Alexa, you owe no apologies. You've given so much of yourself over the years, and now it's time for you to have "me" time. I have long been astonished at how much you do in the writing community, as well as being such a prolific writer and reader. And on top of that, a demanding day job? It's incredible. Take the time you need now. Thank you for all you have done.
Hey Alexa. I’m a longtime viewer but could never get the nerve to comment. I see your amazing videos and advice that are always so real and so transparent and like so many other aspiring authors who flock to your channel, they inspire me to keep following this path. Thank you for sharing your struggles and my heart is with you as you venture into these new goals!
I hope I speak for all of your subscribers when I say thank you so much for everything you’ve given, and please take a step back to make room for yourself (for your joy and relaxation), your IRL relationships, and your creative passions. Sending best wishes for you this growth year! ❤️
The video is not weird at all! Your honesty is comforting. Everyone tries to act like their life is completely together and full of sunshine and lollipops which of course is not true. I think you’re setting a good example by letting people know that they need to take care of themselves and take the time to reflect and reset their goals when necessary. Thank you!
When we watched Encanto together, surface pressure came on and my sister looked over and was like, "That's your theme, isn't it, Jo?" I died in that moment. Because it's true. Whether a literal older sister or not, there's a lot of that struggle that I think women especially face in dealing with pressure, grief, etc that affects how we work through crisis. Some people look on and think it is resilience...but sometimes it's just not very healthy coping mechanisms mistranslated as strength. I'm with you. 2022 is a goal of balance for me too.
Oh man, I can only imagine how enormous of an undertaking it'll be to sell your mom's convo - mentally, emotionally, physically. You've got this. I hear you so hard on social. I left Twitter ages ago, and when I joined Insta, I was promised it was a happier place. And it was...but also, it wasn't. Especially once quarantine started. I deleted the app from my phone last fall; haven't deleted my account yet, but I'm leaning towards it. And you're so right about how once a person passes into a certain level of 'influencer' or whatever, there's a shift in how the general public looks at them (and talks about them) that simply isn't right. It's something I've been guilty of and I'm trying to be more mindful about.
Alexa, I’m right there with you so far as trying to compartmentalize the passing of a parent by smothering yourself in work. My mother passed in 2020 and my brother and I, the sole survivors, have done NOTHING toward liquidating the estate. Covid has been a blessing (?) in that we’ve put everything on hold until the plague lets up. Good luck to you. Remember that this will pass. BTW, I cut off all social media when my mom died. I just didn’t have time for the things I needed to do, writing, and Tweeting.
Would you ever consider doing a book shelf tour video? I see your shelf behind you all the time and love seeing what's on it, what editions you have, etc. Please share! (But like, also don't if you don't want to. You deserve every you moment you need this year, you owe us nothing and aren't obligated to post, or share or what have you!!!)
That sounds like a healthy balance to strike for your own wellbeing. I love how you're being patient with yourself and focusing on what matters most to you. Oftentimes, people don't see the struggle behind the success. We all think everyone else has it together when there's always more happening behind the scenes. My goal this year is to scale back on my editorial work so that I can focus more on my own writing. It's been hard not to constantly think "I should be a better writer/editor/RU-vidr/friend/spouse/family member" etc. But it's simply not possible to do it all and stay sane. I can't wait to see what you do next in all of your personal endeavors, Alexa! :)
I haven't finish the video yet, but I wanted to tell you that I lost my mother nearly two years ago and I relate a lot on the ever-lasting process of grief. I wish I could give myself onto writing, but for me, it became really difficult to write basically anything ever since. Anyways, I love your videos and you always convey your strenght & great advice. Sending love
The thing is, any person who loves your content, and cares about you as a person - should and will be supportive in you scaling back. Your real life and mental health is always above all else more important. We will obviously miss your face if you take a break BUT we’ll be excited when we see you again. Any person who gets upset or starts drama over you taking breaks, isn’t a true “friend” or follower, in my opinion. Excited to see what 2022 brings for you! Wishing you all the best of luck and happiness!! 💕
Take it easy on yourself Alexa. To throw some clichés at you. You can do hard things. It’s all going to get better. I hope you will continue to make videos about books and writing because I selfishly enjoy them. But mostly you should probably just write books. Enjoy. What you’re most passionate about. I hope you will still enjoy sharing it with us. Day by day.
