western women they don't like to "obey" their husband and want equality but their husbands have to obey them like a little bitch!
family lowe You merely redefined the word. To obey is to submit to someone else's authority. It is not to listen to one another, to respect and give mutually, to work together, or even to be reciprocally selfless. Most of your diatribe is irrelevant to the asymmetry of only one spouse vowing to obey the other.
My sister and future husband talked to the minister beforehand. They did not want "obey" in their vows. He said it anyhow and then had to wait 15 minutes while my sister gently shook her head no. It took another 5 minutes to settle her guests applause in support of her. The minister should have honored their wishes or declined to officiate.
Angela P ... My sister and brother in law both said no to "obey" and the minister agreed to leave it out. Her wedding was looking like a stand off for awhile. He finally moved on.
Dexjain 12 cherish and Obey are two completely different things. Cherish means to hold something or someone dear to your heart, to love whatever or whoever it is unconditionally. Obey is the follow whatever command or rule a superior has you do. That isn't love, and it is not the same thing. And if you honestly think that it's the same thing, I feel sorry for your future partner
The Bible says obey, you can't change what God said he created it, his words his way, the wife has to obey and respect her Husband and he is too Love and Honor his wife if you don't want to do that dont get married.
@@karendavidson7538 lmao most people who get married aren’t even religious, it’s just a “commitment” ceremony + legal buffs. 99% of us don’t care what it says in the bible
Poop Poo Mmmmm it was humour to be honest. She was publicly at last minute wanting to change the wording. She had rehearsal and plenty of time to change it as most do. He didn’t design the vows.
@@debatingaftershock6816 we don't know what went down in rehersals. He should have just respected she said no, and move on. It's their day not his stubborn ass'.
@@pooppoo8379 The minister says "We planned this nine months ago", there was plenty of time to change the wording, just as debatingaftershock said/commented
He shouldn't respect her, she's not a good person, they should've just got married by at a courthouse by some DMV employee that's what she deserves, rather than getting a minister.
it's about timing. they've planned this months ago. she didnt change it before... shes changing it NOW? and expects everyone involved to look over her oopsie tootsie moment? =_=
Red Onion It's quite evident you didn't watch the video as even the husband backed HER up. Meaning she DID discuss it nine months prior. He was paid to say what they discussed, yet failed to do so.
In response to "BehindTheHarleyshop", No, it's very cool. This is (or should be) a Christian ceremony. In the Christian faith, the man is in charge of and responsible for the family, including his wife. This is written in the Bible. The wife is to be a "help-mate" to her husband. The husband must love his wife as the Christ loves us. Meaning although he is in charge of his wife, The husband must always sacrifice and provide for his wife. The wife is not the property of the husband. The wife is NOT required to provide, but she may do so if she so chooses. The wife however IS in charge of and responsible for all household affairs including the children if any.
@@LitlMiraclePupnPony No, they're not divorced. They're still together and the latest videos on this Channel were by him and his wife, discussing David and Sally's situation in Japan. This is the latest one as of today: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4pKTRJaY_E8.html
@@LitlMiraclePupnPony They are still married and it was Stephan's father that married them. It was planned and if you watched the video's you would know this. Roberta and Stephan are Happily married. David and Sally are the one's from the Diamond Princess in Hospital quarantined .
surya H S the hole religion is a fairytale men made up to excuse what shitty things they did ( treating women lower, having slaves) and to have simple (yet wrong) answers to things they couldn't explain. It was the same with Roman/greece religion about Zeus/Jupiter as they thought when there is thunder Zeus made it because he is angry.
When my grandmother married my grandfather in the 1940s she didn't want to say this part either, so she hired two separate ministers to conduct the wedding, one to say the first half of the vows and one to come in the second half just as this line was meant to be said, So it was conveniently skipped. Needless to say, she wasn't about to obey anyone, she was her own lady, and a pretty kickass one at that.