I am very sorry to hear about your mother. No matter how long ago it was, that is a would I could never imagine healing from. You are not alone. There are many psycological studies that show social media is bad for EVERYONE'S mental health, but that it effects school age children the most. The study correlates the higher affliction to the amount of time spent on social media, and school age children tend to spend them most time on social media. I fully support not cowtowing to the "You MUST advertise on social media!" Do what makes you the happiest and healthiest.
You have had so much on your plate, I think stepping back makes a lot of sense. Don't feel bad about it! And yes, the last couple of years feel unending. I finally got around to finding a therapist late last year and that has been so helpful. Wishing you all the best with everything!
The burn out is real. I cried all the way thru Encanto. I'm so glad you're prioritizing yourself. I've found my creative brainspace is lacking as I have so little bandwidth for anything. I hope having some breathing room give you more space to process grief and this ongoing collective trauma and to tap into your creative well. I look forward to all the collabs coming up! It's so fun to see people doing creative work together.
I feel you! My mom passed away in 2020 after cruel 5 month of pancreas cancer. Sometimes, I still cannot believe that she‘s dead. I‘m missing her so much. And last month, I had to sell her house where she and her sister grow up, and where I grew up as well. This was kind of loosing her again! All the best to you, feel hugged!
I also know from firsthand experience that dealing with your grief AND your deceased parent's estate is an incredibly stressful burden. It essentially tore what remained of my family apart. Don't let any relatives cross your boundaries and take things of your mom's that you want. YOU take precedence as the owner of her property now. It is such a difficult step to let go of that last place she lived in, but you'll hold your memories forever. Once you get this step over with, along with the grief, you'll also feel a massive weight off your shoulders and the path ahead will be cleared.
We never expect our parents to die. My Grandma died just before Thanksgiving at 95 and my mom is still shocked that it happened. I'm still shocked that it happend. Good luck with the condo sale, this is definately the year to do it. Kim Chance did the "Year of No" a few years back and it ended up that she left RU-vid. I hope you don't leave, but you got to do what you need to. It seems like you need a partial year of No. One of my goals this year is to be able to do a split by December 31. I've wanted to be able to do a split since I was 5 and I'm turning 40 at the beginning of February. I either have to get on it or give it up. I've also been "the bad friend" since I gave birth to my twin sons. Taking care of them and being a stay at home mom and writing, I've been kind of in a shacky caccon of survival and anxiety. I'm working on that this year. My 2 biggest writing goal this year are to publish a short story collection and get the first novel in my series professioanlly edited.
Lost a very dear and special loved one (husband’s stepmother) in a very traumatic way in late 2020. Grief has gripped me since. Exasperated by everything going on in the world. Incredible the tricks grief does to your mind and how much it drains you. Year 2022 is definitely a goal of balance and allowing myself to heal and be okay with not always being okay. ❤️
Balance is my 2022 word of the year. It's incredibly hard to do a day job, writing, RU-vid, take care of chores, errands, pets, family... I completely understand where you're coming from with balance as a goal for the new year. Selling the childhood home is so difficult. I'm glad you have a friend and support system to help you through the process. Here's hoping 2022 is a better year than the last!