Thankfully 'to obey' is no longer a default vow in mainstream church weddings. And in fact hasn't been since about 1980. And what did they rehearse? Never mind 'we did this nine months ago'; what about the run-through? You have to opt in to 'obey' if that's your choice. Needless to say no minister can compel a bride to say the vow if she doesn't want to. And for those who think 'obey' is all about letting the man be the 'captain' of the ship and all that crap, it's not. It comes from an age when the woman, as a possession was handed over from her father as legal owner, to her husband as new legal owner. She was supposed to obey, because naturally she had no self-agency and her right to self-determination was non-existent. Dress it up in modern terms, how you like, but that's the real tradition behind 'obey' in a marriage service, if you really want the truth. No self-respecting person promises to obey another without it's being mutual.
Such perfect planning and arrangement, a perfect place for musicians, for signatures, for the invitees, for the bridesmaids, lights, decorations. I haven't seen a more perfect setting
Betty Apama..Yes, agree with you. I have marvelled at that fairytale setting several times now. It all looked absolutely spectacular and the bride and her bridesmaids were stunning.
Regularity All stairs are dangerous - even just one or two. You must be wondering about all your family and friends every minute of every day! There's danger everywhere, lurking around every corner. be careful you don't burst a blood vessel with your wondering!
Having watched David Abel's recent vlogs, ( David and Sally Abel are the British couple who contracted the coronavirus on the Diamond Princess ) I can understand the family's sense of humour
When I first saw this I thought someone was going to fall down the steps or the bride’s dress catch on fire. It’s hard to call this an officiate’s worst nightmare when he could’ve changed to wording to be equal for both husband and wife instead of what was written on his archaic script.
That's a red flag. Her ego is bigger than her love. Give it 10 years before she complains that he's holding her down, not good enough, and end up with the usual divorce where she takes 50% of his stuff. Poor schmuck. I pity him.
You are so wrong. This was not serious - it was planned as a bit of light heartedness in the ceremony. They are very happy and standing the test of time.
@@TheREALDavidAbel This is what, year 5? I said 10 years. At least. And I still stand by my point. A lot of people uses jokes and laughter to hide their ego and evading question. I hope they live happily ever after, but I sure won't be able to trust people who turn a sacred oath in front of God, into "LoL so funneh" situation. Not this time. Not on wedding vows.
D. Freeman The issue is that the man said to love and to cherish and woman was supposed to say to love and obey. Different wording from an age where women were property.
That's ridiculous, to love and obey? Hahahahaha I mean I will serve him and be a loyal wife, but I don't have to obey in a sense of inferiority. However obeying in a sense of love and where he does the same for me, then sure. But he shouldn't even mention that word at all. That's between the wife and husband.
It's the language of the Bible, and this language has been used by the Church for like 2000 years. A dying culture with skyhigh divorce rates would think this language is ridiculous though...
I'm a wedding Officiant, and I would NEVER put those words in my script! Good for this bride, and there was NO request for the groom to repeat those words of OBEY?? grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Why was he asked to love and cherish but she was asked to love and obey??? That’s crap good for her for catching it and standing her ground by not saying it. But her husband to be asked are you serious? She is awesome!!