As I hope your IRL friends have advised: Give Yourself a Break. As long as you need. And then: Take it Easy. Burn out can hit anyone, especially as we also deal daily with pandemic, societal, and political stress. You might be on the verge of it. Having *too many goals* really adds to those constant pressures, cumulatively. Take those 5-10 goals, personal and professional, and cut off at least 1/3 and don't even think about them again until the others are handled. Or not... I can't claim to be in a great place from which to offer staid advice. But I can tell you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
Hello! I never comment on your videos, but I LOVE them and they are so helpful to me. Selfishly, I'm sad you'll be posting less, but I'm so happy to hear you're taking that space for your own mental health because that's so important. We're in this together ❤
Alexa I just want to give you a giant hug! ❤️ I’m so glad you have some friends that can help you through this difficult time. Whatever and whenever you decide to post is completely up to you, I’m here for anything. I just hope you find the healing and balance you’re looking for. Also yesss that pressure song was so relatable it brought tears to my eyes.
It's incredible to see how far you have come. I enjoy your videos so much and I completely understand that you have to do what is best for you. People change and grow, go through experiences. Wishing you luck with facing the grief and dealing with what happens after. It would be a huge deal for our family to actually buy a home. My Mom has been dreaming of it and trying to. I don't know what I would ever do if I lost her. Or if she had a property she worked for. You need to take time for yourself mentally. Glad you're doing it.
Thank you for sharing your authentic experience. I only just subscribed a few days ago as I am working on my first novel. There is so much "pretending to be ok" going on all over social media that it's easy to feel even more alone in our aloneness. Thanks for being awesome and relatable.
It's really great to hear from you again. Writing is a wierd mix of publicity and privacy. Glad to hear you're doing better. Thanks for all the great writing tips and motivation.
I am also not done with this video, but I wanted to say grief definitely never fades all the way, and it does constantly morph. It's absolutely a new normal you have to learn to navigate. I lost my mother at 11 and my father at 18 (I am now 35) and the idea that it will be 18 years this year since my dad passed is just bonkers. My husband lost his mom last year, (she was also a single mom and they were also very close) and he is the executor, so I am seeing the struggle of that firsthand, which was stuff I didn't have to deal with as a teen -- thank goodness. At any rate, you have all my empathy. Do whatever you need to do for you. Life is hard. All you can do everyday is your best.
Girl, you do you. Self care is important, that why I've also been off Twitter for about 2 years until recently. I want to wish you the very best of 2022. You deserve the break. And I want to thank you for taking the time to be so candid about publishing and your personal writing journey. It's been a huge boost in helping me to get over my own fears and anxiety. THANK YOU!
Girl, you do what you need to do. Taking care of things of your mom's, taking care of yourself, and writing is all important. Don't feel bad. Grief is a process and Surface Pressure is a bop. We'll be here when you do post. Also, sorry if me commenting on a comment of yours on another channel's video stressed you out. XD
Alexa, I've been watching your videos for a couple of years now and you've taught me SO much about the publishing industry (I'm a college student). I wanted to reiterate that all of your viewers support you as a person and you absolutely deserve to take time for yourself! I was raised by a single mom and we're super close, so I empathize with your grief journey so much. I am sending you gentle healing for 2022❤
Take care of yourself! Your Content is great, but not at the expense of your mental health. You’ve been doing great, and we all appreciate what you do!
It will be hard, but I am sure you will get through everything with your mom. My mom tells me all the time the pain never stops. I am realizing the same thing when it comes to social interaction. I've become a homebody and should socialize, but don't know anyone that's in to the same things I am. :( The search begins, I guess!
I entered this video thinking 'nooo don't leave'. I left it thinking 'take care of yourself first'. We'll be here when/if you come back. I've lost people and I understand the grief. Take all the time you need.
The Buddha said our parents are seeds within us...we are the extension of their lives. They never really leave us...they can't...they truly live within. Be well. I'm sure you're best writing is sure to come!
I'm so sorry about your mother. I didn't realize it was just you guys. Can't imagine how hard that must be. I feel you on the stress and the burn out. 2022 is definitely a revaluation year for me, too.
Very sorry for your loss but appreciate the openness, transparency, and commitment to your viewers, even though you owe us nothing. Re: The condo, on the bright side, you could not have come into ownership of that at a better time. With this being one of the hottest seller's market in a long time, you could probably get quite a bit more on the sale of it now than you could have just a few years ago. A few years back my parents sold my childhood home and it was bittersweet at a time, but then I came to understand the house itself is just a house, the memories of it will stay with me even though the people living it in now are different, and the stuff that was in there is no longer there. Even if you eventually decide to sell the condo, you're not selling the memories. Those are yours forever.
In the same boat. My dad died December 1st and we immediately had to start packing to move the next day. Grief is tricky. Good luck with all your goals, personal or otherwise. Hope everyone’s 2022 brings them better opportunities and lots of love.
I just applied for the street team! I'm most active in facebook groups, they're private but some have 10k+ members and I hope I get picked. It was really fun to be on the street team for a band I liked back in high school. I'm also moving this year and it would be a really fun way to explore our new town halfway across the country. I think it's important to change and adjust as your life does. I'm so glad you're trying to find a balance for yourself because ultimately you're the most important part of your life. You only get one you.
Alexa, you are the first author on You Tube I followed. I love your videos and your honesty and how you share the ups and downs of writing. I understand your needing to pull back some and am grateful you are still going to post but I will miss you too! I lost my mom almost four years ago and there are days I’m hit out of the blue with my grief. Your willingness to admit it’s a struggle some days is encouraging.The idea that we have to “get over someone’s death” in a certain amount of time is wrong. While I don’t want to forever be stuck in my grief so that I can’t do anything,I want to at least feel I can acknowledge it. I had to sell my childhood home too and it was hard. I took some pictures and videos and that helped. Blessings and best wishes for a great 2022.
YES!!!! to thinking deeply about the energy you're putting out and the energy you're hoping to receive. I went on a ("temporary"?) social-media break in November, and I feel so satisfied by the couple of IRL friendships (conducted over the internet, but you know what I mean) that have blossomed lately (not to mention all the "extra" room in my brain for my actual work). Sending you much love as you brace yourself for the Big Task-may the memories bring you great joy amid the sadness! 💗💗💗💗💗
It sounds like you're making the right and healthy choices for you. While I - like many - will miss you being so active on here, I'm so looking forward to these more ambitious projects. Back end of last year was a rough one. Had a bit of a breakdown and am now re-evaluating what I prioritise and where I should place my focus. I'm determined to actually write my book this year. I have ADHD so it's a bit of a hill to climb, but I'm hopeful. Your videos help so much, so thank you for all you do.
Looking forward to Pretty Dead Queens and hopeful that all goes well with your irl goals. Thank you for being so open with things going on behind the scenes. Stay safe and here is to a wonderful 2022!
Massive amounts of empathy for you. Lost my father in law in early November and figuring out estate/medical bills/etc is simply chaotic. Been writing a ton on my part as well processing grief.
Sending hugs to your very personable person, Alexa. I get what you mean about being perceived as a Thing/Persona/Brand. Wishing you all the best in the scrum. 🥰🙏🏽
Thank you so much for letting us in on your private struggles, Alexa!! You absolutely didn't need to but it's nice to know a little bit about what's going on. I've been following you on youtube for most of your time here and I couldn't help but worry a little when you didn't post for a month - parasocial relationships are weird haha! Crossing my fingers you'll reach every single one of your goals this year. Oh and I wanted to thank you for breaking a very intense year-long reading slump of mine with The Ivies. The book took a few months to arrive in Europe thanks to the panini and then I didn't manage to pick it up for another wile but in December I finally read it and I enjoyed it so much that it made me remember what I love about reading. I can't wait for Pretty Dead Queens!