NC500 - Dave Abel Anti Clockwise route Motorhome with 2 Yorkie dogs - so all pubs we visited were dog friendly. Starting at Inverness we travelled :- 1. Rosemarkie CCC site - ask for waters edge. Dolphins!! 2. Helmsdale Harbour. FREE O’Night - no services OR Bannockburn Inn (Helmsdale) FREE O’night and inexpensive good food (dog friendly) 3. Latheronwheel Harbour. Beautiful setting. No services 4. Lybster Harbour. Beautiful setting. No services 5. The Old Smiddy Inn, Pub Stopover. Dog Friendly 6. Duncansby Head. Free. No services 7. John O’Groats just stopped 2 hours 8. The Crofters Snug. CMH club. Overlooking Orkney. Wonderful 9. Dunnet Head Lighthouse. Free. Beautiful setting. No services 10. Castletown Harbour. Beautiful setting. No services 11. Marie Curie Field of Hope. Daffodil field. Free. O’Night Parking. No services 12. Betty Hill Car Park. A836. Beautiful setting. No services 13. Kyle of Tongue. A838. Amazing. This is a MUST! Choice of two wild camps, one on the causeway itself and the other the far side (our preference if high winds) No services 14. 94 Laird. CCC site. A838 IV27 4UN 15. Smoo Cave Hotel 16. Kyle of Durness. Beautiful setting. No services 17. Kylesku. A894 Wonderful. No services 18. Rogie Falls IV14 9EQ. No services 19. Loch Maree, Achnasheen. There are two wild sites olongside this long loch. The 2nd is down a narrow road and you park along the shore. Picnic tables and magnificent. This is a MUST. 20. Oban CCC site We then headed to Loch Ness (CCC site) and stayed 3 nights before heading back home. Our NC500 trip was not rushed and we so enjoyed it. Have a wonderful trip! Sally & Dave
This was epic! What a great family - we loved when they described what happened on a recent vlog. Great sense of humor - the whole lot of them!! (Now I’m taking like a British person!)
I heard the officiant say “We planned this 9 months ago” so I don’t believe this is something that she wasn’t aware of. The word obey in wedding vows are from the Christian teaching on marriage, the relationship between a man and woman is in the image of the relationship of Christ and His church. In a Christian marriage the man is the head of the household and a wife submits to him just as the church submits to Christ. I have no problem submitting or obeying (to give direction) my husband because I trust him completely just as I trust Christ with my life. Some people (women) fear the word obey as if they’re a dog obeying their master. If you have a Godly man who honors what God teaches, values his wife and puts their relationship above anything else then he wouldn’t treat his wife like an animal. If a couple doesn’t want the word obey in their vows that’s their choice but it certainly should be discussed way before the wedding day.
For the groom's vow he said to love and cherish... What's up 'to obey' in the bride's vow?? No modern day woman would agree to that.. 9mths ago my butt
I am a bit confused, my husband and I met with the celebrant numerous times, to make sure he had it right, we had a rehearsal the day before. and everything went according to plan on the wedding day. This guy is inefficient, or not good at his job. On the day, it shouldn't be any confusion.
I doubt it, she probably just saw the minister as another ornament in her fairytale wedding and didn't give it much thought, she was probably more focused on what type of scented candles to use than the vows she would be making.
We’re still married and very happy. 5 years now. I’m the groom and the officiant is my dad. I asked him to swap out the vows as a joke on my wife. She reacted as I expected and our friends loved it.
Did anyone notice that this video was posted by David Abel Celebrant Training and that the groom's name was David Abel? In other words, there's a good chance this is all staged and not a real wedding at all.
They talked about this in a live stream. It was a joke as it was written as obey, they agreed no and change it, but last min they decided to pull a joke and add it back in (the grooms father is the one presiding over it)
Dexjain 12, by definition, there's a bit of a difference. Respect is earned. You are listening because you respect them, not because you have to. Obedience means you do what you're told whether you respect the person or not or whether they have respect you or not. It's best to know the difference, especially in marriage.
Ummm....did the bride not rehearse those vows a single time prior to standing at the altar?? She didn’t know what she was going to be promising until the actual moment? Lol at fakery.
What a stunning venue. It's a pity they ruined it with poor planning. This should have been discussed before the ceremony. If her officiant refused to remove the word obey she should have hired someone else
Just so you know, this is not a real wedding! You have to get married legally in a registry office first, this ceremony with this old dude is meaningless, just for show! And he charges you a fortune on top!
I do not add that at all when marrying a couple. Have been asked to twice and I accommodate but I don’t like it. With both members often out in the world working and making the home and relationship work that word doesn’t add value to the ceremony but does decrease the partnership.
A car has one stearing which steers front wheels. And rear wheels have to obey that. Otherwise a car would never drive properly. And may break it apart.
@@AllieLittleMonster but that concept fits exactly. How do you explain increasing divorce rates otherwise? I'm not saying who should obey whom but as long as one obeys other it should be fine.
raptor eagles no, it doesn’t . Humans all function the same. Car parts have one specific use and purpose. I know so many people who stay in shit marriages miserable because they were taught that obeying is what a marriage is, and they can’t leave. In my opinion I’d rather be divorced. And yes divorce is terrible and sad I think people back in the day stayed even when they weren’t in love. Divorce is a choice and a Positive one for some people, and for most the best thing they could do. I think divorce is higher because people have lower standards so they get married to anyone without love. Then they cheat, and people now A days don’t put up with shit. I also think social media can be a factor. I don’t know, I believe everyone is in control of their relationship and can make it what they want as long as both parties are 100%. My husband and I are a team. We don’t tell each other what to do and don’t make orders unless it’s something that effects us both or our kids. We both hustle, have our own businesses and take care of the kids . I’m smart enough I don’t need a boss. We are one, one person, one equal person and we love each other infinitely. It’s evident you aren’t married.
@@AllieLittleMonster I'm very happily married, thank you. We both obey each other. And may I add we both have very very different views about everything. But our marriage isn't sh*t. I think marriage is more about adjustments. And if you think carefully car analogy fits perfectly to marriage. Give it a thought.
raptor eagles I never said your marriage is shit. If you’re respecting each other it’s one thing. But to tell your s/o they can’t have friends, can’t drink, can’t get tattoos, dress a certain way. It’s wrong. When we dated we vowed before getting married we will never boss each other around. We consult on finances and kids and home decor lol. But anything that doesn’t effect the other its up to me or him to decide for ourselves. I wouldn’t change for my husband and I would NEVER do or not do Something just because of my opinion unless it was hurting him or our family.
I wouldn't want my wife say "obey" either or, well, say it myself if it would be part of my vow. Vows should have 'happy' words in it like mentioned in other comments, 'respect', 'honor', etc. Idk why the minister just didn't skip that part and continued with the next phrase, he should've just respect that choice and move on. It's not like it's his wife or wedding.
The husband should've stop the marriage right then and there. If she does not want to obey her husband, why did she git married in the first place. Obeying your husband is what marriage is for a woman. She does not deserve to even get married. She deserves the flaming depths of hell.
Love and cherish And Love and obey are not the same vows. marriage is a partnership and if you try to put yourself above your partner without thinking of them that marriage won't last long
Most ministers are like politicians: they're into control. Religion and politics -- not much difference between them. I would like to see a video where the minister puts the 'obey' in the groom's vow. Listen to the howling THEN!
lovesthe 50s who knows what they actually went over. He is being very adamant on her saying obey. He could have very easily just moved on and said cherish like the groom said.
Isaac Good I mean majority of women don’t want to be forced to “obey” their husbands. We are people too. We don’t have to obey anyone including our husbands or pastors.
These vows are a long tradition with biblical origins. The word obey in the sense of scripture in context of ordained marriages has an almost lost meaning. False doctrine of feminism has destroyed gender roles given to us by God and look how great our society is now👀👀. Feminism even seeps through this wedding ceremony.
So what's wrong with the word "obey?" It goes both ways ... You show respect and obey him as he shows respect and obey you. My husband does everything for me and with me - cook, clean, laundry and whatever I want and need. If I come home from work late, a hot meal is on the table. We do not keep score of how many times each of us cooked this week. The sad part is people pay too much attention on the word than loving and taking care of each other. That is what marriage is all about, It's no long just you; both of you are one - raising and making a family for ever and ever and til death do us part!!!
its ok to obey your husband, but only in The Lord as God directs, and as the Husband obeys God and loves his wife, and children should obey their parents in The lord as well and parents should lovingly lead their children in the right way in which they should go, there is a subordination to the family that God has ordained that is perfectly fine and necessary and even beautiful if it is done right, when someone who is in authority is not acting properly we have the right to go to the one who is in authority above them and plead our case, being in authority does not give you the right to control others, you must follow your own responsibility