Personally I've been working on my writing projects for the last seven years and it wasn't until 2021 when I found your channel that I felt true focus and a newly guided drive to see that work through. Your videos have been a guided blessing. Hearing what you're going through I'm definitely glad to hear that you're cognitively addressing the concerns you have and the goals you wanna focus on. I myself have stepped completely away from social media. Deactivated the apps on my phone and I can honestly say I immediately noticed a load lifted spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Take care of yourself, focus, and come back stronger if that's what you wanna do. But most importantly, rediscover how to live.
I'm sure the main reason you started this platform is to help grow your readership. Mission accomplished. Now you can manage it the way that fits your life best. Just don't disappear on us. ❤️
Really glad to see a new video, I was hoping it was just writing and life keeping you away, but was starting to worry a little. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. But I'm glad to hear your friends are helping you get through. I've found huge value in your videos, and I hope you keep making them. But if you can't, or can't for a while, please know that the work you have already done has been great, and you should be proud of it, even if you can't continue.
I really miss your videos (and I still rewatch your old ones, because I just like listening to you and your writing advise is great), but at the same time I genuinely wish you all the best and I totally understand that YT/social media is a hazard to one's wellbeing and eats up a ton of time. I'm also looking forward to Pretty Dead Queens and all of your future books. :D
Take the time you need, we will be here. I for one owe you so much! with the wealth of knowledge you have offered you’ve helped me make some pretty big decisions, and I totally get wanting to step away from social media.
This was the video I didn't know I needed to listen to today. I'm not sure if I cried specifically during that song but the entire movie and Mirabel's journey resonated with me because it's basically been the journey I've been on since August 2020. The first several weeks of 2022 have been just awful to be honest but I'm trying to look for the light where I can find it. I almost straight up starting bawling listening to you talk about your grief journey because I know grief all too well and understand it's like a never ending roller coaster. Thank you for being so transparent. You're always such an encouragement to me as I try to drive myself in my journey as a writer but also a human. Many hugs to you this year. You've got this girl.
I haven't finished this video yet, but you are awesome. Make the content you want. I love watching you for you. Take time for yourself. Please take care of yourself. We love you!
Having read all your books as released I think I can say unbiased that each book shows an increase in your writing ability and I'm excited! I'm also really hoping for this next project of yours to sell because YA doesn't have enough isolation books and I want one. I read "Ten" before you and had the exact same feelings. As a content creator I think in all these years you've never lost sight of the art of writing, if that makes sense. As a viewer I've watched you grow and shift, find your niche but never turned scammy with it or neglect the actual writing part. (That's not to say Authortubers have to hit some imaginary goal post of word count or success to be considered "real" writers, or that people aren't allowed to grow and shift interests.) You keep a joy for writing and have RU-vid content because you write, you don't write so that you have RU-vid content. I had the same feeling in Encanto but from "What Else Can I do" and I haven't been able to process why. Maybe something with "it didn't need to be perfect, it just needed to be, and it let me be."
I want to add I also love the idea of you taking more you time. Can I admit, as a viewer I loved those three videos a week, but in the last year I feel that pandemic burn out and it almost became too much for me as a viewer to keep up with that level of content? Going at a less intense speed sounds right up my alley right now. I actually appreciated the one video a week and while I'm always happy to see your beautiful face, I'm also greatful to be able to slow down too.
Dear Alexa, now that I am going deeper into your video, I'd like to say: my condolences for losing your Mom. ❤ I am sending you a huge wave of positive energies. Those of us who struggle with this, we really need to put "effort" into being kind with ourselves when things feel too much, and when we feel like we cant "function". I know its hard to be gentle and loving towards ourselves when we dont live up to our own expectations... but please know that there are quite a lot of us out there who think of you, want you to succeed and who want you to arrive to a good place with regards to this very deep and sorrowful matter.
Spider speed your healing! You have helped me so much with my writing and I’m sure many others. In line with this posting, I add the following: when I started writing, fiction, I had no idea that the stresses one dealt with in life would surface in one’s writing. Who knew? There are some passages in my first book and now second that I cannot read out loud to another person because of the emotions that are tied up with them. The fact that you are still in the throes of your mother’s passing does not surprise me and the fact that it surfaces in your writing is understandable to me. Also dealing with your mom’s belongings, means you are still deeply attached to the event of her death. Take time to heal. Social media be damned! I’m looking forward to your new journeys and will happily wait for when you are ready to share them. I’m a 69 years old gay man and, coincidentally was raised In the Baltimore area and now live in Georgia. I tell you that, just to let you know you are an inspiration to all manners of beings. Be strong.
This video is such Mood. Thank you for being real! I cried most during "Waiting on a Miracle" bc so much of my dreams and hopes just feel blocked and useless with the pandemic and personal stuff in that time.
The part about grief as a new state of being really hit home. I lost my sister at the start of the pandemic, almost 2 years ago now. We were both writers, she was the first person to read my first book. I don't think I'll ever be the same, but I think I'm starting to be able to live with it.
Thank you for the explanation. I started following you when you called me out on the stupid crap I was doing. I have 2 books I’m editing and still need published. My mother had a stroke which she miraculously recovered from but she never had read anything by me other than college articles. I need to get published. You do what you need to. I look forward to your posts
First very sorry for your loss. I’m glad you found someone to assist you with her condo. Yay some relief. I agree about social media. I try my hardest to enjoy it but I just can’t. For myself I compare so much. People are doing better than I am, people look lol better than I do etc. I want to be able to use it but not get sucked into strolling and comparing. Thanks for your videos, I greatly enjoy them.
I left Twitter months ago and it's one of the best decisions I've made. Please do more casual live streams and writing sprints, Alexa. I feel like it's a safe place for all of us to hang out.
Right there with ya! Stopped using Twitter, Tik-Tok and Facebook months ago. They were making me anxious and sad. And I only use Instagram to support other authors, stare at cute French guys, and post some pix about my books and kids. Other than that, it's just so bad for our mental health. But I LOVE your videos, I LOVE how positive they are, (I love your wardrobe, not for nothing. Like, this blouse you're wearing is divine), and I'm so glad you're taking care of yourself!!
You owe it to yourself to take this space and time. Your true fans want you healthy and happy and understand you ain’t a machine! Great idea to re evaluate and prioritise what makes you happy and what you are purely doing for the benefit of other people. Praying for you that 2022 is far less stressful for you x
happy 5 years to you Alexa.....thanks for your channel, as I learnt a lot from you. Thanks for your hard work and keep it up. I have been wondering about you, as you disappeared for a while.
Thanks for sharing from the heart Alexa. I wish you a happy new year. You are an inspiration to my writing and I love all of your videos. But mental health and balance is so important in life. I too, find it difficult to say no to things, but you have to for your sake
I’m so glad you’re okay. Might sound weird but I was getting worried. Lol VERY PROUD OF YOUR INNER WORK sister. You seem to have a good handle on things. I understand the rough patches, been there too. Have a wonderful day and I think it’s great that you are going to take more time for yourself. Excited for your new project!
Thank you for letting us know what's going on with you so that we don't worry about you too much. I hope this year brings you everything you need. Please don't put too much pressure on yourself about this channel. It blew up and we stay with you because we like YOU. You are candid enough. You are more than open enough. You are amazing and so is your content. We like you for what you show us of you so please don't push yourself into spaces you don't like. Take all the time you need for your irl goals. I, for one, will be so excited when you come back.
I'm a recent subscriber working through my own heavy life stuff in stupid pandemic times. For me, part of moving toward better is finally doing "that book thing" I've always meant to do. Your insights and authenticity have been invaluable (THANK YOU). Whatever content looks like in the future, I am here. For. It. You've got this. I've got this. We've got this. ❤
I'm pretty sure I have never commented before, but I need to say thank you, Alexa. Finding your channel has been so helpful to me as a beginning writer. The combination of solid writing advice, and insider scoop has been invaluable to me.
